Failure to Launch, Systemic Irony,  Path Experiences & Amusements     
 
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MSM: "PETA Seeks Memorials to Cows Killed on Ill. Roads" [12/31/11]   "An animal rights group wants Illinois to install highway signs in memory of cattle that died when trucks hauling them flipped in two separate wrecks. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants to buy the markers, one in suburban Chicago and one northwest of Peoria. PETA's request to the Illinois Department of Transportation says the signs would pay tribute to the more than 20 head of cattle killed as a result of negligent driving in Illinois this year. Ashley Byrne of PETA says the effort is part of a national campaign to call attention to how cattle suffer in the meat industry. IDOT spokesman Josh Kauffman says the request likely will be denied. Rules require that only relatives who lost loved ones in highway crashes may request roadside memorials. [...]"  Note: But, they ARE 'relatives'! They're minions!

MSM: "Dead Man Sued After His Flying Body Parts Injured Woman" [12/31/11] "Dead men tell no tales -- but they can be sued. A state appeals court ruled that a dead man can be held responsible for the injuries his body parts caused after he was struck by a train. The Chicago Tribune reports that the court found it was "reasonably foreseeable" that the Amtrak train would kill 18-year-old Hiroyuki Joho, sending his body parts flying. In 2008, Joho was killed while running to catch a train in the pouring rain, the Tribune reports. His estate is being sued by Gayane Zokhrabov, whose leg and wrist were broken after the collision. Zokhrabov's lawyer, Leslie Rosen, argued that the case should be treated like a regular negligence case, "no different than if a train passenger had been injured after the engineer hit the brakes," according to the Tribune. [...] Complex blogger Tanya Ghahremani writes that the court's ruling offers proof that "not even death can prevent the system from biting you in the ass." Joho isn't the only dead person to be sued for causing injury. In 2010 the New York Post reported that a cop involved in the fatal shooting of Sean Bell filed a lawsuit against his estate claiming that Bell injured him with his car.[...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Driver Killed After Severed Deer Head Flies Through Windshield" [12/31/11] "An elderly motorist was killed in a freak road accident after she was hit by the severed head of a deer that was hit by another car. Rosemary Bower, 70, died after a deer's head plunged through her windshield, causing her car to careen off the road in rural Reynoldsville, Pennsylvania. Police said the deer had become airborne after being hit by another car traveling in front of her. The impact sent the deer hurtling over a car driven by Rocco Ford and Scott Elgoff. It landed on her vehicle and the impact caused the deer to be cut in half with the head and shoulders hurtling through 70 year old Bower's windshield. Mrs Bower's car continued driving until it ran off the road into a ditch in rural Reynoldsville. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration there are about 1.5 million car accidents with deer each year that result in $1billion in vehicle damage. [...]"  

MSM: "Israel Wants Egypt To Return Bribes" [12/28/11] "A member of Israel's Labor Party has called on Egyptian officials to pay back Tel Aviv's bribes to Cairo during the regime of Hosni Mubarak. Binyamin Ben-Eliezer said Israel gave 300 million dollars to former dictator Mubarak to change the educational materials in order to reduce tensions between Israel and Egypt, IRNA reported. He added that the money was given to the family members of Mubarak. Reports said Mubarak's wife, Suzanne, had several meetings with Israeli officials and educational experts over the project. Suzanne Mubarak led the Egyptian UN delegation in conferences relating to women and children. Mubarak was toppled in February following 18 days of demonstrations in protest against poverty, corruption and his regime's repressive measures. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man Volunteered to Work Holiday: Killed By Gunfire" [12/27/11] "Police say a 27-year-old Surrey, B.C., man who volunteered to work Christmas Day so that his boss could enjoy the holiday has been killed by gunfire. [...]" 

Legal Case: "Grandma Says Teacher Snapped Pictures After Elementary Student Hanged Himself" [12/27/11] "A new student in elementary school who was bullied by classmates hanged himself in class and his teacher "grabbed her phone and began taking pictures" and didn't help him down until she said, "'Now that's the picture I want,'" the boy's grandmother claims in City Court.  [...] After defendant Ms. Stinger stated 'Now that's the picture I want,' she decided to place the chair back under plaintiff [J.E.'s] feet and stop him from hanging on the coat hook." The boy's grandmother says that as he was being taken to the hospital, she received a call from the school and when she arrived, "she was shown a picture of the plaintiff [J.E.] hanging from his coat." She says her grandson was hospitalized for a week, and then transferred to another school. Dowler and her grandson seek $10 million for gross negligence."  

MSM: "Man Robs Store on 'Shop With a Cop' Night" [12/27/11] "We don’t want to imply that there’s a right time to shoplift, but there’s definitely a wrong one, and that wrong one is on "Shop With a Cop" night. David Sherman, 49, tried to make off with a $79 DVD player from a Nebraska Walmart on Wednesday, apparently unaware that more than two dozen cops were in the store, WFIE 14 reports. The cops were taking 75 underprivileged kids out for a shopping trip and pictures with Santa when they spotted the less-than-stealthy Sherman running out of the store with electronics in hand. Several officers pursued him, and caught him hiding in a car in the parking lot. Sherman said he was desperate for drug money. He’s been in prison five times before, and now could be facing 10 years to 60 years for shoplifting and other charges. [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Soldier Shot At Party Near Home Had Survived Suicide Bombing" [12/26/11] "He'd survived a suicide bombing. Now a soldier who served in Afghanistan could be paralyzed after being shot during a welcome home party Friday night in San Bernardino. Christopher Sullivan, 22, suffered wounds during the bombing attack, which killed five fellow soldiers, his family said. "He was lucky he came home," his mother, Suzanne Sullivan, told the San Bernardino Sun. "My son didn't deserve this. He served his country." Sullivan was in very serious condition, though he was expected to survive. The shooter fled the party on foot and has not been identified or located. Sullivan was on leave from the Army for the holidays and attending a party Friday night when his brother and another man began arguing over football a little before midnight, San Bernardino police Lt. Gwendolyn Waters told The Times. The gunman, in his 20s, punched Sullivan's brother, Waters said. Sullivan stepped in and the man pulled a gun from his waistband and fired at least three shots, Waters said. Two shots hit Sullivan, one in the neck and the other in the buttocks. About 30 to 40 people attended the party, which was held at the home of one of Sullivan's friends, Waters said. The shooting occurred in the side yard.  [...]" 

MSM: "BLM Nevada Stallion Castration Plans On Hold Until Court Ruling" [12/26/11] "Federal land managers have agreed to postpone their precedent-setting plan to castrate hundreds of wild stallions in eastern Nevada pending a federal court's review of the issue. [...]"  Note: That's just nuts ...

Higher Self Intervention: "Man Miraculously Escapes As Satellite Fragment Crashes Into His House" [12/26/11]   "Andrei Krivorukov got a wonderful Christmas gift today: his very own life. He saved it after a titanium ball from a Russian communication satellite crashed right into its house, escaping death by just a few feet. The Russian satellite was a Meridian, which is used for civilian and military communications. It was destroyed when a Soyuz-2 rocket exploded in midair, just a few minutes after its launch from the Plesetsk Cosmodrome—a Russian spaceport, located 500 miles north of Moscow. The catastrophe sent several pieces flying over Siberia, near the city of Tobolsk and as far as 62 miles from the city of Novosibirsk. One of them was the 11-pound titanium ball that fell through Krivorukov's roof, landing right where he was minutes before. That was when he decided to go to his yard to grab some wood for his fireplace.  [...]"  

MSM: "Passenger's Frosted Cupcakes Spark Airport Terror Alert" [12/25/11] "A woman who flew home from Las Vegas claimed an airport security officer confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be a security risk. Rebecca Hains from Peabody, Massachusetts, said a Transportation Security Administration agent at McCarran International Airport took her cupcake as she passed through security. He told her its frosting was enough like a gel to violate TSA restrictions on allowing liquids and gels onto flights to prevent them from being used as explosives. 'I just thought this was terrible logic,' Hains, a 35-year-old communications professor at Salem State University, told ABC. Hains said the agent didn't seem worried that the cupcake, which was in a jar, could actually be explosive. Instead, he was only concerned that it fit some bureaucratic definition about what was prohibited. She said he even offered to let her eat it away from the airport security area. Hains said she told the agent she had passed through security at Boston's Logan International Airport earlier in the week with two cupcakes packaged in jars, that were gifts from a student. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Woman Dies After Sleepwalking Into Lake" [12/23/11] "A 55-year-old New Jersey woman with a history of sleepwalking has drown after unconsciously walking across a train trestle near her apartment and falling into a lake, police believe. Friends and neighbors of Charlene Ferrero continue helping police in Oaklyn, N.J., piece together the strange chain of events that led to her death sometime over the weekend.  [...]"  

Satire: "Santachrist" FKN News [12/23/11] [16:00]  Note: A holiday message from Deek. Related: "Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained (A Very TSA Christmas)" [2:23] 

MSM: "Brazilian Mother Expecting Twins Gives Birth To Two-Headed Child" [12/22/11] "One mother learned her baby had two heads just moments before giving birth via Cesarean section in northern Brazil Monday morning. Doctors say the babies, which have two heads and share one body, are conjoined twins with functioning organs.  [...]"  Note: A minionesque dynamic. Nature spirit path in bodies ... not higher self incarnations. It's all minions from now on, pretty much, since time is short.

MSM: "Dad Can Keep Big Jury Award for Cop Beating" [12/20/11] "A jury properly awarded more than $101,000 to a man who testified that a Boston cop beat him up when he showed up late to return his children to the custody of his ex-wife, a federal judge ruled. [...]"  

Commentary:  "Congress Overturns Incandescent Light Bulb Ban" [12/19/11] "Congressional negotiators struck a deal Thursday that overturns the new rules that were to have banned sales of traditional incandescent light bulbs beginning next year. That agreement is tucked inside the massive 1,200-page spending bill that funds the government through the rest of this fiscal year, and which both houses of Congress will vote on Friday. Mr. Obama is expected to sign the bill, which heads off a looming government shutdown. Republicans dropped almost all of the policy restrictions they tried to attach to the bill, but won inclusion of the light bulb provision, which prevents the Obama administration from carrying through a 2007 law that would have set energy efficiency standards that effectively made the traditional light bulb obsolete. [...]"  Note: Nice to know we'll have bulbs, if nothing else.

MSM: "Thief Injured Attempting To Steal Copper Wire From School" [12/18/11] "A thief apparently looking to steal copper from equipment on the roof of a Miami-Dade school fell more than two stories, a debilitating plunge that left him unable to walk, apparently with a broken hip or leg. The hapless Spiderman was captured by security cameras at Charles Wyche Elementary School in Miami Gardens. He arrives, wearing a ski mask, and begins to arrange ropes he’s carrying for a climb up the outside wall of the school to the roof, more than two stories above. Moments later a second camera angle shows the man falling to the ground – a drop of more than 25 feet – where he begins to writhe in pain. The intruder dragged himself out on to a walkway and attempted to stand up, but immediately fell back down. He then dragged himself on his belly out of the school, pushing a pair of bolt cutters in front of him. “He was trying to get on the roof of the school to commit copper theft,” said schools police Sergeant Ivan Silva. “As you can see from the video, he’s not the most skillful burglar.” “He sustained what we believe is a significant injury,” said schools police Chief Charles Hurley. “Someone knows who he is. We’re asking the community to help us identify him.” [...]"  

MSM: "Man Stole Woman's Car During Movie Date" [12/18/11] "The 27-year-old Floridian was on a movie date last week with Sarah Bush, 35, when he asked for her car keys so that he could retrieve something from the vehicle. Bush gave him the keys and went back to watching “Immortals” (Pratt had paid for the movie tickets, while Bush shelled out for a nacho combo). However, Pratt--who had been dating Bush for two weeks--never returned to the Cobb Theater in Wesley Chapel. When Bush departed, she realized that her rented Ford Focus had been stolen. When she called Pratt, he left no doubt about the whereabouts of her wheels: “Ha ha I stole your car,” he said, according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office report. The vehicle, owned by Enterprise Rent-A-Car, was recovered Sunday in a Walmart parking lot after Pratt called Bush and told her where he abandoned the $13,000 vehicle. When cops caught up with Pratt Wednesday he copped to swiping the car and leaving it at the Walmart in New Port Richey. As a result, he was arrested for felony grand theft and booked into the Pasco County lockup in lieu of $5000 bond.[...]"  Note: Raised by wolves.

MSM: "Colombian Man Tried Smuggling 16 People Into US By Posing As Cheerleading Team" [12/16/11] "At least one Colombian man has nothing to cheer about today. Duastin Salazar, 28, pleaded guilty to visa fraud charges after trying to smuggle 16 people into the U.S. posing as a cheerleading squad, U.S. Immigration announced Thursday. [...]"  

MSM: "Man Awarded $10M For Segway Accident While Riding Blindfolded And Without A Helmet On Obstacle Course" [12/16/11] "A Bridgeport jury has awarded $10 million to a 23-year-old man who suffered a brain injury in a Segway accident. The jury on Wednesday determined that New Hampshire-based Segway Inc. and two employees were responsible for John Ezzo's injuries in the accident, which happened at a company demonstration of its two-wheeled vehicle at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven in September 2009. Ezzo's lawyer, Robert Adelman, says his client was riding the Segway blindfolded and without a helmet through an obstacle course set up by company workers when he fell off and injured his head. Adelman says Ezzo had to drop out of the university because of the injury and is now a handyman. Lawyers for Segway didn't immediately comment on the verdict. [...]"  

MSM: "Saudi Arabia Executes Woman Convicted Of "Sorcery" [12/13/11] "The Saudi Interior Ministry says in a statement the execution took place on Monday, but gave no details on the woman's crime. The London-based al-Hayat daily, however, quoted Abdullah al-Mohsen, chief of the religious police who arrested the woman, as saying she had tricked people into thinking she could treat illnesses, charging them $800 per session. The paper said a female investigator followed up, and the woman was arrested in April, 2009, and later convicted in a Saudi court. It did not give the woman's name, but said she was in her 60s. The beheading took to 73 the number of executions in Saudi Arabia this year.  [...]"  

MSM: "Man Takes Casino To Court After Being Told £37m Win Is 'Software Error'" [12/13/11] "A man who thought he had won a £37m jackpot on a fruit machine was sorely disappointed when casino bosses waived off the win as a “computer error” and gave him just £60 and a meal voucher instead. Swiss gambler Behar Merlaku, 26 thought his luck had changed when he got just four out of five matches and the slot machine started ringing and flashing its lights at a casino in Bregenz, Austria, telling him he had won millions. But his win turned sour when casino operators told him that it was a mistake, and he had to accept the meal voucher and £60 or leave the premises. Angry and embittered, Merlaku is now taking his case to courts, in one of the biggest ever lawsuits against Casinos Austria AG, claiming he is owed the money the machine announced he had won. Gaming operators are said to be watching the case with baited breath. The casino is blaming the people who made the software for it malfunction, whilst pointing to an Austrian law that says winnings can’t be any higher than £1.7m (2m euros). [...]" 

MSM: "Woman Says Starbuck's Has a Screw Loose" [12/13/11] "A woman with a prosthetic leg sued Starbucks, claiming its employees wouldn't let her use a restroom to fix a loose screw unless she bought something first. Janet Marx says at least one employee at the Stockton Starbuck's knew her as a regular customer when she entered on Sept. 20, to repair her prosthetic leg. As she made her way to the privacy of the restroom, Marx says, one of the two clerks on duty told her she could not use the restroom without buying something. "The clerk also said, 'I can't be nice to anyone unless they purchase an item,'" according to the complaint in San Joaquin County Court. Marx, stunned, said she turned to the other clerk on duty, who knew her and knew of her disability, but he responded that there was nothing he could do. [...]"  

MSM: "Mom Breaks Into Nearly 30 Homes After Dropping Kids Off At School" [12/13/11] "Police have charged Melissa Addison, 36, from Chesterfield, with breaking into and stealing from homes. According to a press release obtained by CBS Washington, Henrico police says these burglaries took place in the Varina area between Oct. 26 and Dec. 2. According to the report, Addison would drop her children off to school each morning and then travel to Henrico to break into homes. After her arrest, police say she confessed to 22 break-ins in Henrico County, three in Charles City County, and two in Chesterfield County. [...]" 

MSM: "Brazil: 50 Tons Of Corn Stolen From Moving Train" [12/12/11] "Police in Brazil's southeastern Sao Paulo state are investigating the theft of 50 metric tons (55 U.S. tons) of corn from a moving train. A police report says the thieves greased the train tracks, making the wheels of the 54-wagon locomotive skid and slow down before they used a tow truck with a hook to remove the corn-filled containers. The report says the theft occurred as the train traveled through a rural area about 180 miles (300 kilometers) north of the capital. The train was headed to the southeastern port of Santos with 60 metric tons (66 U.S. tons) of corn and sugar. The case is reminiscent of Wild West robberies, where bandits on horses stole from moving trains. [...]"  

MSM: "Bank Penalizes Kid With $4.85 In His Account By Charging Him $234.95 In Fees In Two Weeks" [12/11/11] "A young man left $4.85 in his TCF Bank account. TCF assessed him a $9.95 "maintenance fee" for not having enough money in his account. Then they charged him for being overdrawn by $5.10 (ten cents more than he was allowed by their rules). In less than two weeks, they'd assessed so many fees and penalties against the account holder that he owed them $229.10. All for having the temerity to have a low-balance account. The bank said it was his own fault for not having more money. Finally, they relented -- only after being contacted by a newspaper. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man Killed By Nevada Deputy Near Own Burial Plot" [12/09/11] "A man whose wife had recently died was only a few feet away from his own tombstone in a family burial plot when he pointed a loaded gun at a deputy and was fatally shot, authorities said Thursday. David Pendleton, 77, died Wednesday at the Gardnerville Cemetery after summoning police with an anonymous report of a dead body outside a white truck, police Sgt. Jim Halsey said in a statement.  We don't know ultimately what his intent was, whether it was to shoot himself or be shot by the deputy," Halsey told The Associated Press. Pendleton's shotgun was "fully loaded and ready to be fired," he said, adding that the incident unfolded quickly and before other officers arrived. [...]"  

MSM: "Tennessee Firefighters Let Mobile Home Burn Because Couple Didn't Pay Protection Fee" [12/07/11] "A Tennessee couple has lost everything after their home burned to the ground as firefighters watched and did nothing. Vicky Bell told WPSD-TV that she called 911 when her mobile home in Obion County caught fire. Firefighters responded but did not put out the blaze because she does not subscribe to the local fire service. Bell says she could "look out my mom's trailer and see the trucks sitting at a distance." Rural residents who want fire protection can get service from the nearby town of South Fulton, but they must pay a $75-a-year fee. South Fulton Mayor David Crocker said that if the city's firefighters responded to people who didn't pay there would be no incentive for anyone to subscribe. He said firefighters will help when people are in danger, regardless of whether they have paid. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Model Walks Into Propeller, Loses Hand" [12/07/11] " A young blogger and model returning from an aerial Christmas-lights tour walked into the small plane's propeller, which severely slashed her face, arm, and hand. Lauren Scruggs' left hand was amputated at a local Dallas hospital, and the 23-year-old model has undergone several other surgeries since the accident. Scruggs appears to be responding to voice commands, but doctor aren't yet sure of the possible extent of brain damage, reports ABC News. It's unclear how the accident occurred. The FAA is investigating.  [...]"  

MSM: "FAA Chief To Step Down Following Drunken Driving Arrest" [12/07/11] "FAA administrator Randy Babbitt resigned Tuesday as head of the Federal Aviation Administration following his arrest over the weekend on charges of drunken driving. Babbitt was about halfway through a five-year term. Deputy FAA Administrator Michael Huerta will serve as acting administrator. Industry officials and lawmakers said they expect Huerta to continue in the post through next year since the White House probably will want to avoid a possible nomination fight before the presidential election. [...]"  

MSM: "Mom Shoots Kids In Welfare Office After Being Denied Food Stamps" [12/07/11] "A Texas woman who for months was unable to qualify for food stamps pulled a gun in a state welfare office and staged a seven-hour standoff with police that ended with her shooting her two children before killing herself, officials said Tuesday. The children, a 10-year-old boy and a 12-year-old girl, remained in critical condition Tuesday. The shooting took place at a Texas Department of Health and Human Services building in Laredo, where police said about 25 people were inside at the time. [...]"  Note: Rick Perry country. "Rick Perry Blasts Gay "Lifestyle" Note: Is fascism a life style, Rick?

UK: "German 'Bank Robber' Tries Holding Up A Branch That Closed 17 Years Ago... With A Toy Gun" [12/06/11]   "A man who tried to hold up a bank that had been closed for years has been jailed by a court in Germany. The man tried to hold up the branch in the northwestern town of Walchum in May with a toy gun and robbed a passer-by. But the branch moved years ago, with only cash machines left. After first demanding a 10,000 euro (£8,600) ransom for the woman, he forced her to withdraw 400 euros and fled. The Bild newspaper branded the man "Germany's stupidest bank robber". The 57-year-old got a seven-year jail sentence for the robbery. The building had been converted into a physiotherapist's practice after the bank had moved out. The man escaped in a stolen car which he then abandoned, but left the toy gun between the seats with his fingerprints on it, AFP reports. The court heard that the man had confessed to the crime and that he was a serial offender, having 22 previous convictions. His criminal past was taken into account in his sentencing, along with the fact that the woman he had robbed was still suffering health problems as a result, the court said.  [...]"  

MSM: "Couple Arrested By Police For Not Tipping Waitress" [12/06/11] [2:50] Note:  "Mandatory" gratuity is an oxymoron.

MSM: "Robbing Ultimate Fighting Expert Proves To Be Bad Decision" [12/06/11] "Chicago: Robbing a man who turned out to be an ultimate fighter proved to be a bad decision for a convicted felon, who is now in bad shape as he is held on bond. Police say around 11:30 p.m. Friday, Anthony Miranda, 24, walked up to a car parked at 55th Street and Kenneth Avenue, just a few blocks from Midway International Airport. Miranda asked the driver for a lighter, and the driver said he didn’t have one. Then Miranda pulled a handgun and demanded that the driver hand over his money, police said. Even after the driver complied and gave up some money, Miranda ordered him out of his car, police said. At some point, Miranda’s attention was diverted and the victim was able to grab control of the gun and the two wrestled. [...] During the fight, Miranda accidentally discharged his own gun, shooting himself in the ankle, police said. The victim — who told police he is a martial arts expert and ultimate fighter — was able to pin Miranda down until police arrived. Police arrived to find Miranda with a face full of lacerations and two black eyes. He was taken to Holy Cross Hospital for treatment, police said. Miranda, a convicted felon, is charged with armed robbery and aggravated discharge of a firearm, a Class X felony." 

MSM: "Flesh-Eating Banana” Fears Hit Mozambique" [12/04/11] "Rumours of flesh-eating bananas in Mozambique have sparked a plummet in the sale of the fruit, prompting the health minister Friday to reassure people of its safety. "From the work conducted by the Ministries of Agriculture, Health and Trade and Industry, it was concluded that there is no record of entry of any infected banana in the country," according to a joint statement. An email and text message hoax warning people against eating bananas for the next three weeks went viral as people feared being infected by necrotising fasciitis, or skin-eating disease.  [...]" 

MSM: "Legless Man Denied Wheelchair" [12/03/11] "A man from Nyköping in eastern Sweden has been denied a power wheelchair despite having had both of his legs amputated as the local health authority remained "uncertain if the impairment was permanent". [...]"  

Explorations: "What a Dog Does When It's Cold" [12/03/11] [0:13]  Note: Very cute.

MSM: "Saudi Council: Allowing Women To Drive "Would Increase Homosexuality" [12/03/11] "Allowing women to drive in Saudi Arabia would mean no more virgins and an increase in homosexuality, according to academics at Saudi Arabia’s highest religious council, Majlis al-Ifta' al-A'ala, it has been reported in the Telegraph. Produced in conjunction with Kamal Subhi, a former professor at the King Fahd University, the study into repealing the ban predicted that there would be no more virgins left in the Arab kingdom in 10 years. Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world which bans women from driving. Saudi Arabia is currently considering a law for women to cover up their eyes if they are deemed too "tempting." [...]"  

UK: "Groom Admits To Wedding Day Arson At Castle" [12/03/11] "A groom has admitted starting a devastating fire at the country house where his wedding reception was held. The blaze caused £6 million worth of damage to the Peckforton Castle Hotel, near Tarporley, Cheshire, and led to almost 200 people, including 11 children, being evacuated. Max Kay, 36, of Waylands Drive, Hunts Cross, Liverpool, pleaded guilty to a charge of arson that was reckless as to whether life was endangered when he appeared at Chester Crown Court. [...]"  

MSM: "Woman's Face Erupts in Flames During Surgery" [12/03/11] "A Florida woman was airlifted to a burn center after her face erupted in flames during surgery. The 29-year-old mom of three was having cysts removed from her head when the accident occurred. Firefighters were called, but the flash fire was out by the time they arrived. It's not clear what caused the blaze, but electricity, heat, and lasers may spark flames in an operating room that are then fed by oxygen and surgical materials. The woman was being treated for burns to her face and neck, and was in stable condition. “I am in shock," her mom told the Crestview News Bulletin. "This is not what happens with a routine outpatient surgery." She said her daughter told her: "They woke me up and everyone around me was hysterical."  [...]" 

UK: "Ambulance Calls For Man Four Years After His Death" [12/02/11] "An investigation has been launched after an ambulance called at a widow's home to pick up her husband for a hospital appointment nearly four years after his death. Denise Keeley, 65, from Newark, Nottinghamshire, said she was disgusted when the ambulance arrived at her door to collect her husband George for a podiatry appointment at Newark Hospital. Mr Keeley, an engineer, died from lung cancer in February 2008 aged 72. [...] A spokeswoman from the surgery confirmed that they had booked an ambulance two weeks in advance, but for a different patient at a different address. They have apologised to Mrs Keeley and confirmed they have no records of her nor her husband."  Note: Stupid sequentials.

Africa: "Man Collapses After Hired Prostitute Turns Out To Be Daughter" [12/01/11] "A man who ordered a prostitute to his hotel room collapsed when his daughter turned up at the door. Titus Ncube from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, said the shock of seeing his 20-year-old daughter sent him to the ground. The unnamed woman reportedly fled the building. Ncube said his daughter was no longer working as a prostitute and was planning to return to school.  On hearing the news, his wife said: “If it were not for my children, I could have divorced him a long time ago.” [...]"  

MSM: "3 Facing Prison Time In $1M Toilet Paper Scam" [11/28/11] "A South Florida trio is facing up to two decades in prison after they were allegedly involved in a $1 million toilet paper scam in Palm Beach County. Federal prosecutors said the three conned elderly customers into buying unnecessary septic products, in some cases more than 70 years worth of toilet paper, CBS4 news partner The Miami Herald reported. According to the Herald, the three worked for FBK Products of West Palm Beach. They told more than a dozen of their victims that they needed the company’s special toilet paper to avoid ruining their septic tanks. They told their victims that the federal government changed regulations on toilet paper, the Herald reported. The federal government, though, does not regulate septic tank products. [...]"  

MSM: "County Sued Over Deaf Man Held 25 Days" [11/28/11] "A lawsuit claims  Adams County, Colorado ' authorities' detained a deaf man for 25 days in jail without providing a sign-language interpreter before domestic assault charges were eventually dropped.  Timothy Siaki’s lawsuit filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court seeks unspecified damages and a finding that Adams County officials violated the Americans With Disabilities Act over his May 14, 2010, arrest and detention. The Denver Post reports Siaki doesn’t read or write English or read lips, but he does communicate through American Sign Language. Deputies arrested Siaki after a noise complaint at a motel where Siaki and his fiancDee were verbalizing sounds while arguing. Deputies responding to the complaint knocked down the motel-room door and tackled Siaki after he failed to respond to their commands. [...]"  

MSM: "Pakistani Woman Kills, Attempts To Cook Husband" [11/27/11] "Pakistani police on Thursday arrested a woman who had killed her husband and was attempting to cook his body parts after he planned to marry another woman without her permission. The police arrested Zainab Bibi, 32, and her nephew Zaheer, 22, in the Shah Faisal colony of Pakistan’s southern megacity Karachi, and recovered the bowl of flesh she planned to cook, said police chief for the area Nadeem Baig. “They killed Ahmed Abbas, Zainab’s husband, and chopped his body into pieces and were about to cook the flesh in a bowl,” he told AFP, adding that the knife with which they killed the man had been recovered. According to family law in the Islamic country, a man has to get permission from his first wife before his second marriage, but the law is rarely observed. [...]"  Note: Where's all that curry when you really need it?

Black Friday - Let The Games Begin, Uh, Continue: "Pepper Spraying Each Other for Video Games at Wal-Mart" [11/26/11] "This article has it all. Imagine you are in a Wal*Mart on Thanksgiving. It's 9:55 pm, and the store is set to reduce prices dramatically at ten. There's a pallet on the floor in the video game section, covered in shrink-wrap. It has new consoles for the Wii and XBox. Customers become impatient and start pushing toward the pallet. People are getting forced on top of it. Shoving and screaming ensues. Someone begins ripping and tearing at the shrink-wrap. Others push over the shelves holding video games, strewing them across the floor where they are immediately trampled. Then, a woman reaches into her purse and grabs some pepper spray, She unleashes it on the dense crowd. The Oleoresin Capsicum wafts through the store, ripping into people's throats and irritating their skin. The faces of the closest victims swell up grotesquely. And then? Shopping resumes as normal. [...]"  Note: Corporate Media Again Programs People Raised By Wolves To Battle Over Material Objects For Fun and Profit Related: "Competitive Shopping' Turns Into Chaos"  | "Girls Punching Each Other' Over Yoga Pants Sale at Victoria's Secret..."  | "Mayhem over $2 waffle maker"  |"Woman Shot, Robbed In SC After Midnight Shopping Trip To Walmart"  |"NC Police Use Pepper Spray To Break Up Melee"  |"Grandfather Smashed To Ground As He Tried To Protect Grandson From Crowd"  |"Gunfire Erupts At Mall"  You get the idea .... same kind of people as last year, or their descendants.

RT America:  "Cops Bust Open Face Of Black Friday Grandpa" [11/26/11]   [2:36] "Newman was shopping at a Wal-Mart store in Buckeye, Arizona late Thursday night along with thousands of other Americans who congregate to celebrate consumerism in a post-holiday bargain hunting binge called Black Friday. Newman says he became overwhelmed by the crowds at the Wal-Mart he was shopping at, so he attempted to lift his grandkid into the air to avoid a mob of violent shoppers. To free his hands, Newman says he placed a video game into his waistband and tried to launch the youngster out of the crowd. Police suspected the man of shoplifting, however, and took him down. Hard. [...]"  

MSM: "Students No Longer Need To Give Professor Snacks" [11/25/11] "A California university professor can no longer demand snacks from students taking his psychology classes. Sacramento State professor George Parrott has demanded snacks from his students for 39 years. Students were told of the snack demand on the first day of class. But two weeks ago he walked out of his Psychology 101 lab class because there were no snacks. University spokeswoman Kimberly Nava says members of the psychology department at California State University, Sacramento decided Parrott's decision to walk out of class was unacceptable and the dean told him to stop. [...]" 

UK: "Strange Firefighting Stories" [11/25/11] "London fire brigade releases data detailing unusual call-outs, and asks public 'to think carefully before dialling 999'. Dave Brown, the brigade's assistant commissioner for operations and mobilising, said: "You wouldn't believe some of the incidents we're called to deal with – people manage to get themselves trapped in some very weird and wonderful places – but there is a serious side to this. "These incidents are time-consuming, costly and take up the precious time of our crews who are then unavailable to attend other, potentially life-threatening, emergencies. [...]"  

MSM: "Case Dropped Against Ohio Man Seen With Rubber Ax" [11/25/11] "Akron law enforcement no longer has an ax to grind against horror artist Bill Morrison. On Monday, city prosecutors fell on their sword, dismissing their criminal case and burying the hatchet with Morrison, who was arrested and jailed in October on a charge of inducing panic. His crime: scaring a woman who saw him carrying a Halloween prop ax into an Akron bar. Since being questioned about the case by the Beacon Journal, city Prosecutor Doug Powley said he reviewed the facts and the law and determined the “situation did not warrant a criminal conviction.” He filed papers Monday afternoon dismissing the case in Akron Municipal Court. [...] Morrison was arrested Oct. 16 outside Corky’s Thomastown bar near South Arlington Street and Triplett Boulevard after a woman saw him carrying a “bloody ax” into the bar. She called 911 and told a dispatcher that a man with long, brown hair and wearing a dark green trench coat just entered the bar with “a full, long ax.” Two Akron patrolmen responded and found Morrison and his ax. While the ax looked real, with a wooden handle and silver head, Morrison, a locally famous Halloween makeup and special-effects artist, showed the officers it was a prop, with fake blood and a rubber blade. Despite the explanation, the officers charged, handcuffed and took Morrison to jail on a charge of inducing panic, a misdemeanor. At first, he thought it was a joke. “I just couldn’t believe it. I just kept saying to myself in the back of the paddy wagon, ‘This isn’t right. This isn’t right,’” he said. “I just figured they’d give the ax back and I’d be on my way.[...] " 

MSM: "Russian Anchor Off Air For Finger Gesture In Obama Story" [11/25/11] "Tatiana Limanova, an award-winning journalist and host of a news show on the REN-TV private channel, waved her middle finger when presenting a story about the APEC summit in the United States, a moment after mentioning Obama. The video went viral on the internet, with many viewers speculating the gesture had been meant to insult the U.S. president, who met his Russian counterpart Dmitry Medvedev on the sidelines of the summit. "The gesture was addressed to the members of the editing crew, there was no implication of any kind and it had no reference to the information delivered by Tatiana Limanova," a spokesman for the TV station told Interfax. Limanova thought she was reading the news off-screen by the time she raised a finger, the spokesman said. There were no details on how Limanova's duties would change after the incident. [...]"  

MSM: "Greyhound Bus Driver Leaves Passengers Stranded" [11/25/11] "Greyhound bus company is conducting an investigation after a bus driver left 45 passengers stranded for about eight hours in the middle of the night at a gas station in the state of Missouri. "It was certainly unprecedented and absolutely inexcusable," said company spokeswoman Maureen Richard, adding that the unidentified female driver, who is based in Memphis, Tennessee, was cooperating with officials. The woman was driving a route on Friday from Memphis to St. Louis, which is normally a six-hour trip. But she left the bus 150 miles from her destination, turning the journey into a roughly 16-hour ordeal for passengers. The trouble began near Sikeston, Missouri when the driver put an unruly passenger off the bus. The driver then took the bus east to Charleston, Missouri where she abandoned it on Friday evening. A Greyhound replacement driver didn't get to the bus until about eight hours after the driver walked off, the company said. Greyhound was offering full refunds, Richmond said. [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Groom & Doom After Wedding" [11/23/11] "A Bronx groom hurled himself into the Harlem River over the weekend — just hours after exchanging marriage vows with his longtime love. Fernando Brazier, 28, took the fatal leap after leaving a suicide note for his bride, Trudian Hay, at the front desk of the Radisson Hotel in New Rochelle, where the couple and family members spent the night after celebrating their wedding. “He said [in the note] he couldn’t take it anymore, and to take care of the kids,” Brazier’s sister, Shawna Weeks, told The Post. “He left his ring in the envelope.” Police sources said Brazier’s note told Hay that he could be found at the bottom of the river, not far from a Pathmark supermarket and Dyckman Street on the Manhattan side.  [...]" 

Legal Case: "Mummified Patient Can Take Paramedics to Trial" [11/22/11] "Paramedics may be liable for forcibly hospitalizing a man who refused medical attention, a federal judge ruled, recounting an undisputed record showing emergency responders put their patient in a headlock, rammed his head 20 times into an ambulance wall and taped him up "like a mummy." Howard Travis had just undergone neck surgery at a hospital in June 2008, when he went to a grocery store on the South Side of Chicago. Feeling faint and sweating profusely, Travis sat on a store display and attracted the attention of a store manager who called 911. Once paramedics Eileen Keiper-Knapp and Todd Czarnecki arrived on the scene, however, Travis said there was nothing wrong with him and that he did not need help. Nevertheless, the paramedics picked him up by his arms and legs and forced him into the ambulance. Many of the facts of the case are undisputed, according to the court. Travis screamed at the paramedics to let him out, whereupon one of the paramedics choked him, put him in a headlock and rammed his head into the wall of the ambulance 20 times. On the way to the hospital, Czarnecki stopped the ambulance near a fire station as Keiper-Knapp claimed Travis was punching her. Travis was ultimately acquitted on charges that he criminally assaulted Keiper-Knapp. He says he never touched her and "has no idea" how she was injured. When Travis tried to get out of the ambulance, a paramedic twisted his arm and said, "I'll break this mother fucker if you don't stop." The paramedics forced Travis onto a stretcher and taped him down, using so much tape he "looked like a mummy." Then one of them beat Travis' face and punched him in the stomach. When the ambulance got to the hospital, a firefighter handcuffed Travis to the bed, and staff took blood against his will. Travis reiterated that there was nothing wrong with him and that he wanted to go home. After Travis sued the two paramedics and the city of Chicago for violating his constitutional rights, the defendants moved for summary judgment on his claims for excessive force and conspiracy. U.S. District Judge Virginia Kendall ruled last week that both allegations should go to trial. [...]"  

MSM: "Virginia Woman Faces 50 Years Behind Bars For Decapitating Piglet" [11/22/11] "Portsmouth woman faces up to 50 years in prison after pleading guilty to beheading her boyfriend’s piglet. According to court documents, Ashley Fowler, 22, was breaking up with the piglet’s owner Zach Sawyer and wanted to play a prank first. Sawyer’s mother told the Virginian-Pilot last year that the piglet’s head freaked her out when she let her puppy outside early one morning last February and saw it staring back at her. [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves.

Date With Destiny: "15 Eunuchs Killed In Fire At Ceremony In India" [11/22/11] "It was to be a rare moment of camaraderie and celebration for India's marginalized eunuchs. Thousands had traveled to New Delhi to participate in a ceremony to honor deceased friends and to pray for the health of all children. Then a fire erupted in a huge makeshift tent Sunday night. Panic broke out and 15 eunuchs were killed and 36 others were injured, fire officials said. The fire was likely caused by an electrical short, fire officials and witnesses said. [...]"  Note: I guess they didn't have the balls to get out in time.

Commentary: "Top Ten List Of What Not To Do In Divorce Court " [11/22/11] "Getting ready for trial in a divorce or child custody case can be a stressful time as litigants and litigators attempt to condense the details and documents of a relationship into the hours or days of a trial. If you're represented by counsel, it is your attorney's job to prepare you for trial and to deliver a concise and convincing presentation of your case to the court. That said, since judicial determinations are often based upon the behavior a party exhibited in the courtroom rather than the exhibits they offered into evidence, please consider the following helpful hints for your day in divorce or custody court: [...]"  

MSM: "That Was One Strange Job ..." [11/21/11] "A young woman fresh out of college claims a staffing firm fired her for resisting its policies, which included taking and sharing semi-nude photos of her, mandatory "training sessions" with offensive sexual contact, and forcing her to record her bowel movements and her "reading and affirming patterns." [...] She seeks punitive damages and costs for assault and battery, false imprisonment, fraud, conspiracy, privacy invasion, and intentional infliction of emotional distress." 

Date With Destiny: "79-Year-Old Miami Man, Dies After Accidentally Receiving Execution Drug " [11/20/11] "The family of a deceased Florida man is suing a Miami hospital, claiming a mixup in which he was given a medication used in executions led to his death. Richard Smith, 79, was admitted to North Shore Hospital on July 30, 2010, with shortness of breath and stomach trouble. Smith's son, Marc, told WSVN-TV that when he arrived at the hospital, a doctor informed him that his father had gone into respiratory arrest after receiving the wrong medication. The Smith family claims the nurse administered Pancuronium, a muscle relaxant, instead of the antacid Pepcid. The Daily Mail reports that Pancuronium is one of three drugs used in executions in many states, though it is also used in the operating room. Smith was resuscitated, but eventually died a month later, according to the Miami New Times. The nurse who allegedly administered the drug into Smith's IV tube, identified by the Daily Mail as Uvo Ologboride, is still working with patients, despite an investigation into the incident.  [...]"  

Natural World: "Lovely Owl: Cute/Ridiculous Animal Thing Of The Day" [11/20/11] [1:47] Note: Better than the video of a goldfish in liquid nitrogen, anyway. "For everyone that is worried about the goldfish, it survived and was perfectly fine until we fed him and a few of his friends to our turtles." 

MSM: "Police: 2 Georgia Caregivers Waterboard 89-Year-Old Woman Over Ice Cream" [11/20/11] " Police charge two caregivers at a Jonesboro facility with waterboarding an 89-year-old woman. Clayton County police said Jermeller Steed and Cicely Reed held down Anna Foley after an argument that started over ice cream. They’re said to have allegedly held down Foley in a locked shower room, flooding her face with the hand-hold shower nozzle in 2008.  According to WGCL-TV, Foley was undergoing treatment at the facility for dementia. A co-worker witnessed the event and blew the whistle. The technique slowly drowns subjects by blocking the air passages with flowing water while the subject is immobilized. The Obama administration banned waterboarding suspected terrorists in January 2009, classifying it as torture. Neither Steed nor Reed currently work at the elderly care facility. [...]"  

MSM: "Accused Florida 'Butt Injector' Appears To Have Tried Her Own Product" [11/20/11] "Investigators allege that Oneal Ron Morris, 30, used a mixture of cement, super glue, mineral oil, and “Fix-a-Flat” sealant to enhance one client’s rear end. [...]"  Note: I have no words.... the 'bowling pin' look is just so passé.

Canada: "Teens Dress As Batman To Catch Pedophiles; Cops Not Impressed" [11/19/11] "A vigilante trio of teenagers dressed up in superhero costumes have had their form of justice shut down by the RCMP after they set up sting operations to catch men wanting to have sex with teenage girls. The teenagers — dressed as Batman and the Flash — posted videos of their confrontations with men arriving at rendezvous points arranged after they posed as 15-year-old girls online. Using fake pictures they got from the Internet and going on the dating website Plenty of Fish, the teenagers started online conversations, pretended they were teenage girls and arranged to meet the men in public places like a parking lot or a restaurant. The teens then confronted the men and accused them of being pedophiles while filming the encounter. The videos were later posted on YouTube under the header “To Troll a Predator.” “You Plenty of Fish?” asked the masked Batman character in one of the videos taken at night during a confrontation with one man. [...]"  

MSM:  "Stephen Hawking: Colonization Of Outer Space Key To Human Survival" [11/19/11] "Stephen Hawking says the colonization of outer space is key to the survival of humankind, predicting it will be difficult for the world's inhabitants "to avoid disaster in the next hundred years." [...]"  Note: There is SO MUCH that Hawking seems to be oblivious to. The cultural space program is virtually dead, society is crumbling to pieces, etc. It may be logical and reasonable, but clearly it would NEVER EVER happen on here on this planet. 

MSM: "Tennessee Man, 37, Arrested For Assaulting His Mother With A Ham" [11/18/11] "A Tennessee man is facing a domestic assault charge after he allegedly struck his mother with a ham during an argument Tuesday afternoon in their home. Emanuel Cordell Kennedy, 37, was collared after his mother told cops that she was hit in the back with the thrown ham as she was walking down the hall, according to a Union City Police Department report excerpted here. In an interview with police, Kennedy claimed that he did not intend to hit his mother, 55-year-old Brenda King, with the tossed ham. King apparently was not injured by the pink missile, the size of which was not detailed by investigators. [...]" 

MSM: "Early Morning McDonald’s Menu Changeover Prompted Wisconsin Woman's Meltdown " [11/18/11] "When Shanaya Edgell arrived early yesterday morning at a McDonald’s in Janesville, Wisconsin, she was expecting to order from the fast food joint’s regular menu--Big Macs, french fries, Chicken McNuggets, and the like. Except it was around 3 AM and the restaurant had already switched over to its breakfast menu--hash browns, Egg McMuffins, hotcakes, and the like. This enraged Edgell, according to Janesville Police Department officers, since she wanted a cheeseburger. The 22-year-old--for some unexplained reason--turned on her boyfriend, biting him on the arm and tearing off his shirt. Darrell Page, 40, explained to a cop that Edgell “wanted a burger from McDonald’s,” so they drove to the restaurant--only to discover at the drive-thru window that the eatery “had stopped serving hamburgers and was now only serving breakfast.” Edgell, he added, “got upset because she did not want breakfast and only wanted a cheeseburger.” (That was just the beginning) [...]"  

MSM: "Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report" [11/18/11] "Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn. [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves.

MSM: "Man Finds $500,000 In Gold And Silver After Purchasing Abandoned Storage Unit At Auction" [11/17/11] "For those who haven’t caught Storage Wars on A&E, the premise of the reality show involves people bidding on abandoned storage units at auction in the hopes of discovering high dollar items after the renters of the units have defaulted on their monthly payments. American Auctioneers is the company featured in the show. At a recent AA auction, a man identified only as John, purchased an abandoned unit for $1000 in the hopes of recouping his investment and finding some treasure and turning a profit. It turns out that John hit it big, as the original owner of the contents of the storage unit apparently didn’t trust traditional security storage methods like bank safe deposit boxes, opting instead to hide his (or her) precious metals at a storage facility typical of any American city. Unfortunately, no cameras were present for the auction or to capture John when he found what amounted to a gold mine in a blue Rubbermaid container. According to reports, the container held about 16 gold Spanish coins, silver Spanish dollars, and several gold and silver bars. The estimated value of the find is around $500,000. [...]"  

MSM: "Lebanon: Politicians Throw Chairs At Each Other In Heated Debate" [11/16/11] [1:33] "Two prominent Lebanese politicians debating the unrest in neighboring Syria have exchanged blows on live television, in an indication of the deep divide between Lebanese factions over their relationship with Damascus. Pro and anti-Syrian regime demonstrations are common in Lebanon, whose politics have long been heavily influenced by Damascus, now facing increasing isolation over its bloody crackdown on protestors. The fight late Monday night broke out in a debate between anti-Syrian former legislator Mustafa Alloush and the head of the Lebanese branch of Syria's ruling Baath party Fayez Shukur. According to AFP, the two clashed over Syrian President Bashar Assad's credibility: [...]"  

MSM: "Man Allegedly Kills, Skins And Eats Bobcat While High On Meth" [11/16/11] "A Morgan Hill man has been charged with killing a bobcat -- before skinning and eating it -- while high on methamphetamine. "They [deputies] talked to the person who was on the property and they wondered why the carcass was there," explained Santa Clara County Deputy District Attorney Steve Lowney to NBC Bay Area. "What they found out was that, apparently the bobcat had eaten five of the roosters a day or two prior, and that the person had taken a .22 caliber rifle and shot the bobcat, and then ate the bobcat and hung it on a fence." Arnibal is facing a number of misdemeanors surrounding the incident, including charges for drug possession, carrying cockfighting gaffs and killing a bobcat. He is not, however, facing any charges for eating it.  [...]"  Note: Raised by wolves.

Canada: "Bus Driver Fired After Losing It On 'Mildly Autistic' Passenger" [11/15/11] "OC Transpo has fired the driver who was seen yelling and swearing at a passenger on a YouTube video, according to a memo released to City of Ottawa councillors and staff. The driver's tirade was caught by another passenger on the No. 96 bus heading towards Kanata, as 20-year-old Matthew Taronno, who described himself as "mildly autistic," stood at the front of the bus. Taronno said he wanted to apologize for reading a script he wrote that contained some "inappropriate language" aboard the bus. The driver, 56, was in no mood to hear it, Taronno told CBC News. Transit management told staff in the memo it completed the investigation of the incident, which has resulted in the driver being fired. [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "UK: Metal Thief" Fights For Life After Blast At Electricity Sub-Station" [11/13/11] "A man is in critical condition after being electrocuted as he tried to steal metal from an electricity substation. The victim was admitted to Birmingham's City Hospital shortly after an explosion at a substation in nearby Oldbury, West Midlands, at 3.15am yesterday. The blast, on the Granada Industrial Estate, disrupted local power supplies. It is thought to have happened after significant quantities of metal, including copper wiring, had been cut from the substation. The injured man is thought to have been rushed to hospital in a private vehicle. Police have appealed to the driver and anyone with information to come forward. [...]"  

MSM: "Girl, 10, Attacked Teacher Over Candy Seizure" [11/13/11] "A 10-year-old Florida girl is facing a felony charge for allegedly attacking her elementary school teacher and threatening the educator’s life. The assault, police report, was triggered when the teacher seized a bag of Halloween candy that the girl brought to class. According to a sheriff’s report, teacher Kelly Sanchez told investigators that she was holding the candy until the end of the day. At one point, Sanchez said, the girl “went behind her desk and took the bag of candy without her permission.” The child then began throwing pieces of candy at classmates, added Sanchez[...]"  Note: Minionesque behavior.

Quirky Signs Out And About: "Zoo Afterthought: Excuse Us As We Reshape History" [11/13/11] Related: "Control Freaks Chronic Indecision" | "Gender Conundrums" | "Railroad Engineers Trained By Wolves" | "Can’t I Get Half An Hour?" | "Control Freaks Chronic Indecision 2"  | "Control Freaks Chronic Indecision 3" | "It’s What Christians Do Best" | "Dark After Sunset" | "Y'all Come In" | "Zoo Notice" | "I Really Really Want To Be Aware" | "Private Environment" | "Twilight Zone"    

MSM: "9th Foot Washes Up in BC" [11/12/11] "Another foot missing its owner has washed ashore in southwestern British Columbia—the ninth such grim discovery in the last four years. Unlike the others, this one, found by a group of teens, was in freshwater and was in a hiking boot, not a running shoe, CBC reports. Investigators believe the foot separated naturally from the rest of the body and had probably been submerged for at least a decade. Six of the feet found previously have been identified. The foot finds may be unsettling, but they're simply the result of changes in footwear, the local coroner insists. "As shoes become more buoyant, that's the only source of remains that we're likely to find in many water-related cases," he tells the Coquitlam Now, though he doesn't explain why the bodies are there to begin with. "Then it's a case of the body just breaking down. Whatever is buoyant or encased in something buoyant—like these running shoes or hikers—will come back to the surface." [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "UK Manager Plunges To His Death At HQ 'After Hearing Of Redundancy" [11/11/11] "A senior manager plunged to his death from the top floor of Transport for London's new headquarters in front of horrified colleagues. Jack Shemtob, 53, was seen falling six storeys and landing in the lobby of TfL's offices in Greenwich. Several security guards who saw his fall in the atrium were granted leave after being left traumatised. A source claimed that the married father of two, a TfL employee for about 30 years, fell soon after human resources told him he was losing his job as part of the company's cost- cutting programme.  [...]" 

Path Experiences: "Samaritan, Does A Good Deed, Life Saved Moments Later" [11/08/11] "A Canadian man who had just helped a motorist change a tire in western Wisconsin had his good deed quickly repaid when, just minutes later, that same motorist helped to save his life. According to the Wisconsin State Patrol, Victor Giesbrecht, of Winnipeg, was driving Saturday evening on Interstate 94, about 15 kilometres east of Menomonie, when he stopped to help a motorist change a tire. Patrol Sgt. Michael Newton said that after driving off, Mr. Giesbrecht was stricken by a heart attack within a few kilometres. His wife, Ann, helped bring their pickup truck to a stop, called 911 and waved her arms for help. At about the same time, the motorists they had just helped pulled up. The Star Tribune reported Monday that one of them, Lisa Meier, of Eau Claire, performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation on him until emergency personnel arrived. A state trooper and two Dunn County deputies took over and used an automated external defibrillator, or AED, to help Mr. Giesbrecht regain a pulse and resume breathing. Sgt. Newton said if Mr. Giesbrecht hadn't helped with the tire change, his initial rescuer may have remained stranded for too long to play a life-saving role. “If he had been a few more miles down the road and had his heart attack, it could have been a different outcome,” Sgt. Newton said. “It's an interesting turn of fate.” [...]"  

MSM: "Sandwich Arrest Stirs Debate Over Eating In Stores" [11/05/11] "It happens daily in supermarket and convenience stores nationwide - digging into a bag of chips while waiting in line, sampling a couple of grapes in the produce section, opening a bottle of milk to appease a crying child. The highly-publicized story of a pregnant Honolulu mom who was arrested last week with her husband after she ate a sandwich in a Safeway store and forgot to pay, leading to the couple's 2-year-old daughter being taken away by Child Welfare Services, has sparked a national debate on the issue. It also raised the question: Is it OK to consume food and beverages in the store before paying? The woman in Hawaii who ate the sandwich has no problem with it. I didn't know it was such a taboo thing," said Nicole Leszczynski who was charged with fourth-degree theft, a petty misdemeanor, along with her husband, Marcin. The charges have since been dropped by Safeway. "Where I grew up in a small town it's not seen as stealing for sure." [...]"  

MSM: "Florida Domino's Employees Burned Down Rival Papa John's Store" [11/02/11] [3:06] "The battle for pizza supremacy has taken a wrong turn in Florida. Two managers of a Domino's Pizza restaurant in Lake City, in north-central Florida, have been charged with burning down a rival Papa John's location. The motive? Police say one of the men admitted that he believed with his competitor out of the way, more pizza lovers would flock to his restaurant. [...]" 

MSM: "Identity Theft Case Reveals Over 300,000 Identities" [11/02/11] "A Southern California man was convicted of identity theft after authorities discovered he had obtained more than 300,000 personal profiles. While not the most authorities have seen, it's a large cache of personal information, said Assistant U.S. Attorney Andrew Brown. Robert Delgado Jr., 40, of Monterey Park was sentenced last week to eight years in prison and five years of supervised release for identify theft after authorities found an external hard drive containing individual profiles that included names, addresses, dates of birth and Social Security numbers.The hard drive also contained computer images that could potentially be used to forge credit cards and driver's licenses. Before he was caught, Delgado accessed the accounts of at least 77 people, according to the sentencing document. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man Dies Trying To Remove His Own Pacemaker" [11/02/11] "A Chicago man has died after authorities say he cut his chest to try to remove his pacemaker. The Cook County medical examiner says 47-year-old Channing Askew died Monday night at a Chicago hospital. The Chicago Tribune reports that a doctor told police that Askew apparently had tried to remove his pacemaker himself. Police say paramedics were called to a group home where Askew lived when he complained of chest pain. [...]"   

MSM: "Man Shoots Neighbor For 'Telepathically Threatening' Him" [11/02/11] "A Utah man shot and severely wounded a neighbor who he believed had been "telepathically threatening" him and his wife, according to police. Michael Selleneit, 53, is accused of opening fire on Tony Pierce at around 4:55 p.m. on Oct. 30 in their Centerville trailer park, hitting the 41-year-old victim in the back and the leg. "It was totally unprovoked. The victim was working in his yard with his back to the shooter," Lt. Paul Child, of the Centerville Police Department, told Fox 13. "There was no argument or anything that precipitated this particular event." [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Steve Jobs’ Eulogy Reveals Last Words" [11/01/11] "Writer Mona Simpson’s eulogy for her brother Steve Jobs is getting a lot of attention. NBC’s Brian Williams reports. (Nightly News) [...]"  Note: Jobs, who once memorably described death as "very likely the single best invention of life", departed this world with a lingering look at his family and the simple, if mysterious, observation: "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."

MSM: "Sinkhole Swallows Man, 80, As He Goes for Morning Newspaper" [11/01/11] "An 80-year-old man who went out to get his morning newspaper fell into an 8-foot sinkhole that opened up in his Long Island lawn. Michael Ciron was not seriously injured in his Sunday morning ordeal, and even boasted that he managed to hang onto the papers, according to Newsday. He yelled for his daughter, who woke up and came to his aid by calling police and firefighters to the Oceanside home. Ciron, who was wearing slippers, found himself stuck in wet, shifting sand. "It was scary down there," he told Newsday. [...]" 

MSM: "Burglar Uses His Birthday As Excuse to Not Call Cops" [11/01/11] "A burglar caught rummaging through a car pleaded with the victim not tell to authorities because it was his birthday and his mother was going to be in town, the Broward Sheriff's Office said Monday. [...]"  

MSM: "Man Reports Date As Burglar When Girlfriend Shows" [10/31/11]   "Colorado Springs police say a man's girlfriend unexpectedly came home just before another woman was due to visit, so he called police to report his new acquaintance as a burglar. Police say Gaylor had invited a woman he met online to come to his home after 3 a.m. Wednesday so they could get better acquainted, but his girlfriend came home first. Police say that when the other woman arrived, Gaylor called police and falsely reported an intrusion. 24-year-old Kevin Gaylor was cited with a misdemeanor of false reporting to authorities. [...]"  

Concepts and Practices: "Girl With Digestive Disease Denied Communion" [10/31/11] "An 8-year-old girl who suffers from a serious digestive disorder and cannot eat wheat has had her first Holy Communion declared invalid because the wafer contained no wheat, violating Roman Catholic doctrine. [...]"  Note: Belief systems and 'fences' run amok.

Date With Destiny: "Girl, 17, In Critical Condition After Getting Tangled In Noose At Haunted House" [10/31/11] "A 17-year-old girl is in a critical condition after she became tangled in a noose at a Halloween haunted house. Police said the girl, who was working as an actress at the attraction in St Louis, Missouri, was found unconscious with the prop around her neck. The girl is thought to have fallen off a bathtub at Creepyworld where she had been working for two weeks.  It is thought that members of the public may have walked past her thinking she was a scary prop. She was discovered by a colleague who was checking on the safety of employees at around 8:30pm last night. Captain Ron Arnhart of the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office said: 'We noticed a bathtub was there. It appears as though the individual stood up on the sides of the bathtub and for whatever reason, put their head in this noose. 'It looks like her feet may have slipped,' he told local station KTVI. 'It looks like an unfortunate accident.' A Creepyworld spokesman said: Our only concern is that she's going to be OK. That's all we care about.' The attraction, which employs 100 people, has remained open.[...]" 

UK: "British Man Phones Police After Mistaking Moon For UFO" [10/28/11] [2:43] "Hertfordshire Police have released this audio of a local man who called 999 (the UK's version of 911) after seeing what he believed to be a UFO. Moments later, the man was forced to phone back when it occurred to him that the UFO was in fact the moon. Hertfordshire Police have released a statement saying that they released the video to show how time can be wasted around Halloween with bogus calls. [...]"  

MSM: "Woman, 60, Stabs Boyfriend For Cheating During Monopoly Game" [10/28/11] "... A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police. ... When cops arrived at Chavez’s building, she was sitting under the porch “covered with suspected blood.” Asked if the blood was Smith’s, she answered, “Yes, I fucked him up.” [...]"  Note: And another one raised by wolves ...

MSM: "1,000 California Foster Care Homes Match Sex Offender Addresses" [10/28/11] "It seems that child welfare official failed to compare the addresses even after they were told to do so in 2008. According to the Sacramento Bee, about 600 of the highlighted offenders were considered high risk. The matching addresses involved both foster care facilities and homes, according to the Sacramento Bee. At this point eight licenses have been revoked or suspended, and an additional 36 orders have been issued barring individuals from facilities. [...]" 

UK: "Testicle Bite Woman Facing Jail" [10/26/11] "A mother of four is warned she is facing jail after admitting biting her boyfriend's testicles in a drunken fight on Tyneside. Mr. Douglas was so traumatized by his injuries that emergency services staff struggled to understand him when he dialed 999. [...]"  Note: Another one raised by wolves ...

MSM: "Stockton Homeowner Wants Police To Fix Trashed House" [10/25/11] "The San Jose Police Department stormed into a Stockton home searching for an accused killer, but they left without him, and left behind a complete mess. “I feel like a war was taken on here, and we lost,” homeowner Joann Rice told CBS13. Almost all of the windows are smashed in, there are holes in the wall, and there’s a layer of tear gas in the air so thick breathing it in makes you cough. That is the home Rice came back to after the San Jose police held a fruitless 12-hour search on Saturday for Steve Ruiz, the man accused of killing a Hells Angels member at a funeral. “He wasn’t here, he was never here and he wasn’t in the house,” she said. Rice said her daughter was an acquaintance of Ruiz, nothing more. [...]"  

MSM: "Man In Gorilla Mask And Carrying A Stun Gun Robs Taco Stand" [10/25/11] "A man wearing what appeared to be a gorilla mask and waving a stun gun robbed a taco stand early Monday in the city of La Mesa in eastern San Diego County. Police say the masked man had an accomplice in the robbery at Aliberto's Taco Shop shortly after midnight. One man entered the store and ordered a burrito, police said. While the clerk was busy fixing the burrito, the masked man entered the store and demanded money, police said. After clearing out the cash drawer, the two fled on foot with an undisclosed amount of money. [...]" 

MSM: "Friends Leave Man  Stuck For Nine Hours in Children's Swing" [10/25/11] "A Vallejo man was found in a child's swing Saturday morning after reportedly being stuck for about nine hours, police said. At about 6 a.m., a groundskeeper of Blue Rock Springs Park heard a man screaming when he arrived at work. He then called the police to investigate. Upon arrival, police found a 21-year-old man stuck in a child's swing, which has two leg holes. The man told police that he had been stuck in the swing since 9 p.m. Friday after he allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends. He proceeded to lube himself with laundry detergent to get into the swing, police said. The friends then reportedly left him swinging through the night. Vallejo firefighters then were called to rescue him by cutting the swing chains off. He was then transported to Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center, where firefighters used a cast cutter to cut the swing off his body, firefighters said. [...]" 

Legal Case: "Lawyer Suspended for Slapping in Deposition" [10/25/11] "A South Carolina attorney who slapped a defendant in the face during a deposition was suspended for 30 days by the state Supreme Court. Richard M. Lovelace Jr. had completed a deposition of a client he was representing in a civil lawsuit. Before he deposed the defendant, Lovelace asked if anyone wanted to take a break. According to the Supreme Court opinion, the defendant "said something to the effect of 'No, let's get this crap over with.'" Lovelace stood up and pointed at the defendant's face, warning him not to speak to Lovelace in that way. The defendant then stood up and told Lovelace not to point at him. Lovelace responded by slapping him in the face. The defendant pressed criminal charges, and Lovelace pleaded no contest to assault and battery. He was ordered to pay a fine. Lovelace self-reported the incident to the Office of Disciplinary Counsel on the day it took place. The state Supreme Court suspended Lovelace for 90 days and ordered him to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.  [...]"  

Path Experiences: "B.C. Man Rescued After 10 Days In Wilderness " [10/24/11] "A 45-year-old man who was rescued Sunday morning after spending 10 days in the wilderness of B.C.'s North Shore mountains says he endured hallucinations and frostbite after accidentally veering off a trail and getting stuck in the bush. Michael St. Laurent was found Saturday afternoon in the Hanes Valley on the back side of Grouse Mountain, an area described as having dense bushes and various hiking trails. [...]" 

MSM: "Woman Allegedly Beaten With Frozen Armadillo" [10/22/11] "Dallas police are on the lookout for a man who could face assault charges for throwing a frozen armadillo at a 57-year-old woman near Dallas. The woman, My Fox Dallas-Fort Worth reports, met the man in a parking lot to purchase the armadillo carcass, which she planned to eat. During a fight over its price, he hit her with the animal in the leg and the chest, leaving bruises on her body. According to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, Texas law prohibits the sale of live armadillos, but a few Texans still go after their meat.….Eating armadillos is not widespread in Texas today, although it has been popular among south- of- the-border residents for more than a hundred years. Many Texans, especially during the depression years of the 1930s, dined on the “Hoover Hog,” referring to the armadillo as “poor man’s pork.” [...]"  

MSM: "Rescheduled 'Rapture' Doesn't Happen" [10/22/11] "If you're reading this and the world isn't in the process of being annihilated around you, it means Harold Camping got it wrong again. After his original prediction that the Rapture would arrive May 21 didn't come true, the doomsday prophet decided that he had miscalculated and that Judgment Day would actually arrive on Oct. 21—today. The 90-year-old, who suffered a stroke in May, has kept a lower profile this time around. His followers—some of whom spent their life savings advertising May's apocalypse—have gradually drifted away and his daily radio program has been canceled. A Reuters reporter found him at his California home yesterday, where he answered the door in a bathrobe. "We're not having a conversation," he said with a chuckle. "There's nothing to report here." [...]"  

MSM: "Drunk French Tourists Mistaken For 'Terrorists' In Texas" [10/21/11] "Five drunken French tourists landed in a Texas jail Wednesday after breaking into a county courthouse in the middle of the night and sparking terrorism fears, officials said. Security footage showed the men wearing sombreros and playing around with a judge’s gavel before they were arrested by police, who were tipped off by the courthouse security system at around 1:30 am (0630 GMT). But since they’d left the sombreros behind as they made their way out of the building, the responding officers were worried at first that it could be some kind of terror plot. They called for a security sweep of the building and shut down neighboring streets in downtown San Antonio for several hours. Soon the local media was “breathlessly” reporting that the courthouse had been attacked, Bexar County spokeswoman Laura Jesse told AFP. Reports surfaced that two of the men were on an FBI watch list and that photos of critical infrastructure — water systems and courthouses — were found in their recreational vehicle. But after the security tapes were reviewed and the men questioned, it became pretty clear that the break-in was simply a stupid “prank,” she said. “It’s pretty entertaining at least,” Jesse said. “Usually when you think of someone trying to commit a terrorist attack it’s not with a sombrero and waving a gavel.” [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Chinese Toddler Dies A Week After Being Hit By Cars, Ignored By Passersby" [10/21/11] [2:00] "A 2-year-old Chinese girl -- who was ignored after being hit by two cars last week, later sparking a fierce debate about the state of China's morals -- has died, a nurse at a military hospital said.Video captured by a nearby security camera showed a pair of drivers, one after the other, hitting Yue, in Foshan in Guangdong Province. More than a dozen people walked, cycled or drove past the toddler as she lay bleeding in a busy market. The girl was eventually rescued by a 58-year-old scavenger, who pulled her aside and tried to get help. [...]" 

MSM: "Inside Job: Non-Functioning Submachine Guns, Pistols Stolen From LAPD SWAT Training Site" [10/19/11] "While the weapons had been modified to fire training ammunition, the concern is that they could easily be converted back to fire live rounds. “These guns can’t be used with regular ammunition unless they’re significantly modified back,” said LAPD Commander Andy Smith. [...]"  Note: Turn volume down until brief commercial ends.

MSM: "Mark Your Calendars: End of World Coming Oct. 21, Camping Says" [10/17/11] "The radio preacher who predicted Judgment Day on May 21 has not backed down from his claims that the end of the world is near, despite the lack of a Rapture or world-devastating earthquakes leading up to the doomsday. In an announcement on his Family Radio Network website, Harold Camping stands by his earlier predictions that the world will end on Friday, Oct. 21. Originally, Camping had predicted hourly earthquakes and God's judgment on May 21, to be followed by months of torment on Earth for those individuals left behind. Using numerical codes extracted from the Bible, Camping set the date for the end of everything for Oct. 21. [...]"  Note: Yeah, the end of the civilization is coming, but no one knows precisely when the nested series of events will be. As far as Harold Camping is concerned ... he had a stroke after the first prediction. Will he explode after this one? This reincarnated retread belongs in the 19th century ... suitable for the the film Poltergeist .... walking around dressed in black, proclaiming to everyone, 'you're gonna die!' .... immortality strategies are unnecessary, Harold. Get a grip ... No ..  maybe in your next life on another world ... but first, you have a date with destiny, Harold, to be with wacks like yourself in a little bubble of reality on the astral ... you can be ... chairman of the bored .... good luck with that. I can't wait for the Mockumentary ... only a few days to go.

MSM: "Wall Street Journal Caught Buying Own Papers In Circulation Scam" [10/14/11] "One of Rupert Murdoch’s most senior European executives has resigned following inquiries by the Guardian about a circulation scam at News Corporation’s flagship newspaper, the Wall Street Journal. The Guardian found evidence that the Journal had been channeling money through European companies in order to secretly buy thousands of copies of its own paper at a knock-down rate, misleading readers and advertisers about the Journal’s true circulation. [...]"

MSM: "City Deploys Mimes to Tame Traffic" [10/13/11]   "In Venezuela’s capital, motorcyclists have been known to drive down sidewalks, and cars frequently speed through red lights. So the mayor is dealing with the problem by deploying … mimes. About 120 of them hit the streets last week in an attempt to shame drivers and pedestrians alike into behaving. “Some people get angry when we reprimand them,” one mime told the AP as she put her hands forward to signify “stop,” then pointed to a red light as a motorcyclist approached. The mimes wear brightly colored clown-like outfits and, of course, white gloves. The mayor came up with the idea after a similar plan in Bogota, Colombia, proved to be a success. But Caracas’ streets, where it’s not uncommon to see people driving in reverse or the wrong way through oncoming traffic, may be even more dangerous. “Many times, the mimes can achieve what traffic police cannot achieve using warning and sanctions in their efforts to maintain control,” says the president of a cultural organization. “Mimes, on the contrary, often achieve the same objective by employing artistic and peaceful actions.” [...]" 

Legal Case: "That Was Certainly Unexpected" [10/13/11] "A homeowner claims that after a motorist smashed a car into his house and ran away, gun-toting school district police officers showed up and choked him and broke his collarbone after handcuffing him, ignoring his statements that he lived there. James Page says he "was sitting in the den at his home" at about 5:30 p.m. on Oct. 20, 2009, when he heard "tires screeching, a loud bang," and his son screaming outside. Page says he went outside and saw that a car had smashed into his house, and the driver was fleeing. He chased him but couldn't catch him. Then things got worse. [...]"

Legal Case: "Patient Says Doc Demanded Sex for Drugs" [10/13/11] "A patient claims her psychiatrist demanded oral sex for drugs and had her sleep over at his house, where he choked and punched her in the mouth. She says the doctor referred to the choking as "foreplay". [...]" Note: Someone else raised by wolves.

MSM: "Man Disqualified For Taking Bus During Marathon" [10/13/11] "Rob Sloan boasted he'd completed an "unbelievably tough" marathon near Newcastle after crossing the finish line in third place with a personal-best time. Apparently, he didn't count the bus ride. Sloan dropped out 20 miles into the race, hitched a ride on a spectator shuttle bus and emerged from the woods near the finish line to make the podium. [...]"  

MSM: "Children to be Banned from Blowing Up Balloons, Under EU Safety Rules" [10/11/11]   "Children are to be banned from taking part in traditional holiday games, from blowing up balloons to blowing on party whistles, because of new EU safety rules that have just entered into force. [...]"

Frontiers of Mental Health: "Pastor Promotes "Geezus Ween" As Halloween Alternative" [10/10/11] "Seth Abramovitch was delighted when he ran across GeezusWeen.com, a site encouraging folks to participate in "Geezus Ween," a christian alternative to Halloween, on Oct. 31. "Geezus Ween is not, in fact, a celebration of Geezus's ween," Abramovitch notes on Gawker; even so, the whole thing "seemed just a little too good to be true." Fortunately, he was able to get the founder, Pastor Paul Ade, on the phone. Ade assures Abramovitch that Geezus Ween is in fact real, and he's hoping it will go global. The movement's Facebook page also refers to Geezus Ween as "World Evangelism Day" and predicts that it will be "one of the most effective christian outreach day [sic] ever." Instead of Halloween costumes, Geezus Ween revelers are expected to wear white tops "to symbolize Righteousness." As for what's wrong with Halloween itself, Ade tells Gawker it's "not consistent with the christian faith." [...]"  Note: Right.  

MSM: "German Fashion Designer Makes Clothes From Milk" [10/09/11] "Anke Domaske, 28, has developed a fabric called QMilch made from high concentrations of the milk protein casein -- the first man-made fiber produced entirely without chemicals. "It feels like silk and it doesn't smell -- you can wash it just like anything else," Domaske told Reuters. Made from all natural materials, the QMilch fabric is ecological but also has many health benefits, said Domaske, who also said the amino acids in the protein are antibacterial, anti-aging and can help regulate both blood circulation and body temperature. Milk fabric has been around since the 1930s but was always produced in unecological ways that used a lot of chemicals. Unlike earlier prototypes, QMilch is made almost entirely from casein. the clothes don't come with an expiry date -- during the heating process, the molecules bind in such a way that the protein won't decompose. Due to its anti-bacterial qualities, the milk fiber can also be used in medicine and makeup. Even some auto companies have looked into using the fiber for car upholstery.[...]" 

MSM: "Man Hurt In Hunt For Christmas Wreath Sues In-Laws" [10/09/11] "This Thanksgiving could be a little uncomfortable for one Michigan family after a Detroit-area man hurt in a hunt for a Christmas wreath sued his in-laws. A Michigan appeals court has overruled a trial court judge and said the lawsuit filed by Christopher Karim should go to a jury. Karim had left work early to help with Christmas decorations at the West Bloomfield home of his in-laws, Salman and Regina Konja. He was in the attic looking for a wreath when he stepped on drywall instead of plywood and fell to the garage floor. The appeals court's decision says Karim's mother-in-law had just said, "No, don't step there." The decision doesn't describe Karim's injuries. The court says a jury must decide if the hazard was "open and obvious." [...]"  Note: Looking for a wreath for December, in October ... timing is everything, as is a good flashlight and common sense.

MSM: "Police Say Man Robbed Bank, Then Went For Pizza" [10/09/11] "Arizona authorities say they have arrested a man who robbed a Yuma bank then went and spent some of the stolen money on beer and pizza at a nearby restaurant. Yuma police say 56-year-old Henry Elmer has been booked into county jail on a variety of robbery and theft-related charges. Officers responded to a robbery call at the main branch of the Wells Fargo Bank across from the Yuma Police Station around 1:30 p.m. Saturday. A man reportedly entered the bank, produced a box-cutter knife and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash. Police say Elmer then went to a nearby restaurant, ordered beer and a couple of slices of pizza and paid with some of the bank's money. Police say they located Elmer before the meal was served. It's unclear whether he has a lawyer, yet.  [...]" 

MSM: "Man Impersonating Cop Pulls Over Real Cop" [10/09/11] "Police say a New Mexico man pretending to be police officer pulled over a real Albuquerque Police Department detective and is facing charges. KOB-TV reports that Tyree Appleberry was given the citation Wednesday on charges of impersonating a police officer then arrested for an outstanding warrant. According to police, the 42-year-old turned on his strobe lights on his white Chevy Tahoe in an attempt to stop a driver, who turned out to be an undercover officer. But Appleberry said he was not impersonating an officer and was instead asking the driver why he was in the parking lot next to an auto auction yard where his friend works. Authorities say Appleberry had a warrant out for his arrest for failing to appear in court for a reckless driving charge.  [...]" 

Explorations: "Time Lapse Of Stop-Motion Puppeteer At Work" [10/07/11] Note: A curiosity.

MSM: "The Duchess of Alba, One Of Spain's Richest Women, Marries Her 61-Year-Old "Toy Boy"" [10/06/11] "The Duchess of Alba, one of Spain's richest women, has married civil servant Alfonso Diez Carabantes at a palace in Seville, reports the BBC. The Duchess, at 85 years old, is 24 years older than her partner. Her first wedding was in 1947 and her full name is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva (she holds more recognized titles than any other living noble). [...]"  Note:  Check it out. Have you ever seen an uglier sequential ... they were no doubt married in one of their previous lives .... that's how it goes, for them. Related: "The Royal Lizard Emporium of the Feckless Doom" [9:17] 

Life and Living: "Misery Bear Goes to Work" [10/04/11] [2:33]  "Probably hates his job more than his life.[...]"  Related: Misery Bear's Day Off" [2:16]  Very cute ... and relaxing. | "Misery Bear: Dawn of the Ted" [3:00] "Misery Bear is getting ready for Halloween when things turn nasty. | More: "Season 1" 

UK: "Departed Are Asked To Rate Their National Health Service" [10/04/11]   "Dozens of dead people in the Lothians have been sent a questionnaire asking them how they rated their stay in hospital. The form, designed to find out how well the NHS is faring, was sent to more than 900 dead people across Scotland. Among the 33 questions it posed to the deceased were whether they felt their doctors listened to them, and what arrangements were made for them to leave the hospital. Health chiefs wanted to ask patients how good their treatment was, how long they had to wait in accident and emergency, and if the nurse knew enough about their condition. The national inpatient experience study also questioned if the toilets were clean, and whether patients were bothered by noise at night. The Scottish Government confirmed that 903 surveys were sent to dead people, including 75 in the Lothian area. A spokeswoman said a review was in place. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Mechanic Had a Screw Loose, Customer Says" [10/03/11] "A disgruntled Bridgestone mechanic purposefully left the oil drain plugs and engine mount bolts loose in a woman's car and signed his handiwork in a literal "hate" note to the company on the oil filter, the customer claims in county court. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Store Wants Payback After Big Jewelry Heist" [10/03/11] "A trio of burglars stole more than $6 million in merchandise from a jewelry store, then melted down 99 pounds of that gold in less than 24 hours and sold it through an unwitting Dallas broker for $1.6 million, the store's owners claim. [...]" 

MSM: "Consumer Activist, Wins Lawsuit Against Walmart -- Over 2 Cents" [10/03/11] "For Mary Bach, 2 cents isn't chump change. The Pennsylvania woman took Walmart to court over a two-penny discrepancy on her receipt -- and won. Bach was shopping at a Walmart in Delmont when she picked up a package of Banquet "Brown 'N Serve" sausage, listed at 98 cents, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. When the cashier rang up the the breakfast meat, the item scanned at $1. Bach says she pointed out the cashier's error and accepted a refund. But when she returned several days later and was overcharged again, Bach decided that a refund wouldn't cut it. She filed a civil suit against the retail giant -- a practice the consumer activist has made a habit. [...]"  

Natural World: " Snake is a Little Obsessive-Compulsive" Picture  [10/03/11] "I really like it when everything aligns correctly, okay? And it’s actually quite a bit easier to move between these cracks than it is on the sidewalk tiles themselves! I mean, it’s a more continuous line, for one, and it’s less bumpy and uneven for two, and I can pick every weed I find on my way for three and ok, fine, maybe I am a little compulsive. [...]"  Note: Cute.

MSM: "Man Celebrating His Birthday Gets Shot Over $10 Gift" [010/01/11] "Atlanta police are looking for a rude gift-giver who allegedly shot a man for refusing to return part of the birthday present. The victim was celebrating his birthday with friends on the restaurant patio when the gunman pulled up in a black Nissan Altima and offered the victim $10 as a gift, police say. The man returned shortly and asked for $4 back. When the birthday celebrant refused, the man went for a handgun. As the armed man returned to the patio, several party-goers tackled him. But the gun went off, hitting the birthday victim once in the abdomen, police said. The birthday victim was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. The gunman got in his car and drove away. [...]"  Note: Many happy returns.

MSM: "Man Robs Same NYC Bank 3 Days in a Row: Cops" [010/01/11] "A former mental patient allegedly robbed the same bank three days in a row this week while living the high life on his stolen money, the New York Post reports. New York City police say Charles Burnett, 29, robbed the Sovereign bank of $2,200 on Monday and booked himself into the Grand Hyatt near Grand Central with his new cash. Tuesday, he repeated his performance at Sovereign for a whopping $14,000. That's when he hired a personal driver for a third robbery. Initially Burnett had the luxury SUV take him shopping at a sporting goods store, where he picked up—and paid for—a New York Giants hat and Yankees batting glove. "I thought he was a baseball player," says driver Rafael Rubio. Burnett then had Rubio drop him off at Sovereign bank, which Burnett robbed of $10,000 before being tackled by cops. Sources say the 6-foot-1, 275-pound suspect, arraigned yesterday, was released not long ago from a mental hospital in the South. [...]"  

MSM: "Gardens of Death and Other Horticultural Marvels" [010/01/11] "Extraordinary flora and fauna abound in our round-up of the globe's most unusual gardens, greenhouses and Arctic Doomsday seed vaults. The Atlas Obscura recently organized a trip to the gnarled remains of the Jardin d'Agronomie Tropicale in Paris for Obscura Day 2011. The site boasts a beautiful and overgrown expanse of wild flora and fauna and an incredible history. Inspired by the beauty and backstory of the garden we have assembled a short list of some of the Atlas Obscura's favorite unusual gardens from around the world. [...]"  

UK: "Jehovah's Witnesses Call Quitters 'Mentally Diseased'" [09/29/11] "Former Jehovah’s Witnesses—as well as some current ones—are protesting after the religion’s official magazine called those who quit the religion mentally ill. “Apostates are 'mentally diseased', and they seek to infect others with their disloyal teachings,” said an article in the July issue of Watchtower. Critics say the comment may break British laws on religious hatred, and police are investigating their complaints, the Independent reports.  [...]"  Note: That's rich. Another case of the pot calling the kettle black, as it were.  

MSM: "Confused When Waking Up In A Strange Room? Blame Your Competing Memories" [09/28/11] Note: A sequential could blame it on competing lives.

MSM: "Rome Weighing 'Living Statue' Ban: Reports" [09/27/11] "Culture officials in Rome are mulling a ban on "living statues", arguing that dressing up in costume and standing on the street to solicit spare change has no artistic merit, media reported Friday. "Living statues demonstrate no artistic activity, to the extent that they can't be compared to mimes, and they amount to a veritable racket," said Federico Mollicone, deputy culture chief in Rome's mayorship. The proposed ban is part of a broader bill from Mollicone's office, which aims to regulate activity on Rome's streets, reports said. Under the proposal, street musicians could have their instruments or speakers confiscated, and "deafening" music would be banned after 10:00 pm (2000 GMT), compared to the current curfew of 11:00 pm. The measure is to be debated by Rome's municipal council within two weeks, and must pass a vote before coming into force. [...]"  

"The Clinton Foundation: A New Low in Bogus Charities"  [09/26/11] Hillary and Bill Clinton have had their hands out for a while now, and there's no big surprise there. But, this is the first time I actually looked at the Clinton Foundation's extensive begging page. Not only do these two money-grubbing sequentials have no compunction about walking off with other people's stuff, but it sort of gets worse - they also want to get their mitts on the things their donors would have left to their next of kin, namely inheritances, and they're not afraid to admit it. Look, stealing is one thing, and I can respect that as that is what darksiders do, but, the thing I find utterly unforgivable is the sheer classlessness of these people. These two are even an embarrassment to the Rothschilds, Rockefellers and other old money, blue blood sequentials. Of course, they steal, too, but at least they're classier about it, and I appreciate that. I really do. To be SO classless, tasteless and tacky beyond belief is just off the charts with these two sequential reincarnated retreads, and goes to prove that although you can take the boy out of Little Rock, you cannot take the Little Rock out of the boy. On the Foundation's donor page entitled Assets you can use, they do the usual bit about "send us all the cash you have," but they shamelessly ask people to fork over everything - and I mean everything - even the deeds to their homes.   Here is the list of what they want people to fork over: Bank Account, Certificates of Deposit and Securities; Securities (this category is listed twice so they really want these bad); Retirement Plans (This entry generously states: "... you might find it beneficial to contribute all or part of these funds to the Clinton Foundation while leaving other assets to your heirs."); Life Insurance Policies (see above entry for hypocrisy); Gifts of Personal Property (They list art, jewelry, antiques and collectibles. Maybe this is to make up for the White House furniture Hillary Clinton stole but had to give back.); But the most shameless entry is this: Real Estate (You can also transfer the deed to your property to the Foundation while retaining the right to live there for your lifetime). Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the reading of the Will  ...

MSM: "Piranha Problem Takes Bite Out Of Brazilian Beach Fun" [09/26/11] "Authorities in a state in Brazil's northeast are scrambling to take the fright and the bite off the beach after piranhas sunk their teeth into about 100 beachgoers, UOL Noticias reported. The problem -- rather fearsome given piranhas' horror-movie teeth and ability to sink them into human flesh -- has been the biggest at the main beach area in Piaui state; authorities said they need to act fast to reduce a piranha overpopulation situation. Last weekend, at least 100 bathers were treated at the hospital in Jose de Freitas not far from Terezina, Piaui's capital, after being bitten on the heels or toes at the local beach. "Since they have no predators, piranhas have started attacking people on the beach," said Romildo Mafra, a local environment official. Environmental officials so far have added tilapia to the piranhas' local food chain hoping to quell some of the predators' hunger.  [...]"  

MSM: "Drunken Elk Hides Kids' Swing Set In A Tree" [09/26/11]   "An elk drunk from eating fermented apples in southern Sweden ended its binge by making off with a family's swing set and hiding it in the woods. [...]" 

Humor: "The 5 Most Popular Safety Laws (That Don't Work)" [09/26/11] "By the way, even worse than speed limits are speed bumps, the irritating, jarring humps they put in parking lots and such, intended to physically force drivers to slow down and make their CD players skip. Not only do those things not prevent accidents, but they keep ambulances from getting to emergencies, which is exactly the sort of thing you don't want happening when years of bacon sundaes and cookie-dough sandwiches finally catch up with you. The above link references a study in Boulder, Colorado that found speed bumps kill as many as 85 people for every one life they save. Holy shit! We think landmines have a better ratio. [...]"  

MSM: "Fleeing Driver Calls Police To Tell Them To Stop Chasing Him" [09/26/11] "A Park City man accused of leading police on a 30-mile chase Thursday called dispatchers during the pursuit to tell them that deputies “needed to leave him alone.” The man, 20, was driving east on U.S. Highway 40 near Strawberry Reservoir when a deputy tried to stop him for going 15 miles over the speed limit, according to Wasatch County Chief Deputy Sheriff Jared Rigby. The driver did not stop and the deputy told dispatchers he was pursuing a fleeing driver. A short time later, a dispatcher notified the deputy that the driver had called in and said “that he was not going to stop and that I needed to leave him alone,” Rigby said, reading from the deputy's report. The driver's father also called dispatchers during the chase. He told them his son had also called him and told him what was happening, Rigby said. The father said he told his son to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Duchesne County sheriff's deputies and Utah Highway Patrol troopers set up tire spikes eight miles east of Fruitland to end the chase. The driver stopped his car just short of the spikes and was taken into custody. The man's family told deputies he was having problems with his girlfriend shortly before the pursuit and was distraught. “He'd had a bad morning and wasn't stopping for the cops,” Rigby said. “It was nothing more than that.” The man was booked into the Wasatch County Jail for investigation of failure to stop for police and speeding. [...]"  

MSM: "Chinese Dog Eating Festival Banned After 600 Years Because Of Social Media Outcry " [09/24/11] "A 600-year-old dog eating festival in Qianxi, China was banned this week after a massive social media outcry called for its cancellation. Fifteen thousand dogs are slaughtered annually at the festival, which commemorates a battle fought in the town. Before the battle, an invading army killed all the dogs in the town of Qianxi to prevent being exposed by barking dogs. After capturing the town, the army ate the dog meat to celebrate. From then until the '80s, the dogs were killed immediately before being cooked and served. Then the Chinese government intervened and banned on-site butchery. But the practice began to creep back into the festival over the past few years. Pictures of carnage from the dog eating festival made their way on to the internet, incensing thousands. This year, many of them took to the internet to call for the festival to be banned. The Chinese government reacted by banning the festival. [...]"  Note:  Wow, what an existential loop, both for the people and the dogs. Now, I ate some dog in Vietnam back in the 1970's .. and it tasted like beef to me. Besides, they needed their cattle for infrastructure. I mean, it's better than putting butter on Kramer with a delusional Newman around (Seinfeld show). 

MSM: "Dalai Lama Vows To Spell Out Own Reincarnation" [09/24/11] "The Dalai Lama said Saturday if he is to be reincarnated he will leave clear written instructions about the process, but that the matter is unlikely to come up for a number of years. The Tibetan spiritual leader said in a statement that when he is "about 90" he will consult Buddhist scholars to evaluate whether the institution of the Dalai Lama should continue at all. He is 76. The statement came after a meeting between the Dalai Lama and the leaders of the four Tibetan Buddhist sects, the first since he transferred his political role earlier this year to an elected prime minister. [...]"  Note: Well, he IS, after all,  a sequential reincarnated retread - that's his option to present a preview of his intent, however, he won't be coming back to this world. Last I heard, he was disenchanted with the existential loop of playing the Dalai Lama, and wanted to do something else.

FKN News: "Live in Fear Die In Debt – Deek Jackson" [09/23/11]   [17:00] Note: Always amusing. 

MSM: "Indian Train Travels 980km In Wrong Direction... Without Any Rail Staff Noticing" [09/21/11] "More than a thousand furious rail passengers stormed a station office after they noticed the train they were on had gone 980km in the wrong direction. As the packed service pulled into the Indian city of Warangal people on board went berserk as they realised they were five hours away from where they should have been and no staff on board had noticed. The train departed the southern town of Tirupati heading for the eastern city of Bhubaneswar. Experts were amazed the service did not crash as it went for 600 miles on the completely wrong track. [...]"  

MSM: "Chinese Condoms Too Small For South Africans" [09/17/11]   "A South African court has blocked the government from buying 11 million Chinese condoms, saying they are too small, a newspaper reported Friday. The finance ministry had awarded a contract to a firm called Siqamba Medical, which planned to buy the Phoenurse condoms from China, the Beeld newspaper said. A rival firm, Sekunjalo Investments Corporation, turned to the High Court in Pretoria after losing the bid, arguing that their condoms were 20 percent larger than the Chinese ones. Judge Sulet Potterill blocked the deal with Siqamba, ruling that the condoms were too small, made from the wrong material, and were not approved by the World Health Organisation, the paper said. [...]" 

MSM: "New Feats For 2012 Guinness Book " [09/15/11]   "A woman with 10ft fingernails, a student who has a four-inch tongue and a Briton who owns 571 Daleks are among entries in the new Guinness Book of World Records. [...]" 

MSM: "Overweight Man, Sues White Castle Because He Can't Fit In Seats " [09/13/11]   [1:10] "A 290-pound man is suing the White Castle fast food chain because, he claims, their seats aren't built for a person of his size. Stock broker Martin Kessman took legal action last week, 2 years after complaining to the corporate office about the size of the stationary booths at White Castle's Nanuet, N.Y., location. According to the Kessman, White Castle responded with three “very condescending letters," each of which included a coupon for three free hamburgers, but "the cheese was extra," he notes in his lawsuit. White Castle also sent Kessman plans for for how they were going to modify their booths, but no adjustments had been made as of last week. Kessman's beef is unique to White Castle -- he claims to have no issue with seating at other fast-food establishments or on airplanes. [...]" 

MSM: "Senator Accused Of Shoplifting Had "Panic Attack"" [09/12/11] "Senator Mary Jo Fisher was having a panic attack when she allegedly left an Adelaide supermarket last year without paying for groceries, a court has heard. The Senator's treating psychiatrist, Brian McKenny, told the Adelaide Magistrates Court today that after hearing her testimony he was of the view that her attack was both severe and unprovoked. "I think she gave a very clear and detailed account of the physical and psychological symptoms of a panic attack," Dr McKenny said. He said such attacks could be "particularly overwhelming" when experienced for the first time. Senator Fisher is before the court accused of stealing $92.92 worth of groceries from a Foodland store in Adelaide on December 15 last year. She has pleaded not guilty to that charge and not guilty to assaulting a store security guard who tried to stop her leaving. [...]"  Note: That's got to be one of the biggest bullshit stories ever, for a politician. She had  a "panic when you get caught" kind of panic attack, wherein she got that 'deer-in-the-headlights' expression on her face, which had to have been priceless. It must be their political 'get out of jail free' pass in Adelaide.

MSM: "Burglar Found Cooking Inside Restaurant" [09/12/11] "Police arrested a Mount Prospect, Ill., man who allegedly broke into a restaurant and made himself a meal. Video surveillance of Mr. Beef and Pizza in Mount Prospect allegedly shows Hachem Gomez, 19, entering the restaurant early Saturday by breaking into the drive-through window, the Arlington Heights (Ill.) Daily Herald reported. Assistant State's Attorney Robin Murphy said the video also shows Gomez damaging a cash register before stealing fries and chicken tenders from a freezer and cooking them in a microwave. There was no indication that Gomez was drunk or under the influence of drugs at the time of the burglary and the man has no criminal background, Murphy said. Gomez's bond was set at $5,000 and he is scheduled to appear in court on Sept. 21. [...]" 

MSM: "Landlady Refused To Rent To Single Mom" [09/12/11] "A Wisconsin property owner is accused of violating the Fair Housing Act for allegedly refusing to rent to a woman who didn't have a man "to shovel the snow." [...]" 

MSM: "Fla. Man Shoots Self Trying To Blast Snake" [09/12/11] "A Volusia County man accidentally shot himself in the finger on Thursday while trying to kill a venomous snake on his front porch, deputies said. Investigators said a caretaker for the 75-year-old man spotted a large water moccasin on the front porch of his Astor home on Thursday afternoon. She told the man about the snake, deputies said, and he retrieved a .38 caliber Derringer handgun loaded with birdshot, venturing outside to kill it. Deputies said he fired once, missing his target. As he prepared to fire a second round, reports state, he discharged the gun accidentally. A Sheriff's Office report states the shot passed through the man's left index finger. He was taken to Halifax Hospital and was expected to recover. [...]"  

MSM: "Amputee Forced To Prove Disability" [09/12/11] "A Swedish man who lost his leg more than 10 years ago said it is "ridiculous" that he has to prove he still has trouble walking every three years. [...]" 

MSM: "Fla. Police Accuse Woman Of Vampire Attack" [09/12/11] " St. Petersburg, Fla., police arrested a woman for an alleged vampire attack. [...]"  

MSM: "Police Called After Man Butchers Cow in His Driveway" [09/11/11] "Charges may ensue for an Ogden man who startled the neighbors by butchering a cow in his driveway over the weekend. Police were called to the scene at 1:44 p.m. Sunday after the cow’s owner began harvesting the animal. A patrolman was responding to a caller who saw a cow being trailered to the home in the 2700 block of Gramercy Avenue. The caller then reported hearing the cow’s audible mooing, followed by what sounded like a gunshot, said Police Lt. Troy Burnett. Then the mooing stopped. The patrolman’s report said when he arrived at the scene a half-block above Monroe Boulevard, “the cow was in the process of losing its head,” Burnett said. The man sawing at the animal’s neck, the owner of the beef, denied shooting the cow on the premises, telling the officer the animal had been dispatched outside the city limits. The officer took the information and filed a report that will be screened by the city attorney’s office for possible charges, Burnett said. “I assume the patrolman had them make arrangements to do the butchering out of plain view,” he said.  [...]"

Legal Case: "Torture Alleged at Chain of Children's Homes" [09/08/11] "Salt Lake City - Hundreds of parents claim a group of boarding schools tortured their children: locked them in dog cages, forced them to lie in feces and eat vomit, masturbated them and denied the troubled teens any religion "except for the Mormon faith." The Utah-based World Wide Association Of Specialty Programs and Schools and its owners - Robert Lichfield, Brent Facer and Ken Kay - went to great lengths to hide the "torture," which began in the mid-1990s and continued for a decade, the 357 plaintiffs claim in Salt Lake County Court. The plaintiffs say that 59 schools and owners tied to the company "jointly promoted, advertised, and marketed defendants' residential boarding schools as a place where children with problems could get an education while receiving instruction and direction in behavior modification for emotional growth and personal development." But they say the children were subjected to physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the schools including, Cross Creek Center for Boys, Brightway Adolescent Hospital and Red Rock Springs. They say the abuses inflicted upon some children for years "could be accurately described as torture." According to the complaint, students were locked in boxes, cages and basements at the schools, denied medical and dental care, and forced "to carry heavy bags of sand around their necks or logs throughout the day over many days." They were sexually abused, "which included forced sexual relations and acts of fondling and masturbation performed on them," according to the 119-page complaint. [...]"  

MSM: "Villagers In Philippines Capture Giant One-Ton Crocodile " [09/06/11] "Villagers in the Philippines have captured a one-ton crocodile they plan to make the star of a planned ecotourism park. Mayor Edwin Cox Elorde said dozens of villagers and experts ensnared the 21-foot male crocodile along a stream in Bunawan township in Agusan del Sur province after a three-week hunt. Mr Elorde said the crocodile killed a water buffalo in an attack witnessed by villagers last month and was also suspected of having killed a fisherman who went missing in July. After initial sightings, hunters set four traps, which the crocodile destroyed. They then used sturdier traps using steel cables, one of which finally caught it. About 100 people had to pull the crocodile, which weighs about 2,370lbs to a clearing where a crane lifted it into a truck. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Cops Chasing Suspect Wrong Way On Interstate Crash Head-On Into Vehicle, Killing Man" [09/05/11] "Ohio. A 63-year-old man from Point Place died in a car crash during the chaos of Saturday morning's police chase to catch the Rite Aid robbery suspect. [...] Lipp eventually made his way to southern Wood County where he stole another car and committed another store robbery. State troopers then took over the high speed pursuit on I-75 back into Toledo. The suspect tried to exit the Bancroft ramp, when he lost control and crashed into a garage ... Seven officers in total fired their guns; three from TPD, three State Troopers and one FBI agent. The chief estimates 40-50 rounds were fired. The suspect was struck multiple times and was pronounced dead on scene. Police recovered the suspect's weapon. It turns out it was a pellet gun. As with all fatal police-involved shootings, there will be an investigation headed by Toledo Police. It will then be presented to the Lucas County Grand Jury for review."  

Explorations: "Outstanding Realistic Tire Sculptures by Yong Ho Ji " [09/05/11] Note: Brilliant work, but it would be a little creepy in dimly lit areas.

MSM: "Jobless Man Finds $150K in Garden" [09/05/11] " Wayne Sabaj went into his backyard garden looking for broccoli and found $150,000 instead. The unemployed and very honest Illinois carpenter—fearing the cash packed into two duffel bags might have come from a bank robbery—alerted police to the discovery. Investigators have been unable to find the source of the cash, and have left a note in the spot where it was found. Sabaj, 49, may get to keep the money if it goes unclaimed for a year—but he says he's not holding his breath. "I don't even think I'll get it back, and even if I do, the government's just going to take a third of it back," he tells ABC. "You just can't worry about it." [...]"  

MSM: "Washington Man Causes Explosion After Igniting Gasoline-Soaked Beehive " [09/04/11] "A Lynden man dumped gasoline on a beehive that was in a tree and then ignited it Sunday night, Aug. 28, causing an explosion in the suburban neighborhood that could be seen from a few hundred feet away. The man lit the hive on fire about 8:30 p.m. in retaliation for a bee sting one of his friends got earlier that day at the house on Twin Sister Loop, said Lynden Fire Chief Gary Baar. The fire caused a large "whoosh" and singed the tree pretty badly, Baar said, but nobody was hurt. There were no flames when firefighters arrived about 10 minutes later. "No damage, except for a bunch of dead bees," Baar said. "The correct way to do that is to call a beekeeper." Firefighters explained that to the homeowner, but it doesn't appear he'll be cited. A waitress at the nearby Homestead Golf & Country Club called the fire department soon after the explosion to report it, Baar said.  [...]"  

Concepts and Practices: "City Introduces "Tax Meters" For Prostitutes" [09/01/11]   "Prostitutes in the German city of Bonn must carry a ticket purchased from a new parking meter-like machine while working the streets or face hefty fines from tax authorities in a scheme launched on Monday night. [...]"  Note: Another German innovation ... more people raised by wolves.

Shit Happens: "Man's Freak Accident With Pruning Shears" [08/31/11]   "Leroy Luetscher, 86, was working in his garden when he dropped the shears, which landed point-side down in the ground. When he went to pick them up, he fell face-down on the handle which penetrated his eye socket. Surgeons managed to save his eye. [...]"  

Concepts and Practices: "It's Only Sexist When Men Do It" [08/30/11]   [6:28] Note: Complex social issues that are part of the world of identification with the physical body and the increasing emphasis on specific gender bias. Related videos on the page. If this is all this stratum of society has to think about on an ongoing basis out there, it's pretty sad ... mid-level perspectives which completely miss the really meaningful things in life, but this is the spectrum in which these incarnations operate. Other variations occur in other cultures around the world. Related: "Everything Is Offensive" [7:04] "Racists Are Pathetic" [4:05] "Religion and Sexuality" [13:50] | "Fun With Hate Mail" [16:58] Website: That Fat Atheist  

MSM: "Adult Children’s ‘Bad Mothering’ Lawsuit Dismissed" [08/29/11] "Raised in a $1.5 million Barrington Hills, Ill., home by their attorney father, two grown children have spent the last two years pursuing a unique lawsuit against their mom for "bad mothering" that alleges damages caused when she failed to buy toys for one and sent another a birthday card he didn’t like. The alleged offenses include failing to take her daughter to a car show, telling her then 7-year-old son to buckle his seat belt or she would contact police, "haggling" over the amount to spend on party dresses and calling her daughter at midnight to ask that she return home from celebrating homecoming. Last week, at which point the court record stood about a foot tall, an Illinois appeals court dismissed the case, finding that none of the mother’s conduct was "extreme or outrageous." To rule in favor of her children, the court found, "could potentially open the floodgates to subject family childrearing to ... excessive judicial scrutiny and interference." [...]"  

  UK: "Pair Sacked For Tagging False Leg" [08/29/11] "Two workers are sacked for mistakenly tagging an offender's false leg allowing him to remove it and break a court-imposed curfew, security firm G4S reveals. [...]"  

  UK: "Rhino Horn Thieves Only Got Replicas" [08/27/11] "Replica horns are ripped from taxidermy rhinos and stolen at a Natural History Museum in Hertfordshire. [...]"

Media and Culture: "'Book of Mormon' Leads Tony Awards Nominations" [08/27/11]   "The Book of Mormon, the new musical comedy by South Park masterminds Trey Parker and Matt Stone, has been nominated for 14 awards. The show has been nominated in most top categories, including Best Musical, Best Book of a Musical, Best Original Score, Best Direction, Best Choreography and Best Actor in a Musical. This sets the show up to possibly become the most celebrated Broadway show since The Producers won 12 of 15 nominations in 2001. [...]" 

MSM: "I Am So Fucked", Says Drunk Woman After Crashing Into Cars" [08/27/11] "Sometimes one sentence sums up a situation perfectly -- and Rebecca Ward, a nineteen-year-old from London, reportedly uttered it after careening into not one, not two, but three cars in a wild, sparks-filled series of crashes in Boulder. That phrase? "I am so fucked." According to the Boulder Police Department arrest report, on view below in its entirety, an officer was called to a location near 11th Street and Cascade Avenue just shy of 3 a.m. on August 24. He was soon directed to skid marks that he was able to follow for blocks -- and they led him to three damaged vehicles, as well as an extra tire and other assorted car parts that belonged to a fourth car, a Volvo. Ward was found standing beside it, looking blitzed. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Wing Walker Plunges to His Death" [08/23/11] A horrified crowd watched yesterday as a Michigan wing walker plunged to his death during an air show stunt. Todd Green fell some 200 feet at the Air National Guard Base in Selfridge near Detroit as he attempted to grab onto a helicopter hovering over the plane. "I thought it was part of the stunt," one (incredibly stupid) witness told the Detroit News. "It felt surreal. It wasn't until the ambulance came that it set in." It was "very somber," said another witness. "It's a pretty sad situation." Green was the son of legendary aerial stuntman Eddie "The Grip" Green, and had performed the helicopter transfer stunt several times.  [...]"  Note: Eddie "The Grip", huh.  

MSM: "Clowns Fight 'Creepy' Image, 'Clownism' " [08/23/11]   "Believe it or not, clowns were beloved characters for thousands of years, and their crazy antics, acrobatics and slapstick were considered important forms of social communication and, in some cases, social protest. The "clowns are creepy" meme is a new, and according to one clown, if anyone is to blame for making life sad for people who try to make us laugh, it's Stephen King. Paul Kleinberger -- who performs as Fuddi Duddy the Clown around Albany, N.Y. -- says King's 1986 novel, "It," with its evil clown character Pennywise, is blamed by most contemporary clowns for hurting their image. "Some people say that if it wasn't for Stephen King, clowns would have an easier time  [...]"  Note:  Well, they seem to be having fun in Washington D.C.

MSM: "Argument Over Loaf Of Bread Ends In Violence" Link Fixed [08/22/11] "An overnight argument over a loaf of bread ended in violence. A fight broke out around 2:30 a.m. Sunday at a home near 6th Street and Brighton in Kansas City. Police on the scene say two people stabbed each other after an argument over a loaf of bread. Both victims are expected to recover from their injuries. There is no word if the pair will face charges. [...]"  

MSM: "Mom Accused Of Trying To Sell Son" [08/22/11] " Authorities in Florida have accused a mother of trying to sell her 5-year-old son. [...]" 

Absurdities: "Rick Perry: "Evolution A Theory That's Out There" [08/19/11]   "During a stop in New Hampshire on Thursday, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry raised skepticism about the theory of evolution. "How old do I think the earth is? You know what, I don't have any idea," said the Texas governor when asked about his position on the issue by a woman and her son. "I know it's pretty old so it goes back a long long way. I'm not sure anybody actually knows completely and absolutely how long, how old the earth is."  Perry regarded evolution as "a theory that's out there" and one that's "got some gas in it." He added that in the Lone Star State both creationism and evolution are taught to students in public schools. He explained, "I figure you're smart enough to figure out which one is right." [...]" Related: "Watch: Rick Perry Really Is Even Dumber Than George Bush" [3:00] "In this video clip, Perry is asked to explain why Texas should continue spending money on abstinence programs when the state ranks third in unwed pregnancies. His answer, "Because it works," provokes laughter from the (mentally deficient ) audience. [...]"  Note: It would seem that all the 2012 presidential "candidates" are functionally defective in one way or another, promoting the status quo, now that they're all on the precipice of the collapse of the civilization, like little sequential robots with wind-up keys on their backs, aside from R. Paul.  "Former Reagan, Bush Official: Rick Perry Is 'An Idiot'" 

Date With Destiny: "Russian Mom Hears Daughter's Final Agony As She Is Eaten Alive By Bears" [08/19/11] "A Russian mother listened helplessly on a cellphone to her teenage daughter crying for help earlier this week as she was eaten alive by bears. The horrified mother of Olga Moskalyova, a 19-year-old psychologist in training, heard her daughter's desperate pleas for help after receiving a call from her daughter on a mobile phone. Moskalyova and her stepfather, Igor Tsyganenkov, were camping near a river in Russia when the mother bear attacked him. It reportedly broke his neck and smashed his skull. Having witnessed the attack, Moskalyova attempted to flee but was able to run only about 70 yards before the powerful brown bear grabbed her leg and forced her to the ground.  [...] "My daughter was such fun. She was so cheerful, friendly, and warm," Tatiana Tsyganenkov said, her words spoken in a voice diminished by grief. "She had graduated from music school, and just days before the bear attack she got her driving license.""  Note: Yeah ... those pesky bear attacks ... who knew.

MSM: "Fred Flintstone Wannabe" Uses Feet To Stop Car, Hits 4 Vehicles" [08/19/11] "Roseville Police arrested a 24-year-old man Wednesday who tried to use his feet to brake his moving car and failed, hitting four cars along the way. The Fred Flintstone wannabe, a roofer from Warren, was driving on a suspended license and was cited for Reckless Driving in the incident, in which police said he was completely sober, just “overly tired.” He “will face a judge in September, to explain his moronic decision making,” said Deputy Chief James Berlin in a statement. At about 5:45 p.m. police said witnesses saw the man stop at 11 Mile Road and Bunert to check his brakes, which had apparently failed. He drove onto northbound Groesbeck Highway, with his feet outside the car door serving as brakes. At the intersection of Groesbeck Highway and 13 Mile Road, he couldn’t stop in time to avoid running a red light, and hit two cars in the intersection. He drove off, still using his feet as brakes, and hit two more cars at the intersection of Groesbeck and Utica Road. He then stopped. Vehicle damage was minor and there were no injuries. [...]" 

Legal Case: "Starbucks Pays $75K In Suit Filed By Dwarf" [08/19/11] "The Starbucks Coffee Company has paid $75,000 to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to settle a lawsuit for unlawfully denying a reasonable accommodation to a woman with dwarfism, according to a press release. The lawsuit was filed by the commission on behalf of Elsa Sallard, who claimed she was fired from her job as a barista because she is a dwarf. According to a press release from the commission, Sallard told employers during a training that she could use a stool or stepladder to do her job. "The manager at the El Paso Starbucks location disregarded Sallard's request," the release said. "On the same day that Sallard requested the accommodation, Starbucks terminated her employment, claiming that she would pose a 'danger' to customers and employees." Commission officials said that the settlement not only compensates Sallard, but is an agreement that Starbucks will provide training in compliance with Americans With Disabilities Act. [...]"  

Date With Destiny:  "Niagara Falls Search for Woman Turns Up Man's Body" [08/16/11] "An odd footnote to the sad tale of the 19-year-old student swept over Niagara Falls on Sunday. An international search team dispatched in a helicopter to look for her body in Niagara Falls Gorge instead turned up the body of an unknown male. Authorities are working to identify him, reports KTLA. Meanwhile, more details are emerging about the tragic weekend incident: The woman, presumed drowned, was an international student from Japan. The Toronto Star talks to a witness who saw her posing on the railing for a photo moments before she fell, wearing a bright red sweatshirt and holding an umbrella. The paper notes that earlier the same day, a 27-year-old man scaled a safety wall and tumbled into Niagara River Gorge; he and a friend who went in to save him were rescued, though the man fractured his leg. [...]"  

MSM: "Mom Beats Son With Cable After Discovering He's On Facebook" [08/16/11] "The 62-year-old woman told police the boy -- his age wasn't disclosed -- had lied to her about having the page, and that she'd become angry and hit him with a computer cable inside their home. The arresting officer wrote in a report that Ricketts "stated to me that hitting a child with a cable is a common way of disciplining kids where she comes from." [...]"  Note: which apparently must be the planet Zongo ... hub of sadomasochism in the Eagle Nebula ... home of the original 'monster cable'.

Absurdities: "Anti-Piracy Lawyers Accuse Blind Man of Downloading Porn" [08/16/11] "“The sad part about this entire porn thing is it will cost more to go to a judge,” Doe says. “At the end of the day, I’ll probably settle and pay the fee to make this go away.” And he’s not alone. TorrentFreak has spoken to several people who swore their innocence but paid up just to get rid of the threat. The copyright holders and lawyers are very aware of the position these defendants are in, but they gladly take their money. With most neutral observers, however, the whole scheme should raise an eyebrow to say the least.  [...]March last year the law firm Dunlap, Grubb and Weaver imported the mass litigation “pay up or else” anti-piracy scheme to the United States, and in the month that followed they targeted nearly 100,000 people. In total, cases have been filed against more than 200,000 alleged infringers, many of which are accused of downloading and sharing adult films. A significant number of the defendants are likely to be guilty, but there’s also a lot of collateral damage. Firstly it’s unclear how accurate the evidence gathering techniques of the copyright holders are, and even when they have the correct IP-address it doesn’t necessarily follow that the account holder on file is actually the infringer. Doe 2,057 in the case of Imperial Enterprises v. Does claims to be one of these wrongfully accused persons. This May he received a letter from Comcast informing him that Imperial Enterprises had filed a lawsuit against him for illegally downloading and sharing one of their adult titles — Tokyo Cougar Creampies. To some people this title may seem inviting, but it’s not the type of content Doe 2,057 is interested in. Not least because he’s legally blind."  

US Politics: "Bachmann Pushes Corn Dog Envelope" [08/15/11] Link Fixed "And we are supposed to gaze at this action shot and simply say, “Huh. Looks like a good corn dog. That’s all I see.” [...]"    

Date With Destiny: " Stage Collapses At Indiana State Fair" [08/14/11] [0:48] "Fan video of August 13, 2011, Sugarland Concert stage collapse at Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis, IN, USA." Note: Ah, what goes through the mind ... c'est un 'test' ..... if one is still in 'OMG' mode, one has some maturing to do. It's where most are, out there. Wait until the real 'stuff' begins to happen that is outside the purview of planetary power structures.

Legal Case: "Outraged Ph.D. Sues Houston Police" [08/10/11] "A 65-year-old Ph.D. claims Houston cops falsely arrested her, searched her home without a warrant and maliciously prosecuted her after she quarreled with a "wanted criminal" who let his dog take a dump on her "well manicured lawn." Hatice Cullingford, a former NASA engineer who holds a doctorate in chemical engineering, sued Houston its police Officers T.E. Sales and F. Rodriguez in Federal Court. Cullingford claims that on August 29, 2009 "a wanted criminal from Dallas, Texas, Robert Shlemon, 26, was walking his dog with another person by Dr. Cullingford's residence. The complaint states that on the night in question, [...]"  

MSM: "Canadian Prime Minister Locks Himself In Brazilian Bathroom Until He Gets His Way" [08/10/11] On a visit to Brazil yesterday, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper locked himself in one of the foreign minister's bathrooms, protesting the Brazilian president's decision that toasts and speeches take place after her lunch with Harper, and not during the lunch, as Harper wanted. The prime minister refused to leave the bathroom until the Brazilian president gave in to his demands, the Washington Post reports. [...]"  

Explorations: "I Gave Up On My "Species" - George Carlin [08/10/11] [4:08] Note: Plenty of related videos on page. Good entertainment, as always.

"Honey-Soaked Naked Girls Were Filmed By Pastor" [08/09/11] "Using a hidden video camera, a Texas man filmed four naked, honey-drenched teenage girls while they showered at a church where he worked as a youth pastor. But statute of limitations saves Texas man, 30, from prosecution [...]"  Note: Another sexually frustrated religious delusional freak, caught with his cross down, and where else, but Texas.

Anomalies: "E. Toledo Woman Dies In Fall Into Recycling Bin" [08/09/11] "Mr. Decoster, who left for work about 3:30 a.m., returned home about 5 p.m. with a load of groceries. He didn't see his wife when he first walked in. He assumed she might be next door visiting with a neighbor, and when he walked out the front door, he saw his wife's leg sticking out of the bin, which is next to the porch. "I just happened to look to the left and, honestly, thought it was a dummy," Mr. Decoster said, pausing to breathe. "I shook her leg and called her name, and I knew she was gone." "Even though I've seen a lot of death, I can't open that can," said Mr. Decoster, who served in the Army Airborne division for three years, spending 13 months in Vietnam. "I need to put some recyclables in the can and I just can't do it. "That's not me. I'm a strong person, strong-willed, but this is hitting me pretty hard," Mr. Decoster said. [...]"  Related: See "Woman Found Dead In Own Food Barrel" [05/27/11]

Legal Case: "Man of 3,000 Faces Gets 18 Years" [08/05/11] " A man who operated a $65.8 million fraudulent tax-refund scheme using more than 2,900 false identities while living in Israel will serve 18 years in federal prison. Marvin Berkowitz pleaded guilty to directing a conspiracy to "file thousands of fraudulent state and federal income tax returns, using the names and social security numbers of federal inmates and deceased persons without their or their families' knowledge or consent," the Justice Department said. Berkowitz's scheme involved at least 58 individuals - some of whom were tricked into believing Berkowitz's activities were legal -as well as 90 different addresses and 42 bank accounts. Though he started the scheme in Chicago, Berkowitz fled to Israel in 2003 and continued the operation, filing the fraudulent returns that were then mailed to his co-conspirators in the United States for submission. [...]" 

"Warren Jeffs Convicted of Child Sex Abuse" [08/05/11] " A Texas jury made quick work of the Warren Jeffs case today, deliberating for less than four hours before finding him guilty of sexually assaulting two underage girls in his polygamist sect, reports CNN. He faces life in prison when the sentencing phase of the trial wraps up. Jeffs acted as his own attorney, and he remained silent during most of the time allotted for his closing argument. At one point, he stared at each juror individually before mumbling, "I am at peace." Prosecutors had used an audio recording of a panting Jeffs to make their case that he had sex with young "spiritual wives" in his charge. They promised more "repulsive" evidence in the sentencing phase, which could finish tomorrow. "I think it will confirm in (jurors') minds why they convicted the man and why they want to put him behind bars for a long time," said the state attorney general. [...]"  Note: A creepy guy. Related: "Warren Jeffs: Cancel Trial, or I'll Sic god on You" [07/31/11]   "Polygamist Warren Jeffs' decision to represent himself in court continues to go swimmingly: Today, he relayed a statement from god and threatened the court with biblical destruction unless it ended his trial, reports AP. "I, the Lord god of heaven, call upon the court to cease this open prosecution against my pure, holy way," Jeffs read. If it fails to do so, "I will send a scourge upon the counties of prosecutorial zeal to make humbled by sickness and death." Oddly, the judge did not immediately set him free. Instead, she warned him not to repeat his threat in front of the jury, whom she had cleared from the room before his statement. "If you call for their destruction or in any way say that they will be injured or damaged because of their service, you will be removed from the courtroom," she said. Jeffs faces life in prison if convicted on charges that he abused two underage girls at his compound in Texas. This actually isn't the first time he's played the doomsday card. [...]"   Note: Delusional individual ... permanent hospitalization due.

MSM: "Swedish Man Arrested Trying To Build Nuclear Reactor In His Kitchen" [08/04/11]   "A young man in Angelholm, in the South of Sweden, has been arrested after apparently trying to create a nuclear reactor in his kitchen. The young man's story appears in Helsingsborgs Dagblad, a Swedish language local paper in the area. The 31-year-old tells the paper that he was able to buy radioactive waste from foreign companies and picked apart the components in a smoke detector (apparently older smoke detector contain nuclear material). He believes he spent between $5,000 and $6,000 on the project in total. It was only later when the young man contacted Sweden's nuclear power agency that he realized his project was illegal. Police came to his apartment and confiscated the material. The young man was arrested but later released. [...]"  

MSM: "Cops: Woman Draws Beard On Face, Robs Bank" [08/03/11] " Both Bonnie and Clyde would be proud. Cops say a woman drew a beard on her face and wore men's clothes to rob a bank in Alabama. She allegedly told tellers at the Bank of Tuscaloosa in Cottondale she had a bomb, placed a device on the counter, and asked for money. She made off with an unknown amount of cash. Police think she might also have robbed another bank in early July. Local cops and the FBI are conducting investigations.  [...]" 

MSM: "Cops Bust Blood-Drenched Guy Biking With an Axe" [08/03/11]   "Try explaining this one to the cops: Ontario police stopped a blood-soaked man riding his bike into town carrying an ax. On the plus side, the blood was his own and there were no victims, reports the Peterborough Examiner. The suspect, Lawrence Carnrite, 41, is well-known among local police, and has a hefty criminal record—now he can add a charge of possession of a dangerous weapon to it. There's also an incident involving a crowbar, which Carnrite claims was self-defense [...]"  

MSM: "China Also Fakes These Stores: Disney, Nike, D&G, McDonald's, Starbucks And More" [08/02/11]   "Why pirate a product when you can copy an entire store? The western world was stunned recently to see the Chinese had reproduced an Apple Store to the tee at several locations. They also reproduced the interior of an IKEA. Actually there are dozens of fake stores in China. Even the most blatant rip-offs can be nearly impossible to shut down due to loose copyright laws. The latest giant Chinese imitation -- a four-story, 10,000 square foot building with a color scheme very similar to the Scandinavian giant known as Ikea  [...]"  Note: Somehow, a certain cliché comes to mind.

 Internet:  "2100 Clichés, Euphemisms, Sayings And Figures Of Speech Complete With Definitions And Explanations." [08/02/11]  As luck would have it.

  Parody: "WikiLeaks Mastercard Spoof " [08/01/11] [1:01] "Julian Assange doesn't hold back his annoyance when it comes to MasterCard. Further to his lawsuit against the company, he's also posted a spoof on YouTube. Watch WikiLeaks founder star in "For Everything Else There's MasterCard" advert. You'll be greeted with a convincing typical American male voiceover emphasising how major credit card companies and online payment companies have withheld over £9.1 million in donations to WikiLeaks. The clip breaks down the costs in running the organization, which include 40 servers and, not surprisingly, a hefty legal bill.  [...]"  

Legal Case: "Circumcision Ban Sliced From Ballot" [08/01/11] "San Francisco cannot ban male circumcision in the city and county because the proposed ballot initiative that would do so is "expressly pre-empted" by state business and professions codes, a Superior Court judge ruled. [...]"  

 Legal Case: "Louisiana Monks Can Keep Making Caskets" [08/01/11]   "An order of monks can sell handmade caskets without a Louisiana funeral home license, a federal judge ruled. [...]"  

MSM: "Pilot Treads Water For 18 Hours After Plane Crash" [07/29/11] [2:44] "A New York man was forced to tread water for a whopping 18 hours in Lake Huron after his 2-seat Cessna plane crashed into the lake. 42-year-old Michael Trapp swam in Lake Huron without a life jacket for nearly a day as he "wasn't ready to die yet," the Associated Press reports. All was fine with the flight as he crossed over Canada, but the plane's engine started to sputter over Michigan. He contacted flight officials in Lansing to tell them he was going down while the plane was at 3,000 feet, Trapp told local Fox affiliate WWNY. He crashed near Harbor Beach, 105 miles north of Detroit. "I just kept struggling and struggling," he said. He told reporters that he tried to use a credit card to reflect the sun to get the attention of nearby boats. "It's amazing what goes on in your mind when you're laying in water and you look up at the skies and watch the shooting stars and watch meteorites go round. Gives you time to realize what's important in life at that point ... Finally, at around 10:20am on Wednesday, Dean and Diane Petitpren, a couple from Grosse Pointe Farms near Detroit, saw him waving his sock in the water and took him aboard their yacht." [...]"  

"Mother Mistakes Small Gun for Cigarette Lighter, Daughter Wounded " [07/28/11] "Rachel Avila, 30, told police she and her 12-year-old daughter, both of Banning, were talking with friends in front of their mobile home in the 100 block of North Phillips Avenue when Avila found what she thought was a novelty cigarette lighter, police said. The lighter resembled a miniature firearm and it was lying on the ground, Avila told police. Avila picked it up and tried to light it by pulling the trigger, police said. The first time Avila pulled the trigger, nothing happened. The second time she pulled the trigger, a .22-caliber bullet was fired, police said. [...]"  

  Absurdities: "Grandmother Jailed After Motor Oil 'Mistaken' For Heroin By Canadian Border Guards" [07/28/11] "A Minnesota senior was jailed by Canadian border guards at a Manitoba port of entry after a jar containing some motor oil was mistaken for heroin. Janet Goodin, 66, a retired girl scout registrar and grandmother of 12, was on her way to Sprague, Man., from her home in Warroad, Minn., in April when she was questioned at the border, she told CBC News on Tuesday. The guards, with the Canada Border Services Agency, then searched her minivan and found a canning jar containing a dark liquid. A cursory test of the liquid 'convinced 'guards it was the 'illicit drug' and Goodin, who was heading to Canada to play bingo and visit her daughters, instead found herself heading to jail. She was handcuffed, arrested and charged with possession of a drug for the purpose of trafficking as well as importing a controlled substance. "I couldn't even think, I was so astounded," Goodin said. [...]" Note: Obviously, no one addresses the nature of a 'cursory test' ... they have a quota ... it's not about reality. It's about control and intimidation of the innocent.

Satire: "The Colbert Report" [07/27/11] HULU [21:40] Note: Good show... July 21, 2011.

"Five New York Nursing Schools Accused Of Robbing Students And Awarding Fake Credentials" [07/25/11] "Five nursing schools in Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island are accused of taking $6 million from students and granting them certifications not recognized by the U.S. According to the New York Post, some students studied for two years and paid up to $20,000 to receive training they thought would allow them to take the New York State Nursing Board Exam. [...]"  

"Some Small-Minded Arizonans Enraged At 'Muslim' Word For Dust Storm" [07/23/11] "Yet another example of the hysterical, small-minded stupidity of the people of the great state of Arizona made it to today's New York Times. With massive, dangerous dust storms sweeping through central Arizona, the populace is obviously very worried -- about MUSLIM WORDS. The blinding waves of brown particles, the most recent of which hit Phoenix on Monday, are caused by thunderstorms that emit gusts of wind, roiling the desert landscape. Use of the term “haboob,” which is what such storms have long been called in the Middle East, has rubbed some Arizona residents the wrong way. “I am insulted that local TV news crews are now calling this kind of storm a haboob,” Don Yonts, a resident of Gilbert, Ariz., wrote to The Arizona Republic after a particularly fierce, mile-high dust storm swept through the state on July 5. “How do they think our soldiers feel coming back to Arizona and hearing some Middle Eastern term?" [...]"  Note:  Guess where the real boob's live? Ignorant fools think this way. It's John McCain country, so what can one expect.

"Sour 'Lemon' Driver Returns To Dealer; 'I Didn't Hit A Car Under $20K'" [07/22/11] "Unhappy that a Lafayette Road car dealer wouldn't take back the van he bought on Monday, David Cross drove "the lemon" back after the dealer closed on Tuesday and crashed it into six cars parked on the lot for sale. "I hit the first $25,000 car I could see," Cross told the Herald. "I didn't hit a car under $20,000. Then I moved a van that they wouldn't come down on the price for. I moved it with the lemon they sold me. I just held it to the floor until I couldn't move it anymore. I took out seven vehicles, including my own." Cross, a Salisbury, Mass., resident who turns 42 today, is charged with six felony counts of criminal mischief, one for each of the cars he damaged, excluding his own. He said his story began on Monday, when his wife bought a van at the Portsmouth Used Car Superstore. "It was a piece of crap," Cross said, elaborating that his mechanic looked at the van after it was purchased and found a host of problems, including an odometer that didn't work. He said an Internet search showed it had been in a wreck and his insurance agent told him he couldn't insure it with a broken odometer, so he followed his mechanic's advice to "take it back." Cross said he went back to the car dealer, asked for a refund and was told "you're stuck with it." So he began negotiating the price for another van, but a salesman wouldn't budge, he said. He said he and his wife returned home in the van they bought Monday, and he waited for her to fall asleep. He then drove back to the car dealership just before midnight and started driving into cars.[...]"  

"Sinkhole In Guatemala Opens Up In Floor Of Bedroom" [07/21/11] "Here’s something you never want to hear: “That loud booming sound is coming from inside the house!” That’s what one Inocenta Hernandez from Guatemala City learned after a sudden noise caused her to run outside, thinking there had been an explosion nearby. When she realized the problem was inside her home, she returned to find a gaping, three feet wide, 40 feet deep sinkhole beneath her bed. Hernandez, 65, was relieved that the damage was only to her house, and hadn’t harmed her grandchildren, who had been playing near the bed. This was a little too close to home, but she couldn’t have been too surprised that a sinkhole had visited her city. Guatemala City is prone to spawning giant pits, which are often caused by tropical rain storms. Sinkholes are natural depressions in the earth that can range anywhere from a few feet to hundreds of acres wide, and measure a shallow foot to 100 feet deep. A massive chasm opened up in Guatemala City back in May 2010; it swallowed up whole buildings and an intersection. [...]"   Note: This is probably due to the presence of a long-abandoned well, due to the perfectly formed tube existing. It was probably covered over and at some point the layer covering the well gave way. 

PA: "Woman In Wheelchair Charged With DUI" [07/21/11] "Police said they first received a report of a woman crawling around a yard in the mobile home park at 4:23 a.m. When they arrived, Lebo was sitting in her motorized wheelchair and appeared drunk, police said. She told the police she had crashed the wheelchair, police said. Her blood alcohol level was .16, twice the legal limit for driving, police said. Police said it is rare to charge someone in a wheelchair with DUI, but they have charged people riding bicycles, horses and lawnmowers.  [...]"  

"Malaysian Businessman Just Spent $4.8 Billion On A Yacht Made Of Solid Gold" [07/20/11] "An anonymous Malaysian businessman just spent $4.8 billion on a superyacht covered in platinum and gold, making it the most expensive yacht ever sold, according to Luxury Launches. The boat, named the History Supreme, is the work of Stuart Hughes, a British purveyor of luxury gadgets. It took three years to complete and is covered in 100,000 kilograms of precious metals, according to The Daily Mail. The master bedroom is particularly lavish; it's adorned in platinum and has wall art made of meteoric stone and the bones of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Check out the pics: [...]"  

"Woman Pays $10,000 For 'Non-Visible' Work Of Art" [07/20/11] "Amy Davidson paid $10,000 for a piece of art that exists only in the artist's mind. She said she bought it because she identifies with the philosophy that in this new world we "exchange ideas and dreams as currency." [...]"  Note: Geeze. What a fruitcake.

FL: "Toddler Crawls Out Of Minivan While Mom Robs Bank" [07/20/11]   "The woman, who is addicted to prescription pain pills, left the bank with an undisclosed amount of cash. She then dropped the child off at a nearby day care and drove away — presumably to buy drugs. She was soon pulled over by police. (TampaBay.com) [...]"  

NJ: "FBI: N.J. Rabbi And Wife Kidnapped Israeli To Force Divorce" [07/20/11]   "A New Jersey rabbi and his wife surrendered to the FBI on Monday on charges that they abducted an Israeli man, beat him and threatened to bury him alive if he didn't give his wife a religious divorce. [...]" 

WA: "Woman In Court For Trying To Sell Baby At Taco Bell" [07/19/11] "Heidi Knowles, also known as Heidi Gasaway, approached a woman who was eating at a Taco Bell restaurant on Thursday, handed the woman her her 3-day-old son, and offered to sell the boy for $500. The woman called 9-1-1 and investigators later found Gasaway and her son at Kay's Motel on NE Highway 99. She was arrested for outstanding warrants and booked into the Clark Co. Jail, where she is being held on $50,000 bail. [...]"  

Anomalies: "Miss Nipple Foot" [07/19/11] " Clinical findings were consistent with the diagnosis of supernumerary breast tissue, also known as pseudomamma. [...]"

"Man Arrested After Trying To Steal From ATM Using Hatchet" [07/17/11]   "A city man wearing a hat, gloves and dark glasses tried unsuccessfully — by means of a hatchet, police said — to make an unauthorized cash withdrawal early Thursday morning from the ATM inside the lobby of Taunton Federal Credit Union’s main office at 14 Church Green. A credit union employee says that trying to break into an ATM machine — especially one that’s imbedded within a wall and not a free-standing kiosk — makes "absolutely no sense." Even if one were able to somehow break into the machine, he said, the actual cash would still be physically well out of reach. (Taunton Gazette) [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "California Man Gets Sucked Into Maui Blowhole" [07/17/11] "Witnesses who watched a Northern California man get sucked into a Maui blow hole to his apparent death say that the tourist was dancing around and frolicking in the sprays of water moments before a wave knocked him down.... The blowhole, which is featured in several travel websites, was created by pounding surf that undercut and wore away a lava shelf. Every wave pushes water and air through the hole, creating an eruption similar to a geyser. The Halona Blowhole on Oahu is another popular tourist attraction. [...] Erica Meyer, whose family is vacationing with Piganelli's family, recalled thinking that it was foolish for the man to be mere inches from the blow hole's opening. "We're watching it thinking it's crazy these guys are doing that," she told the AP. Potts stood in front of the blow hole with his back to the ocean when the wave hit, Meyer said. "It was very, very fast, within a matter of seconds." That's when chaos and screaming ensued.[...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Sausage Workers Life Comes To Grinding Halt" [07/17/11] "A 26-year-old sausage factory worker suffered a grisly end when he slipped and fell feet first into a meat grinder which chewed off his legs and killed him. Father-of-four Michael Raper was trapped from the waist down for two excruciating hours after he become entangled in the huge auger at the Bar S Foods plant in Lawton, Oklahoma. Amid gruesome scenes co-workers watched in horror before frantic emergency workers managed to cut the machine in half and free him. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "48 Years Apart: Lightning Strikes Kill Dad, Son" [07/16/11] "It was in a Hammonton backyard that 54-year-old Stephen Rooney was struck by lightning at a family barbeque July 3rd as he stepped away from the crowd to light a cigar. The party host, Rooney's cousin and next door neighbor, Funzi Digerolamo, says a giant bolt shook the yard.  [...]Just before he was hit, Rooney downplayed concerns about the lightning. "He had just said that lightning doesn't strike two people in one family right before it happened, not long before it happened, he said that," neighbor Paula Weisbecker said. Lightning is not supposed to strike twice, but in this case it did. Steve Rooney's father George was also killed by lightning 48 years ago when Steve was just a 5-year-old boy. The odds of this happening to a father and son are astronomical. Everyone is stunned that a bolt of lightning could claim them both, almost 5 decades apart. [...]"  

"Carlin On Terrorism & Airport Security" [7:46] Related:"Airline Announcements" [07/15/11] [8:35] Part 2 [8:12]  

"Man Accused Of Assaulting Flight Attendant With Peanuts, Pretzels" [07/14/11] "A Sandy, Utah man is charged in U.S. District Court with assaulting a flight attendant with bags of peanuts and pretzels after he was asked to stop using an electronic cigarette aboard a flight from Los Angeles to Salt Lake City this week. Pogos Paul Sefilian, 42, became combative on Southwest Airlines Flight 188, which departed Los Angeles at 6 p.m. on Monday, according to a complaint filed in federal court on Tuesday. Sefilian started using an electronic cigarette after boarding the plane. The device uses heat to simulate smoking tobacco-filled cigarettes with a vapor that is inhaled. A flight attendant spotted Sefilian with the electronic cigarette and informed him he couldn’t use it on the plane, the complaint states. Sefilian argued with the flight attendant, but stowed the device, according to the complaint. But after takeoff, he pulled it out and became enraged when the attendant again asked him to put it away, the complaint states. Later, he threw peanuts and pretzels at the flight attendant and at the flight deck door in an apparent attempt to protest the airline’s policy banning electronic cigarettes, the complaint states. The flight attendant asked Sefilian to stop his unruly behavior, but as the flight approached Salt Lake City International Airport, Sefilian jumped up and started opening overhead containers, the complaint states. The flight attendant made six announcements for Sefilian to sit down, but he refused, instead posturing his chest out at the flight crew, according to the complaint. FBI agents arrested Sefilian once the plane landed. [...]"  Note: Minionesque behavior, and raised by wolves.

"Sisters Sue After Mourning Mom At Wrong Gravesite For 20 Years" [07/13/11] "Last summer, when the sisters complained that the gravesite had fallen into disrepair, a cemetery employee looked up the file and told them that the body of a man occupies Grave No. 103 and that their mother was actually buried about 90 feet away.  [...]"  

"Intoxicated Men Take Dead Alligator Off-Roading" [07/13/11] "Authorities say three intoxicated men stole a 14-foot flattened and preserved alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and took it off-roading. The Livingston County Daily Press & Argus reports that 55-year-old Douglas Ward of Linden, 60-year-old Roy Griffith of Linden and 53-year-old John Sanborn of Harrison are charged with breaking and entering. The charges stem from a June 25 theft from a barn in Hartland Township, about 40 miles northwest of Detroit. Sheriff Bob Bezotte says the alligator's owner found tire tracks near his barn and followed them to a party in Deerfield Township where the men were driving their vehicles around in the mud. The men are due in Livingston County District Court July 20. [...]"  

"Rock Musician Uses Cell Phone Stickup Note In Robbery" [07/13/11]   "A musician, using a stickup note posted on his cell phone, robbed a Massachusetts pharmacy of prescription pain pills just hours before his scheduled rock concert, authorities said on Monday. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "US 'Russian Roulette' Player Dies" [07/12/11]   "A man in the US state of Colorado has died after shooting himself in the head during a game of Russian roulette, police said. Anthony Martin, 21, and other men were drinking and playing with a gun before the incident, Pueblo Police Sgt Eric Bravo told the Pueblo Chieftain. Investigators believe he did not know the gun was loaded, Sgt Bravo said. No arrests were made. [...]"  Note: What's Roulette without the Russian?  

Anomalies: "Owl Leaves Amazing Imprint On Window" [07/12/11]   "The bird had apparently crashed into the window of Sally Arnold's Kendal home, leaving the bizarre image - complete with eyes, beak and feathers. Experts said the silhouette was left by the bird's "powder down" - a substance protecting growing feathers. Mrs Arnold said she could find no sign of the owl, so assumed it had flown off without serious injury. [...]"  

Absurdities: "One-Armed Man Was Arrested In Belarus... For Clapping" [07/12/11] [1:04] Note: Clapping is now considered a form of protest.

"Mans House Trashed Mafia Style By Thugs Hired By Mortgage Company" [07/11/11] [2:08] "A Brooksville Florida man who fell behind on his mortgage payments had his home trashed and ransacked mafia style by paid thugs hired by his mortgage company. This stunning attack on multiple Constitutional rights is apparently not important enough for the local police who have claimed this is a civil suite. The Hernando Sheriff’s Office apparently has no interest in enforcing those laws… or burglary, breaking and entering and trespassing, either. They say it is a civil matter, even though everything from the house was taken or thrown in the dumpster. The wedding dress belonging to Boudreau’s wife was even cut to shreds. [...]"  

"Jilted Husband Built Electric Chair for Wife" [07/08/11] " When Andrew Castle's wife told him she wanted a divorce, he asked her to come and talk about it in the garage—where he had built her a special electric chair. The 61-year-old British man hit his wife in the head with a rubber club, intending to knock her unconscious before putting her in the metal armchair and turning on the juice. She fought back and fled outside, where a passer-by intervened when Castle chased her. He has been sentenced to 10 years in prison after pleading guilty to attempted murder, the Guardian reports. Police say that after his wife escaped, Castle tried to electrocute himself in his own contraption, and then slashed his wrists when it didn't work. "It was a distressing case. He intended to kill his wife and had set plans in place to do this," said an investigator. ''There was an electric cable and a lamp attached to that for electrocution purposes. It is rare for someone to attempt to kill their wife, or anyone, by these means." [...]" 

"Family Fined $750K for Fire That Burned Einstein Papers" [07/07/11]   "It’s safe to say that Margaret Pavese had no idea she would start a wildfire nearly twice the size of San Francisco when she left a trash fire burning in a metal barrel in 2007—a California wildfire that also burned rare papers written by Albert Einstein, the San Jose Mercury News reports. A jury found Pavese, her husband, and father-in-law guilty of negligence last week and ordered them to pay Dan Straus $750,000 for the loss of his documents. The papers were given to Straus' father, a mathematician who worked with Einstein, and included hand-written calculations on onionskin and an envelope. Pavese's father-in-law's attorney plans to seek a new trial, calling the award excessive. Pavese, a former school teacher, has already paid $200,000 to victims whose homes were damaged. [...]" 

Commentary: "A Well-Dressed Man" Steals Picasso From An Art Gallery And Escapes Into A Waiting Taxi" [07/06/11] "A "well-dressed man" walked into a San Francisco art gallery yesterday and walked out minutes later with a Picasso drawing worth $200,000. He then mysteriously disappeared into a waiting taxicab, according to Gawker (via SFGate) . The 1965 pencil drawing, "Tête de Femme (Head of a Woman)," is 10 5/8 by 8 1/4 inches, about the size of a piece of computer paper, SFGate reports. It was on display at the Weinstein Gallery in tourist-heavy Union Square, where it was hanging between a Chagall and a Dalí. The man, who is still on the loose, was described to police as a "white man about 6 feet tall, age 30 to 35, wearing a dark jacket, a white shirt, dark pants, large dark glasses and loafers with no socks." [...]"  

Natural World: "Monkeying Around, With Cameras" [07/06/11] [0:42] "Prize-winning British photographer David Slater traveled to an Indonesian island to track down a rare and endangered species: the Crested Black McCack. NBC's Brian Williams reports. (Nightly News) [...]"  Note: This is so cute, I had to put it up.

"Woman Charged After Kissing Preacher At Gay Pride Event" [07/05/11]   "The 74-year-old woman, who was charged with simple assault, says the preacher "was just waving his arms and had a Bible in one hand, up and down, and screaming at the top of his lungs, 'sodomites' and 'you're going to hell." She says she thought he needed a hug, so she gave him one.  [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "NY Motorcyclist Dies On Ride Protesting Helmet Law " [07/04/11] "Police say a motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate New York died after he flipped over the bike's handlebars and hit his head on the pavement. State troopers tell The Post-Standard of Syracuse that 55-year-old Philip A. Contos of Parish, N.Y., was driving a 1983 Harley Davidson with a group of bikers who were protesting helmet laws by not wearing helmets. Troopers say Contos hit his brakes and the motorcycle fishtailed. The bike spun out of control, and Contos toppled over the handlebars. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.[...]"  

"Toddler Falls 10 Stories—and Woman Catches Her" [07/04/11]   "A two-year-old Chinese girl left unattended fell 10 stories from her family's apartment window yesterday—and survived after being caught by a woman (Wu) passing by, state media reported today ... the toddler is in critical condition with internal bleeding and other unspecified injuries. The impact knocked Wu out and sent her crumbling to the ground along with breaking her left arm, the reports said.[...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Man Fatally Shoots Self During Gun Safety Demonstration" [06/30/11] "A police captain explains how the 23-year-old man died: "He was showing them how if the safety was on how you could pull the trigger and it wouldn't fire," Johnson said. "He had held it up to his head and pulled the trigger and it went 'click' but it didn't go off." He continued the demonstration despite his friends' protests and the gun fired on the second try. (Fayetteville Observer) [...]"  Note: Dumb as a stone.

"14 Ways To Get Fired From McDonald's" [06/30/11] "Jobs at McDonald's are defined by low wages, little training and high turnover rates. But what does it take to get canned from one of the company's 32,000 locations worldwide? Here's a collection of stories about employees that got fired from McDonald's that were reported and confirmed by the media. [...]"  Related: "15 Facts About McDonald's That Will Blow Your Mind" Note: Any time you really want to be cleaned out, eat some chicken nuggets ... those anti-foaming agents really do a great job.

"Run Over Twice, Still Not A Crime In Mississippi" [06/30/11]   "Mississippi is known for the blues, and given what the Starkville District Attorney has said about the case of involving Jan Morgan being hit by a car and then run over after the driver stopped to check on her, seems that there is good reason. As per the Starkville Daily News, the March 22nd accident report reads:  [...] the District Attorney has determined that no felony charges will be filed against the driver, as there is nothing on the Mississippi books specifically outlawing running down a cyclist, getting out of your car to see how they are doing, and then running them over again. [...] "  Note:  Black/white, flow-chart thinking, and unable to consider circumstance, and also stupid. You can't fix stupid.

"Idiots in Evening Gowns - These Miss USA 2011 Contestants Were The Most Stunning Of All" [06/28/11] [1:55] "Our jaws dropped when we heard their answers to the question, “Should evolution be taught in schools?” ... It’s worth noting that the winner, self-described science geek Alyssa Campanella from California, was one of the only two contestants who firmly support evolution being taught in schools.  [...]"  Note: Dumb as a stone, all of them, and dangerously stupid. Related:   "Miss USA Geeks Out Over Evolution"  

Satire: "Suicide And 13 Other Ways To Deal With Failure" [06/26/11]   "I’m really scared to stand in one place in Grand Central. Because then you hear all the people who are doomed rushing around you. But that’s where I was yesterday.  Two older guys in suits, red and brown ties, gray hair, glasses, balding, big noses, big guts, walking faster than they normally walk so they were out of breath, and saying, “hopefully Neogenetics will buy us after they meet us.” Trust me, they won’t. [...] PS – Note on Suicide: Suicide is no good and I’ll tell you why. Its really hard. Believe me, I’ve looked it up in every way. A friend of mine tried to kill himself once. He put a rifle in his mouth and fired. He blew out one eye and half the back of his head. He damaged his brain so he can’t walk. He’s totally disfigured now. And guess what? He married his nurse. He’s actually happy! Other ways to kill yourself don’t work. Pills can leave you brain damaged. They make pills pretty good now. If you take 1000 of them they don’t kill you, they just eat at your brain so its like you’re a permanent stroke victim. What else? Jumping out a window, you can just end up breaking every bone in your body and never walking again. Same for getting hit by a car. Only the lucky can kill themselves. And you’re a failure. So don’t think your luck is coming back so fast just so you can kill yourself. What about death by hanging? Here’s what can happen: you can break your neck and just sit there suffocating for 20 or 30 minutes. Thats a pretty slow painful death and if someone finds you then you’re in big trouble, you might be brain damaged and you can’t walk anymore. And your pants might be down if you were masturbating at the same time so that’s pretty embarrassing. Don’t be one of those statistics."    

"Cops Arrest Man Who Hid In Porta-Potty To Watch Women" [06/24/11]   "The 30-year-old was panhandling near a gas station. He had fled a yoga festival -- covered with feces -- after a woman spotted him in the toilet. (Boulder Daily Camera) [...]"  Note: Things are looking up. 

Concepts and Practices: "11 Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Morons" [06/24/11] Note: "Morons have become firmly embedded in the national unconsciousness this summer with the emergence of not one but two Moron presidential candidates in the 2012 Republican field — a surprising fact given that most Americans still associate the religion with sister wives and magic underwear. Nearly a quarter of voters say they wouldn't vote for a Moron president. [...] The main source of the church's wealth is a form of belief-based financial parasitism - tithing — Morons are required to give one-tenth of their annual income to the church in order to be 'allowed to pray' in the Temple. The church reportedly receives more than $5 billion in tithes every year."  

"Driver Stops After Hitting Boy On Bike -- But Only To Fetch Hubcap" [06/23/11] "If the accusations against Brittany Gonzales are accurate, she's got some highly questionable priorities. After hitting an eleven-year-old boy riding his bike, she allegedly stopped -- but only to pick up her hubcap. Witnesses who spoke to Fox31 say the boy was bleeding and wailing in the street near the intersection of Irving Street and Dakota Avenue on June 18 when Gonzales pulled over in her 1998 Toyota. But her focus wasn't on his apparent injuries. At first, she allegedly freaked out about her cell phone. Then she grabbed a hubcap that had come off at impact and took off again, leaving tire tracks and skid marks on the pavement and nearby lawns. She didn't get far. Someone who saw what happened trailed behind, getting a description of the car and the license plate number in the process. Cops soon picked her up near Alaska Place and Knox Court, at which time she reportedly admitted to having consumed four alcoholic drinks before sliding behind the wheel. Gonzales has been released on a $50,000 bond, but she's due in court on July 6 to hear the charges against her: vehicular assault, child abuse resulting in serious bodily injury, leaving the scene of an accident and DUI. [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Metal Pin From Dump Truck Killed Passenger On I-95 In Greenwich" [06/23/11]   "The metal object that killed a Waterbury woman while she was riding in a sport utility vehicle on Interstate 95 south in Greenwich on Saturday was a locking pin that likely flew off a one-ton dump truck, State Police said Wednesday. Investigators at Troop G in Bridgeport are trying to uncover what happened around 12:34 p.m. that led to the object smashing through the windshield of a 2003 Ford Escape and striking the victim, Sara Betancourt, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, according to Lt. J. Paul Vance, a state police spokesman. The crash occurred a mile north of exit 4. State police released photos of the metal object, known as a "dog's ear," Wednesday. [...]"  

China: "Chinese Boy Survives Sixth Floor Fall" [06/23/11] [0:24]  "A boy who fell from a sixth floor window in Quanzhou City has had a lucky escape after his head became trapped in the window's anti-theft bars. The boy dangled by his head for 10 minutes before his mother managed to pull him to safety. [...]"  Related:"Chinese Boy Rescued After Being Trapped Between Two Brick Walls" [0:55]  "Firefighters have helped free a five-year-old boy who was trapped in a 20cm gap between two brick walls in northern China. After his parents and locals were unable to free him, emergency workers tried widening the gap with an inflatable mattress and sprayed oil on the boy. He eventually managed to free himself. [...]" 

NC: "Bank Robber Planned Crime And Punishment" [06/21/11] "NC man robs bank for one dollar so he can get medical care. James Richard Verone woke up June 9 with a sense of anticipation. He took a shower. Ironed his shirt. Hailed a cab. Then robbed a bank. He wasn’t especially nervous. If anything, Verone said he was excited to finally execute his plan to gain access to free medical care. “I prepared myself for this,” Verone said from behind a thick glass window in the Gaston County Jail Thursday morning. Verone spoke calmly about the road that led him to a jail cell he shares with a young man arrested for stealing computers. The 59-year-old man apologized for squinting. He hadn’t gotten his eyeglasses returned to him since being arrested a week ago. He smiled from the other side of the glass, sometimes gesturing with his hands. A plastic, red bracelet with his mug shot clung to his left wrist. Until last week Verone had never been in trouble with the law. Now he hopes to be booked as a felon and held in prison where he can be treated for several physical afflictions. Verone worked for Coca-Cola for 17 years. He prided himself on keeping his nose to the grindstone. Don’t make enemies. Sell the product. Make your deliveries and stick to your schedule. When his career as a cola delivery man ended some three years ago, Verone was knocked out of his comfort zone. He hopped back in the saddle driving a truck. But that employment didn’t have near the longevity, and Verone found himself jobless. He lived off of savings and sought a part-time job .... and he refused to be a burden on his sister and brothers. “The pain was beyond the tolerance that I could accept,” he said. “I kind of hit a brick wall with everything.” [...] The day Verone set out to commit his first felony, he mailed a letter to The Gazette. He listed the return address as the Gaston County Jail. “When you receive this a bank robbery will have been committed by me. This robbery is being committed by me for one dollar,” he wrote. “I am of sound mind but not so much sound body.” Verone wanted to talk to a reporter to make sure people knew why he turned to crime. He figured he had nothing to lose. “I knew that a felony would not hurt me. I cannot work anymore,” he said. “That felony is going to hurt my reputation.” [...]"  

"Idaho State Senator Allegedly Steals SUV, Drives Drunk, Falls Asleep In Random Driveway" [06/20/11]   "John McGee, a four-term Republican state senator from Idaho, was arrested early Sunday morning on charges of grand theft and for driving under the influence. McGee, whose blood alcohol level was .15, allegedly told authorities he was on his way to Jackpot, Nev., a city about 180 miles southeast of Boise that's known for gaming. McGee, 38, represents District 10, an area of approximately 50,000 people in Southwest Idaho. He is the Idaho Senate GOP Caucus Chairman. According to the senator's website, he is also the chairman of the Senate Transportation Committee and was the 2006 Idaho State Republican Legislator of the Year. Additionally, he is chairman of the Regional Substance Abuse Authority Legislative Committee."

"GPS Leads Driver Into Lake" [06/20/11]   "Three women were in town for a conference and were searching for a hotel just after midnight when they drove down the darkened path. "They were trying to re-route their path and found this boat launch," says a local fireman. "[They] just kept driving into the water." The SUV was completely submerged when a tow truck arrived in the morning. Police don't suspect drugs or alcohol were a factor. "We've seen sitcom parodies of something like this," says the fireman. "To actually see it is surprising." [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Teen Fatally Shot Trying To Rob Off Duty Cop Dressed In Clown Suit" [06/19/11] "An off-duty Chicago police officer dressed up as a clown for a South Side fundraiser shot and killed a teen who held him at gunpoint tonight after the event, authorities said. The officer, who is assigned to the Near North police district, was in his clown outfit for a fundraiser for a day-care business. The event, attended by a group of 50 children, was near West 87th Street and South Damen Avenue. At 10:10 p.m. after the event ended, the officer went to his car and a teen approached him, asking him for money, authorities said. When the officer said he had no money, the teen pulled a gun on him, authorities said. During a struggle with the teen, the officer grabbed hold of the gun, opened fire and killed him. The officer sustained minor injuries, according to a release from police News Affairs. [...]"   

"Cops: Philly Mom Hires Hit Man on Facebook" [06/18/11] "Move over, boasting bank robbers—some new contenders for stupidest Facebook criminals have arrived. Police say Philadelphia mother Eley London, 20, sought and found a hit man on Facebook after an argument with her ex-boyfriend, reports the New York Daily News. "I will pay somebody a stack to kill my baby father," she posted on her profile. Tim Bynum, 18, agreed to carry out the hit for $1,000, according to investigators. "Say no more ... what he look like? ... Where he be at?" asked the would-be assassin, who posted a photograph of himself holding a gun, say cops. The intended victim's aunt, whom London had apparently forgotten was among her Facebook friends and could read her messages, informed police and both conspirators were arrested. A handgun with the serial numbers removed was found at Bynum's home. "It's shocking that people are just so stupid," said a police lieutenant. [...]"   

"Woman Uses Truck, Chain To Pull Down Front Of Rental Home" [06/16/11] "We heard all this noise in the middle of the night but didn't think anything about it," says 13-year old Marcus Todd, who lives next door to the home. "Then the next morning we all saw that the front of the house was gone. It was in great shape, too; they really kept it nice." The story doesn't say why the renter trashed the place. (Detroit News) [...]"  

Canada: "Tearful Cop Apologizes For Threatening To Taser Suspects' Testicles" [06/16/11] "A Toronto cop who threatened to Taser two burglary suspects in the testicles to force them to surrender a cohort wept on the witness stand Tuesday as he apologized to his victims. Const. Christopher Hominuk burst into tears at his sentencing hearing before Justice Hugh Fraser on Tuesday, while reading letters of apology. He said his judgment and behaviour was affected by a hypoglycemic incident, which is characterized by dangerously low blood sugar levels. An expert medical witness testified Tuesday that Hominuk’s actions were “compatible with hypoglycemic” events that can dramatically — but temporarily — alter a diabetic’s behaviour from gentle to aggressive. [...]"  

"Dalai Lama Mistakes Australian PM For A Man" [06/15/11]   "It may be just as well that the Dalai Lama has given up his political role after the revered Tibetan spiritual leader Tuesday referred to Australia's female prime minister as a man. Questioned on whether he was disappointed that Julia Gillard would not be meeting him during his visit, the globe-trotting icon replied: "No." "If your prime minister has some kind of spiritual interest then of course my meeting would be useful," he told reporters at Parliament House. "Otherwise, I have nothing to ask him. Also, you see, there's no point to seek advice from him." He was quickly corrected by one of his aides, who quietly said: "Her." "Oh, from her," the 75-year-old said with a laugh.  [...]"   

Canada: "Woman's Front Lawn Goes Missing..." [06/15/11]   "Denise Thompson had a beautiful front lawn, thick and green. It was where her four children and two dogs played, and where she drank coffee on sunny mornings. Then someone stole it. They didn’t even leave a note. “Now my place looks like I’m a farmer who just plowed and is ready to put their seeds down,” she said Monday. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Family Wants $5 Million Back from Lawyers, Saying They Won Case by Bribing a Judge" [06/14/11]   "The family of an EMT who died when his medical services helicopter crashed say their attorneys should forfeit their $5.2 million in legal fees because they won the case by bribing a state judge. One attorney, who is a former state representative, and the judge have both pleaded guilty to corruption charges. [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: "Chinese Man Saved By Own Leg In Fall From 10th Floor" [06/14/11] [0:29] "An elderly man who fell two floors from his 10th floor Beijing apartment while trying to clean his windows, was saved when his leg became caught in a window grill. Rescuers managed to pull the man to safety after persuading him to let go of the railings. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "The Rapture Preacher Suffers Stroke" [06/14/11] "Harold Camping, the evangelical preacher who rallied thousands of followers with a prophecy the world would end last month, has been admitted to hospital after suffering a stroke, a spokesman has said. [...]"  Note: I recall the character of the preacher in the film Poltergeist .... 'you're gonna die!!!' ... dumb as a stone.

Satire: "The Periodic Table Of Irrational Nonsense" [06/14/11] Note: Amusing, although some things are, of course, perfectly rational, in reality. Mouse over the different 'elements'. Remember that some people are seemingly raised by wolves and are irrationally and permanently skeptical of anything outside consensus reality. 

"Man Charged In 99-Cent Robbery Attempt" [06/14/11] "A Cook County judge set bail at $50,000 today for a man charged with displaying a handgun to a convenience store clerk who refused to give him 99 cents. According to court records, Christopher Tisley, 34, walked into a convenience store in the 2800 block of West Lawrence Avenue in the Ravenswood neighborhood around 3 a.m. Saturday and demanded the money. When the clerk refused, he displayed a gun. Tisley, of the 5800 block of South Morgan Street, exited the store after a customer walked in, allowing the clerk to lock the door. Tisley then returned and repeatedly pounded on the windows of the store, court records state. [...]"   

"Man Tries To Steal Copper Wire From Electrical Substation" [06/14/11] " A man was electrocuted Sunday night in Madison County while, police suspect, he was attempting to steal copper wire. Three witnesses stated they were driving in Alton, Ill., when they saw the man screaming for help, badly burned and bleeding. Emergency medical personnel and police responded, and the man was transported to Alton Memorial Hospital before being airlifted to a St. Louis area hospital. The Madison County Sheriff’s Office says evidence suggests the man was trying to steal copper wire from an Ameren IP Substation. The case is still under investigation. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Bizarre Vanished House Case Can Head to Trial" [06/14/11] "A property company cannot dismiss a complaint filed by a man who discovered that his newly purchased house had been demolished, a federal judge ruled in a decision that says, "'A man's house is his castle,' even if others do not perceive it as such." Azzam said he bought a two-story home in northeast D.C. from CitiMortgage and lived at another residence while he waited on renovation permits. He says he moved up to $20,000 worth of personal property into the house. But when he stopped by the property to check on it last October, he said he found that it had vanished. A local mail carrier told him that a work crew, allegedly Rightway Development, had torn down the house. Azzam's claims of trespass, conversion, negligence and infliction of emotional distress will now proceed to trial in which Azzam can also seek punitive damages.  [...]"  

"Margarita Island: Venezuela’s Party Prison" [06/11/11] "Suppose prison was fun? Venezuela’s San Antonio prison houses 2,000 convicts, including many foreigners from around the globe, mostly convicted on drug charges. They can do anything they want, except leave — there are pool halls, dance parties, swimming, drugs, guns, gender mixing and unlimited visitors. Crazy, yes, but is it any worse than what we have here? The New York Times reports: Bikini-clad female visitors frolic under the Caribbean sun in an outdoor pool. Marijuana smoke flavors the air. Reggaetón booms from a club filled with grinding couples. Prisoners barbecue meat while sipping whisky poolside. In some cells, equipped with air-conditioning and DirecTV satellite dishes, inmates relax with wives or girlfriends. (Venezuela, like other Latin American countries, allows conjugal visits.) The children of some inmates swim in one of the prison’s four pools. [...]"   

"30-Minute Brawl Breaks Out at 30K Feet" [06/11/11] "Apparently, there's a Mile-High Fight Club, too. A half-hour brawl broke out among as many as 12 British vacationers aboard a Virgin flight from England to Barbados, reports the Daily Mail. The passengers—dressed for "a special occasion" and believed to have been intoxicated—had to be separated by other fliers and crew. A witness says the trouble started about halfway through the eight-hour flight, as a woman apparently took offense to another passenger's use of profanity. "A woman shouted, 'You swore in front of my child,'" says a witness. "She said it about six times, each louder than the last one. She said, 'And it's my birthday.' Before I knew it they were throwing punches and jumping on each other. It was vicious. It was frightening. There were punches going off in all directions." It took 30 minutes to get things under control, after which all passengers were ordered to stay in their seats for the remainder of the flight—with bathroom breaks after two hours. Police greeted the brawlers, one of whom reportedly had a black eye, upon arrival in Barbados. [...]"  

"Man Threatens Party Host With Gun After His Kids Don't Get Cake" [06/09/11]   "The father became upset and began yelling at the party-thrower because "Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake." He left the party,then returned with a small black handgun and told the host: "I ain’t scared to go to jail, just take care of my kids." (Memphis Commercial Appeal) [...]"  

"Man With Dead Weasel Accused Of Assault" [06/09/11] "Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state. The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled. The attacker was apparently looking for his girlfriend and had gone to her former boyfriend's apartment Monday where the victim was a guest. KXRO reports he left the carcass behind. Police later found the 33-year-old Hoquiam man arguing with his girlfriend at another location and arrested him after a fight. He said he had found the marten dead near Hoquiam, but police don't know why he carried it with him. A marten is a member of the weasel family. [...]"  

"Department Of Education: Raid Of California Man's Home Was Not Related To Defaulted Student Loans" [06/08/11] "The Department of Education is disputing a local news report that it sent a S.W.A.T. team to knock down the door and search the house of an individual because he defaulted on student loans. The initial report said the U.S. Department of Education "issued the search and called in the S.W.A.T for his wife's defaulted student loans," although that story has since been taken down and replaced with an updated version that did not contain the claim about the raid being connected to student loans. Department of Education Press Secretary Justin Hamilton confirmed to The Huffington Post that the agency's Office of the Inspector General (OIG) did indeed order the action, although he said it was not about an issue over student loans in default. "While it was reported in local media that the search was related to a defaulted student loan, that is incorrect," Hamilton said. "This is related to a criminal investigation. The Inspector General’s Office does not execute search warrants for late loan payments. Because this is an ongoing criminal investigation, we can’t comment on the specifics of the case. We can say that the OIG’s office conducts about 30-35 search warrants a year on issues such as bribery, fraud, and embezzlement of federal student aid funds." Wright said all he wants is an "apology for me and my kids and for them to get me a new door.""[...]"  Related:  "Education Officials Break Down Stockton Man’s Door" [06/08/11]   | Flashback: "Education Department Buying 27 Shotguns" [03/11/10]   Note: A large over-reaction for supposedly seeking a relative who wasn't there, suspected of a non-violent action. 

"Woman Locked Out Of Car Sets Hillside On Fire To Get Help" [06/07/11] "A Fresno woman was arrested early Friday after she set a half acre of brush on fire to attract help getting inside her locked car north of Santa Clarita, according to the sheriff's office. Jena Liberty, 48, had locked her keys in the car near the Golden State (5) Freeway and Highway 138 at about 4 a.m., said Lt. Joe Efflandt of the Santa Clarita Sheriff's Station. She tried to use a freeway callbox, but said it was disconnected, Efflandt said. "To get attention, she decided to set the hillside on fire," Efflandt said. "And she got our attention." The fire burned about a half-acre of brush before it was quickly put out by firefighters. No injuries were reported. Liberty, who was on her way to Manhattan Beach, was arrested and booked on suspicion of arson, Efflandt said. (Los Angeles Daily News) [...]"   

"Woman Hurt By Falling Grave Marker During Cemetery Sexcapade" [06/06/11] "The woman was with a male friend in the graveyard just before 7 p.m., visiting the grave of a relative when they decided to engage in some “extracurricular activities,," says a cop. One of the grave markers rolled onto the woman's leg during their hanky-panky. (NJ.com) [...]"  Note: Must have been an earth-shaking experience.

Date With Destiny: "Couple Killed After Visiting All 50 States" [06/06/11]   "Friends say a Connecticut couple completed their quest to visit every state in the country before they were killed crossing a road in Ohio. Longtime friends say that Keith and Doreen Rodgers of Manchester, Conn., had just finished the last leg of their 50-state quest by visiting Indiana, Pennsylvania, Illinois, and Ohio. The natives of England were killed Saturday when they were struck by a minivan in Liberty Township, Ohio. The driver whose vehicle struck them has not been charged; the accident remains under investigation. Police say that Keith Rodgers, 73, died at the scene and that Doreen Rodgers, 71, died later at a local hospital.  [...]"   

Bytes and Bits:  "1,500 Show Up After Girl Forgets To Set Facebook Party As Private" [06/06/11] "A teenage girl in Germany who forgot to mark her birthday invitation as private on Facebook fled her own party when more than 1,500 guests showed up and around 100 police officers, some on horses, were needed to keep the crowd under control. Eleven people were temporarily detained, one police officer was injured, dozens of girls wearing flip-flops cut their feet on broken glass and firefighters had to extinguish two small fires at the 16th birthday party in Hamburg, police spokesman Mirko Streiber said Sunday. The birthday girl, identified only as Thessa, went into hiding, Streiber said, but "nonetheless the party was a hit." Thessa had initially only wanted to ask some friends over to her home in Hamburg-Bramfeld when she posted her invitation on Facebook, but mistakenly she published it so that everyone on Facebook could see it. The invitation quickly went viral, and some 15,000 people confirmed online they would come to the party – without even knowing the girl, weekly paper Bild am Sonntag reported. [...]"  

"Dating Do's & Don'ts: Creepy 1949 Instructional Film For Teens" [06/06/11]  [12:26] "Back in 1949, teens had Kodachrome movies to teach them about every aspect of their social lives. This one features a young man by the name of Woody going on his first date, and it presents all sorts of helpful tips along the way. Tip number 1: Pretty girls are awful human beings. Tip number 2: Homely girls are fun and cheap. [...]"  Note: Woody learns not to get a 'woody' on a date in 1949. 

"Hypnotist's On-Stage Injury Leaves Three Audience Members in a Trance" [06/05/11] "England -- A British hypnotist's subjects were temporarily left in a trance when he was knocked unconscious during a show, the Dorset Echo reported Saturday. David Days was performing a hypnotism demonstration Friday night in Portland, in the south of England, when he tripped over an audience member's leg and was knocked unconscious by the fall. When he fell, Days was in the process of bringing three volunteers from the audience out of a hypnotic trance. Audience members initially believed the fall was part of the act and reportedly applauded. But they were then asked to clear the theater while the three volunteers on stage remained in a trance.  Days' manager said the incident "damaged his ego a bit," but he was otherwise fine Saturday. [...]" 

"Law School Grad Can't Find Job, Sues College for $50M" [06/04/11] "At least she's found some use for her education. A 2008 graduate of San Diego's Thomas Jefferson School of Law is suing her alma mater for $50 million because she hasn't secured a full-time job as an attorney. She alleges the college falsified its post-graduate employment statistics, reports 760 KFMB-AM. The former student—who graduated with honors and passed the bar on her first try—says she attended the school because of its reported 70% post-grad employment rate. According to the lawsuit, the plaintiff—who works as a freelance document reviewer—has been "unable to secure a full-time job as an attorney that pays more than non-legal jobs available to her," and she would "not have attended TJSL and incurred more than $150,000 in school loans if she knew the truth about her job prospects upon graduation." The school denies the claim of false advertising, and a dean says it isn't the duty of the college to find jobs for graduates. "It is the responsibility of the person who is paying so much for an education to figure out what they're going to be able to do with it," she says. "I guess it's a very expensive life lesson." Click to read one view that law school is a bad investment. [...]"  

Concepts and Practices: "Thailand to Tourists: Quit It With the Buddha Tattoos" [06/04/11] "Thailand's foreign tourists should be barred from getting Buddhist tattoos while visiting because the practice is culturally insensitive, says the country's culture ministry. Residents have complained that tattoo parlors are etching pictures of Buddha and other religious images onto the skin of non-Buddhist visitors across the country. Thailand is mostly Buddhist, and Buddha statues and images here are considered sacred objects of worship—but "foreigners see these tattoos as a fashion," says the cultural minister.  [...]" 

"Calif. Cops Discover 2nd 'Familycide' in 8 Days" [06/04/11] " California police believe they've found another case of a family wiped out in a murder-suicide—the second such tragedy in eight days, reports the AP. The discovery of the body of a man who apparently leaped to his death from a highway overpass near San Diego led investigators to a home where the corpses of his lover and her two young children were found. Just last week a man, his wife, and their two daughters were found drowned in the pool and bathtub of their San Diego home in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide likely carried out by the father.  [...]"  

Concepts and Practices: "German Doctors Pitch Gay 'Treatments'" [06/04/11] " A group of doctors in Germany is catching heat for advertising homosexuality treatments on its website. The Union of Catholic Physicians offers "homeopathic dilutions," psychotherapy, and sugar pills to keep “inclinations” at bay, reports Der Spiegel. The group acknowledges that homosexuality is not an illness, but “we know about a number of people with homosexual feelings who find themselves in a spiritual and psychological emergency and suffer greatly," explains the lead doctor. The Lesbian and Gay Federation in Germany calls the treatments “dangerous” and "laughable." A spokeswoman adds, "All serious experts agree that sexual orientation is already evident in early childhood.” Der Spiegel notes that homosexuality was officially removed from the World Health Organization’s International Code of Diseases 18 years ago. [...]"   

"Trenton Barber Is Accused Of Biting Customer's Ear In Half After Complaint About Slow Haircut" [06/04/11] "A Trenton barber was arrested Thursday afternoon after allegedly biting a customer’s ear in half following a dispute over how long a haircut was taking, police said. James Dillard, 40, was at work inside the Beauty and the Beast Barber Shop on the 700 block of Chambers Street around 5:30 p.m. In his barber chair was a 24-year-old city man. Dillard and his client began arguing about how fast Dillard was cutting the hair, and the client decided to get up and leave the shop, police said. The client slammed the barbershop’s front door behind him, causing the glass in it to shatter. In response, Dillard rushed outside and confronted the young man, police said. The two began to fight, and during the struggle Dillard bit the 24-year-old’s ear nearly in half, police said. [...]"    

Date With Destiny: "Indiana Co. Amish Woman Dies After Laundry Accident" [06/04/11]   "An Amish woman from Indiana County died this week after an accident while she was doing laundry. Ella Miller, 32, was doing laundry in a pot over an open flame early Monday morning. State police say she threw some kerosene on the fire in an attempt to intensify the heat, but that caused an explosion which caught her clothing on fire. [...]"  Note: She was successful in intensifying the heat. 

MO: "Police: Wildlife Officials Told Them to Shoot Concrete Gator" [06/03/11] "A report of a wandering alligator in the woods is what lead Independence Police officers to shoot at a concrete lawn ornament over the weekend, according to a statement released by police this week. Rick Sheridan was working in his garage when he heard gunshots, and said he found officers lined up on the bank, shooting at the large reptile. "The officer fired two rounds, and killed my concrete, ornamental alligator," Sheridan said. According to the police statement, when police located the alligator in a wooded area, an officer fired two shots before realizing the animal was really made out of concrete. When police contacted Sheridan, they apologized and Sheridan said he had placed the alligator there to keep kids off his property. The officers advised Sheridan to use "No Trespassing" signs instead. Sheridan told FOX 4 News that he did not put the fake gator there to scare kids, but that he did not want kids and others trespassing on his property, which he says has been a problem. He also tells FOX 4 that he has repeatedly posted "No Tresspassing" signs, but that they were taken down by vandals. Sheridan also says with a laugh that the incident has given him some notoriety around town. "I walked into a hardware store, and two gals said 'Look there, that's the alligator guy'," said Sheridan.[...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Death Fall On Subway" [06/03/11] "An aspiring doctor was killed in a horrific subway accident yesterday when she passed out on a sweltering Upper East Side platform and fell onto the tracks -- realizing what happened too late to escape an uptown train bearing down on her. Fatoumata Binta Amina Diallo, 21, "was cut in half," said one shocked witness. Diallo fainted at around 3 p.m. at the 77th Street/Lexington Avenue station, which was filled with schoolkids on their way home, said transit and police sources. The Bronx woman had been returning from a dental appointment, said her family.  Diallo came to after falling onto the rail bed, and desperately tried to get out of the way of the No. 6 train by scrambling to the area between the north- and southbound tracks. But she couldn't move fast enough. She was pronounced dead at the scene. [...]"    

Absurdities: "Cops Ignore Dying Man Due To Policy Restrictions" [06/02/11] [3:05] "Due to procedures rules and regulations that some fat ass bureaucrat wrote sitting in his armchair inside his office , Cops in northern California watched a drowning man in the water for an hour and could not go to rescue him because of rules regulations and procedures they were just following the rules by the book ! people on uniform have become mindless drones without a shred of humanity they execute the orders but they cannot think for themselves ...people should wake up to the facts that procedures rules and regulations won't protect us , we do not need more procedures rules and regulations we need more common sense  [...]"  Note:  With sequentials firmly in charge ... all they care about is their survival in a power hierarchy.

Date With Destiny: "Russian Who Buried Himself Alive Dies By Mistake" [06/02/11] "A superstitious Russian has died after persuading a friend to bury him alive for a night, hoping it would bring him good luck, investigators said. The victim dug a hole in a garden in the eastern city of Blagoveshchensk and climbed into an improvised coffin, with holes for air pipes, taking a mobile phone and a bottle of water with him. His friend covered the coffin with earth and then left, after the buried man phoned to say he was fine. The next morning, he returned to find his friend dead, investigators said. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Woman Dies After Being Swept Over Niagara Falls" [06/02/11]   "Authorities say they've recovered the body of a woman who appeared to be swimming in the Niagara River before being swept over the brink of Niagara Falls. Officials say tourists on the Canadian side of the river reported seeing the woman in the water above the falls around 4:30 p.m. Tuesday. Witnesses on the Maid of the Mist tour boat told WIVB-TV in Buffalo that they saw her go over the falls. When a rescue boat reached her in the river below, she was dead. No information on the woman has been released by Canadian authorities and it isn't clear how she ended up in the water. [...]"     

"Man Blabs On Phone That He's Wanted, Is Arrested" [06/01/11]   "The Wicomico County Sheriff's Office said a man who talked loudly in his motel room about being a fugitive was arrested after other guests turned him in. It happened early Tuesday at the Traveler's Motel in Delmar. Deputies said guests there heard a man yelling during a phone conversation that there was a warrant for his arrest and called police. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Girl Stoned To Death In Ukraine After Taking Part In Beauty Contest" [06/01/11] "The body of 19-year-old Katya Koren was found dumped in a forest on the Crimean peninsula a week after she went missing amid suggestions that she had been 'punished' for flouting Sharia law. Police said that Miss Koren, a former participant in regional heats of the Miss Ukraine beauty pageant, had suffered multiple blows to the head inflicted by one or more stones or rocks. There were conflicting reports of how and why she was murdered. Some local newspapers claimed she had been stoned to death by hardline Muslims upset by her participation in the beauty contest and that police had three suspects in their sights.  The area is home to more than 250,000 Muslim Crimean Tatars, and although there has been mob violence in the past sparked by perceived historical injustices, cases of Sharia punishment being meted out by stoning are unheard of. Police said the main suspect, 16-year-old Bihal Gaziev, had a long history of mental health problems and was already in custody. He is understood to have confessed amid reports from his village suggesting he had developed an unhealthy and unrequited obsession with Miss Koren. Some local media quoted him saying that he killed her to enforce Sharia law and had no regrets, while others said he had confessed to the killing but had been unable to explain his motives. He is now undergoing a series of tests to see whether he is of sound mind or not. [...]"  Note: Using a belief system to excuse a murder is as old as the hills ... and immature and childlike. Dumb as a stone.

"Denture Ricochet Saves Man's Life" [05/31/11]   "Brazilian man shot in the face escaped death when the bullet ricocheted off his dentures. The bullet fired at Zacarias Pacheco de Moraes, 81, would have pierced his brain if it hadn't first hit his dentures before lodging in his throat, a hospital official said. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Model Dead After Falling Out Window on 30th Birthday" [05/30/11]   [0:00] " Aspiring model LaShawna Threatt’s 30th birthday turned tragic yesterday when she plunged from the 10th story window of an Atlanta hotel. Threatt, mom to a 15-year-old girl, was “play fighting” with Ciara Williams at her birthday party when they crashed through a thick window at around 3:15am, police say. Threatt died after landing on a sunroof four or five stories down; Williams rolled off the sunroof and fell another 20 feet.  [...]"   

"California Lawmakers Kill Measure Banning Gifts To Themselves" [05/29/11] "Companies lobbying state lawmakers for favorable treatment can continue to shower them with tickets to Disneyland, Dodgers games and rock concerts after legislators scuttled a bill Thursday that would have banned such gifts. [...]" 

Bites and Bits: "Pope’s Adviser On Pedophilia Scandals Arrested on Pedophilia and Drug Charges" [05/27/11] "The latest sex-abuse case to rock the Catholic Church is unfolding in the archdiocese of an influential Italian Cardinal who has been working with Pope Benedict XVI on reforms to respond to prior scandals of pedophile priests. Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51-year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday, May 13, on pedophilia and drug charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile-phone conversations, Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. “I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues,” he allegedly said. Genoa Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco, who is the head of the Italian Bishops Conference, had been working with Benedict to establish a tough new worldwide policy, released this week, on how bishops should handle accusations of priestly sex abuse. [...]"   Note: Lends a whole new meaning to  appointing 'experts'.

"Teen Girl Shoots Dad with Arrow After Losing Cell Phone Privileges" [05/27/11]   "Police in Washington state have arrested a teenage girl for allegedly shooting her dad with an arrow after he took her cell phone away. Mason County detective William Adam said the man told officers that his 15-year-old daughter used a hunting bow to shoot him Wednesday evening after he grounded her and took the phone. After being shot, he allegedly had to crawl to a neighbor’s house to call 911, because she wouldn’t let him use the phone, KOMO-TV reported. [...]"  

"Nude Driver Plows Dump Truck Into Home, Picks Fight With Resident" [05/27/11] "A Lovell man faces numerous charges after allegedly driving a dump truck into a South Berwick home Wednesday night while naked then picking a fight with the resident. The resident and his 7-year-old son were sleeping in a nearby bedroom. "The front of the truck came to rest less than 15 feet from the bed," South Berwiick Police Chief Dana Lajoie said. "It went through the kitchen and damaged the bedroom wall." Police say Hutchins immediately attacked the resident, whose name was not released. The resident responded by hitting Hutchins twice in the head with a hammer, police said."  

"Ten-Year-Old Boy Drags 6-Foot Alligator Home From Nearby Canal" [05/27/11] "The kid got a stern talk from his grandfather and wildlife officers. They told the boy that if he was older, he would have been arrested and charged with a felony. (Florida Today) [...]"  Note:  "6 Foot Alligator Drags Ten Year Old Boy From Home to Nearby Canal" sounds like a scenario that may have been more arresting.

"Woman Found Dead In Own Food Barrel" [05/27/11]   "Yelm, Washington. The Thurston County Sheriff’s Office is investigating the death of a Yelm woman found in a barrel Tuesday. Barrels were being used to store food and were buried in the ground up to lid. The woman was found in one of the open barrels head first. There were no signs of foul play, said Thurston County Sheriff spokeswoman Cheryl Stines. Police believe the woman, who’s in her early 50s, was working and fell. An autopsy is being conducted this morning. The woman’s identity has not been released. [...]"  Note: Yeah, another lost soul from a local metaphysical school who became 'one with her own food storage'. Irony. 

"Man Builds Airplane In Basement, Then Can't Get It Out" [05/27/11] "Everyone has a little side-project that keeps them busy over the years, but a Cumberland County man’s side project could no longer fit inside his house. A Vans RV7A low-wing two-seater was mailed in pieces, and over the last nine years he diligently put them all together. The neighborhood came out to watch the unconventional way the man decided to solve his problem. He thought about building a glass floor so visitors to the home could see the airplane sitting in the basement. His wife rejected that, so he settled on dismantling the basement wall .... “Now that this project is complete, Reeves hinted he may start on another plane in his basement. (WGAL.com) [...]" 

"Iowa Tavern Owners Defend Mice-Racing After Being Ticketed" [05/27/11] "We don't consider it gambling at all. It's just people having fun," says the bar owner. "It's not like they are getting ate (sic), if you're a loser you die. Not like that at all." (WQAD.com) [...]"  

"Lone "Mile High Club" Member Busted on United Flight" [05/26/11] " A Florida man who apparently became a solo member of the Mile High Club on a United Airlines flight is facing obscenity charges. An 18-year-old woman in the seat next to Kyle Pearce told investigators that she saw him masturbate, according to an FBI affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun. "My friend Zach turned to me and said, ‘That man is masturbating’ and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis and he was," another witness said. "I hit him with my book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom." Pearce, 25, was arrested when the plane landed in Colorado. He faces a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $5,000 fine if convicted of "obscene and indecent exposure of his person." [...]"  Note: .. these are cartoon people, virtually ... what a collection of loons.

"Councilman Goes Ballistic At Waffle House, Throws Food And Coffee" [05/26/11] "The same politician made a stink last year after he claimed he lost his city-owned cell phone at the same Waffle House and accused a homeless woman of stealing it. (WWW.13maz.com) [...]"  

"Lawyer Objects To Buxom Woman Sitting At Trial Table" [05/25/11] "He says the sole purpose for her being there "is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings" -- a small-claims dispute over a used car. ( [...]"  Note: And over a used woman, apparently.

Absurdities: "Woman Accused Of Trying To Sell Girl's Virginity for $10K" [05/24/11]   "A Salt Lake City woman has been charged with offering her 13-year-old daughter's virginity to a man for $10,000. The 32-year-old woman was charged Monday in Utah's 3rd District Court with two first-degree felony counts of aggravated sex abuse of a child and two second-degree felony counts of sexual exploitation of a minor. If convicted, the woman faces a lifetime prison sentence for each first-degree felony and a zero to 15 year sentence for each second-degree felony. In court papers, prosecutors allege that the woman had discussed letting her daughter perform oral sex and other sex acts with an adult male. The negotiated offer and an arrangement to exchange the teen's virginity for money were detailed in a string of text messages which were seen by the woman's boyfriend, who called police, court papers say. [...]"  Note:  Another one raised by wolves.

"Bulgaria's Black Market In Blood Is Flourishing" [05/24/11] " Her 85-year-old husband needed immediate surgery but doctors told her to find blood for the operation herself. So Slavka Petrova swallowed her anguish and went to haggle on the black market outside the national blood clinic. It's a grim reality for patients and families in Bulgaria, a struggling EU nation where donors are troublingly scarce, hospitals are strapped for funds and blood traders — mainly Gypsy, or Roma, men — are thriving. Trading in blood and blood products is illegal in Bulgaria, punishable by a fine of up to €5,000 ($7,100). But lawyers say it's difficult to prove an illegal blood transaction because that requires an official complaint lodged by the person who pays the donor — and families are so desperate they consider the black market blood donors lifesavers. In the streets around the blood clinic, a dozen men sit smoking on benches or in cafes, on the alert for people in need. They don't have to wait long. [...]"  Note:  Does this make some in neighboring Romania, on a moonlit night, a little anxious? 

Bites and Bits: "New Zealand Casino Staff Forced To Wear Flea Collars to Keep Blood Suckers At Bay" [05/24/11] "Workers at the casino in New Zealand's largest city have been forced to wear flea collars to work in a bid to ward off the blood-sucking critters, the New Zealand Herald reported Tuesday. The alarming report follows news of similar infestations forcing nurses at some Auckland hospitals to adopt a similar course of action in December -- sparking a warning from health authorities against humans wearing the pet collars, which emit toxins. Employees at SkyCity Casino were spraying themselves with insect repellent and wearing pet flea collars around their ankles to ward off fleas, according to Unite Union national director Mike Treen. He said staff had been complaining about infestations on the casino floor "for years" and that although the business had been undertaking a cleaning process, "it doesn't seem to be working." SkyCity management told The NZ Herald the casino floors were cleaned every day and it was not aware of any complaints about insect bites. The facility, which also features a convention center, bars, restaurants and hotels, is the only casino in Auckland. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Wife of British Diplomat Plunges to Death in New York City" [05/24/11] "The wife of a British diplomat has died in an apparent suicide plunge from the roof of her New York City apartment building. Police say 46-year-old Catherine Hurd jumped from the roof of her building on East 84th Street in Manhattan early Saturday. She was pronounced dead at a hospital. Hurd's husband, Thomas, is a member of the British Mission to the United Nations.The New York Post reports that neighbors described Catherine Hurd as a happy mother of five. She was set to return home to England next week when her husband's mission ended. [...]"  

Frontiers of Mental Health: "Man Burned After Prayer Group Dispute" [05/24/11] "Aron Rottenberg is recovering at Westchester Medical Center with burns on 50 percent of his body. The pain is excruciating, his family says. He was burned when he and his son wrestled with a would-be arsonist who on 4 a.m. Sunday had placed flammable rags on Rottenberg's wooden back porch in New Square and tried to light them, according to police. Four hours later, cops arrested Shaul Spitzer, 18, who lives nearby. He had burns on his hands. He was charged with arson, attempted murder, and assault. Moshe Elbaum, the victim's son-in-law, said Rottenberg's problems began after he started a prayer group in the Friedwald Center instead of the main synagogue of the Skver Hasidim, a block away. Elbaum said that last year the rabbi of the synagogue, David Twersky, announced no one should pray outside the main synagogue. [...]"  Note: Bad town = Rotten Burg

"Armageddon-Proof: Arks & Bunkers Back In Demand" [05/24/11]   [2:31] "After the Fukushima crisis, there have been calls to test nuclear power plants against earthquakes and floods. Recent disasters across the world have raised safety concerns and Russian inventors could soon be cashing in on those fears.  [...]"   

"When Doomsday Isn't, Believers Struggle to Cope" [05/23/11] "If you're reading this, Harold Camping's predictions that the end of the world would start Saturday (May 21) failed to pan out. That's good news for most of us, but Camping and his followers were looking forward to the end. After all, they believed that they were likely to be among the 200 million souls sent to live in paradise forever. So how do believers cope when their doomsday predictions fail? [...]"  Related: "Believers' Reactions Mixed To Unfulfilled Doomsday" |"U.S. Broadcaster Silent As "Judgment Day" Hours Tick By" |"Harold Camping's Family Radio Goes Quiet" [05/22/11]

Frontiers of Mental Health: "May 21 Doomsday Pictures: 11 End-of-the-World Predictions" [05/21/11] Related:  "Religious Group Says World to End May 21"   "...group in the US claims to have deciphered the bible and is warning that the world will end this weekend. [...]" | "Make My Bed? But You Say the World’s Ending" "A prophecy that Saturday is Judgment Day, and the start of the five-month end of the world, is dividing families. [...]" "At Apocalypse Central, Preparing for What Happens, or Doesn’t"  Note: That the world will get even more screwed up before the end of the year is obvious ... piggybacking this stuff onto the natural course of socio-political events is a cheap trick indeed. So, all these people will not do anything meaningful for the next five months except to annoy us. I suppose they do themselves in, just so they can say the rest of us will technically be 'left behind' ... dumb as a box of rocks, these people. They'll be with each other. Now THAT's Hell!  "Rapture Flowchart"  

"Woman Threatens Dairy Queen Employees with a Grenade" [05/21/11]   "Police say a homeless woman entered a Dairy Queen restaurant and threatened employees with a grenade. When 30-year-old Renee Deshaies attempted to leave the scene near Olive and Main Street, she still had the grenade in her hand. The victims believed the grenade was real and feared for their safety. Police say the grenade was not real and was only used for training purposes. When Deshaies was interviewed, she believed it was real. Deshaies faces disorderly conduct and misconduct with a simulated explosive charges.[...]"   

"Louisville Woman Pulls Sword At Pizza Hut" [05/21/11]   "Police say a woman involved in an argument at a Louisville Pizza Hut raised the stakes considerably when she tried to pull a sword. [...]"  

"Man Gracefully Disembarks From Tumbling Jeep" [05/21/11] [0:28]  Good timing.

"Woman's Leg Severed By Flying Pressure Cooker" [05/20/11]   "..."Right now, we don't know exactly what happened, but from what we are told, she was cooking, and for some unknown reason, the pressure cooker fell," said Lt. Ignatius Carroll, of Miami Fire Rescue. "The impact caused it to explode. Maybe pieces from the pressure cooker severed her leg completely." Carroll called it "one of the freakiest accident calls that we have ever heard (of) " [...]"  Note: The astrology of this incident in her life must be interesting.

Date With Destiny: "School Principal Hypnotizes Student In Attempt To Prevent Suicide" [05/19/11] "Sixteen-year-old Wesley McKinley's suicide on April 8 is raising questions about what happened one day after his principal, Dr. George Kenney, hypnotized him. "They're blaming him for his death," says Bianca Cannon a senior at North Port High School. "He was doing it for good, not telling Wesley to harm himself," explains student Danielle Leopold. Students say Kenney, a certified hypnotist and author, helps a lot.  [...]"  Note:  Actually, the child already had this in his path. The hypnosis, which 'seems' significant to some solely on the basis of the timing, was not relevant or responsible for the death, which the child had his mind made up to do anyway. Astrology could prove it was in his path, and no one could have prevented it.

Higher Self Intervention: "Man And Dog Survive 200ft Cliff Plunge" [05/17/11] "A 53-year-old man from Rochdale and his dog have survived after falling 200ft down a cliff in North Yorkshire. Police said it was "absolutely remarkable" that the man escaped with only broken bones after trying to rescue his pet. The pair were found at the foot of Little Cliff, near Cloughton. Inspector Bruce Prendergast, of North Yorkshire Police, said: "It is absolutely remarkable that this man has survived a 200ft fall down the cliff face and escaped with injuries that are serious but not life-threatening.[...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Australian Dies After 'Planking' On Balcony, Police Say" [05/15/11]   "Australian police say a man who plunged to his death from a seventh-floor balcony on Sunday was participating in the internet craze of "planking". Planking involves someone lying flat on their stomach in unusual and sometimes dangerous situations, and posting photographs on social media websites. Police said the dead man, in his 20s, fell from a balcony railing in Brisbane while a friend photographed him. The man's name has not been released pending notification of his family. The craze has gone viral in recent weeks, with one Facebook page boasting 90,000 fans and hundreds of photos of people lying on chimneys, escalators, camels, and other objects. "This morning we have seen a young man take this activity a step further and attempt to plank on a balcony," said Queensland Police Deputy Commissioner Ross Barnett. "Unfortunately he has tragically fallen to his death."  Queensland police last week warned "plankers" of the dangers of the activity, after a man was caught allegedly planking on a police car. The 20-year-old was charged with being on police equipment without lawful excuse. Sergeant Matthew Russell, of Gladstone police, told the Brisbane Courier-Mail newspaper that planking could be dangerous, and practitioners may find themselves charged with "unauthorised high risk activity". "While we appreciate the activity is light-hearted fun, putting yourself and others at risk and breaking the law will not be tolerated," he said. Mr Barnett said the death on Sunday is "what we've been fearing". "As planking gains popularity, there may be more injuries and potentially further deaths," he said. [...]"  Note: Stupid is as stupid does. Sequential tomfoolery. 

Date With Destiny: "British Woman Decapitated In Grocery Store; Killer Flees With Head" [05/14/11] "The homeless Bulgarian who decapitated a British woman in Tenerife yesterday thought he was 'a prophet of god', it emerged today. Local mayor José Reverón said the 28-year-old man was a bizarre individual who was known to police and had a history of intimidating passers-by on the street for yesterday's horrifying attack. The unnamed man was reportedly released from a psychiatric hospital in February and had a history of violent behaviour before brutally killing the 62-year-old Briton in a shopping centre in Los Cristianos yesterday. He was reportedly admitted to the psychiatric unit after knocking a stranger's teeth out on the street. As Mayor Reverón said the incident was 'the most horrific crime to hit the resort in recent years', questions were raised about why Spanish authorities had allowed the attacker to wander the streets. Witnesses of the attack said the Bulgarian man stabbed the British woman a number of time before cutting off her head without uttering a word. He then reportedly fled the store with the severed head in his hands, with blood dripping on the floor. As the 28-year-old attacker ran through the streets of the holiday island carrying the victim’s head, security guards and a number of witnesses gave chase.After the attack, the man reportedly ran out into the street covered in blood, carrying his victim's head and telling passers-by: 'This is my treasure'. [...]He was eventually cornered after a passing Italian motorcyclist, named only as David, hurled his helmet at the man’s face. The knifeman stumbled, dropped the head and the biker jumped on him. He struggled to break free but was held by the motorcyclist and other pursuers until police arrived. Security guards leapt on the attacker and held him until police arrived at the shopping centre."  Note: There's much more ... it goes on and on ... nothing ever happens there - until now.

Texas: "Want To Know Where To Get Good Raccoon Meat? Try The Car Wash" [05/14/11] [2:48] "Four people were arrested at a North Houston car wash where, in addition to washes and waxes, illegal drugs and raccoon meat were sold.  [...] The response from the owner, Michael Maxwell: "I don’t know why they are here. They don’t have a warrant. They come storming into my place. I got all my permits that go with this place. I am licensed with the city. I pay my taxes. This is my property and it is private.”"  Note: Nothing like racking up a few coon burgers after work.

"Meth-Manufacturer Accused Of Videotaping Neighbors Having Sex" [05/14/11] "The woman who lived next door was putting an item on an upper closet shelf when she discovered a video camera pointed at the bed. A wire trail led to neighbor Randall Lance Courson's fifth wheel trailer that he had moved onto the property about a month earlier. Police also found a makeshift meth lab at the guy's place. Deputies searched the trailer with Courson's permission. A cable was found, running from the camera to a VCR. There were four video tapes that showed the couple was unknowingly filmed in flagrante delicto. Tapes also showed footage of the wife sleeping, reports said. [...]"   

"Woman High On Bath Salts Trashes Hotel Room" [05/14/11] "A 42-year-old Indiana woman who authorities believe was high on bath salts trashed a hotel room Wednesday, Indiana State Police said this morning. Police said Tammy Winter of Demotte was sitting on bed when they arrived at the hotel on State Road 114 near Rensselaer, rambing about evil spirits and needing to write on the walls of the room to protect her from the spirits. A family member who was present told police that Winter was an abuser of bath salts. When snorted, bath salts cause hallucinations, police said. Winter was arrested and charged with criminal mischief and resisting officers after she became combative and needed to be restrained at the Jasper County Jail, police said. Both are misdemeanors. [...]"   

"Air Conditioner Repairman Finds Man Living On Waffle House Roof" [05/12/11]   "Nobody is sure how long he was living there -- or how he got up to the roof. It appears someone took the “House” in Waffle House a little too literally. At the Gordon Highway location, crews were called in after reports that a man was making the roof his home. He was spotted by an air conditioner repairman. Cops and firefighters were called in to help the man down. Crews weren’t sure how long he’d been up there, or even how he got up there. Someone shared their cell phone video with our crews. Another witness, Marvin Stone, says he “just pulled up to work, saw the fireman on the roof, saw a couple cops on the roof, started asking questions and came to find out there was a guy stuck on the roof.” James Mayle, when asked if he’d seen anything like, said “No, you never expect anything like this, a person on top of the roof at a Waffle house? No, never that.” We’re told the unidentified man was dehydrated and taken to a nearby hospital. WAGT.com) [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man Breaks Into House To Use Toilet, Flees With Pants Down, Falls Down Stairs, Dies..." [05/11/11]    " A homeless man was dead after a woman discovered him inside her Fayetteville apartment, which was in a house that had been broken up into several apartments. Fayetteville police said John Standridge entered the woman's apartment to use the bathroom. She told police she found him and screamed. She said Standridge then ran out of the room with his pants around his ankles, tripped and fell down the stairs and died. [...]"   

"Conjoined Twin Girls Were Born At A Hospital In Southwestern China" [05/11/11] " Two heads, two spines, one body. Conjoined twin girls were born at a hospital in southwestern China on Thursday. The AP reports that the girls, born to farmers, weighed 9 pounds, measured 20 inches, and share many organs, though they each have their own spine and esophagus. Local media quoted doctors as saying it would be nearly impossible to separate them, though the girls have been transferred to a hospital in a nearby city to be examined by experts.  [...]"  Note: Pictures included on page. Related: Research: "Astrological Charts of Conjoined Twins"

"Fugitive Nabbed After Going To Home Depot To Cut Off Handcuffs" [05/10/11]   "A handcuffed suspect in Florida escaped police custody and fled to a Pensacola Home Depot, where he was spotted shortly after shopping for bolt-cutters. "He was caught after he stole some items from a [hardware store] to remove the cuffs with," Sena Maddison, a spokeswoman with the Escambia County Sheriff's Office told Weird News. [...]"  

"Dead Can't Dance: Arizona Woman Arrested For Dancing Naked In Cemetery" [05/10/11]   "Kara Mitchell, 25, was doing her thing in front of customers looking for plots and several groups of visitors who were paying respects to the deceased. She was in a cemetery golf cart when police arrived to deal with the nudity complaint. AZCentral.com) [...]"  Related: "Woman Strips Naked on Delta Flight" "Talk about in-flight entertainment. Passengers on a Delta flight Saturday got a "show" when a woman stripped naked and began to make a scene during their flight. Flight 6562, en route from Chicago to New York, was descending to Kennedy Airport when the "emotionally disturbed" woman removed her clothes, reports USA TODAY. A Newsday manager who was also on the flight said flight attendants tried to cover the woman with a blanket, but she yelled "No! No! No!" [...]"   

"Man Rescued From Pompano Beach Sand Hole" [05/09/11]    "A member of Austria's Olympic swimming team has been rescued after becoming buried in sand on a Florida beach. Jakub Maly, 19, had spent hours digging a 7ft-deep (2.1m) hole in the sand on Sunday, then jumped in. It collapsed around him, burying him up to the neck. Rescue workers spent two hours digging him out after bracing the sand around his head to prevent it collapsing more. Mr Maly was in danger of being crushed by the pressure of the sand. He was taken to hospital, then discharged. He had been buried up to the neck for about two hours when he was finally rescued, conscious and talking, Pompano Beach Fire-Rescue spokesman Sandra King told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel newspaper. [...]"   

"Man Charged After Dipping Chips Into Customers-Only Nacho Cheese" [05/09/11]   "When a 7-Eleven clerk told Michael Richards that the nacho cheese was only for customers who paid for it, Richards pulled the clerk's arm behind his back, twisted it and made threats. What was stolen? The prosecutor told the judge: "The defendant was informed that it was not yo’ cheese." (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  

"Architecture of Insanity" [05/09/11]   "I was browsing an 1878 issue of The Scientific American, looking for an article on torpedoes, when I came across this stunning architectural plan of the Morristown (New Jersey) State Asylum for the Insane--I recognized its design as something I had seen before, several times, at least. This design required a lot of land and a lot of bricks--the building was a few stories high and laid out far and wide, built to accommodate 2,000 patients. The design was intended to allow patients comfortable living space, room for privacy as need be, exercise area and plenty of open yards around the structure for sun and fresh air. Of course building like this were quickly filled and filled some more, requiring the space for rehabilitation to be used for stockpiling other patients until more appropriate situations arose, which they mostly seemed not to. [...]"  

"National Geo Movie on Yakuza Could Get Him Killed, Reporter Says" [05/07/11]   "A U.S. journalist says National Geographic hired him to work behind the scenes on a documentary on Japanese organized crime, but the company plans to broadcast next week a "factually inaccurate or sensationalist 'docudrama'" that could get him killed, as it includes interviews with a crime syndicate boss and Yakuza who have threatened the reporter's life. Joshua Adelstein sued National Geographic Television for breach of contract, interference and infliction of emotional distress, claiming the company is putting him in harm's way by ignoring his advice, interviewing criminals, and planning to broadcast the interviews without their permission. Adelstein says National Geographic hired him in May 2010 as an independent contractor on the project, which was originally supposed to be a documentary "on how the Yakuza was forming corporations in Japan in an attempt to transform itself from a traditional organized crime organization into 'Yakuza, Incorporated.'" He agreed to provide the company with contact names of experts in the field and to perform on-camera and voice-over work. [...]"  

Trends: "Americans Gone Wild" [05/07/11] with 3 Video clips [7:00]  "Gerald Celente is known to love to make the following statement: "When people lose everything and have nothing left to lose - they lose it." Sadly, Celente is exactly right about this. As the U.S. economy continues to collapse, Americans are going to becoming increasingly frustrated, and this frustration will inevitably boil over into rioting and violence. Could we be starting to see the start of this already? The number of Americans that have "gone wild" seems to be escalating. Years ago, losing a job was not that big of a deal. Now a job loss is enough to cause some Americans to snap and go over the edge. We are seeing restaurant brawls and open violence in the streets that would have been unthinkable 50 years ago. All over the nation people are losing it and are literally going crazy. The news stories and the videos posted below of "Americans gone wild" are very graphic and very shocking. There is a reason for this. These examples are meant to show you that the very fabric of our civilized society is falling apart. It won't matter who ends up leading us politically if this is the kind of people we become. Sadly, it appears that we are not the same kind of people that we used to be. Something has changed in America. Something is different. We have forgotten many of the things that made us great as a nation. We no longer live by the same principles. We no longer value the same truths. There are examples of "Americans gone wild" all over the nation. The things you are about to read about below are not just isolated incidents. The truth is that I could have easily included dozens more examples. As the economy continues to crumble this trend is going to get even worse. The following are just a few examples of how Americans have been freaking out and losing it recently.... [...]"  

Satire: "Reporting On Suspicious activity At Wal-Mart" [05/07/11] [3:42] "This video parody exposes the ridiculousness of Janet Napolitano's recent request that people should be on the lookout for "suspicious activity" at Wal-Mart. The mere act of shopping at Wal-Mart is suspicious all by itself, it seems. But this video takes a deeper look at the bizarre people who frequent the store. Photos courtesy of PeopleOfWalmart.com [...]"  

"Scientist Seeks To Banish Evil, Boost Empathy" [05/07/11] " Psychopathology expert says idea of evil has done no good. Sees empathy as world's most valuable but ignored resource. Simon Baron-Cohen has been battling with evil all his life. As a scientist seeking to understand random acts of violence, from street brawls to psychopathic killings to genocide, he has puzzled for decades over what prompts such acts of human cruelty. And he's decided that evil is not good enough. "I'm not satisfied with the term 'evil'," says the Cambridge University psychology and psychiatry professor, one of the world's top experts in autism and developmental psychopathology. "We've inherited this word.. and we use it to express our abhorrence when people do awful things, usually acts of cruelty, but I don't think it's anything more than another word for doing something bad. And as a scientist that doesn't seem to me to be much of an explanation. So I've been looking for an alternative -- we need a new theory of human cruelty." Baron-Cohen, who is also director of the Autism Research Centre at Cambridge, has just written a book in which he calls for a kind of rebranding of evil to offer a more scientific explanation for why people kill and torture, or have such great difficulty understanding the feelings of others. His proposal is that evil be understood as a lack of empathy -- a condition he argues can be measured and monitored and is susceptible to education and treatment. [...]"  Note: Cohen, a lightside polarity sequential .... is an optimist, and oblivious to the impending disappearance of the civilization .

Flash-Mob Theft: "Thieves Swarms Las Vegas Convenience Store" [05/06/11] [2:38] Note: A gang of 20-30 people march into a convenience store to ply their trade and depart, leaving the store short $600 in merchandice.

Higher Self Intervention: "Eight-Year-Old Boy Sucked Into 200Mph Tornado … Lives To Tell Tale" [05/03/11] "Eight-year-old Reginald Epps Jr was picked up off his feet and pulled into the swirling darkness when one of the Alabama twisters tore through his home. As his family cowered beneath him he was carried through the air some 30ft before being set down again with just cuts and bruises. When the wind died down his terrified family looked up to see him walking towards them – and were stunned to see he was still alive. Reginald Jr, known as RJ, was at home in Coaling, Alabama when the tornado swept through at 200mph. [...] RJ told one of the nurses that he was floated up inside the tornado and he floated back down. He said he saw the flashlights and started walked towards them. He saw the lights and he came to us. ‘To think that that happened is incredible given how powerful that tornado was. I had some planks of wood in the yard and they went through my neighbour’s house. ‘RJ could have been anywhere by now.’ Mr Epps added that he has not spoken to RJ about what happened but his wife, a pre school teacher, told him that the child is so traumatised he is not sleeping. ‘RJ told her: ‘We had a rough night’, he said."  

Higher Self Intervention: "Video: Man Survives Being Hit By Lightning - Twice in One Minute" [05/03/11] [1:55]   

"Troubled" Empty House With Leaking Pipe Calls 911 For Assistance" [05/01/11] "A house that endured a leaking pipe for many months dialed 911 on Wednesday, finally bringing town officials to the rescue. The homeowner gone — no one yet knows where — the house likely sprang a leak during a past freeze and began spraying water all over. "Water came down inside the walls and through the ceiling," said Health Director Wayne Attridge. "The (wood) floors have buckled. The ceilings are sagging. It filled the basement with (5 feet of) water." Worse yet, potentially toxic mold is everywhere. "It's a horrific mess," said Attridge, who said the inside of the structure may have to be gutted. The 911 call went out to police, apparently, when water short-circuited the phone system. [...]"   

"Family Wins $1M After Pigs Ate Their Son's Body" [05/01/11] "Three men who fed a murdered man's body to pigs must pay the victim's family $1 million, the Marion County Circuit Court ruled. The details of the grisly 2006 murder sound like a plot pulled straight from fiction. In April 2006, Christopher Lampkin was visiting someone at the Cedar Crest Apartments in Salem. During the visit, the 23-year-old got into an altercation that quickly turned deadly with other residents of the apartment. "Leonardo Garcia Gonzalez, Victor Hernandez and others told Mr. Lampkin to get on his knees and say his prayers," Lampkin's mother, Denise Mullins, claimed in 2008 complaint. "Mr. Lampkin was then shot 'execution style' in the head and taken to the bathtub where Leonardo and Victor Hernandez began to cut off his head and limbs of his body with kitchen knives." The men stuffed the remains in a duffel bag and called a friend, Joseph Norman Schmidt, whose father owned a pig farm in rural Yamhill County. Schmidt put the duffel bag into a feed barrel for the pigs, an animal that is famous for its omnivorous palate.  [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves. 

"St. Paul Man Convicted Of Locking Girlfriend In Dog Kennel" [05/01/11]   "Luke Brandon Scott, 29, offered no visible reaction as he was convicted of assault, terroristic threats and false imprisonment. He was accused of attacking his girlfriend after she said she didn't want to have sex with him anymore. A prosecutor says: "He tells her, 'I'm going to hang you from the basement and let you bleed slow.' He tells her to go into the dog kennel because that's where the (female dogs) belong." (St. Paul Pioneer Press) [...]"  Note:  Obviously, this guy was raised by wolves.

"NJ Town Limits When Roosters, Hens Can Hook Up" [05/01/11]   "A New Jersey town has adopted an ordinance that regulates when chickens and roosters can hook up in backyard henhouses. Roosters must show they're disease-free and they better not crow about their conquests. Hopewell Township residents can have up to a half-dozen hens on half-acre lots. Roosters would be allowed only 10 days a year for fertilization purposes. Mature roosters are not allowed because they're too noisy. Any roosters that crow too long can be banned from the property for two years. Mayor Jim Burd told The Times of Trenton the ordinance is a compromise between today's lifestyle and the township's agricultural history. [...]"   

"Burglars Steal Hair From Chicago Business " [05/01/11]   "Chicago police have a real head-scratching case on their hands as they try to root out who stole human hair from a beauty-supply company. Police say the theft of what they consider a "very valuable" amount of hair was taken early Sunday by burglars of the Beauty One shop. Authorities say the culprits pried open a huge steel door that had been secured with two deadbolt locks, then swiped the hair. No dollar amount for the hair was given, and there was no immediate explanation why thieves would want it. A police sergeant says he's been to a lot of robberies, but never one involving hair. [...]"   

"'Italian? It's All Greek To Me': Amnesiac Swimmer" [05/01/11]   "Police have uncovered the true identity of a man with amnesia found swimming off a Dubai beach eight months ago and treated in a psychiatric hospital. Italian Andrea Pecora, 31 and single, believed for months that he was a 25-year-old Greek footballer called Andreas Kostantinidis, The National newspaper reported on Friday. It said that Pecora's true identity was finally determined after he remembered the hotel where he had been staying. "The mystery was solved when police found Mr Pecora's passport copy" in the guest records of a hotel after partial memories finally came back to the patient at Amal (meaning hope in Arabic) psychiatric hospital. "We never gave up hope. We knew that one day our search and investigation efforts would pay off," said Ahmad al-Merri, head of criminal investigations at Dubai police. His mother, who is of Greek origin, told Dubai police she thought her frequent-traveller son was in Africa. "When we told him some names from his family he went quiet and started thinking. You could tell they meant something to him, but he could not locate them," Merri said, quoted in the English-language Emirati daily. In August, the man who was rescued from the sea in a state of confusion had told The National: "I would not forget my country: It is in my heart, just like my name." His brother is expected to travel to Dubai to take Pecora back to Italy.  [...]" 

"Police Sniff Out $10 Mln Buried In Garlic Field" [05/01/11]    "South Korean police have sniffed out a total of 11 billion won ($10.1 million) in cash buried in remote garlic fields and have confiscated the haul, officers said Tuesday. TV footage showed plastic containers brimming with jaw-dropping wads of cash being excavated one after another in the southwestern city of Gimje. Two brothers who had made the money from an illegal Internet gambling operation asked their brother-in-law surnamed Lee to hide the cash as police began closing in on them, media reports said. One brother is now in jail while the other is still at large. Lee, 53, bought the garlic field and buried the cash at dusk or dawn, pretending to be working on the land. But he later dug up about 400 million won and spent it, without telling the brothers he had helped himself. Because one brother was about to be released from jail, Lee allegedly tried to blame the lost cash on an excavator operator working on the land. But the operator reported the case to police who unearthed the buried bonanza. Police said Tuesday they are seeking an arrest warrant for Lee. News media said the case underscored the need to crack down on widespread illegal online gambling sites which are based offshore.
 [...]" 

"Homeless Man Robs Bank, Hands Out Cash To Bus Passengers" [04/30/11]   "A homeless man robbed a bank, hopped on a bus and handed out stolen cash to passengers before being caught, deputies said Thursday. Just before 4:30 p.m., Elmer McGuirt, 27, walked into the Wachovia Bank at 13304 Bruce B. Downs Blvd. and gave the teller a note demanding money that implied he had weapon, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office. He left the bank with an undisclosed amount of cash and boarded a HARTline public transit bus, witnesses told deputies. Then McGuirt began handing out the money to other passengers, while keeping some for himself — stuffed in his pants — deputies said. The Sheriff's Office contacted the bus driver, who then pretended to have a mechanical failure in order to pull the bus over at Fletcher Avenue and N 19th Street. McGuirt and the other passengers were ordered off the bus where waiting deputies arrested him and confiscated the money, according to the Sheriff's Office. Deputies were also able to get some money back from the remaining passengers. McGuirt was charged with robbery and taken to a Hillsborough County jail.[...]"   

"E-Trade Baby Loses Everything" [04/30/11] [1:05] Note: Cute Related: "E-Trade Baby Girlfriend"   [0:31]

Concepts and Practices: "Taiwan 'Prophet' Faces Fine Over Apocalypse Warning" [04/29/11] "Taiwanese authorities have threatened to fine a self-proclaimed prophet unless he removes remarks from his blog predicting an "apocalyptic quake" that triggered panic preparations among numerous followers. "Issuing unauthorised forecasts on earthquakes is punishable by a fine" of up to Tw$1 million ($33,000), Lin Yeu-woo, a weather bureau spokesman, told reporters. Dozens of Taiwanese have reportedly rushed to prepare makeshift shelters in central Taiwan after the man, known only as "Teacher Wang", alleged that a huge earthquake and tsunami would destroy the island next month. About 170 shelters converted from cargo containers are currently being built in Puli, Nantou county, after Wang wrote on his blog that millions of people would die when the disasters strike on May 11, the Apple Daily reported. Wang advised people to stay in cargo containers, which he said would be safer than regular buildings, the paper said, also quoting construction workers as saying that they were rushing to finish by early May. A local township official told AFP the authorities cannot intervene with the construction project since "people have the right to build houses on a piece of land they legally rented".  [...]"   

"Cop Fired After Giving Lame Explanation For Exposing Self At Sears" [04/29/11]   "The cop said he'd pulled his zipper down "in an attempt to determine who would advise him that his zipper was down," according to a court affidavit. What was that -- some kind of game? (Cincinnati Enquirer) [...] The Cincinnati police sergeant convicted earlier this year of public indecency for exposing himself to several Sears employees at Eastgate Mall was fired by the Cincinnati Police Department on Wednesday, according to a spokeswoman with the police department."  

"Tipsy Irishman Pays Price For Moving Beehive" [04/29/11] "An Irishman who decided to climb a ladder and move a beehive after downing a few beers has paid the price, being stung more than 60 times. Andrew Short, an amateur beekeeper in Australia, returned home from the Melbourne Comedy Festival Monday evening in high spirits and thought he'd move a hive from his back yard to the roof of his house. He figured that as it was past midnight, the bees would be asleep. Instead, they attacked him. "A few beers maybe and a ladder, it's a bad combination," Short told reporters after hospital treatment for stings to his face, chest, neck, arms and abdomen. "The problem was, I was up the ladder holding the hive, so the job wasn't done yet, and at that point it was easier to go up than go down," he added. "So they were there stinging my eyes, but I had to carry on to try and make sure that I wasn't going to fall off the roof any more, so there was a little bit of work to do, and then I said 'best to go down'." His main worry was being too scared to call his wife, who was away with their two young daughters. "She was away, so I thought it was the perfect night to do it, because you can't ask the missus to get involved in lifting beehives, oddly," he said.  [...]"  

"Turkish Police Dress Up As Doctors To Test Citizens For Gullibility" [04/29/11] "Turkish police donned white coats and stethoscopes to disguise themselves as doctors, then knocked on people's doors to see how easily they would fall for a confidence scam. The undercover police officers told residents of the southeastern city of Gaziantep they were screening for high blood pressure and handed out pills, according to Turkish media. They were alarmed when residents at 86 out of 100 households visited on Tuesday swallowed the pills immediately. Police later returned to warn residents to be more cautious. The police pills were harmless placebos. But a local gang had been using the same technique to give people heavy sedatives and then burgle them. Turkish police in other provinces have also used novel methods to test citizens' gullibility. Officers in Adana in southern Turkey last week called at houses, announcing through the intercom: "I am a burglar, please open the door." Police said they were stunned at the number of people who opened the door, the Radikal daily newspaper reported. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "France: Mulhouse Airport Traffic Controller Killed" [04/28/11] "An air traffic controller has been found stabbed to death at the EuroAirport outside Mulhouse, France, near the Swiss and German borders. Police say the 34-year-old was found in a pool of blood in an office in the control tower that is accessible only with an identity badge. Prosecutors have opened a murder investigation, French reports say. The victim, a married father of one who has not been named, was a senior official at the airport. A spokesman for the civil aviation authority, the DGAC, said the victim, who had worked at the airport since leaving education in 1998, was in charge of the control tower. He was found shortly after 0800 (0600 GMT) by an employee of the airport. Police sources said the man had been stabbed in the throat, lung and chest on the 10th floor of the tower, AFP news agency reports. No suspects have been arrested and the murder weapon was not found at the scene. Air traffic at the airport, which serves Basel, Switzerland, Mulhouse, France and Freiburg, Germany, was not affected, an airport spokesperson said. [...]" Note: Who needed him dead, then, and why?

"Teacher Busted For Naked Stroll In School Hallway" [04/28/11]   "A teacher who stripped off his clothes and walked naked around a Georgia elementary school gave cops a New Age explanation for his behavior, claiming that he “was enlightened” and that “his third eye was open now and he wanted to be free," according to a court filing. For allowing others to see that third eye last Friday afternoon at the B.C. Haynie Elementary School, Harlan Porter was charged with public indecency. The 31-year-old educator, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Clayton County Jail on the misdemeanor charges and released after posting $2000 bond. Since Porter’s April 22 stroll--which came at about 3:20 PM--was not witnessed by any students, he avoided more serious charges. Morrow Police Department Officer Khari Reed reported that Porter “had recently learned that his employment contract would not be renewed.”  [...]"  

"Go The Fuck To Sleep: A Storybook For Exhausted Parents" [04/28/11] "Go the Fuck To Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Honest, profane, and affectionate, Adam Mansbach's verses and Ricardo Cortés' illustrations perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, and open up a conversation about parenting in the process. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny, Go the Fuck to Sleep is a perfect gift for parents new, old, or expectant. Here is a sample verse: ...The cats nestle close to their kittens now. The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the fuck to sleep. [...]"   

  Higher Self Intervention: "Man Lives After 'Driving Car Over Grand Canyon Rim'" [04/28/11] "A man survived a 200ft (61m) drop after apparently driving his car off the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, authorities say. The 21-year-old told park rangers he freed himself from the car after the accidental crash on Monday and climbed to the rim of the canyon to seek help. The driver was treated for non-life threatening injuries, officials said. The National Park Service is conducting an investigation into the incident. On Monday evening, rangers were phoned by a visitor to the park, who claimed he had been flagged down by an injured man who had driven over the edge of the canyon.[...]"  

"Man Robs Dunkin' Donuts On Bike, Pedals Away With Cash Drawer" [04/28/11] "A man with 45 previous arrests for robbery was arrested again Friday after allegedly bicycling up to a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through window, threatening the clerk and pedaling away with a register drawer full of cash, police said. Vernon Lewis, 42, of 6 Lincoln Terrace, then nearly collided with a police officer near City Hall who was responding to another call, police said. After learning that the Dunkin' Donuts at 255 East Main St. had been robbed, the officer found Lewis near the public library, police said. He was carrying $321 cash, police said. Dunkin' Donuts employees and customers identified Lewis as the alleged robber, police said. He faces charges of first-degree robbery, second-degree larceny, second-degree threatening, interfering with police and brandishing a facsimile firearm."  

"Oops Wrong House: Cops Mistakenly Confront a Judge, Her Family at Gunpoint" [04/28/11] [1:54] "Broward Circuit Court Judge Ilona Holmes, her sister and her sister’s family says they were ordered at gun point by several Broward Sheriffs Deputies on Easter Sunday to come out of her sister’s home with their hands up. It was no evening of peace for the Deerfield Beach family, who’d just finished dinner with friends and family, and sent extra Easter dinner to a needy family connected with their church. Then, at 8:20 p.m., police got a call about a possible burglary next door. But a bad address caused police to go to the wrong home. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Human Cannonball" Plunges to Death" [04/27/11]   " A stunned audience watched helplessly as a "human cannonball" stuntman plunged to his death after being launched from a tube in a daredevil show in the English countryside. The 23-year-old performer was shot some 40 feet into the air before slamming head-first into a collapsed safety net intended to catch him. "The net is flat on the floor, not up in the air, and he is coming down head-first toward the ground," said a witness who watched the tragedy with his two young sons. "I saw him hit the floor and bounce." He suffered massive head and back injuries. Authorities are investigating, reports the BBC.  [...]" 

"Jail For Woman Busted In Auto Erotic Incident" [04/22/11] "The Cincinnati motorist who was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy while watching a pornographic video when cops pulled her over last year has pleaded guilty to a drug charge stemming from the bizarre traffic stop, according to court records. Colondra Hamilton, 36, copped last Thursday to possession of drug paraphernalia in connection with the bizarre August incident. A Municipal Court judge sentenced Hamilton to 10 days in jail, fined her $200, and suspended her driver’s license for six months ... The multitasking Hamilton’s problems, though, did not end with her April 14 misdemeanor plea. She was arrested yesterday on theft charges for allegedly swiping merchandise (cleaning items, an air mattress, and a Blu-Ray player) from a Fairfax, Ohio Walmart on three separate occasions this month. [...]" Note: What? No texting? 

Higher Self Intervention: "Stranger Catches Toddler Falling From 4th-Floor Balcony" [04/22/11] A 2-year-old girl fell from a fourth-floor hotel balcony in the tourist district of Orlando on Wednesday night, but she was caught by a hotel guest and was not injured, according to Orange County deputies.  [...]"  

Higher Self Intervention: "Teen Survives Golden Gate Bridge Fall" [04/22/11]   "A 16-year-old girl jumped or fell off the Golden Gate Bridge on Sunday and survived, San Francisco Fire Department and the U.S. Coast Guard said. The girl was in the water for 20 minutes after the first call to dispatchers and was found conscious and responsive. She was transported to Marin General Hospital. It's not known what led to the girl's drop. But it's extremely unusual to survive the fall, including a March incident when a 17-year-old boy from Windsor jumped as an apparent boast and also survived. [...]"   

UK:  "Woman Denies Biting Off Testicles" [04/22/11]   "A mother of four accused of biting off her boyfriend's testicles denies grievous bodily harm. Ms Topp, from Aycliffe Place, Wrekenton, Gateshead, appeared at Newcastle Crown Court for a brief hearing on Thursday to deny the charge. She was granted bail. Her two or three-day trial will be fixed later.[...]"  Note: I guess it beats Corn Nuts. Her trial will be fixed later ... she fixed her boyfriend already. Raised by wolves.

Date With Destiny: "Man Kills Parents Over $5 in Gas Money" [04/22/11] "A married couple in Mequon may have been killed over $5 in gas money, a criminal complaint released Thursday shows. The couple's son, 20-year-old Dennis Markov, was charged with two counts of first-degree intentional homicide Thursday in the shooting deaths of his parents, Victor and Larissa Markov, 45 and 39.  [...]"  

Date With Destiny:  "Emerson Film Student Falls To His Death" [04/22/11] "College student from Seattle dies in fall from Boston roof while filming school project [...] The 21-year-old Seattle man, Justin Amorratanasuchad, was filming on the roof of an off-campus apartment building Sunday when he fell five stories to his death. He reportedly had been walking backward with the camera when he lost his footing, stepped onto a gutter and fell into the alley."  Note: Who walks backwards towards the edge of a roof? Idiot. Too bad he didn't take the camera along to record his trip. Now that would have been a 'viral video'.  

Date With Destiny: "Man Uses Sheets To Escape Out Window of Nursing Home - Dies in Fall" [04/22/11] "A man who tied sheets together and used them to try and lower himself out a window of a nursing home accidentally fell and died Wednesday morning in the Logan Square neighborhood on the Northwest Side.  [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Man Stabbed To Death For Annoyingly Changing TV Channels" [04/22/11]   "The suspect told investigators he became "very agitated" by his friend's television channel changing. He grabbed a knife from the countertop, pulled the guy from his wheelchair "and stabbed him seven to eight times in the back." The suspect told told the victim as he was killing him that he was doing him a favor. (Lakeland Ledger) [...]"  

Canada: "Slut Walks Sweep The Nation" [04/22/11] "Toronto police constable Michael Sanguinetti thought he was offering the key to rape prevention. "I'm not supposed to say this," he told a group of students at an Osgoode Hall Law School safety forum on January 24, but to prevent being sexually assaulted, “Avoid dressing like sluts.” Despite Sanguinetti’s subsequent written apology and promises of further professional training, the victim-blaming gaffe heard round the world sparked a movement that began in Canada but is now sweeping the United States and abroad: SlutWalks. “We had just had enough,” said Heather Jarvis, who founded SlutWalk Toronto with friend Sonya Barnett. “It isn’t about just one idea or one police officer who practices victim blaming, it’s about changing the system and doing something constructive with anger and frustration.” While Jarvis, 25, and Barnett, 38, initially expected only 200–300 people to show their support, upwards of 3,000 massed on the streets of Toronto on April 3 -- some wearing jeans and a T-shirt; others in outfits more appropriate for a Victoria's Secret fashion show: thigh-highs, lingerie, stilettos -- and marched to police headquarters. Their goal: to shift the paradigm of mainstream rape culture, which they believe focuses on analyzing the behavior of the victim rather than that of the perpetrator. According to SlutWalk Boston co-organizer Siobhan Conners, 20, although Boston SlutWalk is expecting approximately 1,000 participants, a counter event called “Pimp Walk” has been planned to take place on the same day at the same time. [...]"  Note: Apparently, there is not much to do in Toronto. This is a frequent topic on Huffington Post ... which is now another Murdock production.

"Wisconsin GOP Senator Accidentally Directs Constituents To Call Phone Sex Line" [04/20/11] "It's an old story. Embattled politician seeks new ways to connect with disaffected voters. He establishes some phone lines, so constituents can connect directly with his office. Voters use the phone number and are connected to people ready to sensitively respond to their needs, accommodate their desires, and leave them feeling satisfied. Does this ever happen in politics? Ha, no: trick question. But it does happen in phone sex. [...]"   

"Cookie the Little Penguin at the Cincinnati Zoo or What Happens When You Tickle A Little Penguin?" [04/20/11] [1:24] "Life doesn't get much cuter than watching a Little Penguin -- unless you're watching a Little Penguin being tickled... and wait until you see the reaction! In this adorable video, "Cookie" the penguin gets tickled at the Cincinnati Zoo. Cookie is a Little Penguin (the smallest species of penguin), and is reportedly the mascot of the Zoo Bird House. He has a bandage on his foot because he has a disease known as "bumblefoot" and needs his sock changed daily. According to The L.A. Times, Little Penguins (also known as Blue penguins or Fairy penguins) are native to Australia and New Zealand. The tickler is Patricia Sund, who filmed the video while working at the zoo as a guest keeper to perform research for her book and blog, "Parrot Nation." While the original video was posted to YouTube over a year ago, this new, shorter clip has recently been making the rounds, surging in popularity across the Internet. [...]"  Note:  Very cute.

"Job Center Blasted For Giving Capes To Unemployed" [04/20/11]   "Florida officials are investigating an unemployment agency that spent public money to give 6,000 superhero capes to the jobless. Workforce Central Florida spent more than $14,000 on the red capes as part of its "Cape-A-Bility Challenge" public relations campaign. The campaign featured a cartoon character, "Dr. Evil Unemployment," who needs to be vanquished. Florida's unemployment agency director asked Monday for an investigation of the regional operation's spending after the Orlando Sentinel published a story about the program. State director Cynthia Lorenzo said the spending appeared to be "insensitive and wasteful." Workforce Central Florida Director Gary J. Earl defends the program, saying it is part of a greater effort to connect with the community. The agency says it served 210,000 people during its last fiscal year, placing nearly 59,000 in jobs. [...]"  See Image 

"Woman admits stealing from future father-in-law" [04/20/11] "She admits using his credit card to make nearly $6,000 in unauthorized purchases -- including some for her upcoming wedding ... Brittany Marie Sterna-Lanaghan, 20, appeared before District Judge Gregory Todd and pleaded guilty to a felony charge of deceptive practices by common scheme. (Billings Gazette) [...]"  Reader comment:  "I'm encouraging ALL people who get married to go hyphenated. This should be real fun after a couple or three more generations: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith-Jones-Brown-Parker request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Madeleine Smith-Jones- Brown-Parker to Mr. Ralph White-Black-Simpson-Caldwell..." Note:  or ... 'Do you, Harold et al, take Sally et al to be your lawful hyphenation?

"Happy Days' Icons Sue CBS For Their Cut Of Merchandising Bonanza" [04/20/11] "They were once so happy they brought joy to millions of households all over the world. But the cast of Happy Days are currently far from being anything close to happy. In fact they are angry. For they are claiming that CBS has deprived them of much-needed money the network made from the merchandising bonanza the show spawned. They are now suing for fraud and breach of contract. The legacy of the show, which was one of the most popular on television for a decade, lives on even 30 years after it ended. Happy Days T-shirts, playing cards, mugs, board games, lunch boxes and dolls are still popular items in many countries of the world. But it was when the Happy Days slot machines were brought into casinos that the cast started to wonder where their share was.  In an interview with CNN, four of the cast members and the estate of the late Tom Bosley, who played Howard Cunningham, claim that they have not been given what they are owed. Tom Bosely died in October but was said to be aware of the situation and wanted it resolved before he died. The cast members involved are Anson Williams, who played Potsie Weber, Don Most who played Ralph Malph, Marion Ross who played Marion Cunningham and Erin Moran who played Joanie Cunningham. Anson Williams said that the show, which aired from 1974 to 1984, 'represented to the public what the best of America has to offer.The friendships, the opportunities, the warmth. [...]" 

"Umbrella, Not Gun, Caused Mall Evacuation" [04/20/11]   "A young man innocently walking with an umbrella mistaken for a rifle triggered the evacuation of a shopping mall in Burlington, Mass., Tuesday, police said. A Lahey Clinic employee carrying an umbrella in his backpack was unfortunately mistaken for a gunman at the Burlington Mall this morning," the clinic said in a statement. "Upon arrival at work the employee heard the description of the alleged person carrying a rifle on the news and immediately called the Burlington police. He told them he had been at the mall and fit the description. Police responded and confirmed he was the person and his umbrella was mistaken for a gun. "The Lahey employee is pleased he took appropriate action and contacted the police. However, he feels terrible about the situation. He asks that people in the media please respect his privacy at this time." [...]"  

"Air Traffic Controller Suspended For Watching Movie - Accidentally Broadcast Soundtrack To Pilots..." [04/19/11] ..."During the early morning hours of April 17, 2011, an air traffic controller at the Cleveland Air Route Traffic Control Center was watching a movie on a portable electronic device while working a radar position. For a little more than three minutes, the controllers microphone was inadvertently activated, transmitting the soundtrack of the movie over the radio frequency for that airspace. The problem was brought to air traffic controls attention by the pilot of a military aircraft using an alternate frequency. The controller has been suspended from operational duties pending an investigation. FAA policy prohibits the use of portable DVD players and other devices from being used on the floor of the radar room." [...]" 

 Date With Destiny: "Teen Made Father Sign Over $100K Check Before Killing Him" [04/19/11]   "After taping his father to a chair, Matthew Nellessen and three accomplices allegedly forced the man to sign over a $100,000 check from his retirement fund. When the dad warned his son he'd report the theft to police, the younger Nellessen reacted violently — pummeling his helpless father with a baseball bat, then stabbing him in the neck with a steak knife, say prosecutors. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"

Date With Destiny: "Man 'Died After Wandering Into Crocodile Waters'" [04/19/11] "David Lubisi, 40, was eaten alive after he entered the Lepelle river following an argument with his girlfriend, detectives believe.The father-of-three has not been seen for more than a week after allegedly telling a colleague about his plan on April 7. “Our investigations have revealed that at around 7pm on April 7 he told a co-worker he wanted to walk into the river, which he knew to be infested with crocodiles,” said Sergeant Malesela Makgopa. “He was last seen heading towards the water and never turned up after that. “We believe he may have been having domestic problems with his girlfriend. [...]"   

"Hospital 'Injected Girl With Glue'" [04/19/11]   "The family of an 11-year-old girl has launched a legal bid for compensation from London's Great Ormond Street Hospital after claiming her brain was inadvertently injected with glue. Maisha Najeeb, from London, has a severe brain injury, uses a wheelchair and requires extensive daily care. ...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Unwitting Audience Clap And Cheer As Teenager Stabs Himself To Death On Stage" Link Fixed  [04/19/11] "A troubled 19-year-old stabbed himself to death on stage at an open mic night after playing a song called Sorry For All the Mess. Kipp Rusty Walker repeatedly plunged the six-inch blade into his chest as the audience clapped and cheered in the mistaken belief it was piece of performance art. But when he collapsed in a pool of his own blood they started screaming in horror and rushed to help him, but his wounds were too severe and he died soon after. The bizarre suicide has left the community of Bend in Oregon stunned and wondering why he would end his life in such a public way. But questions will be asked of mental health authorities after it emerged that Walker had told friends of his plan and had threatened to kill himself before. On that occasion he had been taken in for treatment but was released back into the community. Walker took his own life at the Strictly Organic Coffee Company in front of around 15 people during its open mic night.[...]"  

"Man Jailed After Fight Involving Vacuum Cleaner Attachment" [04/18/11]   "A 20-year-old man was arrested after police say he beat another person with a vacuum cleaner attachment during a dispute. [...]"  

"Man Bites Dog - Then Sues Over Police Canine's Act" [04/18/11]   "A 33-year-old man who bit back after he was caught by a Phoenix police dog is suing police. Erin Sullivan alleges the dog violated his civil rights and used excessive force to capture him after he ran from officers in Glendale during a burglary investigation last year.  [...]"     

"Shadowy Group Employed to Predict Future" [04/17/11] "Sponsored by the Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA), a division of the office of the director of national intelligence, the Forecasting World Events Project plans to assemble five competing panels whose members will make predictions about future events and global trends. According to the project’s website, their objective is to investigate the accuracy of individual and group predictions that could lead to fundamental advances in the science of forecasting. [...]"  Note: It's all a bunch of crap. The civilization is over shortly. That's the 'future'. We survive ... the civilization dies. It was an experience. We do more later. End of story ... here, anyway. All the stupid asshole sequentials reincarnate on another planet and plague other people. Some of us move on.

"Store Owner Sues Pantry For Giving Away Free Food" [04/17/11]   "Emmanuel Dieujuste owner of Convenience Brand Grocery Store owner is suing the Apostolic Ark Pentecostal Church claiming church-run food pantry claiming is hurting his business. Dieujust said his landlord promised he would not have any competition in the same building. But two months later the Apostolic Ark Pentecostal Church opened its free food pantry in the storefront next door. Photo: Brian A. Pounds / Connecticut Post | [...]"   

"Catherine Zeta-Jones: I'm Bipolar" (May Live in Arctic or Antarctic Someday) [04/15/11]   "Catherine Zeta-Jones has revealed she has undergone treatment in a mental health clinic for her bipolar illness. "After dealing with the stress of the past year, Catherine made the decision to check in to a mental health facility for a brief stay to treat her Bipolar II disorder," said her publicist. The disorder, also known as manic depression, is marked by dramatic shifts in moods. Bipolar II is not as severe as Bipolar I.  [...]"  Note: Sequentials are prone to mental illness, as an aside. Now she has an 'excuse' for being the way she is to people.

Legal Case: "She Told Them She Would Kill Herself" [04/14/11] "A woman riding the rails with her dog, Ashes, trying to get home to Florida, told the Border Patrol that she was severely claustrophobic and if they arrested her or took her dog away, as they threatened to do, she would commit suicide. But they arrested her and took her dog away, and she hung herself with a coaxial cable in a jail cell, on live video, her family claims in Federal Court. [...]"  Note:  So, they might as well be charged with conspiracy and murder.

"Man Flees Naked After He's Robbed While Trying To Buy "Car"" [04/14/11] "A 24-year-old Madison man lost not only hundreds of dollars in cash but his clothes as well, fleeing naked after he was robbed when, he told police, he went to buy a car at an east-side apartment ... "As far as we could piece the details together, the victim heard of a car for sale while at a local barbershop," DeSpain said. "With cash in hand, the victim and girlfriend drove to the apartment."  Upon arriving at the Cottage Grove Road address, a woman greeted the victim outside and took him into the apartment. "It quickly became apparent to him that no deal for a car was being made," DeSpain said. "There were two masked men in the apartment, one pointing a gun at him." The victim apparently got so scared he threw his cash into the air. "The robbers then told him to strip naked, which he did before running out the door," DeSpain said. The victim also told police he grabbed a bag to cover his groin and not a box of cereal. The victim was evasive in providing details to police, such as what barbershop he was at when he heard of the car for sale. "He did disclose he had been attired in a red and white polo shirt, Levis and sneakers, prior to the ill-fated car buying trip," DeSpain said." [...]"  

"Mother Stabs 8-Year-Old Son, Claims 'God Made Me Do It'" [04/14/11] "A Kansas City, Mo., mother stabbed her 8-year-old son Tuesday morning and claimed that "God made me do it," according to Kansas City police. A probable cause statement said that Peggy Ross, 33, is charged with second-degree assault and first-degree endangering the welfare of a child, after police said she stabbed her 8-year-old son as he lay in his grandmother's bed. [...]"  

"Bank Robber Arrested After Dye Pack Explodes In His Pants'" [04/14/11] "A dye-pack from a bank exploded in a suspected robber's pant-pocket today, injuring the man and sending him running through a Winter Park shopping center. At about 11:20 a.m., a man gave a teller at the Bank of America on Aloma Avenue a note threatening employees and demanding money, Winter Park police said. After the teller gave the robber an undisclosed amount of money, he left the bank and headed eastbound through the shopping center. The dye-pack exploded, injuring the man, who then ran into the nearby Giovanni's Italian Restaurant to try to hide from police. Restaurant employees forced the suspect out of the business, and then chased him until they caught up with and detained the man in front of Jumbo Chinese Restaurant, police said. Officers arrived and arrested the man, whose identity was not released. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Cops Must Face Trial for Arresting Homeowners" [04/12/11] "Several police officers cannot get immunity for arresting a reverend, his wife and the couple's houseguest for breaking and entering into their own home, the 6th Circuit ruled. A neighbor of the Rev. Joseph Barton in Southgate, Mich., called the police to report a possible robbery in 2003.  At the time, Kendra Huckaby was packing items into a white Ford Taurus parked outside the house. She had been staying with Barton and his wife, Faith Pierce, from out of town and was preparing to drive back to her father's home in Kentucky. [...]"  Note: It always seems to be the nosey neighbor who is the cause of so much grief in society. It's time nosey neighbors pay a price in society ... I see this all the time in the news.

"Lifehack of the Day" [04/12/11] [4:22]   "In Soviet Russia, this is a perfectly safe, very well thought-out approach toward avoiding traffic jams. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Woman Dies In Fire On Northampton To London Train" [04/12/11] "A woman has died after a fire broke out on a rush hour train travelling from Northampton to London. The blaze is believed to have started in a toilet on the London Midland railways train at about 1705 BST on Monday. It is thought the 43-year-old woman started the fire and intended to kill herself. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "S.C. Teen Dies In Crash On Highway Named For His Father" [04/10/11] "His Honda was hit head-on when a westbound Chevrolet pickup crossed the center line of the two-lane road.  [...]"  Note: No doubt his astrological situation was a nightmare ... this was not an 'accident' in the common sense of the word.

Concepts and Practices: "The "Nonplussed" Problem" [04/10/11]   "Suppose a friend said to you, "I know you're disinterested, so I want to ask you a question presently." Then he didn't say anything. Would you be momentarily nonplussed? Quite likely, yes. The above paragraph contains four words whose primary definitions have changed or are currently changing. Disinterested traditionally meant "impartial," and now is generally used to mean "uninterested." Presently has gone from "shortly" to "currently"; momentarily from "for a moment" to "in a moment"; and nonplussed from perplexed to unimpressed, or fazed to unfazed. To lend support to my theory that the new meanings now dominate popular usage, I gave an un-graded and anonymous quiz to one of my college classes—an advanced writing seminar. Here is the percentage who gave the "wrong"/new definition: [...] But using a meaning on its way to extinction can be nobler than such exhibitionism. Balancing the possibility that you'll confuse your audience, and the prospect of appearing pretentious or dorky, is the chance that the old meaning could be a really good meaning, which no other word conveys precisely. There is no exact synonym for (the old-fashioned) disinterested, for example. In such cases, keeping a "legacy" sense in circulation is laudable activism in pursuit of semantic sustainability—as if you found some members of a near-extinct species of mollusk and built a welcoming environment in which they could breed. [...] "   

"Jagermeister Man Tries To Smoke His Hearing Aid" [04/09/11]   "It was around 8:50 p.m. Tuesday when David Wagner tried to light his hearing aid with a lighter, apparently mistaking it for a cigarette. Wagner, 53, was behind the wheel of a Saturn in the Jensen Beach area after a Martin County Sheriff's Office deputy smelled alcohol and called another deputy to complete a DUI investigation, according to recently released records. As that deputy approached, Wagner was in the driver's seat. "He was trying to light one of his hearing aids with a lighter," an affidavit states. "I noticed that there was another hearing aid in his lap."[...]"  

"Maine Legalizing Switchblades For One-Armed People" [04/09/11]   "Backers of the measure say legalizing switchblades would eliminate a need for one-armed people to be forced to open folding knives with their teeth in emergencies. The bill to allow amputees and other one-armed people to carry the quick-opening knives cleared Maine's Senate on Wednesday after passing the House on Tuesday, Senate officials said. [...]"  Note: Now there's a sorely neglected segment of the population. 

"Charlotte Robbery Suspect Drops T-Shirt With Own Picture At Crime Scene" [04/09/11] "A suspect in a North Carolina home invasion robbery is in jail after a T-shirt bearing his photo was found outside the crime scene. The Charlotte Observer reports Friday that the shirt fell out of the suspect's car as he was making a hasty getaway. [...]"   

"China Bans Time Travel Movies" [04/07/11] " China’s censors are taking a hard line against... flux capacitors? Yes, it seems that time travel TV shows and movies have become increasingly popular in China, and regulators at the General Bureau of Radio, Film and Television are sick of them. They issued a declaration last week calling for a halt on all such dramas, Tech Dirt reports. “Many stories are totally made up,” the bureau complained."   [...]"  Note:  The Chinese need to grasp an American colloquialism: "Duh". Of course they're made up ... it's an intellectual exercise ... I mean, who would want to 'go back in time' and eliminate baby Mao ... who, I ask ...

"Woman Slices Cable While Scavenging -- Cuts Off Internet To Armenia" [04/07/11]   "An elderly Georgian woman was scavenging for copper to sell as scrap when she accidentally sliced through an underground cable and cut off internet services to all of neighbouring Armenia, it emerged on Wednesday. The woman, 75, had been digging for the metal not far from the capital Tbilisi when her spade damaged the fibre-optic cable on 28 March. As Georgia provides 90% of Armenia's internet, the woman's unwitting sabotage had catastrophic consequences. Web users in the nation of 3.2 million people were left twiddling their thumbs for up to five hours as the country's main internet providers - ArmenTel, FiberNet Communication and GNC-Alfa – were prevented from supplying their normal service. Television pictures showed reporters at a news agency in the capital Yerevan staring glumly at blank screens. Large parts of Georgia and some areas of Azerbaijan were also affected. "It was a 75-year-old woman who was digging for copper in the ground so that she could sell it for scrap," said a spokesman for Georgia's interior ministry said yesterday. Dubbed "the spade-hacker" by local media, the woman – who has not been named – is being investigated on suspicion of damaging property. She faces up to three years in prison if charged and convicted. A spokesman for Georgia's interior ministry said the woman was temporarily released "on account of her old age" but could face more questioning. [...]"   

"Iowa Family Receives 3AM Visit From Drunk Pawlenty Campaign Worker" [04/07/11] "A 15-year-old girl found a campaign worker from Alabama banging on her Ankeny family's back door early Wednesday morning. Chloe Steward told KCCI she heard her dog barking around 3 a.m. and went to investigate. She said she found a man trying to get into the back door. 'His arm was in my back door, trying to get in and I screamed and went upstairs to my parents room and I continued screaming,' said Chloe Steward. The family then called police. Police discovered Benjamin Foster, an employee of the Pawlenty Exploratory Committee, and subsequently arrested him on charges of public drunkenness and trespassing. KCCI reports that Foster was "trying to get home to a friend's house," when he went all Robert Downey, Jr. on young Chloe Steward. [...]" 

" Man Accused of Using Vacuum to Suck Coins Out of Laundromat Machines" [04/07/11]   [0:00] "The vacuum remains at large, but Lincoln police ticketed a man who they believe used one to suck a bunch of quarters out of several apartment house laundry machines. After surveillance photos from the March 4 laundry room theft were released Friday, police received three tips via Crimestoppers that identified the suspect as William Logan Jr., 40, 5709 Hartley St. Officer Katie Flood said police contacted Logan on Tuesday morning and cited him on suspicion of misdemeanor theft. The owner of an apartment building near 48th and Holdrege streets installed a camera in the laundry room after noticing someone had been stealing quarters from the machines, according to a police report. On March 4, at about 3:40 a.m., a man entered the laundry room. He had a mountain bike in tow and was wearing a blue backpack, which contained a vacuum. The video shows the man prying open the coin tray, plugging in the vacuum and sucking out the change. Flood said Logan, who has three prior theft convictions in Lincoln, no longer had possession of the vacuum when police ticketed him Tuesday. [...]"  Note: Now, there's change you can believe in.

Legal Case: "Creepy Boss Killed Himself, Woman Says" [04/07/11]   "A hospital technician says she was fired after she rejected her supervisor's repeated sexual advances and gave the hospital a recording to substantiate her complaints. The day after the hospital listened to the recording, she says, her boss killed himself. [...]"

"Border Patrol Spends $1 Million Making Videogame Simulating Their Job..." [04/07/11]   "Researchers at a government-funded laboratory have built a giant touchscreen video game that simulates the capture of illegal aliens. In a statement made to Kotaku by an official spokesman, the entire project and underlying systems cost "in the ballpark of $10 million [worth] of internal investments," with the Department of Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection contributing the final $1 million to create their border simulator. [...]"    Related:   Video clip [3:40] 

Legal Case: "Bizarre Claim Against Suicide's Estate" [04/06/11] "A homeowner claims the owner of a construction company sandblasted all the stucco off her house without permission, apparently while in a delusional state, before he killed himself. Joanna Staudinger claims that in early March, Robert Thom, president of Construction Services US, "told her that he had just come into a large sum of money, and that he wanted to use a portion of the money to re-stucco and fix up plaintiff's house so that he could use it an as example of his quality of work." Staudinger says her home did not need to be re-stuccoed, so she declined - but Thom hired a sandblaster anyway, who blasted the stucco off the whole house. She says she learned later that Thom "was delusional as the result of an adverse reaction to medications and had not come into a large sum of money and had been telling many people he would do things that he could not do." Thom's body was found March 16 in a ravine in Malibu Canyon, and "the coroner has declared it was a possible suicide," according to the complaint. Staudinger seeks damages from Construction Services US and Thom's estate. She is represented in Superior Court by Timothy Hogan. [...] 

" Man Claiming To Have Gun Demands To Be Charged $1 For Fries" [04/06/11] "He told the Buffalo Wild Wings workers that someone would get hurt if his request for discounted fries was denied. Police said he didn't actually have a gun. The guy apparently failed to use his best defense: this happened on April Fools' Day. (This is in the "disorderly conduct" part of the police blotter.) (Evanston Patch) [...]"  

"Man Accused Of Whipping Kids For Turning Off Christian Channel" [04/06/11] "Stanley Chukwudi Ogbonna, 33, told police he was angry because his children had lied about how the channel was changed from the Christian station to something else. He admitted he grabbed a cord and struck his 10-year-old daughter across the head or neck. (St. Paul Pioneer Press) [...]"  

"Man Wants Snake Designated As His Service Animal" [04/06/11] "He says he uses it to detect when a seizure might be coming on. "Red Rock is an early warning sensor for my epilepsy," says Daniel Greene, adding that the snake also warns him if he has an anxiety attack coming on. (MyNorthwest.com) [...]"  

"Boy Who Stabbed School Cop Had 11 Bottles Of Gas In Toilet Stall" [04/06/11] "The boy told investigators he brought the eleven 12-ounce glass bottles of gasoline to school to scare some students who he claimed were bullying him. He said he didn't intend to harm anyone and didn't plan on setting the school on fire. However, he did have a lighter on him. (TampaBay.com) [...]"  

"Man Holds Sword In One Hand, Guitar In Other In Tattoo Shop Attack" [04/06/11] "The ambush turned ugly for the guy when one of his victims retaliated by slamming a glass tabletop over his head — leaving him in a wheelchair with a bloody face and in jail on two counts of attempted second-degree murder. (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"  Note: And we thought our day was tough. 

"Mooner Says Deputies Beat Him Senseless" [04/06/11]    "A man says Franklin County sheriff's deputies savagely beat and Tasered him in jail, breaking his jaw and knocking out three teeth, after arresting him for mooning his garbage man.  [...]"    

"I Hope You Get Rabies," Girl Tells Cop After Biting Him" [04/04/11] "The 16-year-old girl -- busted for drugs -- didn't achieve her goal; the bite didn't break the officer's skin. Lakeland Ledger [...]"  Note: Since rabies comes from a rabid animal, did this ignorant girl admit she's been raised by wolves, and that she's the 'bitch du jour"?

  Date With Destiny: "92-Year-Old On Trial For Brutally Killing Her 98-Year-Old Husband..." [04/04/11] "Clara Tang is charged with stabbing and bludgeoning her wealthy husband to death in their home in Sydney, Australia last year, the Sun-Herald reported. When cops found her, they say Tang was soaked in blood after stabbing Ching Yung Tang twice in the stomach and bashing in his head. She has pleaded not guilty due to mental illness. Her lawyers say she suffers from dementia and had feared her husband was trying to poison her. She was initially denied bail due to "the level of violence" in the killing, but was later allowed to move into a nursing home. Court papers show the couple survived both the Japanese invasion of China and Mao's Cultural Revolution before moving to Australia 30 years ago. [...]"  Note: Sequentials, battling it out until next time. 

"Cabby Guns Engine, Causing Would-Be Robber To Fall Out Of Car" [04/01/11] "A cabdriver was able to escape from an armed robber, who was sitting in the back seat of the cab with the door open, by gunning the vehicle and swerving, causing the robber to fall out. The driver said he had picked up a fare in the 900 block of South Fourth Street about 1 a.m. Tuesday. The man opened the back door of the cab and sat on the passenger side with the door open. The driver said the man pulled a handgun and pointed it at him, saying, “Give me everything you have.” The driver said he froze momentarily, and the robber reached forward and put the weapon against the his neck. The victim realized the car was still in drive, so he floored the accelerator and jerked the steering wheel back and forth, causing the robber to fly out of the open passenger door, he told police. The robber ran away without any cash. (Springfield State Journal-Register) [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Olympic Judo Silver Medalist Commits Suicide " [04/01/11]   "Olympic judo silver medalist Claudia Heill of Austria reportedly committed suicide by jumping out of a sixth-story window in central Vienna. The Austrian judo federation said that "nobody could foresee this act of desperation" from the 29-year-old. She won the silver medal in the under-63 kilogram category at the 2004 Athens Olympics. Heill retired one year after the 2008 Beijing Olympics where she finished in fifth place.  [...]"   

"Surgery Removes Mummified Foetus" [03/30/11] "Dominican doctors removed the mummified remains of a foetus from a 59-year-old woman, who had suffered stomach pain for decades. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Bad Tipper Accused Of Killing Car Wash Worker Is Denied Bail" [03/29/11] "Marcus Gordon took his 2002 Toyota Camry to be washed but got in a fight with car-wash staff after they refused to dry his car because he had a reputation for not tipping. Gordon returned to the place and allegedly shot one of the employees. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "China Bus Narrowly Escapes Falling Concrete" [03/29/11] [0:39]  "CCTV cameras aboard a bus in China have captured the moment the driver averted disaster, as a concrete aqueduct collapsed over a motorway. Jane-Frances Kelly explains how the bus narrowly escaped. [...]"   

"Angry Bikini-Clad Burger King Customer Trashes The Place" [03/25/11] "A video shows the woman standing on a counter to shout at a cashier she’d argued with in the drive-through moments earlier. About halfway through clip, the dining room explodes with flying napkins, trays, straws, and food. [...]" 

"Walmart Employee Attacks Co-Worker Over Fling With Hubby" [03/25/11]   "When a cop asked the victim if she was injured, she raised her hand to show that the tip of her right ring finger was missing. (Naples Daily News) [...]"  Related:   "Man Follows Woman Around Walmart To Videotape Her Rear"  "The 28-year-old man was arrested after following the woman in the store for several minutes and videotaping her without her consent. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) [...]"  Note:  More people raised by wolves.

"Around The World In 2,000 Pictures" [03/23/11]   [5:36] Full Screen "The ability to travel quickly is elusive to practically the entire world, save a few people it seems. First came Corinne Vionnet's striking photos of super-imposed images of the world's most famous structures. Next came Luke Shepard's super-cool video of Paris created by combining 2,000 photos of the city of light. Just last week, there was a 2-minute video of a road-trip made by clustering photos together. Now comes a short video by Alex Profit claiming to take viewers around the world in 2,000 pictures. While the video highlights Prague, London, Paris, Berlin, Shanghai and New York, among others, the video leaves out all of South America, Australia and Africa. Still, it's fun for all those arm-chair travelers out there. [...]"  Note: Other video tours on the page.

"South Park' Creators Mock Mormons In New Broadway Musical: The Book of Mormon" [03/23/11] "The Book of Mormon," which stars Josh Gad and Andrew Rannells, has foul language, some brilliantly sarcastic songs, references to genital mutilation, plenty of suppressed homosexuality, tap-dancing Mormons, war crimes threatened on an infant, Darth Vader and a character who repeatedly complains about having maggots in his scrotum. While the show makes fun of several Broadway shows including "Fela!" and "The Lion King," audience members at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre may be surprised that Parker and Stone have maintained the structure and feel of a traditional musical. "We thought from the very beginning that the biggest challenge was to write a real Broadway musical," says Stone. "With unconventional material, sure. But to do unconventional material conventionally." [...]"    Note: I think they should have called it the 'Book of Morm" .

"13 Illegal Immigrants Arrested In California Wearing U.S. Marine Uniforms" [03/23/11] "All of the vehicle’s occupants wore U.S. Marine uniforms, reportedly emblazoned with the name “Perez.” [...]"  Note: And it was so hard to gather all the relatives together ...

IA:"Youth Pastor Sexually Exploited Teens To ‘Help Them Gain Purity’" [03/22/11]   "A former youth pastor arrested in Iowa on 60 counts of suspicion of sexual exploitation allegedly told teenage boys he was trying to help them gain "sexual purity in the eyes of God." [...]"  Note: This gives 'bible beating' a whole new 'feel'.

TX: "Man Upset About Burrito Price Gets In Shoot-Out With Cops" [03/22/11] "The customer was so upset by the price hike -- from 99 cents to $1.49 -- that he shot an air gun at the manager, displayed a rifle and pistol while in the restaurant's parking lot, fled as police were called, exchanged shots with three cops who pulled him over, and then barricaded himself in his hotel room. (San Antonio Express-News) [...]"  Note: All over 50 cents.  

CA:"Children Rob Woman At Knifepoint" [03/22/11] "Police are appealing for witnesses after a woman in her 50s was robbed by children in Holywood last week. The woman was returning to her mobility scooter last Tuesday evening when a group of youths aged about 12 approached her. One of them asked if they could try the scooter and when she refused, he produced a knife, demanded money and took cash from her purse. Two youths took the scooter, but were stopped by a passing driver. The woman was unhurt, but extremely shaken by her ordeal.  [...]"  Note: Well ... the kids could have been searching other areas for valuables ... so she's lucky she's not in Pennsylvania, where the kids are bound to be worse than the TSA.

PA: "Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Vagina" [03/21/11] "* 54 bags of heroin * 31 empty heroin bags * 8 prescription pills * $51.22 in cash and change. Twenty- seven-year-old Pennsylannia woman, Karin Mackaliunas, was arrested for suspected burglary and reckless driving. After a routine strip search, authorities discovered all of the items listed above stored in her vagina. Now that's a vagina! Why bother with a purse when you can carry everything you need between your legs?  [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Moron Needlessly Kills 70-Year-Old Man With Rock In A Sock Using Religion As Excuse" [03/20/11] "A Delaware County man has been arrested and charged with murder in the beating death of an elderly Landsdowne man who had befriended him and made him executor and sole beneficiary of his will. John Joe Thomas, 28, of the first block of Sunshine Road in Upper Darby, allegedly told police he killed Murray Joseph Seidman, 70, because "the older man had made sexual advances" and that the Old Testament spelled out stoning as the punishment for homosexuality. "I stoned Murray with a rock in a sock," Thomas said to police, according to court documents. [...]"  Note: Dumber than a stone.  

"FKN Newz: Radioactive Bullshit Fallout – 03/19/2011" [03/20/11] [10:42]  The USA has found a way of getting rid of their nuclear waste. They spread it around Iraq, Afghanistan, and Hungry.

Legal Case: "City Not Liable for Blind Jogger's Fall Into Hole" [03/19/11] "PORTLAND, Ore. (CN) - A federal judge dismissed a disability discrimination lawsuit brought by a legally blind jogger against a city, finding that the jogger could not prove malice when she fell into a deep, unmarked hole in a park. Emily Johnson, 28, claimed that the city should have put up warnings as well as covered and barricaded a hole where two city employees were working on the sprinkler system in Portland's Tom McCall Waterfront Park.  While anyone could have been injured falling into the hole, Johnson claimed the lack of safety measures taken by the city demonstrated specific discrimination against people who are visually impaired. But District Judge Robert Jones found that she failed to show that the city discriminated against her "solely on the basis of disability." Jones wrote that there was not any history of disability discrimination cases where "an entity was held liable in absence of any evidence that the entity even knew about the plaintiff, let alone his or her disability, before the alleged discrimination occurred." "I conclude that there is no evidence from which a reasonable fact-finder could conclude that the City discriminated against plaintiff "solely by reason of her disability," Jones wrote. He also dismissed the negligence claim against the city with prejudice, citing the Public Uses of Land Act, which limits the city's liability toward people using the land for recreational purposes [...]"  

Date With Destiny:  "Border Patrol Beats a Man to Death" Legal Case [03/18/11] "Two dozen Border Patrol agents beat a man to death at the San Ysidro Port of entry while onlookers screamed for them to stop, his family says in Federal Court. "At one point, there were approximately 20 to 25 agents taking part in beating, kicking or punching Mr. [Anastacio] Hernandez-Rojas ..." the complaint states. "The beating continued for several minutes. At some point, federal officer Doe 3 pulled out a Taser and fired it at Mr. Hernandez-Rojas while he lay beaten on the ground. He discharged the Taser several times. Mr. Hernandez-Rojas stopped screaming after being Tased. "Paramedics arrived on scene. By the time of their arrival Mr. Hernandez had not been breathing for at least 8 minutes. Mr. Hernandez-Rojas was transported to Sharp Chula Vista [hospital] and pronounced brain dead. [...]"  Note: Twenty years each for 25 agents .... is what they deserve ...

Date With Destiny: "Cocaine Scandal Engulfs NASA Workers" [03/16/11] "A packet of white powder found at NASA's Kennedy Space Centre in Florida, where the space shuttle launches, has tested positive for cocaine, NASA's Inspector General's office has confirmed. The packet contained "4.2 grams of a white powdery substance" and was "found in a NASA facility at KSC on March 7," said spokeswoman Renee Juhans. "Law enforcement personnel field tested the substance - which indicated a positive test for cocaine. The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing," she said. NASA has a zero-tolerance drug policy. Ms Juhans declined to comment on exactly where at Kennedy Space Centre the cocaine was found, or if any employees had showed positive results in drug tests. On Monday, an engineer who worked for a company that contracts with NASA fell to his death while working at the Kennedy Space Centre launch pad where the shuttle Endeavour is set for lift-off next month. Asked if there was believed to be any link between the two events, Ms Juhans said: "No comment." [...]"  Note: In either case, for the engineer, 'liftoff' was achieved  .... falling off a tower will do that ... a date with destiny ... whether or not he had help will be determined.

FL:  "Food Fight At Bakery: Man Charged With Battery On Elderly Woman" [03/15/11]   "The woman says while in line for a bread sample at Publix, Steven Weiner pushed her aside as he tried to reach the bread, coming in contact with her already broken arm that was in a sling. When police responded to the Publix, on Military Trail, Sunday, Weiner said he was standing behind a woman waiting for a sample of bread and the woman yelled at him, calling him an "idiot". He didn't like that, he said, so he threw a piece of bread at her, the police report says. (Palm Beach Post) [...]"  

OK: "Teen With VURT Shirt Busted For Pleasuring Self In Drive-Thru" [03/15/11]   "The author of this story calls it "a sick case of irony" that the flasher was wearing a Vurt shirt because it might stand for "pervert." (Um, sorry, no.) The Sonic employee who witnessed the act says that "it was disgusting and I really felt violated." She can rest easier now that the guy has been nabbed. [...]"  Note: Another one raised by wolves.  

ID: "Man Arrested For Using Police Lights App To Pull Over Drivers" [03/15/11]   "Alexander A. Welch is being held in the Ada County Jail on a felony charge of unlawful exercise of the function of peace officers after Boise police say he used a cell phone app that flashes blue and red to try to pull over another car Saturday night ... The felony crime of unlawful exercise of the function of peace officers is punishable by up to five years in prison. [...]"    

GA: "Feds: Alleged Ecstasy Smuggler Hid Her Stash In Octomomesque Protuberance" [03/15/11]   "A Georgia woman is facing a federal drug rap for allegedly trying to smuggle a large stash of Ecstasy into the country over a bridge connecting Canada to Buffalo. Leeann Corley, 25, was aboard a Greyhound bus last Thursday night when border agents became suspicious of her claim that she was eight months pregnant and was returning to the U.S. after visiting a sick aunt. During a pat down search, investigators discovered that Corley was “wearing a body suit with a modified stomach area,” according to a U.S. District Court complaint. As seen in the above evidence photo (click to enlarge), that “modified stomach area” contained “33 zip lock bags containing colored pills.” The seized narcotics weighed 21.63 pounds, and border agents extrapolated that the bags contained a total of 34,230 Ecstasy pills. While Corley was not photographed in her “pregnant” state, her purported protuberance would likely have been Octomomesque. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Japan Earthquake: The Path Of The Tsunami" [03/14/11] [3:06] Related: "Footage Of Moment Tsunami Hit" [1:56]   Note: The cries of grief and anguish ... it's what happens ... 

"Mummified Remains Of Pack Rack's Mother Found In Messy Home" [03/13/11]   "This woman always had excuses as to where [her mother] might be," says a morgue employee. "As time went on, people just stopped asking." (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: "Golden Gate Bridge Jumper Survives Plunge " [03/12/11] "Authorities recommended a psychological evaluation for a high school student who survived a 220-foot leap from the Golden Gate Bridge, although they do not believe the jump was a suicide attempt, a California Highway Patrol spokesman said.  ...  Surviving a jump at all from Golden Gate Bridge is a rare feat. Last year, 32 people committed suicide by leaping into the water. The impact tends to cause severe internal injuries and broken bones. Those not killed by the fall itself often drown. About 98 percent of jumps from the bridge end in death. Yet according to the boy's Sonoma County high school, he suffered little more than bruising and tenderness. "He was swimming on his own," said surfer Eric Wagner. "He had a little assistance just to come back in, but he made it in all right. It was pretty amazing." [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Lightning Kills Mom, 4 Kids" [03/12/11]   "A mother and her four children were struck dead by lightning when a bolt struck their thatched home in South Africa. Busisiwe Mdluli, 36, dropped dead alongside her children, ages 6 months to 12 years old. Three other children survived but were badly burned. The father was away at work when the tragedy occurred, reports the Telegraph. "He is absolutely shattered," said a local official. "The poor man lost half of his family in one moment."  [...]"  

FKN News: "Earthquake Newsgasm Tsunami - 03/11/11 " [03/12/11] [10:13]  Deek Jackson does his best to create a mockumentary around current events.

"Monkey In Woman's Bra Makes Waves At Amherst Courthouse" [03/11/11] Video Included  "Authorities said a woman entered the Amherst County Courthouse on Thursday morning with a tiny monkey tucked into her bra, dressed in diapers and a pink and white dress.  The unusual event occurred when the woman arrived for a hearing in Juvenile and Domestic Relations court. Officials said they had no idea the woman had the monkey until the she went into an office for a routine procedure to fill out court-related paperwork. When the woman referred to a daughter, a puzzled official asked where the daughter was and the woman pulled the monkey out of her bra. Officials confirmed the incident, from the commonwealth’s attorney, Stephanie Maddox, to deputies who were working in the courthouse. They did not identify the woman. “You couldn’t make up something like this,” Maddox said. But it was no big deal, the woman said later, because her tiny marmoset turns seven weeks old today and is, in the parlance of monkeys, an infant who needs constant attention. “I can’t understand why the deputy didn’t see her — she was peeking out” from the cleavage of her blouse, she said. [...]"   

Legal Case: "Dizzying Tale of an Isaac Newton Portrait" [03/10/11]   "An investment fund claims it was conned by a self-described "master illusionist" who persuaded it to invest in rare books and art - including a portrait of Sir Isaac Newton - and then absconded with more than $543,000 and a bunch of the loot.  Ensign Consulting Ltd., of the Virgin Islands, claims lead defendant Al Seckel spent years crafting a persona with the appearance of respectability before he approached one of its consultants about an investment in rare antique globes. Four months later, Seckel claimed to have sold the globes for a 30 percent profit, splitting the proceeds 50-50 with Ensign, according to the complaint. Soon Seckel approached Ensign again, telling its consultant (nonparty) Adam Gold that he was "at a chateau, where believe it or not, the owner has an enormous collection of antiquarian science books inherited from her dad," according to the Superior Court complaint. "It is a stunning collection. I am trying to negotiate it out now, but will only do so at a price that makes a lot of sense," the complaint states, citing Seckel. Less than two weeks later, [...]"   

"Jewish Student Sues UC Berkeley For Not Protecting Her" Jerusalem Post [03/10/11] "A student has brought a federal civil rights lawsuit against the University of California, Berkeley, saying the university did not protect her from being attacked because she is Jewish. Lawyers for Jessica Felber, 20, say the case, filed in US District Court in Oakland, Calif., on March 4 against the university, the regents of the University of California and their ranking officials, is the first of its kind.  [...]"  Note: All of this from an immature 20-year-old stuck in eternal victimhood.  

UK: "Man Falsely Accused Of Rape Released After 17 Years, Given Bill For Missed Child Support Payments" [03/10/11] "An innocent man jailed for 17 years after being wrongfully convicted of rape will not get any compensation for the time he spent behind bars - but he has been given a $111,000 bill for backdated child maintenance payments. [...]"  Note: The guy probably has a very bad astrological situation in that life.  

"Nun Cried Rape To Cover Up Convent Fling" [03/09/11] "Mary Turcotte told police she was "ambushed by a huge black man who choked her, dragged her in her habit for eight blocks and then raped her." She said she woke up in the snow with her underwear pulled down and her breasts exposed. The 26-year-old has since recanted, telling police she made it all up. [...] Ms Turcotte is a member of the Apostles of Infinite Love convent, which is believed to have links with a Canadian-based order founded in the 1960s started by a defrocked Catholic priest who ordained himself as Pope. Police have not charged Ms Turcotte. "   

"Limbaugh/Hannity Parent Company Admits Hiring Actors to Call Radio Shows" [03/09/11] Note: Probably because by this point, no one who is astute really cares.

"Intruder Calls 911 After Fearing Homeowner's Gun, Two Dogs" [03/08/11] "The home invader was in the shower when he realized the owner was behind the door. Both ended up on the phone, calling 911. (Oregonian.com) There is a reason Timothy James Chapek's hair looks so shiny in a mugshot released last night by the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office: authorities say he was showering when he realized he wasn't alone in a house in Washington Park. The house he had reportedly broken into. When Chapek called 9-1-1 just after 7 p.m. Monday, police say he reported to dispatchers what he had done. And he shared his worry that the homeowner outside the bathroom door might have a gun and most certainly had two eager German shepherd dogs. Meanwhile, the homeowner also called 9-1-1, confirming the trespasser's story, according to Sgt. Pete Simpson, a police spokesman. The homeowner, age 55, and her daughter had just returned home from a brief trip to the grocery when she heard a man's voice coming from the bathroom, a police report said. The woman ordered her daughter to leave while she yelled outside the bathroom door, demanding to know who was there. Listen to the calls from both parties to the 9/11 operator [...]"  

"Woman Sues Ex-Fiance For $62,814 After Hook-Up Ruins Plans" [03/08/11]    "Their marriage plans fell apart after she found text messages showing he "hooked up" with a woman he met during his Las Vegas bachelor party. (Las Vegas Sun) [...]"  Note: Sequential from hell .... and the guy raised by wolves ...

"Ex-Paramedic Sued For Taking Man's Foot From Accident Scene" [03/08/11]   "She says she did it to help train her body-recovery dog. The victim's lawsuit says the act was "outrageous and went beyond the bounds of decency ... was odious and utterly intolerable in a civilized society." (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"   

" Drunk Arrested Priest Offers Oral Sex to Cops, Promises the Wrath of Oprah" [03/08/11]  "A priest from Ohio was arrested on Sunday for DUI after he wrecked his car. It's pretty much your standard man of faith gone wrong story, until what happened next... Once in jail, Father Ignatius Kury started misbehaving. And that's where nakedness and Oprah comes into the mix. According to the police and the video, Kury started to complain about the rash that the handcuffs were giving him. Then he started asking for his freedom. He asked the cops if "blow jobs" were "what they wanted" and apparently started exposing himself. [...]" 

"Walmart Greeter, 83, Tried To Rob Store" [03/08/11]   "Police have charged an 83-year-old greeter at a North Carolina Walmart with trying to rob the store over the weekend.Police said George Plane Jr. of Mooresville was working Sunday night when he went to his car, donned a disguise and walked back inside the Statesville store with a gun.Statesville Police Chief Tom Anderson says Plane put the gun to a fellow employee's head and demanded money from a cash register. Anderson says Plane fired a shot in the air after leaving with the money. Plane was arrested later Sunday. He was being held Monday on multiple charges, including robbery with a dangerous weapon.It could not be immediately determined Monday if he has a lawyer.  [...]"   

"Man Just Can't Go Through With His Walgreens Hold-Up, Gives Knife To Clerk" [03/08/11]  "A man apparently couldn't bring himself to rob a store on the UW-Madison campus on Friday, turning a large knife over to a clerk as he waited for police to arrest him. Joseph Colquitt, 34, was tentatively arrested for disorderly conduct while armed and for a parole violation. The incident occurred at about 8:30 a.m. Friday at the Walgreens at 311 East Campus Mall, the Madison Police Department reported. According to police, Colquitt planned to rob the store, but once inside the store, he just couldn't do it. [...]" 

"9 Accidentally Incriminating Names " [03/08/11]   "What's in a name? If you're one of these nine offenders, a predisposition to getting arrested sure is one thing. These various convicts and suspects might have done something wrong, but we'd like to think their ironic and/or incriminating names had something to do with it. Would Draco Slaughter be trying to bomb people if his name was Charlie Happypants? Would "Mister Love" be a sex offender if his name was Wilson Touchmenot? See all the accidentally incriminating names below and vote for your favorite! [...]"   

"She Poisoned Her For The Gas Money" [03/06/11] "Authorities in northeastern Pennsylvania are accusing an elderly woman of poisoning her son's girlfriend with antifreeze to try to keep her away from money he was getting in a natural gas deal. Investigators say 41-year-old Dawn Simyan of Pittstown spent three weeks in Wilkes-Barre General Hospital in April. On Friday, they charged 79-year-old Helen Lucy Galli of Wyoming, Pa., with aggravated assault, simple assault and recklessly endangering another person. Investigators allege that Galli was worried that Simyan would get money that her son, 53-year-old Victor Galli, had obtained from a natural gas lease in Wyoming County. Galli was arraigned Friday and released on $25,000 bail.  [...]"     Note: More nut cases from Pennsylvania ....

"City Cop Fired, Charged With Assault, Terroristic Threats" [03/06/11] "John King couldn't keep his cool when he got into a spat with a hospital security guard in 2009, and it ended up costing him big time. King, a veteran Philadelphia police officer who had 14 years on the job, was booted from the force yesterday by Commissioner Charles Ramsey. The 54-year-old officer was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, terroristic threats and related offenses for his alleged role in a confrontation inside Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital.  King was off duty and not in uniform when he walked into the hospital, on Cedar Avenue near 53rd Street, on Oct. 14, 2009. A security guard asked him to sign in at the visitor's entrance, and King got physical, the District Attorney's Office said. A brief fight ensued, and King allegedly pulled out a handgun and pointed it at the guard, police said. King, who had worked in Southwest Philly's 12th District, surrendered to investigators yesterday. He's the 15th Philadelphia cop in the last year to be arrested and fired from the force. [...]"  Note: More nut cases from Pennsylvania ....

"It's Best Not To Post Facebook Pics Of Yourself Holding Pipe Bombs" [03/05/11] "Ernesto Garcia-Bristo was arrested after doing that, and writing that he made the bombs to use against another person.  [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Sacked Indian Workers Burn Factory Boss In His Car" [03/04/11] "Indian police have detained two people after an angry mob of sacked workers burned to death a senior executive of a steel factory, an official said. After learning they had been laid off, about a dozen workers attacked a vehicle carrying Radhey Shyam Roy as he was leaving the factory in eastern Orissa state on Thursday, dousing the Jeep with petrol and setting it on fire, said police superintendent Ajay Kumar Sarangi. Two other people in the vehicle were allowed to flee but Roy, 59, was trapped inside and later died of severe burns, Sarangi said. Incidents of industrial violence are common in India, where workers often target executives in cases of wage disputes and job losses. In 2008, scores of dismissed employees of an Italian manufacturing company, Graziano Trasmissioni India, used iron rods and wooden sticks to beat to death the company's local chief executive officer on the outskirts of New Delhi. [...]"  Note: I guess they don't need a union to get things done at work ...

Date With Destiny: "Obese Spokesman For Heart Attack Grill Is Dead At 29" [03/04/11] "Cynical people might think this death is funny," says the restaurant's founder. "But people who knew him are crying their eyes out. There is a lot of mourning going on around here. You couldn't have found a better person." Blair River weighed 575 pounds. (Arizona Republic) [...]"    

Date With Destiny: "River Plunge Children 'Screaming'" [03/04/11]   "Two children trapped inside a sinking car banged on the windows and screamed for help, a court has heard. Eyewitnesses told of seeing a car driven by Christopher Grady, 42, go faster and faster into the River Avon in Worcestershire. Mr Grady denies murdering daughter Gabrielle Grady, five, and attempting to kill Ryan, aged six, in February last year. Birmingham Crown Court heard the scene was "like a horror movie."  [...]"   

"Prof Defends Woman's Use Of Sex Toy In After-Class Demonstration" [03/03/11] "The optional Northwestern University presentation, attended by about 120 students, featured a naked non-student woman being repeatedly sexually stimulated to the point of orgasm by the sex toy, referred to as a "fucksaw." The device is essentially a motorized phallus. Daily Northwestern) [...]"  Note: I'm not touching this one with any size pole.

"Man With Rotisserie Chicken In His Pants Arrested At Walmart" [03/03/11] "Chicken wings, a mouth guard and two toothbrushes were also stuffed in his trousers. (Rome News-Tribune) [...]"  Note:  I guess that blows 'survival of the fittest' out of the water again ...

"Monkeys In Pirate Suits Confiscated In Louisiana" [03/03/11] "Louisiana wildlife officials confiscated four monkeys in pirate costumes from an autistic woman visiting New Orleans for Carnival. Joan Newberger, 66, and her caretaker, James Poole, said they and the four monkeys were dressed as pirates on Bourbon Street during the weekend when police and wildlife agents approached them and seized the small primates, WWLT-TV, New Orleans, reported Wednesday. Newberger said the seizure was illegal because the primates are registered as her "service monkeys" with a group in Texas. However, the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries said the monkeys do not meet the Americans with Disabilities Act's definition of service animals. Possession of primates has been illegal in Louisiana since 2006. Newberger is scheduled to appear in the Orleans Parish Municipal Court in July to attempt to get her monkeys back. "This isn't some wild animal that we snatched [...]"  Note: Ha! Indeed. Could this case be any more unique, and hilarious?

"The 3D Chalk Artist Is Back" [03/03/11]  Note: Amazing creations. 

"Teacher Rattles Table In Class, Student Calls 911" [03/03/11] "A California school teacher was placed on paid administrative leave after he rattled a table to get the attention of his math students, startling an eighth-grade girl who used her cell phone to call police. Atherton police Sgt. Tim Lynch tells the Palo Alto Daily News that officers went to Selby Lane School Tuesday afternoon because of reports a teacher was causing a disturbance. Officers found a calm teacher with class in session. The sergeant says the teacher's table-rattling startled a student and she used her cell phone to call 911. He says other students in the class weren't bothered by the teacher's actions. Redwood City School District deputy superintendent John Baker says the teacher was placed on leave because there was a police response. [...]"  

"Calif. Woman Survives 35-Mile Ride On Minivan Hood" [03/03/11]   "A California man remains behind bars four days after driving 35 miles on a freeway with his wife clinging to a windshield wiper blade on the hood of their minivan, police said Wednesday. Christopher Michael Carroll, 36, was being held without bail at the San Joaquin County Jail on charges of attempted murder, kidnapping and domestic assault, according to sheriff’s department records. Mr. Carroll got into the family’s minivan around 12:30 a.m. Saturday after he and his wife had an argument at their Manteca home, local police said. “She kind of goes with the van to try to stop him, gets up on the hood and is hanging onto the wiper blade,” said police spokesman Rex Osborn. “She obviously didn’t think he would keep driving.” Mr. Carroll sped through Manteca, got on a freeway and didn’t pull over until he reached Pleasanton, about 35 miles away, Mr. Osborn said. [...]"     

"Pope Exonerates Jews for Jesus' Death in Book" [03/03/11]  "Pope Benedict XVI has made a sweeping exoneration of the Jewish people for the death of Jesus Christ, tackling one of the most controversial issues in Christianity  [...]"  Note: Delusional Person Exonerates Jews for Death of Delusion in Delusional Book. These people are all dumb as a stone.

Legal Case: "Cliff-Diving Prank Gives Girlfriend Grounds to Sue" [03/03/11] "A Florida doctor is facing a negligence lawsuit for allegedly tricking his girlfriend into jumping off a cliff. [...]"  

WV: "Berkeley Co. Man Accused Of Making 'Cat Bombs'" [03/03/11]  "A Berkeley County man is accused of manufacturing what he called "cat bombs," bottled concoctions of toilet bowl cleaner and aluminum foil, to scare stray felines away from his residence. Brian Michael Bailey, 42, of 231 Gordon Drive, Hedgesville, W.Va., was arraigned Tuesday by Berkeley County Magistrate Harry L. Snow on one felony count of illegal possession of destructive devices, explosive material or incendiary devices, according to magistrate court records. Bailey was charged Monday by West Virginia State Police Cpl. L.A. Faircloth after Trooper N.K. Campbell received several complaints about Bailey allegedly making some type of explosive device at his home, according to court records. [...]"  

"Man Who Fatally Shot Wife Claims He Was Aiming At Family Dog" [03/03/11]  "Brant Bater, 61, contends the dog was acting aggressively. It was his 61-year-old wife who got the bullet, though. A San Bernardino County man says he was aiming for the family dog when he accidentally shot and killed his wife, according to police. 61-year-old Brant Bater, of Twin Peaks, was initially booked on suspicion of manslaughter, but the charges were amended to murder after investigators uncovered new evidence, the sheriff's department said (KTLA.com) [...]"  

"Naked Burglar Found In Middle School" [03/02/11] "Police in Georgia said a man arrested while allegedly burglarizing a school was naked, apparently because he couldn't fit into a vent while wearing his clothes. [...]"   

"Driver Passes Out At Wheel After Getting Tongue Pierced" [03/02/11] "He apparently passed out, then hit a traffic sign, a bush and finally a house. (Quincy Herald Whig) [...]"  

"Anti-Gay Christian Fundamentalist Busted For Park Masturbation" [03/01/11] "The Rev. Grant Storms, the Christian fundamentalist known for his bullhorn protests of the Southern Decadence festival in the French Quarter, was arrested on a charge of masturbating at a Metairie park Friday afternoon. Storms, 53, of 2304 Green Acres Road in Metairie, was taken into custody at Lafreniere Park after two women reported seeing him masturbating in the driver's seat of his van, which was parked near the carousel and playground [...]"  

"Attorney To Give Reward To Homeless Man Who Turned In $1,400" [03/01/11] "A meeting will take place this week so attorney Robert Stauffer can thank - and reward - a West Chester homeless man for turning in an envelope full of cash he found. Inside was $1,440, mostly in 100 and 50 dollar bills. [...]"   

"Man Gave $200,000 to Fake Online Girlfriend" [02/27/11] "Police in Illinois said a man "was in disbelief" when officers told him the online girlfriend to whom he had given $200,000 was not a real person. Naperville police said the 48-year-old man called investigators Wednesday to say he believed the woman, with whom he had been involved in a 2 1/2-year online relationship, had been kidnapped in London, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Friday. The man told police he had wired $200,000 to the woman during the relationship to different bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States. [...]"  Note: That should have been a clue ... dumb as a stone. 

"Teen Uses His Grandpa's 20-Ton Crane To Ask Girl To Be Prom Date" [02/27/11] "Kristen Hill thought that she was just going to have a bite to eat at Bickford's Grille with her co-worker Mike Pichetti. Little did she know though – the lunch was just a ruse. [...]"   

"Woman Arrested For Walking Around Bar Without Clothes" [02/27/11] "When the bar manager tried to get the 34-year-old woman to put on her clothes, she reportedly refused and locked herself inside the men’s room. She told a deputy: "You don't understand, I have been married since I was 13 years old and have been married for 16 years." Okay....  [...]"  More  Note: So?  

"Hypocrisy Sweeps Middle East - FKN Newz 02/26/2011" [02/26/11]  [9:59] 

"Men Charged After Leaving Cow's Head On Couple's Doorstep" [02/26/11] "The complaint against the two alleges that they engaged "in a course of conduct which served no legitimate purpose" by placing a cow's head in a box, addressing it to the victims and placing it at their doorstep. Johnstown, PA Tribune-Democrat) [...]"   

"Cops: Hummer-Driving Woman, 42, Took Teen Boys To Sites For Sex" [02/26/11] "A Livermore woman accused of having sex with two teen boys pleaded no contest Thursday to four felony charges and will be sentenced to five years in state prison. The plea was part of a deal with the Alameda County District Attorney's Office, which dropped 63 other felony sex charges against Christine Shreeve Hubbs, 42. An unrelated misdemeanor case against her also was dropped. [...]"  

Higher Self Intervention: "Man Run Over By N.Y. Subway Train Survives" [02/26/11] "New York subway riders said they witnessed a man fall onto the tracks and survive being run over by a commuter train. The witnesses said the man seemed dizzy when he lost his footing at noon Wednesday at the East Broadway station and fell to the tracks just as an F train headed for the Brooklyn borough was pulling into the facility, the New York Daily News reported Friday. The commuters said the man was pinned under the train until he was freed by emergency workers. "He looked messed up, but he was talking," witness Karim Carter, 34, said. "He was disoriented. He looked like he just got dizzy and fell on the tracks ... facing down," Carter said. [...]"   

"NZ's Accidental Millionaire Arrested" [02/25/11] "Kara Hurring and her Chinese partner Hui (Leo) Gao left for China shortly after Westpac bank accidentally put NZ$10 million ($7.5m) into Gao's account in April 2009. Gao had requested a NZ$100,000 dollar overdraft. The error was discovered within days but by then about NZ$6.78m had allegedly been transferred into other accounts and the pair had left the country. Police met and arrested 31-year-old Hurring at Auckland airport today after she voluntarily returned to New Zealand. [...]"   

"Man Busted For L&L Tells Cops He's A Member Of The Redneck Faith" [02/25/11] "Police put that down in the Religion form of the arrest report. The 20-year-old guy was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior after being caught with an underage girl. (The Smoking Gun) |  [...]"   

Absurdities: "China Bans Reincarnation Without Government Permission" [02/24/11] Tibetan monks must seek permission for rebirth Video clip    [0:52] . "In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation." But beyond the irony lies China's true motive: to cut off the influence of the Dalai Lama, Tibet's exiled spiritual and political leader, and to quell the region's Buddhist religious establishment more than 50 years after China invaded the small Himalayan country. By barring any Buddhist monk living outside China from seeking reincarnation, the law effectively gives Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama, whose soul, by tradition, is reborn as a new human to continue the work of relieving suffering. At 72, the Dalai Lama, who has lived in India since 1959, is beginning to plan his succession, saying that he refuses to be reborn in Tibet so long as it's under Chinese control. Assuming he's able to master the feat of controlling his rebirth, as Dalai Lamas supposedly have for the last 600 years, the situation is shaping up in which there could be two Dalai Lamas: one picked by the Chinese government, the other by Buddhist monks. "It will be a very hot issue," says Paul Harrison, a Buddhism scholar at Stanford. "The Dalai Lama has been the prime symbol of unity and national identity in Tibet, and so it's quite likely the battle for his incarnation will be a lot more important than the others." [...]"  More   Note: Ha! That they think they could possibly have sway over this, a sequential process, and 'control' decisions made on another level of reality, shows how absurd these people are. They're getting as bad as the Israelis, trying to co-opt the realities of people. of course, some of us left the sequential path long ago, and we're ready to leave the 3rd density experience altogether. Good luck to those who remain. 

"Texting Driver Crashes Into River" [02/24/11] "Police in Massachusetts said a man who drove his car off a bridge and into the Waters River was distracted by text messaging. Danvers police said Gerald Maher, 22, was driving alone and using his phone to text message Monday night when he struck a snow bank, swerved into the oncoming traffic lane on the White Fuel Bridge and crashed through a guard rail, landing his 1999 Nissan Altima in the Waters River, The Boston Globe reported Wednesday. Police said a diving team from Beverly has been searching the river but has not yet located Maher's vehicle. [...]"   

"No Worker's Comp for Speeding Trooper" [02/24/11] "A former state trooper who killed two teen-age sisters while talking on his cell phone and texting at 126 mph was denied worker's compensation. The arbitrator found that Matt Mitchell's injuries did not arise out of his employment with the state. [...]"   

"Thin Mint Cookie Brawl Leads To Fla. Arrest" [02/24/11] "The Collier County Sheriff's Office says that the 31-year-old woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints, reports the Naples Daily News. The paper reports that the roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children when the children were awake - and hungry - at 1 a.m., and offered to pay her $10, according to police. Howard and her roommate argued and deputies say that it turned physical - with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign. Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them. Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail. [...]"  Note:  And no cookie for her.

"Fake Cop Busted After Using Barbecue Fork To Pull Over Driver" [02/24/11] "The 69-year-old Pompano Beach man was arrested Monday for allegedly telling a motorist he was a cop and forcing the driver to pull over - with a barbecue fork.  The weird incident happened near the Walgreens on Southeast 11th Avenue. When Broward Sheriffs Office deputies arrived, they found Schultz in the middle of the street waving his cooking utensil as cars passed by. Amazingly, Schultz was able to convince one motorist that he was actually a cop and that it was in his best interest to pull over. Pointing a 10-inch mini pitch fork at a person might be persuasive, but cooking tools aren't usually a cop's weapon of choice.  "You need to pull over. I'm a police officer," Schultz told the man, who told detectives he was scared for his life, according to the arrest report. The affidavit doesn't say if Schultz issued the motorist a ticket or some other citation for being foolish enough to stop for him. Deputies ordered Schultz to surrender his "weapon" and put him in handcuffs. He was charged with aggravated battery and impersonating - horribly - a law enforcement officer. [...]"  

"Disney Exec. Asst. Going Nowhere: Home Confinement For Selling Company Secrets" [02/24/11] "What did Donald Duck know and when did he know it? Bonnie Hoxie won't be making any trips to Disneyworld - or "land" - any time soon. That because Hoxie, the former assistant to Disney's head of corporate communications, schemed with her boyfriend to sell secrets about the company's finances, and was sentenced Tuesday to four months of home confinement. Hoxie, of Los Angeles, was sentenced in federal court in Manhattan. She pleaded guilty in September to wire fraud, conspiracy to commit securities and wire fraud. Prosecutors say she fed nonpublic information such as Disney's quarterly earnings last year to her boyfriend, Yonni Sebbag. He tried to sell the inside tips by sending anonymous letters to 33 hedge funds and other investment companies. Most of the firms that received the offers, including some in Manhattan, notified the FBI. Sebbag was sentenced previously to more than two years in prison. [...]"  Note:  Anyone trying a Mickey mouse operation like this is just plain Goofy. 

"Woman Leaves Kids At Home Alone While She Works As A Stripper" [02/24/11] "When police and children's services arrived at the woman's house, a five-year-old opened the door while the mother was sleeping. After police told her why they were there, mother allegedly held up a 1-year-old child and told them, "take her. I don't wanna." (Palm Beach Post) [...]"  Note: Another one raised by wolves. 

"Man Huffing While Driving Can't Remember Crashing Into Fence" [02/22/11] "A cop followed a trail of broken car parts to the driver's home, and spotted four cans of compressed air on the guy's couch. Two were covered in frost, meaning someone likely had just used them. The driver admitted he had been huffing in the car. (Springfield State Journal-Register) [...]"  Note: There's a buffoon born every minute .... well, maybe every 20 minutes.

"Baltimore Issues Over 2,000 Red Light Camera Tickets With Dead Officer’s Signature" [02/19/11] "Getting pulled over and ticketed by law enforcement makes for a bad day, and we’re quite certain the feeling is amplified when the citation comes in the mail days after the infraction occurs. There’s no surprise, then, that most drivers can’t stand traffic cams, and in many cases, the ticketed fight the infractions tooth and nail. In the city of Baltimore, MD, there are 2,000 ticketed motorists who may have a solid case. WBAL-TV 11 reports that a police officer who tragically died in a car accident ‘signed’ those 2,000 tickets months after he passed away. That’s a big problem, because each red light camera citation is supposed to be reviewed by an officer of the law before getting sent out. City officials claim that the residents received the wrong notice, and that the tickets were in fact properly reviewed before being issued. We’re guessing that those ticketed won’t buy that explanation and the courts in Baltimore will be quite busy for the next few months. [...]"   

"Co-Workers Fail To Notice Dead Woman" [02/19/11] "A Los Angeles County employee died at her desk but co-workers failed to notice her body until the next day, officials in California said. Co-workers described Rebecca Walls, 51, as always "working, working, working," the Chicago Sun-Times reported. Walls' body was found in her cubicle last Saturday a day after her death at the Los Angeles County Department of Internal Services, where she was conducting an audit. The Los Angeles County coroner was investigating the woman's death. [...]"    

"Men Angry About Jobs Leaving US Vandalize Cars At Auto Show" [02/19/11] "The three young men were caught in a blue US-made Toyota Camry, damaging the interior with razor knives and flathead screwdrivers. A security camera caught footage of them inside the car. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  

"Mom Dines And Dashes, Leaves 12-Year-Old Daughter Behind" [02/19/11] "The girl told police that her mother ordered dinner and a bottle of wine and drank two or three glasses. Her mom then "began to act weird, spit out her bread on the table and shoved her food across the table" and told the girl to "get a box." The mother then left without paying. (Naples Daily News) [...]"   Related: "Farting Tied to Fatal Stabbing" "A 21-year-old man pleaded not guilty to stabbing a man to death and wounding three others because they made fun of his farting. Marc Higgins, 21, is being held on $2 million bond. [...]" Note: Raised by wolves, all of them.

"Man Claiming To Be God Arrested After Attacking Police Officers" [02/18/11] "Police say the 21-year-old man had smoked psilocybin mushrooms, "a hallucinogenic drug with similar effects to LSD" and the drugs gave him "unusual strength." (Denver Post) [...]"  

"Kidney Goes To Wrong Patient" [02/18/11] "A kidney was transplanted into the wrong patient at a Los Angeles hospital, an organ-donation network said Thursday. [...]"

"Man Uses Wedding Knife To Stab Wife, Self" [02/18/11] "An argument degenerated into a knifing when a husband stabbed his wife with their wedding cake knife then turned it on himself, Hartford, Conn., police allege. Police reports did not indicate what triggered the argument that left the unidentified wife with one stab wound and Louis DeJesus, 22, with eight wounds, the Hartford (Conn.) Courant reported Monday. Both were treated at a Hartford hospital. The police report also doesn't explain why DeJesus allegedly used the wedding cake knife. [...]"   

"Silvio Berlusconi Will Face Trial For Having Sex With 17-Year-Old Moroccan Belly Dancer" [02/18/11] "Silvio Berlusconi was yesterday sent for trial on charges of sex with an underage prostitute and abuse of power. An all-female panel of judges ruled that the Italian Prime Minister should be tried based on 782 pages of wire taps, intercepted text messages and bank details. If convicted, he could face 15 years in prison. Mr Berlusconi, 74, denies the charges and claims he is the victim of a political witch hunt. He has been at the centre of torrid allegations since it emerged he had paid teenage Moroccan belly dancer Karima El Mahroug. Prosecutors said he also used his influence to secure her release when she was arrested. The ruling in Milan comes days after more than a million people took to the streets in 200 towns and cities in Italy to protest at the scandal. Miss El Mahroug was just 17 when she attended Mr Berlusconi’s infamous ‘bunga bunga’ parties, the name referring to a crude after-dinner sex game. Prosecutors said she was paid in cash, clothes and jewelry. [...]"  Note: Brought down by his own tendencies .... 

"Teen Kills Sleeping Mom For Taking Away Playstation" [02/18/11] "The 16-year-old boy is accused of going into his sleeping mother's bedroom, hitting her 20 times with a claw hammer and ultimately killing her. A detective says the boy late said: "If I could, I would not do it again. I really miss my mom . . . she was the only person who cared for me." (Philly.com) [...]"  Note: Another weird story from Pennsylvania ...

"Angry Girlfriend Sets Vehicles On Fire At Car Dealership" [02/16/11] "The woman, who was nabbed with two gas containers and a baseball bat in her car, told police she was angry because she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with the mother of his son. She set his car on fire, and the blaze spread to other new vehicles. (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"   

"Ga. Inmate's Lawsuit Claims Execution Drug Has Expired" [02/16/11] "A death row inmate’s federal lawsuit claims Georgia’s stockpile of a key lethal injection drug has expired, and he’s asking a judge to halt an execution he says may cause him to die in excruciating pain. The lawsuit filed Friday on behalf of Roy Willard Blankenship raises new questions about Georgia’s supply of sodium thiopental, a sedative that has been in short supply even before the drug’s sole U.S. manufacturer decided last month to stop producing it. “No matter where Georgia obtained its supply of the drug, the drug is almost certainly expired and no longer effective,” said the lawsuit, which was filed in U.S. District Court by the Atlanta-based Southern Center for Human Rights. [...]"   

"Burglar Killed Fish Because "He Didn't Want To Leave Any Witnesses" [02/15/11] "Goldfish have a reputation for being snitches, of course. A cop says the 16-year-old suspect looked at the fish tank and said "We can’t leave any witnesses." He then killed the fish. (Suburban Chicago Daily Herald) [...]"  Note: Well, he missed seven flies and four cockroaches, and of course the bugs planted by the Chicago mob, who employed a psychic, Madame Limbo, to find out where the burglar was going to be, so that they could get there first.   

"Valentine's Day Bank Robber Wraps Stolen Rifle In Flowers" [02/15/11] "Police know who the guy is, but he's not yet in custody. (Orlando Sentinel). Deputies said 63-year-old Jack Otto enjoyed a Valentine's Day lunch at Gator's Dockside in Eustis Monday and took leftovers with him in a baggie. Otto then hid a stolen rifle under that baggie and robbed the Insight Financial across the street. Surveillance images captured Monday at the bank, off U.S. Highway 441 in Eustis, show Otto approach the teller with the bag, pull out the weapon and demand money from the employee around 2 p.m. Detectives also said he pointed the weapon at several customers and other employees. Otto fled with an undisclosed amount of cash. None of the employees or customers in the bank was injured during the robbery. Sheriff's Office spokesman Lt. John Herrell said witnesses saw Otto driving north on David Walker Road in a green or blue Honda after the heist. An "acquaintance" of Otto called the Sheriff's Office earlier in the day to report that Otto had stolen a rifle from his home, Herrell said. Florida Department of Corrections records show Otto had spent some time in prison on drug convictions. Corrections records show officials in Orange County arrested him on charges of cocaine possession in 2005. He spent just over a year in prison for that conviction. Lake County officials busted him in 2008 on possession of cocaine charges again. He was sentenced to 2 years in prison. Madison Correctional Institution officials released Otto in June 2010.[...]" 

"14-Year-Old Hit By 30,000 Mph Space Meteorite" [02/15/11] "UK: Gerrit Blank, 14, was on his way to school when he saw "ball of light" heading straight towards him from the sky. A red hot, pea-sized piece of rock then hit his hand before bouncing off and causing a foot wide crater in the ground. The teenager survived the strike, the chances of which are just 1 in a million - but with a nasty three-inch long scar on his hand. He said: "At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand. "Then a split second after that there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder." [...] The only other known example of a human being surviving a meteor strike happened in Alabama, USA, in November 1954 when a grapefruit-sized fragment crashed through the roof of a house, bounced off furniture and landed on a sleeping woman."   

Date With Destiny: "Man Falls To Death In Chicago Shaft" [02/14/11] "A 63-year-old man fell four stories down a parking garage dumbwaiter-style shaft to his death, Chicago authorities said. The Chicago Tribune reported George Davis had just dropped off his wife at a theater and parked the car when the fatal accident happened Saturday. The couple were out celebrating her birthday and Valentine's day with a night out that was to include an Anita Baker concert at the Chicago Theater, the newspaper said. Chicago Fire Department spokesman Joe Roccasalva said it appeared Davis tried to access the conveyor-type lift, which is used by workers to access the various levels of the parking facility. City police officer Armando Alvarez said the device was gated and signage designated it was for employee use only. [...]"  

"20,000 bees die in Canada" [02/14/11] "A Canadian museum launched an investigation on Friday into the sudden death of 20 000 bees on display in a glass encased hive. "All 20 000 bees died within 48 hours," Amanda Fruci, publicist for the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, told AFP. "The cause is being investigated but we know for sure that it wasn't colony collapse syndrome because that involves bees leaving a hive and never coming back, and in this case they all died in the hive." [...]"  Note: I'd say they ran out of oxygen. Encase anything living in a glass case and it will die. These people at the museum are dumber than a stone. 

UK: "Woman Who Took Food Thrown Out By Tesco Is Handcuffed And Charged With "Theft By Finding" [02/14/11] "A woman was handcuffed and 'treated like a hardened criminal' after she helped herself to food worth £200 that had been thrown away by a Tesco store following a power cut. Dozens of people could not believe their luck after the outlet of the supermarket giant bagged up thousands of pounds of spoiled stock and left it out in the street. Sasha Hall, 21, helped herself to potato waffles, pies and ham from outside the Tesco Express in Great Baddow, Essex. But she was stunned when police arrived at her home and arrested her for suspected 'theft by finding' and took her to the station in handcuffs. [...]"  Note: Absurd. They might as well just shoot the population in England and get it over with.  Related: "Don’t Put Wire On Your Windows – It Might Hurt Burglars! Villagers Outraged After Police Order Them Not To Protect Garden Sheds" 

FL: "Would-Be Bank Robber's Fake Arm Pops Off During Arrest" [02/13/11] "Monday's holdup of the Fairwinds Credit Union was fairly routine until the suspect's arm popped off, according to the Orange County Sheriff's Office. Caught walking out of the bank in west Orlando, Matthew Meguiar struggled briefly and gave Deputy Christopher Thomas one of the surprises of his career. "The suspect's arm came off during this arrest," said sheriff's spokesman Jeff Williamson. A teller told deputies that Meguiar walked into the lobby about 1:45 p.m. and handed him a note, "This is a robbery, bills in bag." The teller recognized Meguiar as a regular customer, a report states. After filling a bag with cash, teller Marc Nguyen tried to push it through a slot in the teller's cage. Upon being told it was too big to slide through the slot, Meguiar "turned around and walked out the door" without the cash, the report states.  Another teller, Irene Lopez, told deputies she recognized Meguiar from high school years earlier and that he also lived in her apartment complex a half-mile from the credit union, the report states. A surveillance camera in the lobby showed a man identified by tellers and other witnesses as Meguiar, the man they saw try to hold up the business, the report states. The suspect's mother, who was not identified, told investigators that her son had been diagnosed as severely depressed and that he suffered from psychotic episodes. When arrested, Meguiar was sweating profusely, very pale and refused to tell deputies or a physician at the Orange County Jail if he had ingested any prescription or illegal drugs, the report states. Meguiar remained held without bail Tuesday on a charge of attempted robbery. [...]"  Note: Geeze ... lucky he had no gun ... it would have been attempted armed robbery, adding another layer of irony to this mans lousy life, and, well ... good luck in prison with one arm, bubba.

Canada: "Man Gets Photo ID, Steals Car" [02/13/11] "Police in Quebec said a thief who took a Mercedes from a gym parking lot was photographed for a membership ID and caught on camera taking the car keys. [...]"  Note: They keep getting dumber and dumber.

RI: "Would-Be Bank Robber Is Told: Sorry, But We're Closed!" [02/13/11] "The guy's demand note was so poorly written that the teller had a hard time deciphering it. She saw the word robbery, though, and instinctively pulled down the security curtain, then told the man that the branch was closing. The man, who was in his 40s, about 5 feet 8 inches of medium build, with a thin mustache and wearing a black-and-yellow jacket, a Boston Red Sox cap with a cap beneath with ear flaps, and latex gloves with yellow tips, walked away quickly, Ryan said. In addition, Ryan said, the teller said "the man smelled bad." The man, who did not show a weapon or say that he had one, Ryan said, left with no money. The teller and witnesses, Ryan said, described the man as "confused and somewhat disoriented." In the movie "Take the Money and Run," Woody Allen tries to rob a bank but confuses the teller by misspelling "gun" in his holdup note.[...]"   

"Dynamite Causes Morales To Cancel Speech " [02/12/11] "Bolivian President Evo Morales abandoned plans to talk at an event in the mining city of Oruro after angry miners started tossing dynamite, officials said. The president was supposed to speak during a parade commemorating a colonial-era uprising in Oruro, but he and his supporters left following explosions in the area, the BBC reported Friday. [...]"   Note: Talk about a speech 'bombing' ... sigh ...

TX: "Woman Jailed After Hitting Boyfriend With Frozen Beefsteak" [02/12/11] "She was upset because she'd run out of freezer space. Also, she had been drinking. (Houma Today) [...]"  Note: I know one question he won't be asking any more.

"Miami: Shrimpers Wonder If BP Disaster To Blame For “Failure Of Shrimp To Show Up”  [02/11/11] "... We’re almost 10 months removed from the April 20, 2010, BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It’s just a feeling, but some of the fishermen are wondering out loud whether the gusher into the gulf is a factor in the failure of shrimp to show up miles away in Biscayne Bay. [...]"  Note: Boy, are these people a little slow, or what? BP killed life in the Gulf. What part of that can't these people understand? Dumb as a stone. Sigh.

Legal Case: "At-Home Cremation Award Vacated, for Now" [02/11/11] "A Florida man may not have to pay his siblings $1.1 million dollars for not getting their consent before dismembering and cremating the body of their dead mother. After the matriarch of the Elliott family died, William Robert Elliott dismembered her body, burned it in a barrel and scattered the ashes on the family farm. His siblings, Mary Ann Hooper and Douglas Elliott, then filed suit for negligent handling of a corpse, negligent infliction of emotional distress and diminution of property value.  The trial court ruled in the siblings' favor and awarded them $1.1 million, but the Florida's first district appellate court in Tallahassee partially overturned the ruling on Feb. 7, deciding the emotional distress claim in favor of William. "Appellees failed to establish a physical impact or sufficient physical injuries resulting from appellant's actions," Judge Bradford Thomas wrote for the court's three-judge panel. "They were not present when appellant dismembered, cremated and scattered his mother's remains." The appeals court upheld the lower court's ruling on the siblings' other claims. [...]" 

MN: "Nurse Charged In Taking Painkiller From Patient" [02/11/11] "A Minnesota nurse who was supposed to sedate a patient before surgery instead took most of the painkillers for herself and told the patient to 'man up' - giving him such a small dose of medication that he was writhing in pain on the operating table, according to criminal charges. Sarah May Casareto, 33, of Forest Lake, Minn., was charged Wednesday with one count of theft of a controlled substance, a felony. She allegedly told officers she was addicted to pain medications. According to the complaint, a man identified only by his initials went to Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis on Nov.  [...]"   

"Woman 'Can't Remember' Giving Birth In Circus Toilet" [02/10/11] " A woman accused of giving birth in a sports arena toilet and leaving her baby to die didn't know she was pregnant and can't remember the birth, her mother told a judge in court on Wednesday. "She has not shown any signs of being pregnant whatsoever," Anita McAuliffe said during a bond hearing for her daughter, Jessica Blackham. Police said Blackham, 24, gave birth to the 6-pound (2.72-kilogram) boy and left him in the toilet's cold water on Friday night. Blackham, who is also mother to a 4-year-old child, felt ill during a circus performance and went to the arena's bathroom, McAuliffe said.  [...]  

"Man Appeals Dismissal of Traumatic Hand-Job Suit" [02/09/11] "A Harlem man filed a notice of appeal saying that a federal judge improperly threw out his claims against a Las Vegas-based escort service that he says caused him to suffer a "psychotic disorder" by performing an "illegal sex act" on him. [...]"  Note: Yeah, right. This guy paid $275 for something he could have easily done himself ... lazy and stupid ... and psychotic to begin with.

"5 Is the Magic Number" [02/09/11] " .... Then there is the FIFTH group, what the government tends to think of as Lone-Wolves: These are just people that think for themselves and act accordingly. Most of these people are outspoken and determined to resist the tyranny that passes for everyday life today. It's interesting that this tiny group of individuals is being tracked and categorized so closely, as their numbers seem so small compared to any of the other four groups [...]"  Note:  Ya think? I am sure Matrix 5 readers would agree.

"Toilet Prompts Bomb Scare Outside Court" [02/09/11] "Police in Maryland said a toilet left outside a courthouse led to the temporary closing of several streets while officers ensured the object was not dangerous. [...]"  

"Man With Smiley-Face Tattoo On Chest Stabs Friend To Death" [02/09/11] "One minute they were goofing around in the snow, and the next they were arguing over money. Mr. "Smiley-face" grabbed a butcher knife and put an end to the dispute. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves.

"Bad News in the Cards for Romania's Witches" [02/09/11] "There's more bad news in the cards for Romania's beleaguered witches. A month after Romanian authorities began taxing them for their trade, the country's soothsayers and fortune tellers are cursing a new bill that threatens fines or even prison if their predictions don't come true. Witches argue they shouldn't be blamed for the failure of their tools.  [...]"   

"Mom angry after DVD for kids turns out to be X-rated surprise" [02/09/11] "Candice Connor and her two young boys sat down to watch a cartoon starring a Nickelodeon character, but saw a nude couple having sex instead. "I want apologies all around," says the mother, who bought the DVD at Toys R Us. "It's not about the money." (New York Daily News) [...]"   

Legal Case: "Couple Sues ICE & Cops for 'Knock and Talk'" [02/08/11] "A Latino couple says federal deportation officers and local police barged into their home without warrant on a Sunday morning in what Immigration and Customs Enforcement calls a "knock-and-talk." The couple claims ICE's "Fugitive Operations Teams" regularly, and unconstitutionally, invade homes "using the pretext of looking for a dangerous criminal alien, then making solely collateral, often race-based arrests of people they are not tasked with searching out and apprehending." [...]"  

Legal Case: "Molested by a Transvestite Nurse" [02/08/11] "A gunshot victim claims he was assaulted and battered by a transvestite nurse who sat on his legs, painted his mouth with lipstick, "kissed him intimately on the mouth and grabbed and squeezed his penis" for "several minutes," as he lay helpless on a hospital bed. [...]"  

"Man Climbs From Moving Recycling Truck" [02/08/11] "A Florida recycling truck driver said he was shocked when a man climbed out from the pit of the truck and knocked on the windshield while he was driving. Darrel Baker, 44, a driver for Advanced Disposal Services in St. Augustine, said he emptied the cardboard recycling bin from a gas station into the back of his truck about 3 a.m. Wednesday and the knock came on his windshield while he was driving to his next stop about a block away, The St. Augustine Record reported Monday. [...]"  

"Two Hurt When Driver Crashes Into Parked Truck While Texting" [02/08/11] " A 2-year-old girl and a 29-year-old woman suffered facial injuries Friday night in the 600 block of School Street Southeast when the woman crashed into a parked car while texting, according to the Washington State Patrol. Bowers was driving a 2002 Nissan Altima south when she left the road, drove onto the shoulder and crashed head-on into a parked 1999 Ford F-350 truck.[...]"  

Trends:  "Pranksters on the Rise" [02/06/11] "Good pranks have been a part of web video from the start, and if they're good enough, they sometimes even have global appeal. But 2011 is shaping up positively for some prank comedians. France's Rémi Gaillard is one of YouTube's most popular prank artists and is the most subscribed comedian in that country. His channel, nqtv, has seen video views rise throughout 2010 and into 2011.[...] Though he may not pull the same big numbers as Gaillard, one prankster in the United States who's a sharp increase in views January is YouTube sketch comedian  Jack Vale. Vale, whose hidden cam videos had consisted mostly of toilet-humor gags, has recently posted several pranks focusing on wordplay and confusion of random strangers ( Nonsense  [2:42]  No Nonsense 2 [2:32]  Nonsense 3  [3:45] ) many of which have been spread around pop culture web sites. "  

"Man Calls 911 About Pot Growing, Arrested For Pot Growing" [02/05/11] "A Connecticut man was arrested after he called 911 to find out how much legal trouble he could get in for growing marijuana, the Hartford Courant reported yesterday. [...]"   Related:  "Defendant Gets Life In Socal Pot Robbery" "California prosecutors said a firearms sentencing enhancement landed a Los Angeles man life in prison for a stickup at a medical-marijuana dispensary. [...]"   

"Woman Jailed For Hitting Boy With Frying Pan For Dropping Bagel" [02/05/11] "The 9-year-old boy dropped a bagel with cream cheese on her floor and a dog began licking up the cream cheese. The woman then went for a frying pan and hit the kid on the head. She's stewing in jail. DailyRecord.com) [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves ...

Date With Destiny: "Lucky Dog Rescued Last Month After Hudson River Fall Dies In Early Morning Fire" [02/05/11] "Nearly a month after being rescued from the icy waters of the Hudson River, a 4-year-old German shepard -- dubbed the city's "luckiest dog" -- died in an early morning fire at Chelsea ... [...]"  

Legal Case: "Man Loses Penis in Industrial Accident" [02/05/11] "... Toucet says he "was instructed by Future Foam to change out the foam core on the subject peeler machine. When Toucet attempted to release the mandrel, the surgically sharp steel blade was exposed and activated thereby slicing through the pelvic region of Toucet. The surgically sharp steel blade sliced through Toucet's pelvis cutting off his penis and testicles while virtually cutting his body in half. [...] Toucet seeks punitive damages for "virtual certainty," negligence, strict liability, disfigurement, loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life, medical expenses, loss of earnings, and loss of earning capacity. [...] "  Note: Ouch!

"Cops Are Told Everything's Fine, Then Find Nude Woman Under Bed" [02/05/11] "What she was there, and why she was nude wasn't disclosed in the report, according to this short-on-details story. (NewsHerald.com) [...]"   

Legal Case: "Clerks Say County Must Pay for Creepy Judge" [02/05/11] "Two court clerks claim Culberson County fired them to retaliate for their true reports that a judge had sexually harassed them, brought child pornography to work and stole county money. Former Justice of the Peace Oscar Espinoza is serving time for mail fraud. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Long Island NY Homeless Man Burns To Death Hiding From Ice Storm" [02/04/11] "Police on Long Island say a homeless man burned to death while seeking shelter from the ice storm behind a Long Island food market. The victim was found behind a kosher food market in North Lawrence by municipal workers who stopped to turn around their salting truck. Nassau Police Lt. Kevin Smith says it appeared the man tried to light some cooking-fuel cans at about 2 a.m. Wednesday. At the same time, he apparently tried to clean himself with some body wash liquid that contained alcohol. Police believe the flames from the cooking cans ignited the body wash, leaving the man to suffer fatal burns. A volunteer ambulance crew attempted to assist, but police said he had already died. The man's identity was not immediately known.  [...]"  

"Woman Charged After Trying To Air-Mail Puppy In Sealed Box" [02/03/11] "The air holes the woman punched in the box were covered up with mailing tape, and the priority mail trip would have taken at least two days. "It was supposed to be a birthday gift for a family member," says a cop. "It would have been kind of traumatizing to get a dead puppy." (Minneapolis Star Tribune) [...]"  Note:  Awwww .. cute puppy...

"Woman Sues Cab Company After Cabbie's Hell Ride" [02/02/11] "A cabbie who was hacked off that a passenger was paying with a credit card screamed "I don't care if I lose my license, I don't care if I lose my life!" before speeding off with the terrified woman trapped in the back seat, a nightmare lawsuit charges. Amy Ewertz was so scared about what might happen to her, she flung herself out of the speeding cab - getting her foot run over in the process, "causing her excruciating pain, burning the skin on her ankle and causing extensive bleeding," the suit says. "The cab sped away." Now Ewertz is taking aim at Enaf Taxi as "the owner of the intrumentality used by the driver to terrify and falsely imprison plaintiff. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "At Least 15 Riding Atop Train Coach Killed" [02/02/11] "At least 15 people riding atop the coach of a crowded train in India were killed when they were struck as the train passed under a bridge, authorities said. [...]"  Note:  More minions ... back to nature they go ...

UK: "Chapels To Keep Warm from Burning The Dead" [02/01/11] "A plan to use heat from cremations to help warm chapels is backed by many bereaved families, says Cardiff council but some call it "ghoulish" and "disrespectful". [...]"  Note: Especially when they probably weren't very warm when they were alive. How ironic.

"Red Light Cameras Saving Lives, Study Says" [02/01/11] "A new study finds that red light cameras are saving lives by helping Americans remember that red means stop.  [...]"  Note: That's the dumbest statement I have read in a while. That's what you get with sequentials in charge of anything. Dumb as a stone.

UK: "Golfer Hits Two Holes-In-One, In Half A Round" [02/01/11] "An amateur Scottish golfer has beaten odds of 67 million to one by scoring two holes-in-one in a single round of golf. The remarkable golfing double - four times more unlikely than winning the Lotto jackpot - was achieved by Adam Smith, a seven-handicap golfer, while playing in the winter league at Stonehaven Golf Club on Saturday. However, the lucky golfer was unable to complete the round of his life - he had to walk off the course after playing only nine holes as he had a prior appointment to attend.  [...]"  Related: "Woman Jailed For Punch Killing"  "A woman who killed a father-of-two in Glasgow with a single punch is jailed for six years and nine months. [...]" Note:  Another kind of hole-in-one.

UK: "Immigration Officer Fired After Putting Wife On List Of Terrorists To Stop Her Flying Home" [02/01/11] "An immigration officer tried to rid himself of his wife by adding her name to a list of terrorist suspects. He used his access to security databases to include his wife on a watch list of people banned from boarding flights into Britain because their presence in the country is 'not conducive to the public good'. As a result the woman was unable for three years to return from Pakistan after traveling to the county to visit family. [...]"   

"230 Million Head Home For Chinese New Year" [02/01/11] " Today is the busiest day of the year for China's transport networks as millions head home for the Lunar New Year. An estimated 230 million people will join the world's biggest annual human migration. For many workers, it will be the only chance they get to visit home all year. People take to the roads, boats, planes and trains to join family for the traditional New Year's Eve reunion meal tomorrow. The Year of the Rabbit begins on Thursday. [...]"  Note: Sounds like a very expensive tradition. Think of how much everyone could save if they just called and spent the holiday where they are.

Date With Destiny: "Anti-Aircraft Gunner Accidentally Kills Somali Civilians" [02/01/11] "Witnesses in the Somali capital of Mogadishu have told how they saw at least 17 civilians killed when a Somali government soldier accidentally fired his weapon into a crowd. Many other people were injured after the soldier pulled the trigger of the gun while involved in a dispute with other men. The gun wheeled toward the crowd as bullets sprayed from it. The incident occurred on a crowded street in capital, with 55 injured people rushed to the main hospital.  [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Iran Hangs Man Who Claimed To Be A Deity" [01/31/11] "An Iranian man who attracted several disciples after claiming to be "god" was hanged for apostasy in the southwest of the country, the semi-official Fars news agency reported on Monday.  Abdolreza Gharabat, who was hanged last Wednesday, had deceived some people into worshipping him. The report said his followers were mostly young people in Khuzestan province. [...] The western-based International Campaign for Human Rights in Iran published a report earlier this month which calculated that Iran had executed an average of one person every eight hours since the start of the year. Rights groups say Iran is second only to China in the number of executions it carries out, and puts more people to death than any other country per head of population. Iran routinely dismisses Western criticism of its justice system, saying it is implementing Islamic law."  Note: Yeah, the guy was delusional, however, this is why 'agents of free thought, information and personal progression'' don't come from places like this. Another society which restricts individual uniqueness and opportunity. If you recall, David Icke chose to started his 'niche' by claiming he was a deity, too, as far as the lexicon was concerned, at the time, in England, and took a lot of heat for it, but they didn't execute him. Instead, it just turned out to be a 'lesson' for David ... who has come a long way, but still doesn't know the actual context of what's happening ... it would have 'undone' his 'niche' ... which is/was needed by certain people to 'push' them out of regressive perspectives and cause them to question things on a purely cultural level. Related:  "Europe Locks Horns With Iran Over Hanging" "The European Union and the Netherlands are on a confrontation course with Iran over the hanging of a Dutch-Iranian woman for drug smuggling. [...]"  

Higher Self Intervention: "Climber Stands After 1,000 ft Fall" [01/30/11] "A climber who fell 1,000ft (305m) down a mountain and survived was found by his astonished rescuers standing up reading a map. The 35-year-old lost his footing at the summit of Sgurr Choinnich Mor near Ben Nevis in the Highlands and plummeted down the near-vertical eastern slope. Lt Tim Barker, from the helicopter rescue crew, said: "It seemed impossible... he must have literally glanced off the outcrops as he fell." He added that the climber was shaking from "extreme emotional shock". Lt Barker, the Royal Navy's Sea King helicopter crew's observer, said: "We began to hover-taxi down the slope and spotted a man at the bottom, standing up. "We honestly thought it couldn't have been him, as he was on his feet, reading a map. Above him was a series of three high craggy outcrops. It seemed impossible. So we retraced our path back up the mountain and, sure enough, there were bits of his kit in a vertical line all the way up where he had obviously lost them during the fall. "It was quite incredible. He must have literally glanced off the outcrops as he fell, almost flying."[...]"  Note:  Higher Self intervention.

UK: "Gatwick Airport Bans Toy Soldier's Three-Inch Rifle From Plane... As A "Safety Threat" [01/29/11] "The crouching, camouflaged figure is most certainly armed. But few would say he was dangerous. Security officials disagreed however when he passed through a scanner at Gatwick Airport. His three-inch, plastic toy gun was branded a ‘firearm’ and banned from a transatlantic flight. The plastic Royal Signaller was bought by tourist Julie Lloyd as a present to take home to her husband Ken, a recently retired policeman in Toronto, Canada. It is only about three inches long and there are no moving parts. There isn’t even a trigger. ‘But they wouldn’t let me take it with me. I had it in my hand luggage. I just didn’t think it would cause a problem. They said rules were rules. There was no flexibility or common sense.’ A spokesman at Gatwick said bosses would investigate the incident. [...]"  Note:  That's because these sequentials, reincarnated retreads, have no flexibility or common sense and are conceptually hobbled. 

"Mass. Bank Sues Armored Car Company After Two Tons Of US Coins Go Missing" [01/28/11] "A Massachusetts bank is suing an armored car company after two massive shipments of coins -- worth $64,500 in total -- vanished on the way to a money processor, the Boston Globe reported Thursday.BankFive, based in Fall River, Mass., often sells its extra change to Eastern Bank of Boston. But after a Brink's truck picked up the 4,317-pound (almost 2,000-kg) shipment of coins last February, the money went missing without a trace."The money never reached us," Eastern Bank spokesman Andrew Ravens told the paper.Brink's guards loaded the two trucks on Feb. 17 and Feb. 23 and signed for the shipments, according to the lawsuit, and the security company even sent BankFive a letter, acknowledging that it picked up the money. But the paper trail ends there. [...]"     

Date With Destiny: "Ten Workers Die In Construction Accident In The Philippines" [01/28/11] "An electric gondola used on the exterior of a high-rise construction in the Makati business district of the capital Manila collapsed on January 27. It fell 21 stories and landed on protruding metal rods. Ten construction workers died; one survived but is now in the hospital with numerous fractures and injuries. The tragic death of these workers was completely avoidable. The accident reveals the appalling working conditions of the construction industry in the Philippines. The investigation into the causes of the accident revealed a scandalous disregard for the safety of the workers on the part of Eton Property Group and its subcontractors. There were no safety harnesses or lifelines provided for employees. Workers were not supplied any protective equipment. A photograph of the mangled body of a worker being removed from the wreckage of the gondola showed that he was wearing tsinelas, a pair of cheap rubber flip-flops, not work boots. The lift that collapsed had no official operator; any worker was allowed to raise or lower the gondola. The job site had no permit to be operating a gondola at all. [...]"   

  Concepts and Practices: "Moment of Silence Restored in Illinois School" [01/28/11] "A suburban Chicago girl and her outspoken atheist father said they'd appeal an injunction's removal that returned a moment of silence to state public schools. U.S. District Court Judge Robert Gettleman lifted his 2-year-old injunction after the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals determined last week the Illinois Silent Reflection and Student Prayer Act requiring the moment of silence in all Illinois public schools was not unconstitutional because the law did not specify the silent time must be used for prayer. The law lets students reflect on the day's activities rather than pray if that is their choice.[...]"  Note: The girl only has to be quiet for a moment in the privacy of her own mind. She could take the opportunity to mentally tell them all to 'fuck off' once a day - that's the bright side.  

"Policeman Fired For Insulting Ukrainian Language" [01/28/11] "A Ukrainian police sergeant has been fired after he was caught on video ' insulting the Ukrainian language'. [...]"  

"Cemetery Re-consecrated After Desecration" [01/28/11] " A Florida cemetery was re-consecrated Thursday in a final step of healing after workers misplaced disinterred bodies and tossed bones into the woods. [...]"  Note:  'consecration' is a mental concept awash in a reality where nothing is really 'sacred'. It's really a zombie jamboree! No bones about it!

"Smugglers Catapult Drugs Into The US" [01/28/11] "Drug smugglers in Mexico were caught on video using a device to catapult drugs over the border into the US. [...]"  

"Man Kept Wife In Cellar For 16 Years" [01/28/11] "A Brazilian man has been arrested on suspicion of keeping his wife locked in a squalid basement for 16 years while he lived with another woman in the same house. Joao Batista Groppo and the woman who had been living with him both were arrested on charges of illegal imprisonment. The husband, also 64, told police that he had locked up his wife of 42 years because she was mentally ill and aggressive. Groppo and his companion could face up to eight years in prison. [...]"   

"Woman Jailed After Mooning Cops For Arresting Her Brother" [01/28/11] "He's a free man today, but she's still behind bars. (KnoxNews.com) [...]"    Note: Come again?  Sigh ... Someone else raised by wolves ... 

Legal Case: "Utter Incompetence Alleged at Mental Hospital" [01/27/11] "ALLENTOWN, Pa. (CN) - A father claims Allentown State Hospital hired a nurse's aide with a history of "self-mutilation, specifically cutting herself and swallowing objects," and she persuaded his daughter to swallow four 1-inch nails, telling her it "would assist in her feeling better." [...]"   

"Grand Piano Appears On Sandbank" [01/27/11] "An unlikely sight has appeared off the the coast of Miami. A grand piano, which weighs at least 300kg (650lb), now sits on a sandbank in the middle of the Biscayne Bay. Exactly how and why the piano came to be there remains a mystery. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission say as long as the instrument isn't a navigational hazard, they won't remove it. Local residents have been giving their thoughts on the new water feature.  [...]"   

"Here's One Teacher Who Should Have Known Not To Mess With Kids" [01/27/11] "Instructional coach" Courtney Bowles, whose job was to teaching teachers how to keep a professional distance from students, was arrested last Friday for having sex with a 16-year-old boy in a car. KDVR.com) [...]"   

"Man Arrested For Shooting Cannon To Celebrate Steelers Victory" [01/26/11] A Lincolnton man was arrested for shooting a homemade stainless steel cannon in his backyard on Sunday to celebrate an AFC championship win by the Pittsburgh Steelers, according to police reports. Bobby Wayne Blanton, 45, of 1183 Janice Road allegedly shot the cannon within the city limits, alarming nearby residents who called the police, the police report states. Police found another homemade cannon, two one-pound containers of black powder, a fuse and muzzle-loading propellant pellets used to ignite the cannon, the police report states. Blanton was given a citation for discharging a firearm inside the city limits, the police report states. (Gaston Gazette) [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Facebook Photo Dispute Leads To Fatal Shooting In Minnesota" [01/26/11] "James Edward Koenig posed shirtless while a 13-year-old boy snapped photos of him for Facebook. The teen's father found the pictures, and that led to the confrontation in which Koenig was killed. (St. Paul Pioneer Press) [...]"  

"Man seeks police protection from sex-crazed wife in Germany" [01/26/11] "A Turkish man living in Germany with his wife of 18 years went to police for protection from her insatiable appetite for sex, [...]"  Note: A positive for some can be a negative for others. Life can be strange.

"Taco Bell sued for 'falsely advertising' products as beef" [01/26/11] "Fast food giant Taco Bell faced a lawsuit Tuesday after a customer claimed the company falsely advertised that it uses "seasoned ground beef" or "seasoned beef" in its food products. The class action lawsuit alleged that "beef" products sold in Taco Bell's eateries were made of a "taco meat filling" consisting of "extenders and other non-meat substances" and did not meet the minimum standards set by the US Department of Agriculture. It also claimed the company misrepresented some ingredients as "seasonings" when they were added to increase a product’s volume rather than enhance its flavor. [...]  Video clip 

MSM in Conflict:  "U.S. home sales rose in December" [01/26/11] "Sales of new single-family homes rose for the second consecutive month in December, the U.S. Commerce Department said Wednesday."  vs.  "New-home sales in 2010 fall to lowest in 47 years" " ... It was the fifth consecutive year that sales have declined ... [...]"  Note:  The 'point' in the first article is cancelled by the 'point' in the second article, making the issuance of both articles at the same time, rather pointless. No one's "steering the boat", which is typical of sequential misadventure and the abject failure of mainstream journalism.

Higher Self Intervention: "Woman plunges from 23rd floor, survives" [01/25/11] "Witnesses say they saw a woman throw herself from the 23rd story of a Buenos Aires hotel Monday and survive.The woman landed in a sitting position on the roof of a taxi whose driver got out just before the impact deeply dented his roof and shattered the windshield.The woman, a 30-year-old Argentine, was rushed to the nearby Hospital Argerich, where she was being operated on for injuries including internal bleeding and broken hips and ribs, Alberto Crescenti, director of Argentina's Emergency Medical System, told the government news agency Telam. He estimated that she fell nearly 100 meters (330 feet).  [...]"   Note:  Now we 

"S.C. Woman Burned Dog Who Chewed bible" [01/25/11] "A Spartanburg County woman has been charged with felony animal cruelty, accused of hanging her nephew's pit bull with an electrical cord and burning its body after the dog chewed on her bible, authorities said Monday. When questioned by police and animal control officers, Miriam Smith told them the female dog named "Diamond" was a "devil dog" and she feared it might harm neighborhood children, according to an incident report from the county's Environmental Enforcement Department. Smith, 65, was arrested Sunday and remains in the Spartanburg County jail. Bond has not been set. Officials said she doesn't have an attorney yet and there was no phone number listed for her Pacolet Mills home. She faces 180 days to five years in prison if convicted.  [...]" Note: Raised by wolves ...

Date With Destiny: "Woman struck & killed by garbage truck" [01/25/11] "A woman walking on the Upper East Side this evening was struck with such force by a garbage truck that her body was cut in half, authorities said. The woman, whose identity is not yet known, was on 1st Avenue between 90th and 91st streets around 5:45 p.m.  [...]  

"Man Calls Newspaper From Jail, Mentions Yet Another Wife He Killed" [01/25/11] "A man convicted and incarcerated in San Quentin Prison for killing his fourth wife while on parole for killing his second said he also killed his third spouse when asked by the Enterprise-Record last week during a phone call. [...]"  

"Man starts fire trying to kill bedbugs" [01/25/11] "Firefighters in Ohio said a man attempting to kill bedbugs with rubbing alcohol while smoking a cigarette sparked a fire in his apartment. The occupant was trying to self-exterminate bed bugs and was spraying the couch with rubbing alcohol while smoking a cigarette," Fire Chief Stan Deimling said. [...]"   

"Mystery Surrounds Idaho Winner of $190M" [01/23/11] "Holly Lahti burst into the spotlight a week ago in a feel-good story about a single mother who won a $190 million Mega Millions jackpot.  Then came the mugshot: a thin young woman with disheveled brown hair, sporting a black eye and cuts and bruises on her face and neck. It turned out she was separated from a man who court records indicated had abused her, and now has a possible claim to some of the money through a quirk in Idaho law. Lahti, 29, went underground with her two daughters immediately after learning she had won half of a $380 million jackpot in the Jan. 4 drawing. She has not been seen or heard in public since, though she has posted a message to her suddenly large group of Facebook followers.  The mugshot was taken after Holly and her husband Josh both were arrested during a domestic dispute in 2003. The charges were later dropped, and the couple has long been separated. Josh Lahti said he did not know Holly had won the lottery until told by a reporter from The Associated Press last week.  "That's awesome! I won't have to pay child support!" Josh said upon learning his wife was rich. As it turns out, the husband could be entitled to a chunk of the winnings because he and Lahti never divorced and were never legally separated for that matter. Idaho's murky law on the issue requires a divorce filing to grant separation, which is a key factor in splitting up assets between spouses. .... Holly Lahti can still file for divorce, and contend the winnings are all hers because the couple do not live together and do not support each other, Brandt said. A divorce does not automatically produce a 50-50 split of assets.[...]"  

"Cops And Robbers: Police Arrested For Bank Heist" [01/23/11] "Police in Honduras say six of their own officers have been arrested for allegedly trying to rob a bank. Prosecutors say the policemen forced their way into the bank in the capital, Tegucigalpa and tied up the security guards at gunpoint. A passer-by raised the alarm and police fought a gun battle with the alleged robbers, injuring one of them.  [...]"   

Legal Case: "Ten-Foot Alligator Eats Golfer's Arm" [01/22/11] "A golfer whose right arm was ripped off and eaten by a 10-foot alligator says he never would have tried to play a shot near the water hazard if the course had warned him there were alligators about. The alligator pulled him into and under the water, and as his son and other golfers helped him stagger back to land, James Wiencek says, "the alligator swam away, having eaten plaintiff's arm." [...]"   

"Woman who killed peacock with baseball bat "just lost it" [01/21/11] "The 70-year-old woman testified at her trial that before the incident she had not had a good night's sleep for months because of constant squawking from peacocks outside her condominium.  Sandra Maloney, 70, is charged with second-degree cruelty to animals for killing a peacock outside her Makaha Valley Towers home on May 17, 2009. The charge is a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and a $2,000 fine. [...]"  

"Man charged with making bombs that he used to clear snow" [01/21/11] "Police were told that the guy had devised a way to use explosive materials to blow up snow banks instead of shoveling, and that he had been doing it for some time. Cops went to his home and found a container filled with "military-grade ammunition and other stuff, including powders of some sort." Quincy Patriot-Ledger) [...]" 

"Atrocities at Philadelphia Abortion Clinic" [01/21/11] "A doctor whose abortion clinic was a filthy, foul-smelling “house of horrors” that was overlooked by regulators for years was charged Wednesday with murder ... Hundreds of other babies likely died in the squalid clinic that Dr. Kermit Gosnell ran from 1979 to 2010, Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams said at a news conference....  Gosnell was charged with murder, infanticide, conspiracy, abortion at 24 or more weeks and other charges.[...]"  Note:  Graphic descriptions. No simultaneous incarnations could have ever been involved with this kind of thing, just reincarnating retreads (sequentials) and minions.  Sadistic carnage is not called for ...  More 

"Lawyer in Hot Water for Photoshopping Child Porn" [01/20/11] "An Ohio lawyer may be held liable for violating child pornography laws after he downloaded images of children from a stock photo website, and then edited them into pornography that he used when testifying as an expert witness at other child pornography trials, the 6th Circuit ruled Wednesday. [...]"    

"Bad Morning: #3 Reason Not to Live in Michigan" [01/20/11] [0:50] 

"Alleged pot haulers carjacked, call cops" [01/20/11] "A man and woman allegedly hauling marijuana from Utah to North Carolina called police after being carjacked, a highway patrol spokesman said. Authorities confiscated the marijuana, which has a street value of about $425,000. Three people were in custody -- the man and woman who allegedly were transporting the marijuana and one of the alleged carjackers. [...]"  

"Police: Burglars snorted ashes" [01/20/11] "Police in Florida said burglars who stole the ashes of a woman's father and her dogs from her home believed the remains to be drugs and attempted snorting them. [...]"    Related: "Man who snorted dog's ashes calls break-in "stupid mistake" 

UK: "School 'suspects pupil is adult'" [01/20/11] "A school in Hampshire excludes one of its pupils after just two days because of suspicions that he is a grown man. [...]"

"Man charged with stabbing 4 at party" [01/20/11] "A Connecticut man is charged with stabbing a friend to death and wounding three bystanders at a party after a fight over his persistent flatulence. [...]"  Note:  Raised by wolves ...

"Cafe owner trademarks "hon," says people can still use the word" [01/20/11] "Denise Whiting won't apologize for getting a trademark on "hon," but says she's sorry for comments she made to the media about the trademark limiting Baltimoreans’ right to use the term of endearment. In other words, you can say "hon" and not fear getting sued. (Maryland Daily Record) [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Depressed builder's nailgun death" [01/20/11] "A builder killed himself with a nailgun while depressed over financial difficulties, an inquest hears. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Woman, 66, found frozen steps from Toronto home" [01/19/11] "A 66-year-old Toronto woman suffering from dementia was found frozen to death on a Toronto sidewalk Monday, after she left her home in the middle of the night. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Woman on couch among 2 killed in plane crash" [01/19/11] "A small plane has crashed into a recreational vehicle park at a South Carolina beach town, killing the pilot and a woman seated on a couch inside an RV [...]"   

"Mom says toy dog swears during song" [01/19/11] "..."The toy is American so the voice has a US accent. They say it's actually saying 'bark'. But to anyone in the UK it sounds like the F word. [...]"  Note: Atta boy! "fuck! fuck!, bacon bacon ... gimme bacon, gotta have bacon! fuck! fuck!"  Hahahaha! 

"Bomb" at hospital is battery charger wrapped in duct tape" [01/19/11] "A suspicious package discovered at Harrisburg Hospital yesterday morning turned out to be a battery charger wrapped in duct tape, and the man police believe called in the bomb threat was charged today.  [...]"  Note:  What's with this guy's asymmetric head and the wandering eye?

  Higher Self Intervention: "Baby survives after being shot in the chest in parents' 'global warming suicide pact'" [01/19/11] "A seven-month-old baby girl survived three days alone with a bullet in her chest beside the bodies of her parents and toddler brother. Argentines Francisco Lotero, 56, and Miriam Coletti, 23, shot their children before killing themselves after making an apparent suicide pact over fears about global warming. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Boy used birthday rifle to kill kin" [01/19/11] "A 14-year-old South Carolina boy used the rifle his father bought him as a birthday present to shoot the man to death, along with a great-aunt, and critically wound his grandmother, police said Tuesday.  [...]"  

"Woman accused of slapping a horse" [01/18/11] "After spending nearly 12 hours behind bars, accused of slapping a police horse, a Florida woman is out of jail Monday facing misdemeanor charges in the incident. [...]"  

"Unknown woman joins bachelor in bed" [01/18/11] "A Canadian bachelor on Vancouver Island didn't appreciate a naked woman he'd never met waking him up and sliding into his bed, police said. [...]"  Note:  Stranger things have happened, believe me ...

"Man sues neighbors after dog tears off Volvo's rear bumper" [01/18/11] "The animal allegedly did $2,000 damage to the car. The man filing the lawsuit says the dog has menaced at least six other neighbors and killed one neighbor's dog. Santa Fe New Mexican [...]"  

"Man dressed as clown threatens to burn down liquor store" [01/18/11] "Ted Stewart -- dressed as a "rodeo clown transvestite" -- was upset because the clerk refused to sell him booze because he believed he was too drunk. (Statesman.com) [...]" 

"Retired colonel accused of coup plot" [01/18/11] " A court in Russia has approved the arrest of a retired colonel on suspicion of preparing an armed coup with crossbows. [...]"  

"FDA System Approves Nonexistent Product from Nonexistent Company for Human Testing" [01/16/11] "The FDA describes themselves as being in place to protect the American public. Most people these days know better, especially when reports like the following display to citizens the sort of malicious folly carried out on the daily by the agency. In stings set up by Congress with the General Accountability Office (GAO), the FDA displayed its lack of attention to obvious dangers and fraud by approving medical testing for a ridiculous device and approving a company with laughingly phony names as one of its Institutional Review Boards (IRBs) which are the for-profit companies that really do the testing of products.  [...]"  

"Man with wig, makeup tries to force dad to give him $300,000" [01/16/11] "Police didn't explain the wig and makeup's role in this failed escapade. [...]" 

"Rome scrambles to ready for 2 million pilgrims" [01/16/11] "Crowd control experts were rushing to ready Rome for an estimated 2 million pilgrims for Pope John Paul II's beatification on May 1, when the city will be thronged with Easter week tourists. [...]"  Note: Totally delusional activities .... dumber than a box of rocks. 

"Wounded Fox Shoots Hunter" [01/15/11] "A wily fox turned the tables on a pursuing hunter and shot the man as the two battled in the woods. The Belarusian hunter was about to finish off the fox, wounded by one shot, with the butt of his rifle. But as he raised his gun, the animal leaped at him. Its paw somehow discharged the rifle and a bullet hit the hunter in the leg. "The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw," said an official. The fox escaped. The hunter is recovering in a local hospital, reports the Telegraph. [...]"  

"Man has odd explanation for running over 41 mailboxes" [01/14/11] "He says he hit the first few by accident, but then continued to knock down mailboxes out of frustration. Send this guy to anger management class -- taught by Seinfeld mailman "Newman"! (Suburban Chicago Daily Herald) [...]"   

"Police foil what they believe to be a goatnapping" [01/14/11] "The driver was stopped for suspected drunken driving, but police then discovered a second passenger -- a female goat sitting in the front seat. "We suspect the goat might have been stolen," says an animal services spokesman. [...]"   

"Cops follow prints in snow, nab suspects" [01/14/11] "Police in Evanston, Ill., said they followed footprints in the snow to catch up with and arrest two young men and a teenage boy for burglary. [...]"  

UK: "Police cars damaged by wrong fuel" [01/13/11] " A British county's police force said about $100,000 has been spent repairing 332 patrol cars filled with the wrong fuel during the past seven years. [...]"  Note: I would have thought that the determination about wrong fuel should have been made on the first car, and that 331 cars could have been spared the ordeal and the expense... but some people aren't too astute.

"Man: I didn't know that the woman I was boinking was dead" [01/13/11] "The 55-year-old man said he met the 48-year-old victim on a telephone dateline and had known her for three and a half months. On the night of her death, the two were having sex up until he noticed she wasn't breathing. There had been some drinking and pot-smoking that evening, he admitted. (Washington Times-Herald) [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: "Italian man shot in head sneezes out bullet" [01/12/11] "Man shot in the head amazed doctors by sneezing out the bullet and is expected to make a full recovery with no lasting harm. Darco Sangermano, 28, was accidentally shot during a New Year' [...]"  

"Woman turns hubby in for bank robbery after seeing him on TV" [01/07/11] "She says it broke her heart to see her husband a wanted man, but she still confronted him. "I said, 'Honey, you're on the news for robbing a bank,'" He denied it, but she then pointed at the TV. He threatened to kill himself and fled. (Bradenton Herald) [...]"   

"Firefighter quits after setting co-worker on fire at Christmas party" [01/07/11] "The story says: "It's unclear if either of the firefighters was drinking at the party, but alcohol was available." My guess? Well, you know... (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"  

"Cell phone talker falls to death" [01/07/11] "A 35-year-old man fell to his death from his seventh-floor apartment in India as he talked on his cellphone, police said. [...]"   

"Spilled coffee blamed for emergency landing" [01/06/11] Video clip [0:34]"The pilot of a United 777 flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany was forced to make an emergency landing in Canada Monday night after he dropped his coffee on the plane's radio and triggered a hijacking signal. NBC's Brian Williams reports. ( [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man found dead inside walk-in Taco Bell cooler" [01/06/11] "He had locked himself inside. The 42-year-old man "walked straight in past employees and went in the cooler," says a cop. "When we got there, he was dead." (Spokesman-Review) [...]"   

"Oil Tycoon's Son Sued by Ex for the Holidays" [01/06/11] "The oil tycoon's son Gordon Peter Getty II was sued during the holidays by his ex-wife Jacqueline who says he failed to "preserve the lifestyle [she] had become accustomed to and had been promised ... Published reports say she is asking for about $800,000 per month to maintain the opulent Getty style, an amount that includes both "lifestyle payments" and spousal support. To prove her devotion, the suit states that, "Plaintiff left her career as a successful costume designer to devote to him, his family responsibilities and the 'Getty lifestyle.'"  [...]"  Note:    useless, helpless, lazy sequential gold-digger ...

"Homeless man with 'gift of voice' suddenly sought after" [01/06/11] Video clip [2:10]"A homeless man in Cleveland has had a dramatic reversal of fortune after a reporter's discovery of his voice talent landed him several high-profile gigs. NBC's Kevin Tibbles reports. [...]"    Related: "Homeless man with 'golden radio voice' gets his chance" [01/05/11] "The homeless man with the "golden radio voice" wanted a second chance -- and did he ever get it. As soon as Ted Williams, a panhandler who became an online hit after video of him begging on an Ohio roadside was posted to the Internet, appeared on a local radio show this morning the offers began pouring in -- including a dream job with the Cleveland Cavaliers and a free house ... The Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, native trained to be a radio announcer before drugs and alcohol ruined his chances at a career, and he was reduced to begging on the side of a road in Columbus, Ohio, before the newspaper found him [...]"   Video clips included.

"One of Pakistan's top politicians shot dead by own bodyguard" [01/05/11] Video clip [2:20] "Salman Taseer, the governor of Punjab province, was shot dead by one of his own police bodyguards in Islamabad. He had recently campaigned for the release of a woman facing the death penalty under the country's strict blasphemy laws.  [...]"  

Higher Self Intervention: "Suicide jumper in NYC saved by a pile of trash bags" [01/04/11] "The guy had been released from a psych ward last Wednesday after spending about a month there following a nervous breakdown; he jumped from a ninth-floor apartment window and survived the fall because he landed atop a mountain of trash bags that had been piling up since the Dec. 26 blizzard in New York.  [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Philippines killing: 'Killer' caught in victim's photo" [01/04/11] "A photograph taken by a Philippine politician moments before he was shot dead has led to the arrest of his suspected killer.  Reynaldo Dagsa, a Manila district councillor, took a photo of his family outside their house on New Year's Day.  Unknowingly, a man raising his gun to fire was included in the background of the snap. The family gave the photo to police who have now detained a man on suspicion of murder.  The killer is shown in the photograph wearing a back-to-front baseball cap just behind Mr Dagsa's daughter, wife and mother-in-law, who were unaware of his presence. "While he was taking the picture of his family on New Year's Day, the killer appeared and he inadvertently took the picture of the killer with the gun aimed at him," local police chief Jude Santos told the AFP news agency. [...]"    

"Man faces battery charge after a stressful PlayPlace visit" [01/03/11] "According to police, the man was with his two children at the restaurant at 15920 S. Harlem Ave. at about 4:30 p.m. Dec. 26 when a large group entered the PlayPlace for a birthday party. The man said he became upset because the party took all the available chairs, including extras that were added after they arrived. A 72-year-old woman with the birthday party said the agitated man came over to her table and started removing children’s coats from a chair and putting them on the floor. When she confronted him and started picking up the coats herself, she said the man pushed her on the shoulder and called her an idiot. [...]"   

"Alabama Sex Toy Drive-Thru Business on the Rise" [01/01/11] "Gabrielle Silva takes down a customer's order from the drive-thru window, stuffs a bag full of products and passes it outside to the couple waiting in a car.  "Thanks, and I put some free condoms in there, too!" Silva chirps.  In this technology-savvy north Alabama city, visitors won't just find burgers and prescriptions at the drive-thru window.  A "romance" store called Pleasures offers a rare convenience: a drive-through with adult novelties for sale. Business is brisk so far, with cars sometimes lining up three deep for vibrators, lubricants, lingerie and other risque items.  "It's been doing well, and really well on nights when it's cold or rainy," said employee Toni Kennedy. "Discretion and the ease of it are big, and convenience. We're Americans. We like everything convenient."  [...] 

"Jailed sisters to be freed if one donates a kidney" [01/01/11] "For the past 16 years, Jamie and Gladys Scott have been locked away in prison in America's Deep South, serving double life sentences for a robbery in which no one was injured and their entire haul amounted to the grand total of just $11. Now they are to walk free. But there's a catch. The sisters have been granted clemency by Haley Barbour , the Governor of Mississippi, on the condition that they begin life outside by going straight to hospital. There they must undergo an emergency operation which means that, in addition to sharing freedom, they will spend the rest of their natural lives sharing a pair of kidneys. Gladys, 36, is fit, healthy, and therefore likely to be able to survive on just one of her two kidneys after the transplant surgery. She is also a perfect genetic "match" for Jamie, 38, whose daily dialysis is currently being administered behind bars, at an annual cost to the state of $200,000. The order signed by Governor Barbour yesterday suspends their draconian prison sentences indefinitely on condition that the transplant operation is "scheduled with urgency". It says the women could be returned to prison if the surgery fails to take place as planned.  [...]"  More 

Date With Destiny: "Newborn thrown from hospital window" [01/01/11] "A newborn baby girl has died after being thrown out of a second-storey window at a maternity hospital in Jamaica, police say. Constable Yanique Matthews said the infant was found dead on Thursday morning outside Victoria Jubilee Hospital, Jamaica's largest maternity hospital, in the island nation's capital, Kingston. A woman suspected of throwing the baby out of the woman was still at large, Matthews said. [...]"  Note: Raised by wolves.

"Woman arrested in boy's death" [01/01/11] "Shaken police officers in Houston, Texas, provided details Thursday in the death of a 12-year-old Texas boy whose burned body was found in a drainage ditch. Jonathan Foster was last seen December 24. The medical examiner has not released the cause of death. Mona Yvette Nelson, 44, a maintenance worker and an acquaintance of the boy's family, was arrested Wednesday and the Harris County District Attorney's Office has accepted capital murder charges, said spokesman Kese Smith of the Houston Police Department. Police credit a security video taken by a business in helping to crack the case, homicide Capt. David Gott told reporters.  [...]"  Video clip included.  

Australia: "Woman escapes Russian roulette ordeal" [12/31/10] "A Sydney man subjected his de facto partner to a terrifying Russian roulette-style ordeal after an argument at their western suburbs home, police say. The 43-year-old man pulled out a revolver in the garage of the couple's home, loaded a single bullet then three times spun the chamber and fired the gun while aiming at his wife, police say. The bullet did not fire. The woman fled, locked herself in the house and called police. The man has been charged with attempted murder and multiple firearms offences. [...]"   

"Fla. city installs $11K vulture deterrent" [12/31/10] "Officials in DeLand, Fla., said they spent $11,000 of municipal funds on an electric shock system to keep vultures off the roof of City Hall. [...]"  Note:  Too bad they couldn't keep vultures out of City Hall.

"Snowstorm causes family to take $900 cab" [12/30/10] "A New York family's dream vacation to Disney World ended on a sour note, after a 13-hour, $900 cab ride home. Snowstorms in New York forced the family to rebook their flights from Florida to Buffalo, but after learning buses were not in service to take them home, the family took a taxi. "We arrived at Delta around 12:30 but they told us they cancelled all the flights and the next available flight for us would be on Wednesday," Emilian Emeagwali told ABC News. "So I decided to book a flight with JetBlue to take us to Buffalo, and from there we took a cab." Taxi driver Eddy Emran said he would get them home if "they were willing to pay," the New York Times reported. From Buffalo, the cab driver travelled 13 hours to bring Emaegwali and her five children back to Elmont, N.Y. The cab fare would normally be $1,100 from Buffalo to New York, but the driver offered a reduced price. Blizzard conditions en route made for white-knuckle driving, Emeagwali said.  But the family, who left Disney World at 9 a.m. Sunday, arrived home safely on Monday at 10 a.m. [...]"    

'Whacked out' couple crashes midnight Mass [12/30/10] "A couple of unholy, intoxicated church goers - high on booze and drugs - crashed a midnight Mass in Drexel Hill on Christmas when they stumbled down the aisle, fondled each other in a pew and flushed drugs down the church toilet, police said.  Authorities believe Alexander Pirone, 21, and Catherine McGrath, 24, planned to hide out in the restroom until after the building was locked up for the night so they could burglarize the church, but a cop and an EMT who were also at the Mass thwarted their plan, said police Superintendent Michael Chitwood. Pirone and McGrath burst into St. Charles Borromeo Roman Catholic Church on Burmont Road and stumbled down the aisle shortly after midnight Mass began on Dec. 25, police said. Officer Samuel Sproull, who was on duty at the time and attending the Mass, saw them come in and saw that they were "whacked out," Chitwood said. "At one point in time, they were fondling one another in the pew to the point where a couple of the church goers had to tell them to stop acting like morons," Chitwood said. "They had to tell them that they were there to worship and pray and stop making a spectacle of themselves." When the Mass was over,  [...] "They were looking for a problem," Chitwood said. "Well, both are still in jail so Merry Christmas to them."  Note: More people raised by wolves. 

Legal Case: "School to Pay $50K After Whiskey-Fueled Blunder" [12/30/10] "A student was wrongfully expelled from school after a classmate put a bottle of whiskey in his backpack, a Louisiana appeals court found. The school board must pay the student $50,000 in damages because administrators had deliberately misconstrued or concealed evidence to punish him. [...]"  

"Man says he'll release sex tape with wife unless she cuts good divorce settlement" [12/30/10] "A Manhattan man is threatening to turn his estranged wife into the next Paris Hilton, court filings say.  [...]"  Note: Well, that's an admission of extortion, isn't it? Good start.

"Nude woman arrested for sexually harassing people in store" [12/30/10] "Police say Jennifer Riegler (left) removed all of her clothing and strolled naked around a convenience store. She then made sexually suggestive comments to both customers and employees and engaged in sexually suggestive behavior prior to lying on the floor in front of the donut rack. (WBOC.com) [...]"  

"Man Reenacts "Frogger," Gets Hit by Car" [12/30/10] "Frogger, a popular 80s video game, has survived for another generation on devices like the iPad. A South Carolina man, imitating the game in real-life, was hit by a car. [...]"  

Higher Self Intervention: "Man survives suicidal 30-foot jump into frigid waters" [12/30/10] "He left a farewell note for his girlfriend, apparently drank a bit and then jumped. The fall into cold water didn't kill him, though. (Naples Daily News) [...]" 

"Cops called after McDonald's customer demands "fresh" fries" [12/30/10] "The restaurant manager told the guy that the French fries were fresh, but that didn't calm him down. Police had to intervene. (Sandusky Register) [...] Due to conflicting stories, no charges were filed.  Quillen left with his money and no fries, said Perkins police Sgt. Vince Donald"  

Commentary: "Black Friday Madness and the Animalistic Behavior of Modern People" [12/30/10] [10:32]  "What will happen when food disruptions occur, the currency collapses or social chaos breaks out in U.S. cities? This video answers that question by revealing how everyday people can transform into crazed animals who trample other human beings in order to get what they want. A shocking video that reveals a part of human nature that society tries to keep caged. [...]"  "  Note:  Minions, raised by wolves. I think that the commentary stresses too much about vaccines and fluorides as playing a big part in this Black Friday phenomenon. Of course, he doesn't know that all 'people' aren't the same.

Date With Destiny: "Falling Oak tree kills during bedtime story" [12/30/10] "The woman was reading a bedtime story to her 7-year-old granddaughter Tuesday night when an oak fell on their safari-like luxury tent in Santa Rosa and killed the grandmother instantly, authorities said. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Homeless burn to death in fire set to try to keep warm" [12/29/10] "Eight people who died in a fire in an abandoned building in New Orleans, Louisiana, overnight are believed to have been in their late teens or early 20s, the city fire department said Tuesday. The victims, who were in a small warehouse in the Upper Ninth Ward, are believed to have been homeless and were burning a fire to stay warm, officials said. Those inside apparently were burning trash in a barrel, Holmes said. An investigator indicated the bottom of the barrel may have burned through, Holmes said. Authorities also found the remains of two dogs. [...]"   Video clip included. 

Date With Destiny: "U.S. Navy Officer Leaps to Death in Philippines"  [12/28/10] "Passengers wait in a security line in Manila International Airport, where an American Navy officer was nabbed Tuesday with what authorities thought were drugs. Before they discovered they weren't acutally drugs, the Navy man lept to his death off a staircase.  [...]" 

Spanish woman fakes kidnapping to test husband: police [12/28/10] " Spanish police have detained a woman who faked her own kidnapping to test whether her husband would pay ransom, sending him a photograph of herself with bound hands and feet, police said Monday.  The man received the photo on his mobile phone from someone claiming to be one of the kidnappers along with a text message demanding a ransom of 20,000 euros (26,000 dollars) for her release, they said in a statement. The ransom request was repeated in later text messages as well as warnings that the man not go to police, which he ignored. Police launched a search and spotted her car, which they followed to a shopping mall in the town of Gandia on the Mediterranean coast. "The woman, who was traveling alone and was in perfect health, was the supposed victim of the kidnapping," the police statement said. [...]"  

"Camden man crashes car, abandons three" [12/28/10] "A Camden man crashed his car into a house on Cooper Street in Deptford around midnight Sunday and abandoned his fiancée and their two children there, Deptford Township police said Monday.  [...]"   Note: Raised by wolves. 

Date With Destiny: "Man Beat Aunt To Death On Christmas Because He Was Tired Of Being 'Nagged'" [12/28/10] "A Wilmette man beat his aunt to death with a baseball bat Saturday because he was tired of being "nagged" by his relative, police said Monday. About 4 p.m. Saturday, officers responded to a possible homicide at 3115 Hill Lane in the northern suburb, according to a release from the Wilmette police department. There, police found 49-year-old Nancee Rapoport unconscious with severe head trauma. She was taken to a nearby hospital where she died from her injuries.  [...]"  Note:  Raised by wolves.

"Boy hurt when mom's drunk boyfriend sets Christmas tree ablaze" [12/27/10] "The guy allegedly set the tree on fire after arguing with the 1-year-old boy's mother. He fled and firefighters had to rescue the kid. (Chicago Tribune) [...]"  Note: Raised by wolves. 

"Man who attacked fiancé days before wedding gets prison time" [12/23/10] "In 2009, he tackled his fiance -- he was wearing a mask at the time -- tried suffocating her with a blanket and then hit her over the head with a baseball bat. They got married four days later and -- surprise! -- are now going through divorce proceedings. (Connecticut Post) [...]"  Note: Raised by wolves.

Legal Case: "Family Distressed by Mom's Brain in a Bag" [12/23/10] "A family claims Serenicare funeral home handed them their mother's brain in a bag during her funeral service. Only later did they find out that the bag containing her personal effects also contained her brain, in "a bag labeled with her name, and the word 'brain' on it," according to the complaint. [...]"    

"Woman sees virgin mary in candle wax" [12/23/10] " [...]"  Note: What's next? "Vagrant sees jesus in own turd"?  These people are SO, SO stupid, and haven't a clue as to how perception and pattern-forming aspects in neurological dynamics seek to interpret what is seen, and present the 'closest fit' to what exists in their own experience. It never dawns on them that they themselves are projecting a pattern in their OWN experience. Besides, where in their literature did it ever say that jesus carried a piece of corn on his head, anyway? Minionesque individuals ...  Related:  "Mary Quite Contrary" Note: An amusing cartoon.

"Mass. Woman Sentenced for Glass-Eating Scheme" [12/23/10] "A Massachusetts couple wasn't trying to break any world records when they intentionally ate glass particles. Instead, the couple's purpose was to swindle insurance companies out of more than $200,000.Mary Evano was sentenced to more than four years in prison Tuesday for purposefully eating shards of glass and then submitting false insurance claims. She was also ordered to pay more than $340,000 in restitution. Federal prosecutors alleged that between 1997 and 2005, Evano and her husband, Ronald Evano, collected the more than $200,000 in compensation after filing insurance claims that they were injured by hotels, restaurants, and grocery stores that served them food containing pieces of glass.  [...]"   

"(Sequential) Boy, 9, Becomes 'Youngest-Ever' U.S. Chess Master" [12/23/10] "A 9-year-old California boy has become the youngest-ever chess "master" in the United States. Samuel Sevian, of Santa Clara, earned the title after a match in San Francisco.  [...]"   

"Man sues Santa Claus parade over injury" [12/23/10] "A Toronto man is suing the city's Santa Claus Parade after he was allegedly partially blinded by a clown throwing candy, officials said. [...]"  

"Man Gets 30 Years for Snake-Related Child Porn" [12/23/10] "A federal judge sentenced a Mississippi man to 30 years in prison for forcing an underage girl to pose with poisonous snake, like this rattlesnake, for the purposes of pornography. [...]"   

"Suspicious frozen chicken shuts airport" [12/23/10] " A regional airport in Louisiana was evacuated for an hour when screeners spotted a suspicious package holding a frozen chicken and a headlamp. Stansbury said the problem was the X-ray machine melded the images of the chicken and the miner's headlamp together, providing something screeners could not identify. To make matters worse, there were wires attached to the headlamp. [...]"  

"Man arrested for masturbating in hospital's "serenity room"  [12/23/10] "It's an area where parents can take a break while their kids are getting treatment. The guy needs someone to define "break" for him. (San Jose Mercury News) [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Sleeping man shoots self on Ohio Turnpike" [12/22/10] " Napping on the Ohio Turnpike with a gun in his hand turned out to be a bad idea for one motorist, highway patrol officers said. Napping on the Ohio Turnpike with a gun in his hand turned out to be a bad idea for one motorist, highway patrol officers said. Mahmoud Ajaj, 30, of Dearborn, Mich., shot himself in the in the leg as he snoozed with a handgun he had in his hands for protection.  [...]"  

"Australian court jails fake PoW" [12/21/10] "An 84-year-old Australian pensioner is jailed for pretending to have been a prisoner of war, and for falsely claiming a war service pension. [...]"  Note:  "Fake Prisoner Becomes Real Prisoner" would have been a better title.  

"Fox Issues Nixonian Non-Denial Denial When Confronted with Evidence It Deliberately Deceives Viewers" [12/21/10] "In case you missed it in the pre-holiday bustle last week, the University of Maryland has released results of a study that found the Republican Party’s Fox propaganda channel deliberately deceives its viewers by presenting disinformation as “news.”  Even if you heard about the survey, what you may have missed is that, given an opportunity to debunk the findings, to provide a point by point refutation of the results, Fox’s point person chose instead to attack the University of Maryland as a “party school.” First, here are the findings from the survey showing for each assertion both the anti-factual information Fox viewers believe to be true (with the share of Fox viewers versus non-viewers shown in parentheses) along with the reality-based fact: [...]"   Video clip included.

Date With Destiny: "Citigroup banker, 27, leaps to her death from 40-storey Trump apartment building" [12/21/10] "An attractive banker and charity worker described as having 'everything anyone could want' jumped to her death from the roof of the 40-storey Trump Place building in New York. Jessica Fashano, 27, was found face down in a third-floor courtyard in Manhattan just after 8am on Saturday morning in a suicide that has left her friends and colleagues as baffled as they are distraught. Her shocking plunge from an enormous height led one witness to say the sound of the impact was 'so loud I thought part of the building was falling.'  [...]"    Note: All this was in her chart, and path, from the very beginning. Nothing could have 'prevented' this.

"Cops mistake man's window-ledge cigarette break as a suicide attempt, lawsuit says" [12/20/10] "What were they smoking? A pair of blundering cops mistook a downtown man's cigarette break for a suicide attempt, a lawsuit claims. A lawyer enjoying a puff on the sill of his second-floor apartment window says he was wrestled to the floor by cops who hauled him off to the loony bin. Mark Moody said he was taking his usual nicotine break on the window ledge of his Peck Slip home on a hot August day with a cigarette in one hand and a cellphone in the other, a scant 12 feet off the ground. [...]"   

"Drunk Kills Shark, Saves Egyptian Beach Resort" [12/18/10] "Milovan Ubirapa, one of Stevic’s friend who witnessed the incident explained that Dragan had decided to go to the beach for a swim after a long night of drinking. As Dragan and his friends approached the beach, he saw a fairly high positioned jumping board utilized earlier in the day by divers. “Dragan climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer and simply ran to jump. There was no time for me to react or to try to stop him, he just went for it” says Milovan. “Dragan jumped high and plunged down to the sea, but didn’t make as much splash as we thought he would”, explained Milovan. The reason could be because Dragan Stevic ended up jumping straight on the shark which was lurking near the beach, probably looking for its next victim. Dragan had nailed it right in the head, killing it instantly. The Egyptian police found the shark washed out on the beach that morning. Dragan was able to swim to the shore and told his friends he had twisted his ankle, telling them the water was not that soft. The water is soft buddy, you just landed on a shark. At the moment, the fearless hero is in a hospital recovering from alcohol poisoning. After Dragan gets well, he will get a chance to have some more drinks as the resort had awarded the Serb tourist with a free vacation for his heroic deed. [...] 

UK: "Alleged "Bad Santa" Prank a Twitter Sensation" [12/18/10] "... a Santa, fired for being drunk, broke into the maintenance control room of the landmark London department store and "took revenge last night in spectacular style." The blog reported that a Lloyd Hudson, 35, from Ilford, Essex was able to manipulate the switches for 10,000 external light displays to spell out the holiday "greeting."  [...] Honestly, I am disgusted," they quoted Irene Rider, 59, from Gary, Indiana. "I was with my grandchildren. We had just gotten off the bus. I said 'look everybody' and pointed up to the lights - but you know what the lights said? They said 'fuck off'. And that is not an appropriate message for a child. At least not at Christmas time."   Note: Picture included.

"Piracy Critic Admits to Huge Pirated Music Collection" [12/18/10] "Award-winning Norwegian author Anne B. Ragde found her stance against the evils of eBook piracy undermined just a wee little bit when her son revealed that she has more 1800 illegally downloaded songs stored on her iPod. [...]"  

"Sheriff's database of confidential informants and victims released" [12/17/10] "A Colorado sheriff's online database mistakenly revealed the identities of confidential drug informants and listed phone numbers, addresses and Social Security numbers of suspects, victims and others interviewed during criminal investigations, authorities said. The breach potentially affects some 200,000 people, and Mesa County sheriff's deputies have been sifting through the database to determine who, if anyone, is in jeopardy. The FBI and Google (News - Alert) Inc. are trying to determine who accessed the database, the sheriff said. Their concern: That someone may have copied it and could post it, WikiLeaks–style, on the Internet. Thousands of pages of confidential information were vulnerable from April until Nov. 24, when someone notified authorities after finding their name on the Internet. Officials said the database was accessed from within the United States, as well as outside the country, before it was removed from the server.[...]"  

"Dentist, 68, traded drugs for sexual favors from female patients" [12/17/10] ""Bringing out the drill" had a different meaning in his office. (Boston Globe) [...]" 

"Poll: 'Whatever' most annoying word" [12/17/10] "The Marist Poll of 1,020 U.S. adults, conducted via telephone Nov. 15-18 by pollsters at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., found 39 percent of respondents despise the word "whatever," while 29 percent cited "like" as the most annoying word or phrase in contemporary conversation and 15 percent said they were most incensed when people say, "you know what I mean." The survey found "to tell you the truth" is the most irritating phrase to 10 percent of those polled while 5 percent said the word "actually" is their least favorite thing to hear in a conversation. The poll had a 3 percent margin of error [...]" 

"Japanese Diagnosis: Fear of One's Own Glance" [12/17/10] "Japanese scientists describe a phobia in which people fear their own glance.  [...]"   

"Adult brothers fight over half-eaten piece of fried chicken" [12/16/10] "A 37-year-old man was angry and attacked with a crowbar because he believed his older brother had taken a bite of chicken and put it back in the frying pan. (Ohio.com) [...]"  Note:  More people raised by wolves.

Date With Destiny: "Night terrors led to killing" [12/16/10] "A coroner says the death of a woman, killed by her husband during a violent nightmare, is a "unique" case. Brian Thomas, 60, admitted killing Christine, 57, in their camper van, but blamed his rare sleep disorder, and was cleared during a trial in 2009. [...]"   

"Man abandoned son, 6, at bus stop" [12/16/10] "A Kansas City, Mo., man has been arrested for abandoning his 6-year-old son at a bus stop in the cold. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Man killed by fridge tossed out of window by co-workers" [12/15/10] "The renovation crew who threw the refrigerator said they yelled down to the ground but didn't hear a response, so they thought the area was clear. The victim walked into the path of the falling appliance. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]" 

"Man Shot Dead By Police While Watering Neighbor's Lawn" [12/15/10] [2:00] "Here is a perfect example of the citizen spy culture taking root in the USA with the "If you see something, say something program" encouraged by Homeland Security. A 911 call apparently was made after a neighbor mistakenly interpreted a man sitting on a porch as a "drunk with a gun." Officers arrived, ready for battle, and the man was killed . . . while watering his neighbor's lawn.   [...]"    Note:  ALWAYS, it seems meddling neighbors can't stop getting people killed by calling the police.

"Snowman-killing bus driver resigns" [12/14/10] "An Illinois bus driver recorded smashing through a snowman has resigned, officials said. The video, titled "Insane Bus Driver Brutally Murders Snowman," allegedly depicts the driver taking the bus into an oncoming traffic lane to smash through the snowman.[...]"  Note:  Stupid, stupid sequentials.  

"Woman sues ex-fiance for calling off wedding just before big day" [12/14/10] "He jilted her four days before their fall 2010 wedding, leaving her on the hook for a tab of nearly $100,000. According to the lawsuit, she spent $30,000 on the banquet hall, $10,000 for live music, $5,000 for the wedding gown, $600 for wedding shoes and more than $11,000 for flowers and lighting. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  

"Convicted killer tells court he wants to be executed ASAP" [12/14/10] ""This process is taking entirely too long," complains Shannon Johnson."  I honestly want to be out of here by next year." (DelawareOnline.com) [...]"  Note: A frequent complaint. I hear it all the time.

"Man accused of tossing dead squirrel into drive-thru window" [12/14/10] "After he pulled up to the Hardee's window and received his order, he asked the attendant for "extra nuts" for his pet squirrel, which he was holding and petting. He then tossed the dead animal in the drive-thru window and drove away. (Peoria Journal-Star) [...]"  

"Czech Republic under fire for ‘penis testing’ gay refugees" [12/10/10] "The European Union's top human rights agency is criticizing the Czech Republic for its practice of using a "sexual arousal" test to see if refugee claimants are telling the truth when they claim to be gay.  According to a report released last week by the EU's Fundamental Rights Agency, refugees claiming to be gay have been subjected to "phallometric testing," a process in which sensors are attached to the penis, and the subject is then shown straight porn. "Those applicants who become aroused are denied asylum," reports the BBC. If the sensor picks up no movement, the Czech government considers the person to be gay and refugee status is granted. The FRA sees numerous problems with this. The practice may break the European human rights code's rule that "no one shall be subjected to torture or to inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment," the organization says in its report. Furthermore, the test is useless for bisexual individuals, the report notes, and obviously cannot be applied to gay women. [...]"   

"Granny's $100 ticket -- for throwing out newspaper" [12/08/10] "What a bunch of garbage!  An elderly Manhattan woman living on Social Security was slapped with a $100 ticket -- for throwing away a newspaper in a city trash can. Delia Gluckin, 80, tossed the paper, which was in a white plastic shopping bag, in a bin right outside her Inwood apartment building Saturday morning and was immediately ambushed by a Department of Sanitation agent wielding a handheld computerized ticket book. "I was walking to take the subway downtown and dropped it in a trash can, and this lady in a blue uniform ran up to me," Gluckin told The Post.  I said, 'I didn't, it was just a newspaper,' and I offered to take it out," said Gluckin, who had bought the Post at a deli and then tossed it after reading it. Sanit cop Kathy Castro wrote Gluckin the summons for putting "improper refuse" in a city litter basket.  "She acted as if I had a committed a crime," said the outraged octogenarian. "I said, 'Look, lady, I'm a senior citizen . . . I'll just take it back.' I even said to her, 'Am I your first customer of the day? I really felt intimidated . . . I have a feeling she just wanted to make her quota." The green mesh can, at the corner of Beak Street and Seaman Avenue, is marked with signs that read "litter only" and "no household trash." [...]"  Note:  Now, if the newspaper was laying on the ground, and it was picked up by someone else and thrown in the can, it would have qualified .... the fact that it was purchased and thrown away by the same person disqualifies it from being 'legal litter'. That's just another sequential control dynamic in play . They are unable to relate to the CONTEXT of a situation in society in any reasonable manner. It is that same lack of flexibility that makes the lives of ambitious sequentials (reincarnating problem people) a clusterfuck for everyone else to endure.

"Woman who bit hubby's tongue off charged with felony mayhem" [12/08/10] "A criminal complaint said Karen Lueders was "still carrying a New Year's horn in her hand and singing Christmas carols" outside her house as the first police officers arrived on scene. As police asked what kind of help was needed, Karen Lueders blew the horn in an officer's ear. She also threw a coffee cup at the cops. (Sheboygan Press) [...]"  Note:  Another one who has been raised by wolves.

UK: "Woman who hid births is sentenced" [12/08/10] "A woman who kept the bodies of three stillborn children in a bin in her wardrobe for up to 20 years has been sentenced to community service. Bernadette Quirk, 55, formerly of St Helens, Merseyside, gave birth to four babies between 1985 and 1995. Liverpool Crown Court heard that she wrapped three of the babies in rags and kept them in the small plastic bin, and buried another in a cemetery. Quirk had admitted concealing the births, during a previous hearing. She was given a two-year community order, subject to supervision, and ordered to take part in a women's intervention project. The remains of the babies were discovered in July 2009 by Quirk's daughter, Joanne Lee, who contacted Merseyside Police. Anya Horwood, prosecuting, said Quirk - who has three children - began drinking heavily and fell into a "chaotic and dysfunctional" lifestyle after her second marriage ended in the mid-1980s. "She had a number of sexual relationships during this period," she said. Quirk's barrister Ian Morris said: "She desperately wanted to hide the pregnancies to protect herself and her family from what she had done." [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: "Man pulled from path of incoming train" [12/04/10] "Spanish police have released CCTV footage showing an off-duty policeman rescuing a man who fell onto the tracks at a metro station in Madrid. The newspaper El Pais reported the 41-year-old man was under the influence of alcohol and lost his balance on the platform of Puerta del Angel station. Passengers on the platform are seen screaming and waving their arms to alert the driver. The police officer is seen walking onto the tracks and pulling the man away before the train can hit him. [...]"  Note: There's a HS intervention for you.  Video clip included. 

"Madison County Man Being Evicted Off His Own Land for Living Too Simply" [12/03/10] [2:15]   "Madison County officials are forcing a man out of his home — a recreational trailer — because they say he's breaking several ordinances. [...]"   

"Police: Man lost car, made up robbery" [12/03/10] "Police in Florida said a man allegedly invented a story about a carjacking because he couldn't remember where he had parked his car. Investigators said they soon determined Alberstat had invented the tale and he admitted to officers he had forgotten what he did with his car after using Xanax. [...]"  

Legal Case: "Fired for Failing to Slam, Verizon Manager Says" [12/02/10] "A store manager claims Verizon Wireless fired him for refusing to slam customers - to charge them for auxiliary items they do not know they are paying for. Edwin Whitaker says a corporate boss told him to "encourage slamming" at the store to boost profits, and when Whitaker refused, saying it was unethical and illegal, the boss got angry and then fired him on a pretext. [...]"   

Legal Case: "Dad: Court took my kids because I’m agnostic" [12/02/10] Video clip  [5:48] ".... I have read the order and am really concerned about why [the presiding court commissioner] twice mentioned [Scarberry’s] religious beliefs,” Drobac wrote to the Herald-Bulletin. “Such discretion would be clearly unconstitutional unless the parent’s religious practices were actually harming or posed a substantial threat of harm to the children.” [...]"   

Austria: "Yodeling offends praying Muslims, say judges" [12/01/10] "An Austrian has been fined for yodeling while mowing his lawn, according to a report.  The Kronen Zeitung newspaper claims Helmut G. was told by a court in Graz, Styria, that his yodeling offended his next-door Muslim neighbours. The men reportedly accused the 63-year-old of having tried to mock and imitate the call of the Muezzin. The daily paper writes the Austrian was fined 800 Euros after judges ruled he could have tried to offend them and ridicule their belief. The Muslims, whose nationalities were not revealed by the report, were right in the middle of a prayer when the Austrian started to yodel. "It was not my intention to imitate or insult them. I simply started to yodel a few tunes because I was in such a good mood" the man told the newspaper today (Mon).  [...]"    

"Pennsylvania Police Ponder Riddle of 5 ‘Invisible’ Children" [11/30/10] "Police track down five children who were raised with no birth certificates, schooling, vaccinations or medical care Police in York, Pennsylvania, are asking themselves how the parents of five children aged two to 13 managed to conceal them for so many years with no birth certificates, no schooling, no vaccinations and no evidence of medical care – and why. “I don’t know what would possess them at all,” said detective Dana Ward Junior, who tracked down the children after a child welfare agency received an anonymous tip-off. Ward has charged Louann Bowers, 33, and Sinhue Johnson, 45, with five counts of child endangerment. They are due to appear in court on Friday. [...]"  

"Sleeping driver wakes, plunges into pool" [11/30/10] "Authorities in Florida say a man sleeping in his idling car sped into a pool when he was awakened by deputies. Marckenson woke up when deputies tapped on his window and he put his car into gear. Deputies called for him to stop as he slowly moved forward. Instead, they say, he punched the gas and sped through a playground and a wall surrounding a neighboring apartment complex before plunging into a pool.[...]"    

"Man reports false murder to cure boredom, nicotine craving" [11/30/10] "Alex Lee Baker, 20, (left) first told police he didn't make the calls, but eventually admitted calling 911 three times on Sunday because he was bored and hadn’t had a cigarette in two days. (Clarksville Leaf Chronicle) [...]"   

"Plastic surgeon sues 3 patients" [11/30/10] "A Chicago plastic surgeon is suing three former patients for negative comments made on Internet sites about him and his work, his lawyer says. [...]"  

"Handyman allegedly murdered slow paying clients" [11/30/10] "Police in Italy have caught up with a handyman who would allegedly kill clients who did not pay him. [...]"   

Legal Case: "That's a Natural Death? Family Asks" [11/29/10] PDF "A family claims their son died after sheriff's deputies beat him, sprayed him with pepper spray, put a spit hood on him and applied pressure to his jugular vein while he was shackled hand and foot to a chair. The family sued Forensic Medical Management Services, which allegedly declared that Andron Reed died from natural causes [...]"  

Legal Case: "Hospital Did Wrong Spinal Surgery, Man Says" [11/29/10] PDF "St. Louis University doctors mixed up their patients and did the wrong surgery on one man's spine, the man claims in City Court. Leon Arnold and his wife sued the university, Tenet Health Systems, and Dr. Kenneth Smith Jr. [...]"  

"Comedian Leslie Nielsen Dies" [11/29/10]  Note:  Funniest Jokes From Comedian's Characters In 'Airplane' And 'Naked Gun'

"Adrift on the Pacific for 50 days – and it was all down to love" [11/29/10] "Love – fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol – sparked an ill-fated voyage by three teenagers who were rescued last week after drifting for 50 days in the South Pacific. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Man dies after trying to save dog" [11/28/10] "A man dies after jumping into the icy River Lune in Lancashire in an attempt to save his pet Springer spaniel. [...]"   

"US man gets 25 years for drowning wife in toilet" [11/27/10] "A man has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for drowning his wife in a toilet in 1999. Doug Plude was accused of poisoning 28-year-old Genell Plude with migraine medicine, drowning her in the toilet at their northern Wisconsin home and trying to make it look like a suicide. The 43-year-old pleaded guilty to first-degree reckless homicide as part of a plea deal. Plude initially was convicted of first-degree intentional homicide in 2002, and served five years. That conviction was overturned because an expert witness had exaggerated his credentials. Plude received credit for time served, so he'll serve a little more than 19 years. In court Wednesday, Plude reasserted that his wife killed herself with prescription drugs and that he was sorry it happened. [...]"   

"Woman cuts in line at Toys 'R Us, threatens to shoot customers" [11/26/10] "A 21-year-old Middleton woman was arrested Thursday night when she threatened other shoppers while waiting in line at the Toys R Us store, 7309 West Towne Way, which opened for Black Friday shopping at 10 p.m., Madison police reported. Several hundred shoppers were in line just after 10 p.m., when the woman attempted to move to the front of the line, police said. When she was confronted by other shoppers, she made threats to retrieve a gun and shoot the shoppers. No gun was found, and the woman, who was not named, was arrested and taken to the Dane County Jail on a tentative charge of disorderly conduct. "She's now spending her shopping money to post bond," said Madison Police Sgt. Erik Fuhremann. [...]"   

"Thousands attend turkey testicle festival" [11/26/10] "Organizers of the 28th annual Turkey Testicle Festival in Illinois said more than 1,000 pounds of fowl genitals were served to a crowd of about 4,000 people. [...]"  Note:  Ya gotta have balls to live in Illinois, I guess.

"Pakistani muslims threaten chaos if christian woman not executed for ‘blasphemy’" [11/26/10] "Hundreds of Muslims marched in the eastern city of Lahore after the most influential Sunni Muslim alliance in Pakistan urged the Government not to grant mother-of-five Aasia Bibi clemency. A crowd of several hundred called for "Jihad" and pledged to sacrifice their lives to protect the honour of Muhammad.  [...]"  Note:  Go ahead, 'sacrifice yourselves' .... minionesque individuals raised by wolves.

Date With Destiny: "Country club worker killed by golf ball" [11/26/10] "A Florida country club worker died a day after being hit by a golf ball, authorities said. Maurice Hayden, 42, died on Thanksgiving Day. He had been hit in the head by a tee shot at the Mayfair Country Club in Sanford, Fla., the Orlando Sentinel reported. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Woman run over by her own car, twice" [11/25/10] "An Australian woman was in a hospital after being run over by her own car -- twice, authorities said. The woman, from the Melbourne suburb of Noble Park, was hit in her driveway Wednesday afternoon when her car rolled backward out of the driveway. The car then crossed the road, struck a fence and bounced back, hitting the woman again. [...]"   

Date With Destiny: "Stupid Is As Stupid Does: Man kills pregnant girlfriend over baby's name" [11/25/10] "A Boston man shot his pregnant girlfriend, her sister, then turned the gun on himself after the two argued over whether the baby's last name should be hyphenated, authorities say.  [...]" 

Motel 6 guest trashes room in attempt to find "trapped midget" [11/24/10]  Video clip included. "In what was apparently a phone prank that has taken place in other parts of the country, a motel guest said someone called his room and told him to smash the things inside in order to free a "midget" trapped next door. Spartanburg County, S.C., sheriff's deputies told WXII sister station WYFF that they were called to a Motel 6 on Sunday night after a guest nearly punched through to the next room with a wrench. A motel worker called deputies after she discovered the man had damaged the television, mirrors, and the wall between rooms, according to a police report. When deputies arrived, 73-year-old Joseph Jones told them someone had called his room about 11 p.m. and said he was a manager at the motel. Jones said the male caller told him the previous guest had installed highly sophisticated cameras in his room. The caller told Jones not to bother looking for them and instead, the caller would instruct him on how to get rid of the cameras.[...]" 

"69-Year-Old Woman Trapped in Bathroom 20 Days" [11/24/10] "Twenty days. Alone. Trapped in a room with no window. For many, that may seem like a nightmare, but for one elderly French woman living by herself, it was her reality.  [...]" 

‘We’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies,’ (stupid) Palin tells Beck [11/24/10] "... we've got to stand with our North Korean allies. We're bound by treaty..." , "South Korean," the co-host corrected. "Yeah," Palin continued. "We're also bound by prudence to stand with our South Korean allies, yes."  It's just the latest in a string of gaffes by the former Republican vice presidential candidate. During the campaign, Palin suggested that part of the US was not the "real America." Prior to the 2008 election, Palin misspoke about the vice president's constitutional role. "[The vice president is] in charge of the US Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better," she said. Just this year, the former governor admitted that she and her family had gone to Canada to receive health care. In prior days, she had demonized Canadian-style socialized medicine while arguing against reform. [...]"  Note:  And they have this stupid fascist bimbo running in 2012.

PA: "It's not ethical to pay self bonuses, says commission" [11/24/10] "Former Radnor Township manager David A. Bashore violated state ethics rules by paying himself bonuses without permission from the township board of commissioners, the state ethics commission ruled in a finding released to the public today. Bashore, who was terminated in April 2009, was ordered to repay $55,331 to the township, and he's already issued a check for the amount, said John J. Contino, executive director of the State Ethics Commission. [...]"  

"The Funniest Notes To Bad Parkers Ever Written" [11/21/10] "Most of us have been there: you're trying to enter or leave a parking space and can't because of someone else's terrible parking job. Who do these people think they are? Taking up two spaces or jutting your car out into the street just tells the world you don't know what you're doing. Obviously, the best way to handle this is with a passive (or not so passive) aggressive note on the offender's car. We looked for some of the funniest notes to bad parkers on the web, and now we want you to share your best ones with us. Snap a photo and upload it to our slideshow, and don't forget to vote for the funniest one! [...]"  

"Senior Federal Judge, Pleads Guilty To 2 Drug Charges" [11/20/10] "A veteran federal judge who was arrested on charges that he bought and used drugs with a stripper pleaded guilty Friday to two-drug related charges, including a felony count of giving her cocaine even though he knew she was a convicted felon. U.S. Senior Judge Jack T. Camp pleaded guilty to the felony charge of aiding and abetting a felon's possession of cocaine when he bought drugs for the stripper, who was secretly cooperating with authorities. He also pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors: possession of illegal drugs and illegally giving the stripper his government-issued laptop. Camp, 67, could face up to four years in federal prison when he is sentenced March 4, but he is likely to get substantially less time. Federal sentencing guidelines recommend he serve four to 10 months in prison. Camp's legal team may ask for an even shorter sentence. As part of the plea deal, Camp also resigned from the bench and agreed to cooperate with authorities looking into any of the cases he handled while he was being investigated. [...]"   

"Berlusconi orders 40% cuts to Italy's fine arts budget, but spends $100,000 to restore penis and hand to personal ancient statues" [11/20/10] "A penis has, once again, landed Silvio Berlusconi in trouble. The Italian leader is under fire for spending some $100,000 in public funds to replace a missing penis on a 2nd-century Roman statue of Mars and a hand on a statue of Venus, the BBC reports. Art experts complain that replacing the missing parts is tasteless and fails to respect the rules of art restoration. The statues, on loan from a museum, are kept in the courtyard of Berlusconi's official residence. 'It's horrific," one art historian said. "You just can't add on bits ad hoc to these works of art—the penis and hands may well have been there originally and then removed but you can't add something on like a plastic model." Berlusconi's official architect says the "plastic surgery" was officially authorized and shouldn't be so controversial. The new penis, he says, is detachable. [...]"  

"Robber in clown masks surprises woman sitting on toilet" [11/19/10] "The masked man asked the 70-year-old woman where all her drugs and money were. "I said, 'Boy, did you break into the wrong house!'" (NBC4i.com) [...]"  

"Spanish political 'orgasm' video criticised" [11/19/10] "Spanish politicians criticise a video by the Young Socialists in Catalonia in which a woman simulates an orgasm while casting her vote. In the video the young woman gets increasingly excited as she votes for the Socialist Party in this month's regional elections in Catalonia. The leader of the Green coalition in Catalonia, Joan Herrera, said it would be "very difficult to reach orgasm voting for any of the candidates, myself included".[...]"  Note: Voting, which is largely a delusion to make the population 'believe' they have a say in power politics concerning people who have influence over them, has never been that exciting. Dumb idea. 

"Robbery suspect caught after using lawnmower as getaway vehicle" [11/19/10] "The 45-year-old man is accused of walking into Kent's Korner store, displaying a stick and ordering the clerks to "give me your damn money." He got some cash and fled on a Craftsman riding lawn mower. Police were able to catch up with him. (Aiken Standard) [...]"  

"Bogus Art Cost Him Millions, Man Says" [11/19/10] "A man says antique dealers conned him out of more than $27 million by selling him forgeries and stealing his genuine art. Among the boondoggles, he says, he paid $15 million for a phony Monet and a phony Renoir, to men who shared his office. [...]"  Note:  Dumb as a stone.

"Airport staff 'exposed woman's breasts, laughed'" [11/19/10] "A woman is suing over an incident where airport staff allegedly pulled down her top and joked about her breasts in public view.  The 23-year-old traveller, from Amarillo, US, is suing the US Government for the emotional distress she says the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents caused. [...]"  Note: Lowlife sequentials, raised by wolves ... Related:  "Fake doctor jailed for giving breast exams in bars"  "An Idaho judge has set bond at $100,000 for a Boise woman police say posed as a physician and duped at least two other women into having their breasts examined by her at Boise-area nightclub... [...]"   Note: Lowlife wolf, raised by sequentials ...   

"Air India pilot blamed for crash" [11/18/10] "A napping pilot caused a plane crash in southern India in May that killed almost 160 people, an official investigation reportedly finds. [...]"  

"Wis. man shoots TV over Palin dance" [11/18/10] "A rural Wisconsin man blasted his television set with a shotgun after watching Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine Monday night, saying he was fed up with politics and Palin wasn't a very good dancer, according to court documents. Steven Cowan, 67, of the town of Vermont, about 15 miles west of Madison, then pointed the gun at his wife, 66-year-old Janice Cowan, who escaped and called police, authorities said. A SWAT team surrounded the couple's farmhouse, and officers were able to talk Cowan out Tuesday morning after an all-night standoff. Cowan had been drinking before he sat down to watch "Dancing with the Stars" and suffers from bipolar disorder, his wife told officers. He was charged Tuesday with second-degree reckless endangerment, and could be sentenced to up to 10 years in prison if convicted. [...]"  

"Woman Says Animal Officer Ran Wild" [11/18/10] "Murray City, Utah and its police chief blew off an animal control officer's pleas for help after her boss "pulled the head off a live kitten," and abused her too, the woman claims in Federal Court. Dianna Johnson says her former boss, Cory Bowman, "exhibited cruel and abusive behavior" to her, to other women and to the animals they were supposed to care for. [...]"  

"Man admits killing horses for meat" [11/18/10] "A South Florida man admitted Wednesday he stole horses from farms and slaughtered them for meat. [...]"   

"Drunk couple steal Walmart scooter, drive it to and from strip club" [11/18/10] "Billie Jo Stevenson, 36, (left) and Jonathan Lee Misner, 34, were charged with grand larceny and public intoxication after stealing the motorized shopping cart for their treks to the strip club. (Huntington Herald-Dispatch) [...]"  

"Man punches female boss after getting fired from baby goods store" [11/17/10] "After being reprimanded for not doing a good job, the man told the boss: "You're lucky we're on the clock." She responded, "What are you going to do? Hit a girl?" The man replied "yes" and was subsequently fired. He then hit her. (TribLocal.com) [...]"  

"Man tries to run down girlfriend after she rejects marriage proposal" [11/15/10] "The 22-year-old man's car narrowly missed the woman, jumped a curb, drove over the sidewalk, went through bushes and into a parking lot. (KTLA.com) [...]"   

"Battling couple's car mows down kids in yard" [11/15/10] "A Queens driver arguing with his girlfriend jumped a curb, crashed through an iron fence and plowed into a 4-year-old girl and her 11-year-old brother playing in their front yard yesterday, cops said. "It was horrible. The little girl was pinned between the bumper and the house," said a stunned Whitney Scottborgh, 43, who lives across the street from the house on 160th Street and North Conduit Boulevard in Springfield Gardens. [...]'   

"Teen fall victim used ladder to get to top of bell tower" [11/15/10] "A 16-year-old high school junior, who fell to his death from a 174-foot bell tower at a cemetery in Ambler, used an aluminum ladder to enter the structure, authorities said Monday. Questions remain about the circumstances surrounding the fall on Sunday at Whitemarsh Memorial Park in Horsham Township; however, investigators do not suspect foul play [...]"  

British pair 'beaten by pirates' [11/15/10] "A British couple who spent almost 400 days held hostage in Somalia have spoken of their "traumatic" time. [...]"  

"Woman stages funeral for live daughter" [11/14/10] "  Indiana police Sunday pondered how to charge a woman who staged a funeral for her daughter, who is not dead. "It is just such a bizarre case, we have been talking, trying to figure out what the most applicable charge will be," Sgt. Jon Bales of the Richmond, Ind., police told the Richmond Palladium-Times. "It will probably be attempted theft since she didn't actually get any money. We looked at the fraud statutes, but most of them involve insurance or credit cards."  Pastor Ron Chappell of New Life Ministries Church of the Nazarene, said he accepted Angela Boyd's request for a service for her daughter, who she claimed had been raped and killed by her father in Iowa. Boyd, 38, brought an urn and donation box to the church Tuesday and read a statement about her daughter's death as the congregation wept. But then her brother, Brian LeMaster, told the congregation the15-year-old girl was not dead and her family in Iowa confirmed she was alive and well. Boyd, who is facing sentencing Dec. 6 in two separate theft cases, ran out of the church without collecting the urn or the box and has not been seen since. [...]"  

"Austerity Britain? Residents' fury as council spends £7,500 'blinging up' mayor's gold chain" [11/14/10] "A Tory-run council has been slammed for spending more than £7,500 to add gold links to the mayor's chain. Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council in Kent splashed out a total of £7,552.81 to pay for the additional links of the official chain of office. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: "Woman killed when SUV crashes bedroom" [11/14/10] "A 17-year-old man police said was intoxicated drove his sport utility vehicle into in apartment, killing an Illinois woman sleeping in her bed, police said. The accident happened about 2:30 a.m. Saturday when the vehicle ran off the road and into a bedroom window of a first-floor apartment in southwest Bolingbrook, the Chicago Tribune reported. Bolingbrook Police Lt. Larry Carter said the vehicle landed on top of a 48-year-old woman. She was pronounced dead at the scene; her husband survived. The victim's name wasn't released.[...]"   

Date With Destiny: "UK walker killed in attack by bull" [11/14/10] "A man is killed and his wife critically injured when they are attacked by a bull while walking on a public footpath in Nottinghamshire. [...]"   

PA: "Pennsylvania man lived the drama that inspired 'Unstoppable'" [11/12/10] "At lunchtime on May 15, 2001, CSX Locomotive No. 8888 eased down tracks in a rail yard outside Toledo, Ohio. The engine known as "Crazy Eights" picked up speed as it pulled 47 freight cars, two of them loaded with toxic chemicals, south toward Columbus. Only no one was on board. Jon Hosfeld, a native of Mechanicsburg, Pa., was in the rail yard eating his lunch.  He wasn't supposed to be there that day. Hosfeld, 52, ran a CSX yard 67 miles south in Kenton; he'd come north to deposit a carload of children and Ohio's lieutenant governor in Toledo for a program aimed at raising awareness about the dangers of rail crossings.  Over the radio from the tower came the foreman's voice: "I think we've got a problem." It was a railroad worker's worst nightmare: a runaway train.  Hosfeld dropped his lunch. He and a coworker jumped into a silver Dodge Dakota pickup and took off.  [...]"  Note: Only in Pennsylvania ...

UK: "Branch impales women in car during storm" [11/12/10] "High winds and heavy rain buffeting Britain uprooted a tree that crashed into a vehicle, impaling a female passenger and injuring the driver, police said. [...]" 

Date With Destiny: "Wife dead after leaving ricotta out of lasagna" [11/12/10] "Frederick Wilkes, 54, lashed out at the woman after he discovered beans inside a ricotta cheese container in their fridge. "He threw the container of beans at her and they became involved in an altercation," says a prosecutor. (Boston Herald) [...]"   

"Lava's in the air: Amorous volcano evacuees want space for love-making" [11/11/10] "A “chamber of love” was among the unusual requests demanded by some of the 300,000 evacuees still sheltering Thursday following the eruption of the Merapi volcano in Indonesia. Packed into football stadiums and halls since the eruption two weeks ago, frustrated lovers asked officials to provide them with a private space to be intimate with their partners. Newly-wed Ari Margareta, 18, told Indonesia’s The Republika newspaper that she had requested the “chamber of love” as “her biological needs were not being fulfilled." Other evacuees told how randy locals were resorting to desperate measures, risking their lives traveling through the 12-mile exclusion zone around Mount Merapi to their houses to enjoy some home comforts. The fourth floor of a giant stadium was suggested as the perfect location for the chamber, which has precedence, with a similar amenity provided for those fleeing an earthquake on the Indonesian island of Java in 2006. The villagers' desires continued to build as the volcano, known as Fire Mountain, showed little sign of relenting. A total of 151 people have died since Merapi began erupting on Oct. 26. [...]"  Note: When death is around the corner, the DNA programmed urge to reproduce is very demanding for those who are held in its grasp. See the "Changing Dynamics, Earth, Ocean and Atmosphere" panel for details on the Merapi eruption dynamic and the minionesque population.

"Cops: Priest stole $83K, used part of it to pay off porn debts" [11/11/10] "The priest allegedly had one credit card that he used exclusively for porn, with a $25,000 balance. He owed Comcast over $4,000 for on-demand adult movies. (Lawrence Eagle-Tribune) [...]" 

"Walmart flasher flashes, then shows ID at check-out counter" [11/11/10] "Moments after he exposed himself to a female employee, the man proceeded to a checkout lane and purchased items with a government issued voucher — revealing his identity and prompting his arrest the following day. (TimesNews.net) [...]" 

Arizona: "City Hall signs warn against drinking from toilets and urinals" [11/11/10] ""I'm glad that I saw that sign because I was very thirsty and looking for a means to quench my thirst," jokes the mayor. "Seriously, I'm certain there's some regulation out there that requires that type of sign." (Arizona Republic) [...]"  Note: All this, in the same state where most people carry weapons. Sequentials in charge ... 

"Man doesn't letting shooting get in way of sandwich enjoyment" [11/11/10] "He was wounded in the groin and thigh while leaving the store, but decided to go home and eat his sandwich before checking into a hospital. (New Haven Register) [...]"   

"Comatose Ariel Sharon 'could be home in days'" [11/11/10] "The family of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is preparing to bring him home from hospital "within days", Israeli sources say. The 82-year-old has been in a coma since 2006, when he suffered a massive stroke. Last month, medics at Sheba Medical Centre in Tel Aviv said the former leader remained in a vegetative state but that his condition was stable. "He does have periods of sleep and in the daytime he opens his eyes. Sometimes the family believes there is recognition," his long-time personal physician and friend Dr Shlomo Segev told the BBC. The hospital has confirmed that it is making arrangements to move Mr Sharon to his beloved farm - Sycamore Ranch - in southern Israel, where his late wife is buried. As defence minister, Mr Sharon masterminded Israel's invasion of Lebanon in 1982. During the invasion, Lebanese Christian militiamen allied to Israel massacred hundreds of Palestinians in two refugee camps under Israeli control. [...]" Note:  An appropriate and ironic dispensation .... Trapped for years in limbo between here and the astral ... a good place for a 'terrorist' of his 'stature'. The creepy nature of this man never seems to end. Notice the 'clinging to life' motif so common with sequential incarnations ... as they 'take care' of this man's body for years, even enshrining a model of it that breathes.  How creepy can they get?     Related: Gallery puts Sharon coma sculpture on display [10/20/10] "A life-size sculpture of former Israeli PM Ariel Sharon, which appears to breathe, is to go on display at a Tel Aviv art gallery. [...]" Comatose Sharon Sculpture Stirs Israeli Emotion "A life sized replica of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in hospital bed, an installation by Israeli artist Noam Braslavsky, is exhibited at the Kishon gallery in Tel Aviv, Israel, Tuesday, ... [...]" 

"Woman, 52, accused of repeatedly harassing drivers" [11/11/10] "She'd brake repeatedly so drivers behind her would end up tailgating her, then she would pull alongside them. The woman would then pull over, and when the other driver pulled over, she'd call police and claim the other driver was harassing and stalking her. (Nut case!) (Asbury Park Press) [...]"  

"Woman promises to behave after stealing meter-reader scooter" [11/11/10] "A judge warned the woman: "You're going to have to keep yourself under control." She nodded and said: "I have a paradigm shift in my motivation for being in society." (Missoulian.com) [...]"  Note:  Raised by wolves.  

"Suspect had mouse in rectum" [11/11/10] " Police in South Carolina said a nude burglary suspect who appeared to be under the influence of drugs was found to have a mouse lodged in his rectum. Oconee County sheriff's deputies said they responded to a home near Seneca Monday on a report of a burglary and discovered Noah Smith, 31, was naked and lying face down in the doorway of the address, WCSC-TV, Charleston, reported Wednesday.  Investigators said Smith slapped a deputy, who responded by using his Taser to no effect. More deputies arrived and confronted Smith in the victim's bedroom, where he allegedly tried to attack the authorities until he was finally wrestled to the ground and placed in handcuffs and leg shackles. The sheriff's office said Smith, who was suspected to be under the influence of hallucinogenic mushrooms, was taken to a nearby hospital, where an X-ray discovered a mouse in his rectum. Smith, who told hospital staff he could not remember the events leading to his arrest, was charged with resisting arrest, assault and battery, and indecent exposure. [...]"    Note:  I just can't imagine what went on .... 

Woman accused of hitting cop with "rigid feminine pleasure device" [11/11/10] "She did it after running out of a restaurant without paying her bill -- something she's done before. A full police report on the incident wasn’t yet available, but the assault apparently occurred when a police officer went to Bildsten’s residence to investigate the unpaid tab. Bildsten was taken into custody and was resting in a cell at the Gurnee Police Department early Wednesday afternoon, and so could not be reached for comment. (Triblocal.com) [...]"  

TX:  "Cheerleader ordered to applaud player who sexually assaulted her" [11/10/10] "A teenage cheerleader who was sexually assaulted by a star player from her school's basketball team is to appeal after a court ruled she had no right to refuse to applaud her attacker during subsequent matches. The girl, known as HS, is suing Silsbee High School in Texas for expelling her from the cheerleading squad after she told coaches she was not prepared to shake her pom-poms in support of her attacker, Rakheem Bolton. Three judges at the Fifth US Court of Appeals in New Orleans said her constitutional rights had not been violated and ordered her to pay the school's legal costs. The lawsuit stretches back two years, and began when HS, who was 16 at the time, was taken into a games room at a house party in the small town in south-east Texas and sexually attacked by Bolton and two other youths. Bolton later pleaded guilty to misdemeanour assault, for which he received two years of probation, community service, a fine and was required to take anger-management classes. Charges of rape were dropped, leaving him free to return to school and take up his place on the basketball side. [...]"   

"Dog eats $300 cash, $900 in checks" [11/10/10] "The president of Washington state's West Seattle Soccer Club said his dog took an envelope of fundraising money and ate $300 in cash and $900 in checks. Bill Fry said he found a $50 bill on his deck when he returned home and initially thought it was a lucky find until he discovered an envelope containing $600 in cash and $900 in checks was missing from atop his dresser, KING-TV, Seattle, reported Tuesday. Fry said he found about $300 buried in his yard and noticed scraps of money in the droppings of Cosmo, his 5-year-old lab-shepherd mix. [...]"  

Cop Arrests Biker With Cerebral Palsy for DUI [11/10/10] "A Utah man who suffers from cerebral palsy, epilepsy and other disabilities was stopped while riding a motorized bicycle and charged with DUI after admitting he takes medication.  [...]"  Note: Medication does not automatically mean the person is impaired ...  

"Banks Reject Mortgage Loan Because House is Round" [11/09/10] "We were pre-qualified for a loan; with two professional incomes, good credit and enough cash for a 20 percent down payment, that would not be our problem. Yet two mortgage companies turned us down. The first did so after its investors – big banks with household names – rejected our application. The second mortgage company’s internal underwriters also rejected us. Their reasons were the same: The home, a customized modular house of internationally acclaimed design, built in 1989, is . . . round. Being “unusual” or “unique,” it was deemed “not marketable.” Despite its evident worth and multiple independent appraisals, the lenders said they could not assign a value to the house because there were no comparable properties. And, with no “value,” there was insufficient collateral for a loan. [...]"  Note: Since the people were going to buy the house, the question of "marketability" was moot. Stupid sequentials at the mortgage company. So tedious and brainless ... can't adapt to "contextual" situations and have little or no foresight ...

"Sara Lee to sell bakery division to Bimbo in Mexico" [11/09/10] " U.S. food giant Sara Lee Corp. said Tuesday it has agreed to sell its North American Fresh Bakery business to Grupo Bimbo for $959 million. Sara Lee said the sale of one of the world's largest baking companies did not include license of Sara Lee baked goods in Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Sara Lee will also hold on to its frozen desserts and sliced deli meats products. Included in the transaction, Grupo Bimbo, the international firm based in Mexico, would obtain rights to Grandma Sycamore's, Heiner's and Rainbo bakery brands. The sale includes 41 plants and 4,800 bakery routes, the statement said. [...]"  

"Man threatens to kill Radio Shack employee over return policy" [11/09/10] "After being told he couldn't return his phone, the customer called the clerk vile names and threatened to kill her and her son ripping their heads off, court documents say. He continued to call the store and told the employee "there's a special place in hell for her." (SeattlePI.com) [...]"  

Serial drunk-driver shows up intoxicated at sentencing [11/09/10] "The woman, who has been convicted of drunk-driving eight times, was sentenced to 18 months in prison. (Oshkosh Daily Northwestern) [...]"  

Wedding limo carjacked at Mass. church [11/07/10] "Members of a New England wedding party said they didn't want to upset the happy couple by telling them their limousine had been carjacked. [...]"   

China: "Artist says he's under house arrest" [11/07/10] "A Chinese artist and activist says he has been placed under house arrest for comments he made about a party he organized. Ai Weiwei said his house is being guarded by police to prevent him from attending a concert and river crab feast at a party at his Shanghai studio Sunday, CNN reported. But his use of the term "river crab" is believed to make a political statement. The Mandarin word for river crab sounds like "harmonious," a word some use to describe government censorship. [...]" Note:  

"World's tallest 'jesus' statue looms over Poland"  [11/07/10] "Work on the world's tallest statue of 'jesus' was completed Saturday in Swiebodzin, western Poland, looming three metres higher than the 'christ' figure towering over Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. Measuring 36 metres in height, the 'christ of Swiebodzin' weighs in at an estimated 440 tonnes. "It is my life's work.... He will be the greatest preacher of the faith. Europe needs preachers like christ," said local roman catholic priest Sylwester Zawadzki [...]"  Note: That's quite an erection they've got there ... Zawadzki's folly ... 

Woman, 86, charged with wrong-way trip on 322 and I-95 [11/05/10] "An 86-year-old Wilmington woman has been charged with driving the wrong way on Route 322 and I-95 in Delaware County on Saturday, causing four vehicles to crash as motorists swerved to get out of the way. Pennsylvania State Police also are asking their Delaware counterparts to retest Margaret Lazor to determine if she should be allowed to continue driving. Lazor allegedly became lost and ended up traveling eastbound in the westbound lanes of Route 322 in her 1993 Buick Century station wagon before connecting with I-95, driving north in the southbound lanes. While four vehicles were damaged swerving to get out of her way, no serious injuries were reported. Police said it is not known exactly where she entered Route 322 or exited the interstate. [...] 

UK: Baby falls seven floors – and survives [11/03/10] "The expression "bouncing baby" has been given miraculous new meaning by an 18-month-old boy who fell from a seventh floor window in Paris and survived without a scratch. The child, left alone in his family flat with his three-year-old sister on Monday evening, climbed out of a window. He then fell 60 feet onto the awning of a café and bounced straight into the arms of a doctor who had rushed across the street to try to help. The toddler's parents, who have not been named, were still in police custody last night. The child's escape was even more miraculous than it first appeared. The café, in the 20th arrondissement in north-eastern Paris, was closed for the All Saints bank holiday. The awning which broke the fall should have been folded but had jammed the day before. Doctor Philippe Bensignor, who caught the child in his arms on the first bounce, had been having a drink in a café across the road. "My son happened to look up and [...]"  Note: Another higher self intervention. 

Date With Destiny: Actor killed after being mistaken for real gunman [11/02/10] "A night watchmen in the Philippines claims he was just doing his job when he shot and killed an actor on a movie set Saturday night. Police said Eddie Cuizon, 52, a watchman in Cebu, fatally shot Filipino actor Kirk Abella, 32, who was sporting a mask and a fake gun for a film shoot. Abella was working on the set of "Going Somewhere," a film by British director Alan Lyddiard. He was riding away on a motorcycle for the closing scene when he was shot. The Filipino newspaper Diario reports Cuizon, 52, told police he was responding to calls from concerned citizens about armed men on motorcycles. He said he spotted two men on motorcycles and took off after them. The newspaper says Cuizon told police he shot Abella after he brandished his gun, which turned out to be plastic. [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: Narrow Escape: Car crashes into bedroom [11/01/10] [1:29]  Note:  Higher Self intervention for this incarnation.

Sex For Ticket Dismissal Lands Officer In Prison [11/01/10] "A former California Highway Patrol officer convicted of dismissing a speeding ticket in exchange for sex has been sentenced to two years in prison. Superior Court Judge Lia Foster on Friday sentenced 53-year-old Abram Carabajal for perjury and receiving a bribe, giving him a harsher sentence than the Probation Department recommended. [...]"  

Woman dies trying to slide down stair rail [11/01/10] "A 23-year-old public school teacher from the Chicago area died at a Halloween party Saturday night when she fell trying to slide down a stair rail. Preliminary details from police suggest that Duskey, dressed as Silk Spectre, a superhero from the Watchmen comic books, tried to slide down the stair rail from the mezzanine level but lost her balance and fell four storeys to the basement level. Hotel officials did not issue a comment on the matter. [...]"  

Teens skip check with waiter on car roof [10/30/10] Skokie, Ill. "Three Chicago teenagers were charged with ditching a dinner bill and drove off with a waiter clinging to the roof rack of their SUV, police said. The trio was pulled over in suburban Lincolnwood earlier this week after they allegedly drove eight blocks with a waiter from the Buffalo Wild Wings in Skokie hanging on to their vehicle.  The Chicago Tribune said the incident began when servers allegedly saw the three skip out on their $51 bill. Waiter Peter Crotty gave chase and jumped aboard the SUV as it left the parking lot. The SUV went through one red light before pulling behind a building.  "They started getting out of the vehicle," Crotty said. "I was thinking they were going to fight me, so I jumped off."  Crotty told the newspaper he then ran back to the restaurant to finish his shift. "I still had tables," he said.  As for the suspects, they face theft and battery charges. [...]"  Note: Having a simple policy of having customers pay when they order, like other businesses, would have prevented this from happening.    

"4 year old New York girl to be sued for negligence " [10/30/10] "She might have been too young for grade school, but a judge says a New York City girl was old enough to be sued over a bicycle accident that happened when she was 4.  [...]"  Note: The judge is a sequential. Sequential children, unlike simultaneous children, are 'adult minds' in a child  bodies, so they're viewed as 'adults' who should 'know better'. 

"Quirks of Fate": Cross-country runner won't go to state because of deer collision [10/30/10] "With just 100 meters to go in a 4,000-meter race, Sarah Glidden collided with a deer that had bolted from the woods. She was able to finish the race but failed to quality for the state meet after being thrown off course by the animal. (Appleton Post-Crescent) [...]"   Note:  The sequentials who ran the race should have qualified her for the race, but can't conceptualize dealing with the unknown.

Husband Accidentally Divorces Wife on Skype [10/29/10] "A Muslim man who told his wife "I divorce thee" three times in an online Skype messenger conversation has been told the separation stands. The ruling, made in an online fatwa by the Darul Uloom Deobandi seminary in northern India, regarded as one of Islam's leading authorities on religious law said that the woman would have to first marry another man before she could remarry her first husband. The man, from Qatar, wrote to the seminary following his Skype joke to seek clarification. "Jokingly typed 'talak, talak, talak' (I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee) to my wife on Skype chat. I don't understand Islam very much and did not know about how talaq works.  [...]"  Note:  It goes on and on ... geeze .. all he has to do is marry her again, if that's what he wants. This minionesque deference to an external belief system is all a state of mind, but the man just can't comprehend anything ... conceptually hobbled ... they just need to be together and tell the system to fuck itself, but it would never occur to him.

Date With Destiny: Car found in tree, woman found dead inside [10/29/10] "A bizarre tale began unfolding early Thursday morning, when police found an injured and incoherent girl walking in the darkness along the Schuylkill Expressway (I-76). The 15-year-old was picked up about 12:20 a.m., and was taken to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, according to city police. Later, she was able to recall being in a car with her mother when they had an accident, police said. Thursday afternoon, a search found the 1997 black Infiniti - in a tree off Roosevelt Boulevard with the mother's body inside. Apparently killed on impact, the woman was pronounced dead at the scene. The car was reportedly westbound on the Schuylkill, then took a ramp toward Roosevelt Boulevard, lost control and flew off the roadway. It vaulted 30 feet, struck a mound of rock and flipped, becoming entangled in the tree - out of sight from passing traffic, according to city police. [...]"  

Stepmom guilty of poisoning toddler son [10/29/10] "A New York woman was found guilty of manslaughter Thursday in the poisoning of her 21-month-old stepson by pouring windshield-washer fluid into his juice. [...]"  Note:  Raised by wolves. 

Mom pleads guilty to burning son in tub [10/29/10] "Prosecutors say a New York City mother has pleaded guilty to assault after she forced her 3-year-old into a tub of scalding water as 'punishment for soiling himself'.  [...]"  Note:   Raised by wolves. The boy is 3 years old. What's her excuse?

Work excuses: Chicken attack, cow invasion [10/28/10] "A Chicago-based Web site said a survey uncovered a number of strange excuses for missing work, including a chicken attack and a finger stuck in a bowling ball. CareerBuilder.com said its online survey of 3,125 full-time workers and more than 2,457 employers, conducted Aug. 17 to Sept. 2, found 29 percent of the workers admitted to calling in sick at least once when they were actually healthy, and 27 percent of the employers said they suspect bogus sick days are on the rise due to economy-related stress and burnout. The employers surveyed said the most bizarre excuses they received for employees missing work included a worker saying his mother was attacked by a chicken, an employee who claimed to have a finger stuck in a bowling ball, a hair transplant gone bad, a home invasion by a cow and a foot caught in a garbage disposal. [...]"   

Settlement in cross 'branding' case [10/28/10] "The family of an Ohio student whose teacher allegedly burned a cross onto his arm has settled a suit against the school district, officials said. [...]" 

Home intruder leaves after woman, 88, hits him in "vital spot" [10/28/10] ""He was in the kitchen and I met him there," she said of coming face to face with an intruder around 5 a.m. But the stranger, his identity concealed by a pumpkin mask, never answered. Instead, he became forceful. "We wrestled more or less until he got me in here," she said, indicating her bedroom. Once there, he tried to cover her face with a pillow. "It made me mad enough to do almost anything. And she did." [...]"  

Horse owners livid over hair-cutting incidents in Montana [10/28/10] "At least two Montana horse owners have reported thefts of horse hair. Sandy O'Rourke says someone had entered the corral where she keeps her horse and cut off the tails of two horses and part of the mane of a third horse. Bozeman Daily Chronicle) [...]"   

Man shoots himself in the knee while sleepwalking at 2 a.m. [10/28/10] "The 63-year-old man told police he woke up to a "bang." [...]"  Note:  Wow, all that multi-tasking!

Man arrested for 'attacking' woman in library with semen [10/28/10] "Police say while a woman was studying in a college library, Oritse Ayu walked past her while masturbating and struck her arm with semen. (WJZ.com) [...]"  Note:  Masturbating while walking along ... that's multi-tasking, too! Ha!

Woman arrested after painting herself and city park [10/28/10] "A witness alerted police to a young blonde woman painting several park benches, poles and tables of a light blue color. She had black and white face paint on and light blue paint on the palm of her hands, he told police. A 18-year-old woman was arrested. (Naples Daily News) [...]"   

Woman who stripped outside bar to give birth wasn't pregnant [10/28/10] "The 28-year-old woman was on her back on the sidewalk — naked from the waist down — when police got to the scene at 2:30 a.m. Monday. She refused to answer questions from police, instead yelling, "Get it out," and referencing pain in her genital area. Cops didn't believe she was pregnant and arrested her. (Sheboygan Press) [...]" 

Man has a hard time explaining the large cut on his scrotum [10/28/10] "The man first told police that a woman kicked him, then that he slipped, and finally something unintelligible about a broken screen door in another room. (OnlineAthens.com) [...]"     

"Woman Kills Baby Because He Cried While She Played A Game on Facebook" [10/28/10] "A Jacksonville mother charged with shaking her baby to death has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder. Alexandra V. Tobias, 22, was arrested after the January death of 3-month-old Dylan Lee Edmondson. She told investigators she became angry because the baby was crying while she was playing a computer game called Farmville. [...]"  Note: Another one raised by wolves. 

Media and Culture: "Take My Bulgarian Joke Book. Please" [10/28/10] NYT "The sign leading into town, faded but still readable in Bulgarian, was as I remembered it. “Welcome and good riddance,” it said. Gabrovians, like Borscht Belt comedians or Delaware Republicans, pride themselves on their sense of humor. Before the Wall fell, this hard-luck but endearing city at the foot of the central Balkans was regarded as the Communist capital of humor. The town’s most distinctive cultural landmark remains the House of Humor and Satire, a dour hulk from the early 1970s, now somewhat worse for wear, like so many other neglected remnants of the former Soviet empire. Black-and-white photographs from the day the House opened in 1971 show a bygone era: mobs of smiling Gabrovians jamming the square outside the building, then a spanking new Modernist box with a metal statue of Don Quixote in front, where apparatchiks wearing plaid leisure suits, wide ties and fake smiles greeted Todor Zhivkov, Bulgaria’s strongman leader. “There’s nothing funny in the picture but everybody’s laughing,” is how Galina Boneva analyzed the image one recent day. In charge of media affairs for the House, Ms. Boneva, who says with a melancholy mix of pride and resignation that, having dreamed of other lives in other places, she has spent her life here, added, “that’s the joke,” as if to suggest that some meta-wit inspired Gabrovians to pretend to be uproarious for the purpose of being collectively satirical. This was not an uncommon strategy for coping with life across the Soviet realm, amid the hypocrisies of Communism. Or maybe Ms. Boneva was kidding. Laughter is said to be the universal language. But that must be a joke itself. Of all cultural forms, humor — whether written, visual or stand-up — seems the clearest illustration of the greater truth that not everything translates from one society or era to another, even, or perhaps especially, in an age of globalization.  [...]"  

Staten Island woman faces jail after forging jury summons [10/28/10] "A Staten Island human resources manager forged a jury summons to avoid eight days of work — and now faces up to 14 years in prison, The Post has learned. Rebecca Thybulle, 32, was nabbed after her boss found evidence on Thybulle’s desk — while she was out of the office supposedly on jury duty — that she had doctored the Staten Island court summons, said a spokesman for District Attorney Daniel Donovan. Thybulle later tried to justify her cut-and-paste job of forging the official jury-duty summons by allegedly saying, "I needed to take some personal time off. My boss would not allow me to without a good excuse, and even then would badger you about it." [...]"   

Cop having hair done foils armed robber [10/28/10] "A New York police officer getting her hair done over the weekend thwarted a would-be robber in a beauty salon, shooting the weapon from the gunman's hands, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said in awarding the officer a promotion. [...]"  

Woman struck by golf ball in yard [10/28/10] "A Florida woman called police to report a golf ball struck her in the head while she was bouncing on a trampoline in her back yard, which borders a golf course. Police said the woman was advised the incident was not a criminal matter and officers suggested she contact the pro shop at the golf course. [...]"  

‘Drifting’ kills woman, 81; boy charged [10/28/10] "A 17-year-old Willow Grove boy was taken into custody this morning and accused of killing an elderly pedestrian while practicing a dangerous driving maneuver called "drifting." The practice, in which the driver pulls on the emergency brake and turns the wheel to slide the car sideways, surfaced in the 2006 action movie, Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift. The boy lost control of his 2000 Volkswagen Passat, which struck Zita Egitto. Egitto, 81, was walking on the sidewalk on Reed Street on her way to meet a friend, Ferman said. The car struck Egitto was such force that she was catapulted onto the porch of a home. She died of multiple injuries Oct. 15 [...]"  

Survival of nine in Alberta plane crash a ‘miracle’ [10/27/10] "A Transportation Safety Board (TSB) investigator is calling it a “miracle” that nine of ten people survived a northern Alberta plane crash Monday morning. [...]"   

Higher Self Intervention: "Woman Who Survived Mountain Plunge Wakes and Apologizes to Mom" [10/26/10] "A University of Colorado student who fell 40 feet off a mountainside and spent the next 12 hours dragging herself towards what she hoped would be rescue is taking her first steps in what will likely be a long recovery. Brenna Fisch, 19, remains in critical condition with a severe head injury, but is talking and has already apologized to her mother for making her friends and family worry.  "At one point she figured out what happened," her mother, Diana Fisch told ABCNews.com. Frisch told her mother "I'm so sorry Mommy. Please tell everybody I'm so sorry I made them worry." Fisch is recovering in a Boulder hospital. Diana Fisch said she has undergone surgery to repair her skull -- her forehead had caved in -- and that her eyesocket was rebuilt and an ear-reattached. What exactly happened during Fisch's hike along a popular Colorado climbing route is still unclear, but authorities say she took the "Owl" route on Dome Rock in Boulder Canyon and fell the equivalent of more than a two story building, shortly after 6 p.m. last Thursday, Sept.9.  [...]"  Note:  Clearly a Higher Self intervention took place in this experience. Interesting two-page account.

Higher Self Intervention: Chinese boy survives 20-story plunge [10/26/10] "A 10-year-old boy was in stable condition with only minor injuries after falling from the 20th floor of an apartment building in Guizhou Province, in southwest China, Xinhua News Agency reported Tuesday. The boy, whose name wasn't published in Chinese media reports, fell out of an open window on the 20th floor of his home Monday morning, according to police, but he landed on a car, breaking the roof and back windshield. The boy's head was cushioned by a pillow on the backseat, police said. [...]"   Note:  Hmmm.

Drunken sandwich-delivery driver cited twice in one night [10/26/10] "Police say a sandwich delivery driver was drunk Saturday when he parked his car in the middle of street and turned off the lights, nearly causing a crash.  Justin David Peterson, 19, of Winona was making a delivery for Erbert and Gerbert's Sandwich Shop when a taxi cab nearly struck his car, parked in the center of the road in the 150 block of West Fourth Street, police said. Police found the car still parked there about 1:15 a.m., and suspected Peterson was drunk. Officers contacted Peterson's manager, who said Peterson wouldn't make any more deliveries that night. They cited Peterson for underage drinking and released him, telling him not to drive. But police later spotted Peterson behind the wheel of a different vehicle near Broadway and Johnson streets. He was arrested for underage drinking and driving at 2:11 a.m. and taken to jail, where his blood-alcohol content measured 0.06 percent. [...]"  

‘Just surreal’: O’Keefe on crash that killed Stevens [10/25/10]  Video clip [2:25] "Former NASA chief Sean O’Keefe – a longtime friend of Ted Stevens – recounts the moments leading up to the plane crash that killed the former Republican senator and four others. NBC’s Ann Curry reports. (Nightly News) [...]"  Note: Start with volume low, due to initial commercial.

UK: Nurse 'switched off life support' [10/25/10] "An agency nurse working for the NHS switched off a Wiltshire patient's life support machine in error causing brain damage, it is revealed. [...]"  

UK: Driver caught short after car rolls into sea [10/25/10] "A driver caught short while waiting for a ferry returned to find his car had rolled into the sea in Dorset.  [...]"  

Date With Destiny: Baby dies as family jumps out of apartment  [10/24/10] "A four-month-old baby is dead and 10 other people are injured in the small town of La Verriere, west of Paris, France after they jumped out of their apartment's third-storey window after believing 'to have seen the devil'.  "Thirteen people were in an apartment (watching TV) on the second floor when, at around 3a.m., one of the occupants heard his child crying," Odile Faivre, the deputy prosecutor in Versailles told Sky News. "The man in question, of African origin, who was completely naked, got up to feed his child, at which point the other occupants took him for the devil." The man, 30, was stabbed in the hand and thrown out of the apartment. When he tried to barge back into the flat, the other occupants began jumping out of the window. Police are questioning the man as well as another occupant who jumped out the window holding a two-year-old girl. The baby died after being admitted to a children's hospital. It is unclear whether the occupants voluntarily jumped or were forced to. The Sydney Morning Herald also reports that investigators found no evidence of hallucinogenic substances in the apartment. [...]"  

Date With Destiny: Girl, 8, kills sister, 4, target shooting [10/24/10] "A 4-year-old girl was accidentally shot dead in the Arizona desert by her 8-year-old sister, authorities said Sunday." 

"Bigger crane needed for giant Poland Jesus erection" [10/24/10] " Construction supervisors in Poland say they need to bring in a larger crane to finish erecting the world's largest statue of Jesus Christ. [...]"  

Widower rescued from aide 'kidnap' [10/23/10] "A home-health aide and four relatives kidnapped and nearly killed an 80-year-old Brooklyn widower in an effort to trick him into handing over his legal rights, his money and his $500,000 home, authorities said yesterday.  Cops on Thursday rescued decorated Army veteran Frank Maiorana, of Borough Park, from the Queens home of Saint Michael "Stacy" McKenzie, 26, sources said. "When we got to him, he was in pretty frail shape," a source said. "We don't know how much longer he'd have lived." Cops believe the crew persuaded Maiorana, who suffers from dementia, to sign over his power of attorney and fleeced him of up to $100,000 in cash.  [...]"    

Date With Destiny: Man killed by own booby trap [10/23/10] "A Canadian man died when he accidentally pulled a string attached to his own booby trap and shot himself, police said. [...]"  

Woman accused of putting nasty stuff in hubby's drinks [10/22/10] "She allegedly started doing it after he demanded a divorce over her "sexting" to another guy. The man grew suspicious when his soda, coffee and water began tasting like insect spray. (Fond du Lac Reporter) [...]"  Note: More people raised by wolves. Sigh. 

Man arrested for trying to enter Mullet Festival without paying [10/22/10] "There's no word on whether the guy had a mullet. (He did have the smell of booze on his breath, though.) Northwest Florida Daily News) [...]"  Note:  RBW (Raised By Wolves)

"HMS Astute": world's most advanced nuclear submarine runs aground [10/22/10] "The grounding of the £1.2 billion Astute hunter-killer comes at the end of a dire week for the Royal Navy which has seen its carrier force halved, Harrier jump jets axed and warship force reduced by almost a quarter. It is understood that the boat, which is first in its class, ran aground by its stern in a manoeuvre that “went slightly wrong” after it had dropped some sailors ashore in tidal waters off the Isle of Skye. [...]"  Note: Astute ... I love irony.

Date With Destiny: Crocodile on plane kills 19 passengers after stampede [10/22/10] "A plane crash in Africa may give new meaning to the term, "snakes on a plane." A small passenger plane crashed into an empty house after a stampede of passengers tipped the jet into a tailspin in the Democratic Republic of Congo, killing all but one of the travelers aboard. The almost unbelievable news was  [...]"  

Couple sue Steak 'n Shake over sauce that was way too hot [10/22/10] "Their kid had to go to the hospital after consuming "Blair's Mega Death Sauce" at the restaurnt. (Cleveland, TN Banner) [...]"  Note:  The kids consumed something clearly marked as being extremely spicy. It was the kids choice. The business is not to blame. That's life, kid. Nice try, parents.

Suspicious package contained kittens [10/22/10] "Police in Florida said a suspicious package that sparked the closing of a highway turned out to contain a pair of kittens. [...]"  Note:  At least they checked and didn't just blow it up, although that would have evoked some interesting social flak.

Golf cart stolen for burglary spree [10/22/10] "Authorities in Florida said a man stole a golf cart from a country club and used it to drive to a pair of burglaries. [...]"   

Oops!: Pals throw groom in the air -- but don't catch him [10/21/10] "A 29-year-old Chicago man spent his wedding night in the hospital after a celebratory dance at a local banquet hall landed him flat on his back. The groom's sister-in-law told Niles police that friends were throwing the man up in the air as part of a "traditional dance" when they failed to catch him, causing him to fall to the ground. The incident reportedly occurred during an Oct. 9 reception at White Eagle Banquets, 6839 N. Milwaukee. Niles police, who responded to the scene with paramedics, said the man injured his neck and back in the mishap and was transported to Advocate Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge. [...]"  

"Men quit day jobs, thanks to goofy-looking Walmart customers" [10/21/10] "Two of the men who created the People of Walmart website have been able to quit their day jobs. "A lot of people have the misconception that we're just a bunch of mean, angry people," says one of the guys. "We do our best to keep it fun. We're not trying to hurt anybody." Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) [...]"   

"Chechnya attackers 'took a taxi'" [10/21/10] "Three militants who shook Chechnya by attacking its parliament arrived by taxi, Russian media report. [...]"   

Man charged with inappropriately touching female horse [10/21/10] "Marion Wegiel was allegedly comforting some horses after they were scared by a loud noise. He told police that he may have put his fingers inside one of the horses. He was charged after a veterinarian was called in to inspect the animals. (The Trentonian) [...]"   

UK: Pilots 'unaware' of safety check [10/20/10] "Many pilots were not fully checking a seat-locking device designed to stop people falling out of RAF jets, an inquest hears. [...]"  

Family sues sheriff's office over "droopy drawers" incident at mall [10/20/10] "Family members protested when Frantz Leger was arrested for returning to a mall after being told to stay away because of his low-rising pants. They were all arrested in a to-do that involved a helicopter and police dogs. (Palm Beach Post) [...]"   

Nice save! Cops grab guy who was about to jump from balcony [10/20/10] "He was at a Marriott with a rope around his neck. This story says, though, he was on a second-floor balcony [...]"   

Woman guilty of skydiving murder [10/20/10] "A Belgian woman is found guilty of murdering her love rival by sabotaging her parachute during a sky dive four years ago. [...]"   

 Israel:  Gallery puts Sharon coma sculpture on display [10/20/10] "A life-size sculpture of former Israeli PM Ariel Sharon, which appears to breathe, is to go on display at a Tel Aviv art gallery. [...]"  Note: How creepy can they get?   Related: Comatose Sharon Sculpture Stirs Israeli Emotion "A life sized replica of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in hospital bed, an installation by Israeli artist Noam Braslavsky, is exhibited at the Kishon gallery in Tel Aviv, Israel, Tuesday, ... [...]"  

Romanian beggar in the Bucharest's subway [10/19/10] [1:16] Note:  Note to self: Always turn off the cell phone before you start begging!

MSM: Caught on Tape: NJ Politician Takes $10K Bribe [10/19/10] Video clip   "Assemblyman Daniel Van Pelt is seen taking an envelope stuffed with $10,000. [...]"  

Ind. man arrested with remains on truck [10/19/10] "... Police say Albrecht's 2000 Chevrolet S-10 truck was seen speeding in Gary and a police officer who pulled the truck over noticed legs and a pair of blue jeans hanging from the tailgate. Smoke was coming from the truck, the windshield was shattered and Albrecht had glass on his arms and chest, police said. Albrecht allegedly told police, "I hit a person." As he was being booked into the Lake County jail, he allegedly told officers, "I drank about a case of beer today." [...]"   

"War hero's body to be re-interred" [10/19/10] "A Revolutionary War hero, who was buried on a Georgia bluff that eroded away and dumped his casket in a marsh, will be reburied with honors, an official said. [...]"  Note: The fact that nature wasn't kind to the body of this 'hero' from the past stuck in the craw of these hapless sequentials, stuck in mental remnants of previous lives during that time period.

Date With Destiny: Ex-linebacker drives off cliff [10/19/10] "Former NFL linebacker Junior Seau was arrested for domestic violence in Oceanside, California, in the early morning hours Monday, hours before he drove his car off a cliff in nearby Carlsbad,... [...]" 

Israeli "lottery" throws up same six numbers twice in three weeks [10/18/10] "Israel's latest lottery draw has thrown up exactly the same numbers as three weeks ago, Sky News reported Monday. Viewers were stunned when the six numbers - 36, 33, 32, 26, 14, 13 - were rolled out live on television Saturday night, in the exact reverse order of their drawing less than a month earlier. The only difference between the latest and first draw was an additional "strong" bonus ball. Despite a flood of calls suspecting the draw was rigged, Israel's national lottery authority has said it was checked several times. The company's number cruncher, Dr .Chaim Melamed, said, "We are in the business of luck, and when it comes to chances and probabilities anything is possible, even the rare and infrequent. It is unknown if lightning has struck twice for any lucky winners, but three players guessed all seven of last weekend's numbers correctly, winning over $1.1 million." [...]"   

G20 ‘Officer Bubbles’ sues YouTube and users over cartoons [10/18/10] "When he first saw a video of a Toronto constable threatening to arrest a G20 protester for blowing bubbles, one YouTube user was so livid, he couldn’t stop writing comments. In fact, the man, who uses the alias “theforcebewithme,” can’t even remember writing the specific comment that now has him defending a $1.2 million defamation lawsuit launched by Toronto’s now notorious “Officer Bubbles.” Const. Adam Josephs seeks to compel the Google-owned YouTube to reveal the identity of the person who created and posted the videos as well as any information it has on the 24 other users who made allegedly defamatory remarks. The case highlights a collision between two worlds: The wild-west of social media, where people under aliases throw insults without pause versus the laws of the old media world, where people are held accountable for everything they write. “I thought my opinion was my opinion in this country. I probably might not even post anymore,” said “theforcebewithme,” a 59-year-old government employee from New Brunswick who refused to give his real name. Josephs’ lawsuit isn’t targeting the video that sparked his infamy, but a collection of eight cartoons posted to the popular video website that show a police officer resembling Josephs engaging in abusive acts of power. [...]"  Related:   "Officer Bubbles"- From Bubbles to Bookings?  [10/18/10] [2:24]   "Toronto police officer threatens to arrest G20 activist for blowing bubbles during a mass detention in Toronto's Parkdale community. Woman is later arrested along with twenty others while dozens more are detained and searched. For a more complete account of the events of that day, watch the video "Toronto Community Defends G20 Activists"   Filmed by Nazrul Islam. [...]"  Related:  FLASHBACK: Toronto G20 Violent Protestors Exposed As Police Officers  Added [10/20/10]   

"Video shows Papuans being tortured" [10/18/10] "A graphic and disturbing video shows a Papuan man being poked in the genitals with a fiery stick as he is interrogated by a group of men who appear to be members of Indonesia's security services. Papua, which was formerly known as Dutch New Guinea, was not incorporated into Indonesia when it became a state in 1949. It was held by the Dutch until 1962 when, following Indonesian military incursions into the area, an agreement brokered through the Untied Nations gave Indonesia administrative control of the region pending a referendum. The victims speak in the Papuan dialect Lani, strongly suggesting the video was filmed in Puncak Jaya, a regency in Papua's highlands where a unit of the armed Free Papua Movement commanded by Goliath Tabuni has been staging sporadic attacks on Indonesian police and military posts for the past two years. Numerous weapons have been stolen in the raids and at least four soldiers and police have been killed in the past two years.[...]"  Note:  Life's pretty cheap in the land of the minions ...  

Charges filed in death of off-duty officer [10/18/10] "Charges have been filed in the death of an off duty Baltimore police detective killed during an argument over a parking space, authorities said. [...]"  

Cops: South Georgia man had sex with dog [10/18/10] "A south Georgia man accused of having sex with a dog remained in jail Sunday night, five days after his arrest, a sheriff's office spokesman told the AJC. Henry Gene Ivey, 39, has been charged with bestiality and burglary after he allegedly broke into a mobile home and had sex with the animal, the Colquitt County Sheriff's Office said. Neighbors reported seeing Ivey walking two dogs just before 8 p.m. Monday, police said. Ivey allegedly took one of the dogs into the mobile home, and neighbors heard loud noises coming from the trailer, according to the report. The first deputy at the scene went into the trailer and found Ivey having sex with the dog, police said. Witnesses said the dog involved was a black mutt about the size of a Labrador retriever. Ivey is being held on $20,000 bond. [...]"   

"Herd of mountain goats casually climb near-vertical 160ft dam" [10/16/10] "At first look you could be forgiven for thinking this photo of the Cingino dam in the Italian Alps is unremarkable, but for the feat of civil engineering it represents. However, look a bit closer and you might feel like a bit of a silly billy for not realising those specks on its sheer 160ft face are something altogether more amazing. These incredible pictures show Alpine Ibex goats wandering across the face of the near-vertical dam in Northern Italy without a care in the world.  The gravity-defying goats typically live in very steep and rocky terrain at altitudes of up to to 4,600m and have no fear of falling whether climbing up or down the 160ft dam wall. And they aren't doing it just to show off. It is thought the goats are actually grazing, licking the stones for their salts.[...]"  Video clip included. 

Man stuffs eight steaks in his pants and flees store [10/16/10] "The big-crotched thief's car struck another vehicle in the store parking lot, and employee was able to get his license number. (The Oklahoman) [...]"   

SI man allegedly hacked mom as she tried to grab phone [10/15/10] "The Staten Island man who fled to Israel after allegedly stabbing his parents to death was arrested early today in Tel Aviv as The Post learned shocking new details of the brutal slayings. [...]"  

Manhattan widow wants to extract husband's sperm [10/16/10] "A Manhattan woman is looking for a court order allowing sperm to be extracted from her dead husband.Victoria Chege said her husband George Kamau "died suddenly at the age of 37 on October 11, 2010  [...]"   

Cops bust teens' huge party at mansion, arrest "oblivious" parents [10/13/10] "Police said there were about 500 kids at the homecoming party, and four of them were vomiting on the lawn when officers arrived. The adult party hosts pleaded ignorance, and said they were in their room all the time. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel) [...]"   

Mom allegedly faked son's cancer [10/13/10] "A Michigan judge ordered a competency evaluation Wednesday for a woman accused of pretending her son had cancer and denied her visits from the boy. [...]"  

"Man with kid-porn images on computer loses haunted house job" [10/13/10] "A judge asked 19-year-old Adam Kyle Burk what job he performs at the haunted house. "I scare people," he said. She promptly ordered Burk to call his employer and tell them he can "never work there again." Investigators say they found 14,000-plus child porn images on his computer. (Detroit News) [...]"   

Investigator in Missing Jet Skier Case Beheaded [10/13/10] "A Mexican police commander investigating the disappearance of an American tourist on a border lake plagued by pirates was killed, U.S. and Mexican officials said Tuesday. The San Antonio Express-News is reporting that Rolando Flores' head was delivered to the Mexican military in a suitcase. Flores, the commander of state investigators in Ciudad Miguel Aleman who was part of a group investigating the reported shooting of David Hartley, was killed, said Ruben Rios, spokesman for the Tamaulipas state prosecutor's office. U.S. officials have said threats from drug gangs who control the area around Falcon Lake have hampered the search for Hartley.  [...]"   

Slapped teen girl dies post coma [10/12/10] "Montreal police say a 13-year-old girl who was injured and fell into a coma after being slapped by her elderly father has died. The man, whose name has not been released, was arrested for aggravated assault and held since the Wednesday incident. He could face a more serious charge when he appears in court Tuesday, Postmedia News reported Monday.  [...]"   

"Man stabbed for refusing roommates’ request to suck his blood" [10/12/10] "Maley told cops that Homer and Amanda Williamson, 21, “were into vampire stuff and paganism,” and that “he had allowed them to suck his blood one time, but did not want them to suck his blood anymore.” [...]"    

Man finds sweaty, mud-soaked stranger in his bathtub [10/11/10] "The intruder was wearing homeowner Dustin Haas's University of Oregon Ducks football jersey. He reached for his wallet, pulled out a $100 bill, and offered it to Haas to keep him from calling police. (Oregonian) [...]"   

NYPD: 7 Gang Members Brutally Tortured Gay Recruit [10/09/10] "Members of a street gang who discovered one of their teenage recruits was gay brutally beat and tortured him and two other people in gruesome assaults, police said. The attack came amid heightened attention nationwide to anti-gay bullying after a string of suicides attributed to it last month. The first victim, a 17-year-old potential recruit for the Latin King Goonies street gang, was grabbed by gang members and taken to an empty Bronx apartment they used for parties and sex, police said. The teen was stripped, beaten and sodomized with a wooden plunger handle, police said. The attackers, apparently angry he was gay, yelled anti-gay insults and questioned him about his contact with a 30-year-old man, police said. [...]"  Note: Animals in human bodies, raised by wolves, in effect. So insecure and infantile ... they deserve to be imprisoned away from the rest of the population.  Related:  Eighth arrested in Bronx gay-bash, torture  

Bride and groom's parents fight in court after marriage goes bust [10/09/10] "It lasted just a year. The father of the groom claims he loaned $4,000 to the bride's dad, but it was never repaid. The bride's dad says the fight is really about the split-up. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel) [...]"  Fathers-in-law go to court over $4,000  "A Florida judge ordered a man to repay $4,000 loaned to him by the father of his daughter's ex-husband. [...]" 

Angry Man Smashes Into Elevator, Plunges Down Shaft [10/09/10] [0:51] Extended version "Take a breath. Don't mess with slow elevators. A Korean man in a motorized scooter became enraged when he just missed an elevator. He then angrily smashed into the closed doors—twice—before plunging through the panels, and down the shaft  " Note: Some people really have a date with destiny in a large way.From analyzing the tape, I would say he fell about 18-20 feet or so.

Staten Island woman suffers broken bones after plunging from eighth-floor window [10/09/10] "A 19-year-old woman plunged out an eighth-floor window this morning while desperately trying to flee police, officials said. The woman, who suffered multiple broken bones, was taken to Richmond University... [...]" 

'Happiness preacher' in suicide pact [10/09/10] "A popular Korean television personality known as the "preacher of happiness" and her husband were found dead in a motel room, authorities said. [...]"   

Police say Willow Grove woman, 26, lied about cancer to fund social life [10/07/10] "To subsidize her social life, an unemployed Willow Grove woman faked cancer and brazenly tried to take advantage of Breast Cancer Awareness Month by planning a benefit in her own honor, police said. [...]"  Note:  Sequentials are experts at this kind of thing.

Female trucker arrested for bashing 'jesus' display with crowbar [10/07/10] "How could anyone desecrate my lord?" she said after the attack. Part of the painting she targeted shows a man who appears to be 'jesus' engaging in a sex act with another man. (Coloradoan.com) [...]"  

"22% See Palin as Capable President" [10/07/10] "Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin warms up the crowd prior to the appearance of political commentator Glenn Beck in Anchorage, Alaska Saturday, Sept. 11, 2010. [...]"  Note: The same 22% who should donate themselves as an offering to cannibals? These people are dumb as a stone.

"Malaysia monkey drops baby to death" [10/07/10] "A four-day-old girl dies in Malaysia after being snatched from her home by a monkey and dropped from a roof, reports say. [...]"  Note:  Back to nature the minion spirit goes .... sigh.

Cop defends helicopter search for man who stole Droid phone [10/07/10] "Three law enforcement agencies were involved in the hunt. "The threat to public safety would be an unknown person jumping through citizens' backyards," says a cop. (San Jose Mercury News) [...]"   

People rush to grab bills that fell off armored car during rush hour [10/07/10] ""People were stopping their cars, picking up loads of cash and driving away," says one witness. "People ran into the street and grabbed armloads, paying no attention to traffic." (Indianapolis St [...]"   

UK:  Man joined officer in kidnap plot [10/07/10] "A man is found guilty of plotting with a police constable to kidnap a bank manager from his home. [...]"   

Woman charged with paying 9-year-old boy a buck for his urine [10/07/10] "The 51-year-old woman needed "clear pee" -- apparently that's how she described it to the boy -- to pass a drug test for a new job. (Chicago Sun-Times [...]" 

Man shoots teen for refusing to pull up his saggy pants [10/07/10] "The 45-year-old suspect began yelling at two youths, ages 16 and 17, about pulling up their pants as the teens walked down the street. He then got out his gun and shot the older guy as he ran away. (Memphis Commercial Appeal) [...]"  

Man dons mask, spends weekends looking for suspicious activity [10/07/10] "This Guardian Angel-wannabe calls himself the Watchman; he claims his disguise protects his family (although I think I'd recognize him without it). "I'm the one who decided to do this, not them," he says. "They should not have to suffer for it." (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]"  

Woman Injured While 'Resting in the Spirit' [10/07/10] "A woman says she suffered traumatic brain injuries and lost her sense of smell and taste after falling over backwards while "resting in the spirit" at a Catholic Charismatic Revival healing service. She sued the Hartford Diocese in Superior Court. [...]"  Note:  Idiot.

Woman 'Cheats Death' In Dramatic Crash [10/07/10] "A Brazilian woman has escaped with only minor injuries after she was tossed 20 metres into the air by a speeding car. [...]"  Note:  Higher Self intervention is what it was.

Man accidentally shoots himself in face while dealing with skunk [10/06/10] "The victim was at a friend’s house when he saw the skunk and grabbed a .22-caliber rifle, the report said.  He then placed the butt end of the rifle on the ground as he loaded it with one hand on the barrel, according to the report. The victim did not know there was already a round in the camber. As he loaded the weapon, the victim hit the trigger, firing off one round that went through the fingers on his right hand and then through his left cheek. The bullet did not exit his cheek. The wounds did not appear to be life threatening and the victim was alert when authorities arrived on scene, the report said. No charges are pending in this case.  (Bradenton Herald) [...]"  Note:  Next time, just toss something at the animal and forget about the gun.

Two Philadelphia cops arrested in undercover drug sting [10/06/10] "Two Philadelphia police officers have been arrested and charged with robbing an undercover investigator posing as a drug dealer, authorities said today.  The arrests come just months after three other officers were snared in a federal sting and charged with stealing herion from a drug dealer. One of those officers also was from the 25th District, which covers drug-infested areas of North Philadelphia and Kensington. [...]"  

Woman crosses state line to kill man for posting nasty comments [10/06/10] "The Kansas City, Mo. woman drove to Ottumwa, Iowa for the hit, which never took place. (AP via Des Moines Register) [...]" 

Q&A: Discoverer of Dead Gay Duck Sex [10/06/10] "Before he won an Ig Nobel Prize in 2003 for his study,"The First Case of Homosexual Necrophilia in the Mallard Anas Platyrhynchos," Dutch biologist Kees Moeliker had never heard of the awards. The prizes, given out each year at a boisterous ceremony attended by real Nobel laureates, honor scientific discoveries that "first make people laugh, and then make them think," according to the Ig Nobel organization. Now, Moeliker has become something of a specialist on wacky duck doings, in between his work as curator at the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam. He's also a regular at the annual Ig Nobel ceremonies at Harvard University.  [...]"   

"Fla. Man Denies Cocaine Found in Buttocks is His" [10/05/10] "When sheriff's deputies allegedly discovered a bags of marijuana and cocaine between a man's buttocks, they say he gave a quick explanation.  Manatee County deputies say Raymond Stanley Roberts told them "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is." Deputies stopped the 25-year-old Wednesday in Bradenton for speeding. Officers say they smelled marijuana and searched him. That's when they allegedly found a bag of marijuana between Roberts' buttocks.  Officers then discovered another bag in there; the report says it contained 27 pieces of rock cocaine. [...]"  Note:  Perhaps his ass is a community storage area.

Briton, 91, and his 82-year-old wife ordered off QM2 cruise ship after expletive-ridden row over 'anti-Semitic' remarks [10/05/10] "The row erupted during dinner when another passenger at the formal dinner was said to have remarked: ‘There are too many Jews on board’. Miss Sher, who is Jewish, was appalled and apparently said back: ‘Fuck you!’ and ‘How dare you insult me!’ before storming off to her stateroom. Other passengers gave a different side to the story. They said Miss Sher had been cantankerous during the journey and that on another night on the cruise she flew into a rage because a piano lounge was closed. The couple claim they should be given far more regal treatment because of their connections. [...]"  Note:  Too bad they didn't push her overboard. People don't like to be fucked with by some drunken old passenger with a superiority problem who thinks she's in a 'Truman Show'.

Teacher ranked "less effective" by the Los Angeles Times takes his own life [10/03/10] "The body of Rigoberto Ruelas, Jr., an elementary school teacher from an impoverished suburb of Los Angeles, was found far below a remote forest bridge on Sunday. It appears that Ruelas intentionally leapt to his death not long after he was labeled a "less effective teacher" by the Los Angeles Times. On Wednesday, hundreds of people attended funeral services for Ruelas. Former colleagues and students spoke of Ruelas as an excellent teacher who went above and beyond what was required. Ruelas, 39, worked at Miramonte Elementary, a school where each day of teaching requires a certain degree of heroism. The school is located in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Los Angeles, an area is plagued by violence, drug addiction, and the presence of criminal gangs. The challenges and dangers facing young people, as well as those who teach them, are immense. Ruelas had worked at Miramonte Elementary School all his life. After growing up in the neighborhood, Ruelas joined the school as a teacher's aide at age 22 and began teaching four years later. He lived only a few blocks from the school. His former students recall his teaching as passionate, tireless, and selfless. Ruelas often stayed after hours at school to tutor students individually and to counsel them in their personal lives. Since his death, many former students have come forward to describe Ruelas as a mentor who always gave good advice and worked to keep them out of gangs. [...]"  

"Student's brain in a jar horrifies classmates" [10/03/10] "Parents from New York are suing the city after their dead son's classmates discovered his brain on display at a city morgue. Andre and Korisha Shipley lost their son in a car accident in 2005.  [...]"  

Father torches house, shoots kids [10/03/10] "In the spring, Alfred "AJ" Moton wore a lime green bow tie and vest to match his prom date's colorful dress and the former choir boy flashed a wide, sparkling smile for every camera. The .. [...]"     

Armed and 'drunk' off-duty corrections officer shot by cops [10/03/10] "A drunk off-duty corrections officer openly carrying his service weapon was shot in the arm by police early this morning after he refused to drop his gun, police said. Plainclothes cops fired at Rikers... [...]"     

Sleeping Passengers Die In Train Collision [10/03/10] "At least 36 people have died and dozens more have been injured after a night train ploughed into parked carriages at a railway station in central Indonesia. [...]"  

"Blind man bowls a perfect game — and it's not a fluke" [10/03/10] "The league-night chorus of smashing pins diminished as other bowlers joined the crowd behind Morris resident Ron Gooch, who couldn't see the last 10 pins that separated him from the perfect game he'd spent 46 years chasing. ... [...]"  Note: How about putting a black scarf around his eyes and letting him try it then. You can see see light and images and be classified within the spectrum of being 'legally blind'. 

Store manager admits to stealing $60,000 in lottery tickets [10/02/10] "The man told police that he father was suffering from prostate cancer, putting him into heavy debt, and that he "did something stupid." (Palm Beach Post) [...]"   

"Toke Me Elmo: Dad Stashes Pot in Son's Elmo Pack" [10/02/10] "A western Pennsylvania father will spend six months to two years in jail after pleading guilty to hiding his marijuana stash in his son's Elmo backpack, which the boy mistakenly took to school with the drugs still in it. Thirty-three-year-old Ronald Washington, of Uniontown, pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of children and marijuana possession charges Thursday. A Fayette County judge will sentence Washington next week to the time specified in the plea agreement. Police say Washington called the school where his son attended kindergarten in April and told officials he needed to get something from the Sesame Street-themed backpack. That prompted school officials to search the bag and call police when they found more than three ounces of pot.  [...]"  

Drunk man drove drunk woman to police [10/01/10] "Police in Michigan said they arrested a man who was allegedly drunk when he drove an intoxicated woman to the police station for questioning. [...]"   

 Woman who shot boy hailed as hero [10/01/10] "A 68-year-old Chicago woman who shot a boy who harassed her for more than a year was praised by neighbors as a hero. Matthews told police she had been harassed for more than a year by a pair of boys -- including Tuesday, when they stood on a shed in her front yard and threw bricks at her. Her shot hit the 12-year-old in the shoulder. He was treated at a hospital and released. "The young man hit me in the chest with a brick," Matthews told the Chicago Tribune. "After a year of harassment, that was the straw that broke the camel's back." The boy and his 13-year-old companion were charged with aggravated assault. Matthews will not be charged, police said. [...]"  

New Zealand:  Prolific dad jailed over $723k child support bill [10/01/10] "A US man accused of fathering 23 children with 14 women has been sent to prison for at least two years for failing to pay tens of thousands of dollars in child support. "Animals procreate. Human beings are supposed to nurture their children," Kent County Circuit Judge Dennis Leiber said in Michigan. Howard Veal, 44, of Muskegon, owes more than US$533,000 ($723,000) in child support, according to the state attorney general's office. He pleaded guilty in July to owing more than US$60,000 to a Grand Rapids woman. [...]"   

Martial arts teacher stabbed by ex-con during argument over dogs [10/01/10] "A martial arts instructor turned bartender was stabbed to death last night by an ex-con after the two argued over their dogs outside a Brooklyn bar, police and witnesses said.  [...]"  

UK:  Head guilty over school roof fall [09/30/10] "A head teacher who took pupils who had been drinking on to a school roof is convicted of failing to ensure their safety after one fell through a skylight. [...] Judge Nigel Gilmour QC said: "This was a moment of folly."  Note:  Get students drunk and take them up on the roof ... idiotic twit ...

Restaurants' used grease a hot item for thieves [09/30/10] "North Bergen, N.J ., last week, hooked a hose to a tank outside the restaurant and began stealthily siphoning 700 gallons of used cooking oil into a container in their van, police say. [...]"  

Students Charged for Sex Tape Linked to Suicide [09/30/10] "A New Jersey college student jumped to his death off a bridge a day after authorities say two classmates surreptitiously recorded him having sex with a man in his dorm room and broadcast it over the Internet. Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi jumped from the George Washington Bridge last week, said his family's attorney, [...]"   

Eye-Roll:  Sarah Murdoch, daughter of Rupert Murdoch, announces wrong winner "Next Top Model" show [09/30/10] "During the season finale of “Australia’s Next Top Model,” host Sarah Murdoch, daughter of Rupert Murdoch, announced the wrong winner.(Nightly News) "  Note: A chip off the old block, she is. 

Australian tower jumper killed [09/29/10] "Marion Tantikey, 42, was doing a practice jump at the 165 metre-high Alor Setar Tower in northern Malaysia when the accident happened, the official Bernama news agency said, citing witnesses who said she fell straight to the ground. “Although her parachute failed to open, I did not hear her scream or shout for help,” said 41-year-old Zaidi Zainal Abidin who had gone to watch the base-jumpers. [...]"  Note:  Well, what's the point?

Motorist fractures traffic agent's skull after summons [09/29/10] "An unhinged motorist viciously attacked a traffic agent in The Bronx today. [...]" 

UK:  Pint of vodka 'prank' killed man [09/29/10] "A man died after downing a pint of vodka in four seconds, an inquest hears. [...]"  

Man injured after air conditioner falls from window [09/28/10] "An air conditioner fell from a sixth floor window of an East Village apartment building around 8:30 a.m., bouncing off of a restaurant awning and a sidewalk café chair before slamming into a pedestrian, witnesses said. Anthony Franzese, 67, had just left his apartment at 65 Second Avenue when he was hit by the air conditioner. He was taken to Bellevue Hospital to be treated for his injuries, sources said.  [...]"  Note:  This guys life is a clusterfuck.

Tarantino film editor dies on hike in LA hills [09/28/10] "Oscar-nominated film editor Sally JoAnne Menke was found dead Tuesday along a Hollywood Hills trail where she went hiking during a record Southern California heat wave. [...]"   

Man, 83, pulls gun on would-be robber in restaurant parking lot [09/28/10] "The Clearwater senior citizen has carried his gun around for 10 or 15 years. "Now my secret's out," he says after confronting the would-be robber. "It needs to be a surprise." (St. Petersburg Times) [...]"  

Man covers himself with white latex paint 'to avoid being Tased' [09/28/10] "You see all this water-based paint?" the 34-year-old man told two police officers with Tasers drawn. "You shoot me with that and you'll kill me." They went ahead and Tased him anyway -- and he survived. (WyomingNews.com) [...]"   

Chrysler workers fired over lunch beer drinking report [09/28/10] "Chrysler Group Monday fired 13 workers at the same auto plant visited by President Barack Obama this summer, after a local television station report showed some of them drinking on their lunch break... [...]"  Related:  Busted UAW Chrysler Workers Caught Getting 'Wrecked' During Work Day [09/26/10]  Video clip [8:14] Note: These guys are oblivious to the possibility that they'll ever be discovered ... until it happens ... 

Hospital-bill hell bedevils disabled man [09/27/10] "A few mixed-up numbers, hidden somewhere in a matrix of medical records, keep Joseph Sansone awake at night in his South Philly home. Sansone, 63, recently retired from the school district to help his wife care for his 39-year-old son, Michael Sansone, who is "profoundly disabled" due to an incurable hereditary disease. Sansone worries about dying, afraid he'll leave his son behind, incapable of dealing with the years of medical billing errors and red tape that he claims Thomas Jefferson University Hospital has acknowledged, but never fully ironed out. [...]"   

Man killed by tow truck after argument [09/27/10] "A tow truck driver was killed early Sunday in Philadelphia's Kensington section after he was struck by another tow truck operated by a driver with whom he had argued, police said. The men had been arguing about a woman and towing territory, police said.  [...] 

Millionaire Segway owner dies in cliff fall [09/27/10] "The British millionaire businessman who owns the firm Segway has been found dead at the bottom of a cliff with one of the two-wheeled electric scooters near his body, police said on Monday. Jimi Heselden, 62, who bought the U.S.-based firm, and who was also chairman of Hesco Bastion, was discovered in a river near Leeds, northern England, on Sunday. The incident, described as a freak accident in the media, was not being treated as suspicious. A Segway was found near his body, a police spokeswoman said. "It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Jimi Heselden has died in a tragic accident near his home in West Yorkshire," Hesco Bastion said in a statement. Invented by Dean Kamen, the self-balancing Segway scooter was made famous by then U.S. President George W. Bush when he took one for a spin, only to jump off after losing control.  Heselden, a former miner who left school at the age of 15, became a wealthy businessman, donating millions of pounds to charity. This month, he gave 10 million pounds ($16 million) to a community project which helps disadvantaged areas. He made his fortune with Leeds-based Hesco Bastion, which developed a flat-pack wire mesh "blast wall" container, replacing the traditional sandbags, used by British and coalition troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. Media reports said Heselden was one of Britain's richest men, with a fortune put at 166 million pounds ($260 million)." Related:  Millionaire with Defense Industry Ties to British and American Militaries Found Dead  "The former miner made his millions from defence contracts. He created a unique portable wire cage water containment system which when filled with earth and sand proved a major defence against bullets, missiles and suicide attacks. His founded his first company HESCO Bastions with his redundancy pay when he was laid off from the mines. The wire cage systems developed by Bastions have become standard military equipment for Nato as well as American and British forces. [...]"   

"Pro-life campaigner: Term ‘fertilized egg’ is like using ‘N-word’" [09/26/10] "'Personhood amendment' campaigners had previously compared embryos to slaves Using the term "fertilized egg" is "the same thing as using the N-word," says the pro-life minister behind a Colorado campaign to have fertilized eggs declared legal persons. Colorado's Amendment 62, which will appear on the ballot this November, is the second attempt by pro-life groups [...]"  Note: Here's some evidence that the 'embryo' is not a person that they would comprehend, if they weren't stupid: The Twins Who Share a Body [09/24/10] Video clip [45:38]

Chrysler workers fired over lunch beer drinking report [09/28/10] "Chrysler Group Monday fired 13 workers at the same auto plant visited by President Barack Obama this summer, after a local television station report showed some of them drinking on their lunch break... [...]"  Related:  

School defends suspension of 5th-grade boy who had a lighter [09/26/10] "The 11-year-old's father was told this his son was suspended for bringing "a weapon to the school." The dad says: "I said, 'Since when is a lighter a weapon? They kept saying a lighter is a weapon." (Asbury Park Press) [...]"  Note:  "Zero tolerance" policies are often just an excuse for the inability to deal with context and situation in the case of normal life.

UK: Supermarket refuses to sell bottle of wine to father... because he has no ID for his eight-year-old daughter [09/25/10] "A father who went shopping with his daughter claims checkout staff refused to sell him a bottle of wine because he had no ID for the eight-year-old.  Navid Asadi, 28, says he was asked for identification as he arrived at the till with Leyla at the Tesco Express store in Leigh, Essex.  Despite explaining his daughter was only eight, he claims shop workers refused to sell him the alcohol and said the store later confirmed their decision was company policy. Mr Asadi, who had popped into the shop to buy groceries, said: 'I just can't believe it. 'I totally understand if you are 18 and with a group of kids but my daughter is eight.   [...]"  Note:  "Zero tolerance" policies are often just an excuse for the inability to deal with context and situation in the case of normal life.

UK: Hiding 'Shoplifter' Crushed In Bin Lorry [09/25/10] "A shoplifting suspect is in hospital in a critical condition after he was crushed while hiding in a rubbish truck. James Brienzo fled from police after he was spotted leaving a Walmart store in Alliance, Ohio, through a fire exit with a trolley full of goods. The 37-year-old hid in a rubbish bin outside the shop, and waited for officers to leave the area. But workers arrived to pick up the store's rubbish and the bin was emptied into a truck. The lorry was taken back to the depot, and Brienzo fell out of the truck head-first with the rubbish. "He was in a lot of pain," said a police spokesman at the scene. "He had been compacted several times. He was just begging us to empty the truck." The spokesman said Brienzo suffered serious injuries and is being treated in the Metro Health Medical Centre in Cleveland. The suspect is expected to be charged with shoplifting after he recovers. [...]"   

British woman, 80, dies after falling into gang's manhole trap [09/25/10] "An 80-year-old British woman died after a gang of youths removed a manhole cover from her driveway and she plunged into the hole in darkness. Jenny Ward, from Blackpool, northern England, was harassed .. [...]"  

PA: Lancaster toddler drowns in fish pond near home [09/25/10] "Police say a 2-year-old eastern Pennsylvania girl snuck out of the house with her 4-year-old brother in the middle of the night and drowned while looking for fish in a neighbor's pond.  [...]"   

Skydiving love triangle ended in murder [09/24/10] "A female skydiver goes on trial today accused of the mid-air murder of her close friend and alleged love rival. Els Van Doren, 37, fell to her death after her parachute failed to open during a dive, ... [...]"    

Man arrested after onlookers see him fighting with his pet parrot [09/24/10] "Three people who saw the bird-man confrontation called 911. Officers caught up with the man and saw him shaking the parrot as it was "squawking loudly" and its feathers were "flying all over." (AnnArbor.com) [...]"   

"N.Y. proctologist charged with fraud" [09/23/10] "A New York proctologist has been arrested on Medicare fraud charges, accused of defrauding the government of $3.5 million in phony billing, authorities said. [...]"  Note:  Somehow, I can see a more amusing headline which describes the situation colorfully .... 

Drug case dissolves with arrest of officers [09/23/10] "The circumstances of Eugene Lopez's 2007 arrest on the streets of Germantown seemed clear-cut: As Philadelphia Police Officer Mark Williams watched from his cruiser, Lopez tossed a package [...]"  

Cop investigated for fake arrest of boy [09/23/10] "San Jose, Calif., prosecutors say they are investigating an officer who allegedly handcuffed his daughter's boyfriend and pretended to arrest him. [...]"     

"Baptist leader says christians should stay away from yoga" [09/22/10] "Believers are called to meditate upon the word of god," he says, "[and] not to meditate by means of incomprehensible syllables." A Louisville yoga teacher calls the preacher's stance "an ignorant statement, based on fear." Louisville Courier-Journal) [...]"  Note:  Boy. Incomprehensible symbols. Delusion. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

Spanish man toted girlfriend’s decapitated head to bar for drinks [09/22/10] "A Spanish man calmly drank beer with his mates in a bar with his murdered girlfriend's head in a bag, according to newspaper reports. After leaving the bar on Sunday, the 34-year-old climbed an electrical tower, was hit by a shock and plunged 30 metres to the ground, dying that evening in hospital. According to a report in the ABC daily newspaper, citing witnesses, the man told friends in the bar in Cordoba, southern Spain, that he had decapitated his 30-year-old partner. But he was so calm they did not believe him, despite bloodstains on his shirt. "A while later when several customers left the bar and saw a pool of blood in the road, they immediately realised this was not a macabre joke. Horrified, they discovered a bag near the bar, inside of which was the victim's head," the ABC daily said. [...]"    

MI: Man allegedly urinated on police station [09/21/10] "Police in suburban Detroit said they issued a citation to a man who allegedly urinated on a police station before going inside to file a report. [...]" 

Man claims caffeine insanity after being accused of strangling wife [09/21/10] "The murder suspect was drinking five or six soft drinks and energy drinks a day, along with taking diet pills; it all added up to more than 400 milligrams of caffeine a day. ...  "We referred to it as a temporary insanity defense," Moorer said. "If you sat down and talked with him now, you'd think he's as normal as you and I." (Associated Press) [...]"  

Man, 71, fights off intruder with Swiffer WetJet and Dustbuster [09/21/10] "I hit him with the end of the pole where the Swiffer was and I just told him, 'You better get out of my house you sorry S.O.B., before I kill you,'" says Phillip Graham. (GoUpstate.com) [...]"  

Driver hits two people to get to parking spot he really wants [09/21/10] "A man holding his 3-year-old son landed on the roof of the guy's Mustang. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) [...]"  

Dozens Die As Two Trains Crash In India [09/21/10] "Reports said a freight train smashed into a passenger service that was waiting near Badarwas station, about 160 miles north of Bhopal, the capital of Madhya Pradesh state. With a 39,350-mile network, the railways play a key role in India, transporting more than 18 million passengers and about two million tons of freight daily. But the system is plagued by overcrowding and outdated technology, like signaling systems. In July, at least 60 people were killed in eastern India after one service crashed into another waiting at a station in eastern West Bengal state. In May, nearly 150 people died when a Mumbai-bound high-speed passenger express from Kolkata veered off the tracks into the path of an oncoming freight train. The worst accident in India was in 1981 when a train plunged into a river in the eastern state of Bihar, killing an estimated 800 people. [...]"   

First quadruple amputee swims English Channel [09/20/10] "After more than twelve hours in the water, Philippe Croizon reached land, and as he emerged, the significance of what he had just accomplished became obvious to all. NBC’s Nina dos Santos reports. (Nightly News) [...]" 

Blind woman sues Canada over Web access [09/19/10] "A blind woman says she is suing the Canadian government because she is unable to apply online for a government job. [...]"  Note:  She can have someone type in the information for her. Computers are visual tools. If she's blind, she can't expect to win this.  

Satire: "Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit" [09/18/10] "Following an Aug. 28 rally in Washington, D.C. attended by an estimated 87,000 Americans, experts confirmed this week that the U.S. populace appears to have fallen under the spell of yet another pink-faced half-wit. The most recent pink-faced halfwit has reportedly captured the popular imagination through the conventional vehicles of a nationally syndicated talk-radio program and a cable news television show. According to media analyst Rebecca Ellington, the pink-faced half-wit has mesmerized the nation by spewing out hundreds of predictably reactionary and emotion≠ally manipulative on-air diatribes. "This particular pink-faced half-wit is at the height of his persuasive powers," Ellington said of the bloated, hateful multimillionaire. "By exploiting citizens' greatest anxieties during an uncertain time in our nation's history, the pink-faced half-wit has been able to promote his own vain, avaricious self-interests under the guise of standing up for the very disenfranchised people whom he himself is fleecing.""I've seen a number of pink-faced half-wits during my career, and in the pantheon of bombastic demagogues, this one will surely be remembered as one of the most disgusting," Ellington continued. "It's truly extraordinary: He may well be too ambitious and narcissistic to be able to comprehend how much damage he is doing to our country." According to scholars, pink-faced half-wits have had remarkable staying power throughout history despite their outlandish, easily debunked claims, shameless self-promotion, and complete lack of credentials. More often than not, experts said, these pasty, shallow dullards skillfully manage to control debate on the most important social and political topics of the day. [...]"  

Satire: "Archaeologists Unearth Lousiest Civilization Ever" [09/18/10] "Archaeologists working in a remote section of the Amazon Rainforest announced Tuesday that they have discovered the ancient remnants of what they claimed may be the lousiest civilization in human history.  According to Dr. Ronald Farber, a professor from the University of Minnesota who is leading the excavation, the "half-assed" culture existed from about 450 B.C. until 220 B.C., when it abruptly disappeared—an event he said was "honestly no big loss" for our understanding of human culture.  "From what we've unearthed so far, it appears this pre-Columbian civilization was pretty much just copying what other, more superior groups nearby were doing—albeit to a much shittier degree," Farber said. "They sucked. You should see the useless mess of a calendar these dumbasses came up with."  "Uh, hello?" he added. "Did these nimrods even try observing and recording the positions of the constellations in the sky right above their freaking heads? Explaining that the site is of absolutely no consequence to archaeological scholarship, Farber told reporters the civilization's extensive aqueduct system was so hilariously inefficient its inhabitants were practically drinking mud. "And look at these piece of shit pipes they played music on," said Farber, " [...]"    'What A Bunch Of Losers,' Researchers Say.

Missing son sees himself in paper, turns in dad [09/18/10] "A Texas mother's 17-year-long search for her son who authorities say was taken by his father is over after the grown-up son apparently saw a newspaper story about himself and persuaded his dad to turn himself in.  [...]"   

 Satire: Afghan Mineral Deposits Could Completely Revolutionize Nation's System Of Corruption  [09/18/10] "According to a new State Department report, Afghanistan's more than $900 billion worth of untapped iron, copper, lithium, and other minerals could transform the nation from a graft-laden backwater into a modern, 21st-century hub of corruption. "Afghanistan's crooked political system currently relies solely on the small-time bribes of opium peddlers, but these highly sought-after natural resources could usher in a bright new era of illegitimate government maneuvering," said M. Farhan Sajadi, associate professor of Central Asian Studies at Hofstra University. "Officials will soon be able to embezzle, extort, and receive under-the-table kickbacks from major international conglomerates on a scale that would have been unimaginable just a few years ago. This is a major leap forward for Afghan kleptocracy." Responding to concerns that the nation's future mining profits would enrich only a handful of elite powerbrokers in Kabul, President Hamid Karzai vowed that he would do everything in his power to fairly distribute the wealth to even the most distant members of his family [...]"   

Pa. hunter dies in fall from tree stand [09/18/10] "Fifty-five-year-old Paul Joseph Kemper Jr. of York, Pa. was bow hunting deer Thursday night when he fell from his tree stand, which was 25 feet off the ground.  Kemper was found by a hunting companion. Kemper had an unattached safety harness near him. The accident is under investigation. Natural Resources Police say half of the hunting accident they've investigated involve tree stands. Officials urge hunters to practice manufacturers' recommendations before using any climbing equipment and to use a full body harness when using a tree stand. [...]"   

Satire: Restoration of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses [09/18/10]  Video clip [2:37]  

"Crazy Christian Camp For Children" [09/17/10]  [9:36] "This is Jesus Camp and its a documentary made in 2006. [...]  Note: Talk about railroading individuality.

DWI suspect tells cops she wants to be read her "Amanda Rights" [09/16/10] "A 38-year-old Orland Park motorist is scheduled to appear in Cook County court Oct. 26 on a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol after allegedly mistaking part of her field sobriety test for a fashion show.  Orland Park Police said Sheryl A. Urzedowski of the 14700 block of Park Lane seemed to believe she was supposed to walk as though she was a model, during her 2 a.m. Sept. 9 sobriety test at the intersection of 159th Street and Wolf Road. "She walked up and down the line with hands on her hips three additional times," police wrote in the incident report. The runway run-through allegedly occurred after Urzedowski offered to perform a gymnastics maneuver, police said. Urzedowski, who allegedly made a left turn at a red light, is also charged with disregarding a traffic control device, driving 26-30 mph over the posted speed limit, following too close to another vehicle and improper lane usage. She also pleaded with the arresting officer to read her “the Amanda rights," the report said. [...]"  

Cop who slept with chief's wife is awarded unemployment benefits [09/15/10] "A Fort Madison police officer who was fired for having an affair with the chief's wife is entitled to unemployment benefits, a state judge has ruled. Patrol Officer William Bowker was serving on the Lee County Narcotics Task Force in 2008 when he committed several admitted policy violations. State records related to Bowker's recent request for unemployment benefits indicate that while assigned to the task force he was twice photographed by colleagues while sleeping on duty, consumed alcohol while on call, refused to attend a class about search warrants and complained that another class conflicted with his plans for a Super Bowl party. As a result, Bowker was removed from the task force in early 2009, but he faced no discipline from the Fort Madison Police Department, where he remained on staff.  In the spring of 2009, Bowker allegedly initiated an extramarital affair with Reserve Officer Christine Niggemeyer, the wife of Police Chief Bruce Niggemeyer. Another officer in the department reported the matter to the chief in June 2009, but when questioned by the chief, Bowker allegedly denied the affair. The city manager then instructed two of the city's 18 police officers to investigate the matter. After conducting surveillance of Bowker and collecting video of Bowker and Christine Niggemeyer hugging and kissing, the officers confirmed the affair. The city then began investigating Bowker's 2008 conduct on the task force. In February 2009, the city manager fired Bowker, citing the affair and Bowker's actions with the task force as evidence of misconduct. In June, the firing was upheld by the city's Civil Service Commission, although Bowker is currently appealing that decision in Iowa district court. At a recent public hearing on Bowker's request for unemployment benefits, Bowker admitted to the affair with the chief's wife. He also testified that he slept about two times a week while on duty inside the office of the Lee County Drug Task Force. [...]"  

6 Brutal Leaders And Their Ridiculous Secret Hobbies  [09/15/10] "Everybody needs a hobby, but people find release in many surprising ways. A mechanic might unwind by knitting, a ballet dancer might take up boxing. But what do you do to unwind after, say, a long day at the genocide factory? Just ask these guys: [...]"   

Congress Drops Funding For Controversial Jet Engine [09/15/10] "Government has spent billions on second engine for Joint Strike Fighter, which already has an engine. [...]"   

Cab Driver of the Month [09/15/10] "A man who tried to do the right thing and called a cab to take him home rather than drive drunk claims that when he found himself $6 short on the fare, the cabdriver beat him senseless with a flashlight [...]"  

Man arrested for using anchored boat as a dumpster [09/15/10] "The boat was found “full of garbage bags full of food product waste" and "a human waste bag was also discovered on the vessel," the affidavit states. (TCPalm.com) [...]"  

Restaurant puts $85 bug plate on menu [09/15/10] "A New York restaurant said it is holding an event for people who want to enjoy a four-course meal consisting entirely of insects. [...]"  

Construction workers accused cutting off man's ponytail [09/15/10] "The victim was unhappy about his ex-girlfriend and her sister staying in a camper with one of the ponytail-cutters. Three men are accused of cutting off the guy's long hair with a knife, and telling him they'd kill him if he tried to stop them. (Fargo Forum) [...]"   

Eye-Roll:  SI swimsuit issue, "hot girls" at Walmart gets man in trouble [09/15/10] "A North Port man was arrested after allegedly committing a lewd act in a toy aisle of the North Port Wal-mart Tuesday evening. William Tyler Black, 28, of the 2000 block of Logsdon Street, faces one count of indecent exposure and one count of battery.  North Port police said Black took a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue to the store's toy section, where he performed a lewd act and left the magazine behind a toy display.  He then reportedly continued shopping as store security called the police.  Black reportedly told officers that he saw several “hot girls” in Wal-mart, prompting the sex act.  He remained in Sarasota County Jail on Wednesday. He is charged with indecent exposure and leaving bodily fluids in a place where a child may come into harmful contact with it, " a form of battery".  Black was a substitute teacher at Imagine School in Lakewood Ranch. According to the school, Black's employment was terminated Wednesday. He had taught a total of three times without incident and had passed background and drug tests before being hired. [...]"     

Feds Spent $800,000 of Economic Stimulus on "African Genital-Washing Program" [09/14/10] "The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a division of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), spent $823,200 of economic stimulus funds in 2009 on a study by a UCLA research team to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex. [...]"  Note: Creating and running a program to accomplish a goal, before you have evidence that it will actually work, shows that it was the money that mattered, not the results. Here, it's wasting $800,000 that could have actually helped people in a measurable way, such as supplying solar arrays for power for villages, or whatever ... solar powered water pumps, etc ... such lack of creative imagination in this conceptually hobbled sequentials, and working with minions is a favorite penchant for making money.

Drunk woman, 29, jailed over naked joyride in taxi [09/14/10] "A St. Clair Shores resident is sitting in a Louisiana jail this week after taking off her clothes and stealing a taxi cab, according to authorities. Jennifer Gille, 29, faces theft and obscenity charges stemming from a bizarre incident early Sunday morning in the city of Covington, north of New Orleans. Gille called for a taxi and accepted a ride to a city address. After arriving, she refused to leave the cab, police said. "The driver said, 'Here you are,' but she wouldn't get out of the car," said Covington Police Capt. Jack West. "She said 'I need to go to Michigan' and began taking her clothes off." The driver responded by driving his cab to the police department. Figuring she was too intoxicated to cause further problems, the driver went inside the station to get help -- leaving the keys inside, police said. When he and officers came back outside, the cab and passenger were gone. A quick search of the area turned up the taxi cab, roughly a block away from the station in a parking lot. "She had crawled into the back seat and was still unclothed," West said. "Officers told her to get out of the car and she refused. [...]"    

Cops: Man Robbed Pharmacy With 'Poison' Syringe [09/14/10] "Plenty of dumb criminals have tried to rob banks with water guns, but Terry Lee Cornwell might be the first man accused of robbing a pharmacy with a water-filled syringe. According to police, Cornwell walked into a Walgreens in Bolingbrook, Ill., on Wednesday and said he would inject a pharmacist with poison if the lab worker didn't cough up prescription pain pills. The pharmacist handed over more than 400 pills of oxycodone, hydrocodone and morphine, TribLocal.com reports. [...]"  Note:  Click on the picture of the guy. It will load a pop-up window where you can click through mugshots of 52 other people who have done some crazy stuff.

Flashback: "The United States Military Doesn’t Kill Anyone" [09/14/10] [1:51]  Note:  "Helen Thomas questions then-Puppet-in-Chief Dumbya Bush’s Press Secretary Dana Perino about the people who have been killed by the U.S. Military in Iraq. Listen (at around 1:00) to what Perino says about the suggestion that the United States Military kills anyone. (Seconds later, like any good doublespeak political lackey, Perino backtracks after the courageous Thomas ignores Perino’s absurd statement and asks her question again.) If someone died in 1976 and woke up almost 31 years later, he would swear that he was watching a Saturday Night Live skit. [...]" 

Berlusconi Jokes About Hitler At Youth Rally [09/14/10] "Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi says young women should follow the money when looking for a partner, noting that women seem to like him and "I'm loaded."  Berlusconi, who was embroiled in a sex scandal last year and is known for his gaffes, also raised eyebrows with a joke about Hitler's followers urging him to return to power.  The billionaire businessman appeared at a convention Sunday of the youth wing of his People of Freedom party. When questioned by one of his Cabinet ministers – a woman – he joked about marriages of convenience, saying women were lining up for him because "I'm a nice guy" and "I'm loaded." He also recalled a much-criticized TV interview he once gave, when "I said to a girl to look for a wealthy boyfriend. This suggestion is not unrealistic." He also claimed women favor older men, thinking that "he's old. He dies and I inherit." The 73-year-old Berlusconi was engulfed in a sex scandal last year centering on his purported dalliances with young women, including an escort. Berlusconi's wife Veronica Lario said last year she was seeking a divorce. They are now separated. Berlusconi, who claims prosecutors have led corruption investigations against him because they are left-wing, also appeared to be poking fun at himself when commenting on the loss of his AC Milan soccer team on Saturday. He contended the referee robbed the team of three goals and that Milan often gets "leftist referees." [...]"  Note:  What a sequential control freak ... reincarnated with all his little predispositions ... and immaturities.

Six dead after US breakfast row [09/12/10] "A man in Kentucky kills himself after shooting dead five people during a row with his wife over how he liked his breakfast. Stanley Neace, 47, went on the killing spree in a trailer park in Jackson, rural Breathitt County, Kentucky.  He chased his wife into a neighbouring trailer where he shot her, her daughter and three witnesses, reports say.  State troopers found Mr Neace dead at the porch of his trailer, slumped over his own gun. Mr Neace flew into a rage when his wife Sandra, 54, brought him some eggs for breakfast, a relative of the neighbours he killed said. Mrs Neace's daughter Sandra Strong, 28, was also killed.  Ms Fugate was shot in front of her seven-year-old daughter, who Mr Neace spared.  "Her daughter said, 'Please, please don't shoot me,' and he said, 'All right, you can leave,' and she ran out," Ms Fugate's sister Sherri Anne Robinson told the Associated Press. Mrs Kiborn was another neighbour who stepped out onto her porch during the commotion, reports said. Mr Neace apparently waited an hour for the police to arrive before turning the gun on himself, police heard the shot as they drove up to the trailer. Other neighbours had fled in terror during the rampage. Breathitt county is Kentucky's rural eastern region, where gun ownership numbers are high. [...]"   

UK:  Policeman tasered by colleague after blinding himself [09/12/10] "A police officer apprehended a man despite squirting pepper spray in his own face, having his jaw dislocated and being shot with a Taser - all on Friday 13th. What should have been a routine call turned sour when Pc Jason Mepham tried to have a quiet word with Jason King following reports of a disturbance in Murdoch Close, Redruth, Cornwall.  [...]" 

Jousting Continues After Medieval Wedding [09/11/10] "A couple who were married in a "ceremony focused on Arthurian legend," with "medieval costumes" and a "specially trained falcon as the ring bearer" claims their wedding photographer not only screwed up his assignment, he defamed them in a "legal handbook" he wrote on how to photograph weddings. [...]"  

Convicted drunken driver drives drunk to DWI victim panel [09/11/10] "The guy admitted he had four large beers before driving to the DWI victim impact panel. (Albany Times Union) [...]"   

Angry mom pulls gun on seventh-grade volleyball team [09/11/10] "The students were chanting and celebrating their victory when the woman "approached them, pulled a handgun, and threatened to shoot them," says a school spokesman. Her daughter may have been on the opposing team. (San Antonio Express-News | Video report) [...]"   

Man who was shot five times claims it was just an accident [09/11/10] "The victim told police the man who shot him is named Pepe Newsome, but he couldn't be found. "[His] statements are being taken with some degree of suspicion," says a police spokesman. (TampaBay.com) [...]"    

Men Charged in Sex Slavery Indictment [09/11/10] "Federal prosecutors say a western Missouri man held a mentally impaired teen-ager as a sex slave and sadistically tortured her for 7 years. Edward Bagley Sr., 43, faces an 11-count grand jury indictment, and four other men face associated charges. [...]"   

Volunteer firefighter makes bogus 911 calls to go out on runs [09/11/10] "The 24-year-old man is accused of using his cell phone to make four false reports of a gas odor within his fire district. "He just admitted that he wanted to go out on a call," says a sheriff's captain. (Janesville Gazette) [...]"   

Woman held after 2 shot dead at Pa. cookie plant [09/11/10] "Woman in police custody after 2 people shot dead, 1 critically wounded at Pa. cookie factory Minutes after a woman was suspended from her job at a Kraft Foods Inc. plant and was escorted out, she returned with a handgun and opened fire, killing two people and critically injuring a third [...]"  

Doctor Says Drug Agents Ran Wild [09/11/10] "A physician claims Pennsylvania drug agents maliciously prosecuted him on the "outrageous" claim that he supplied drugs for "the sacrificial doping" of parishioners in his pastor's church, and that the baseless investigation of him began after drug agents "red flagged" him because he had an unlisted phone number. [...]"   

 UK: Two men jailed for hammer attack [09/11/10] "Two men are jailed over a hammer attack which left a teenager from Leicester brain damaged. [...]"  

Woman drags nude neighbor out of her house by his beard [09/10/10] "The 64-year-old woman said she awoke about 12:50 a.m. Tuesday to find her neighbor standing over her naked. He grabbed her arm and said he was "just being friendly." Not buying that, she grabbed his beard, dragged him to the door, and hit him in the head with a tape measure. (Kansas City Star) [...]"   

5 Things That Are Being Automated That Probably Shouldn't Be [09/09/10] "Trading stocks is a tedious, mass-number-crunching game. Why not make computers do it for you? Because they will fuck it up.  Just a few months ago, on May 6, the Dow dropped about 1,000 points in minutes, which is usually about the kind of rate that kicks off something like the Great Depression. Stockbrokers barely had enough time to get their office windows open before the word spread that it was a false alarm. The cause? Robots. [...]"  

9th Human Foot Found On Pacific NW Beach  [09/08/10] "A human foot washed up on a Washington State island Friday morning, raising the tally of feet found on beaches in the Pacific Northwest since 2007 to a total of nine. A tourist found the foot while walking along a beach on the east side of Whidbey Island around 11:15 a.m., said Island County Detective Ed Wallace. “It's a right foot,” Wallace said. “Based on the size, it's either a female or a juvenile.” Based on the decomposition of the foot, officials estimated it has been in the water for less than two months. There are no missing persons cases in the county that match the foot, Wallace said. They will reach out to surrounding areas to try to match the foot with a missing persons case, he added. The foot was not wearing a sock or a shoe, he added. “It was just a foot.” [...]"  Note: Will we see #10? 

Motel employee, guest get into fight over bedbug allegation [09/08/10] "The guest reportedly wanted his money back after his mother became infested with bedbugs from the "filthy" conditions at the Niagara Rainbow Motel. A fight started when the clerk said no to a refund. (Buffalo News) [...]"   

Fla. teen collapses, dies during practice [09/08/10] "A Florida ninth-grader collapsed and died during high school football practice Tuesday, authorities said. [...]" 

Man takes dinner table to 130 mph [09/08/10] "A British man said he broke the world record for fastest piece of furniture by taking his motorized dinner table up to 130 mph. [...]"  

Fired waitresses sue Cracker Barrel [09/08/10] "Two Florida restaurant employees filed a federal lawsuit alleging they were fired for discrimination after they complained of other employees' discrimination. [...]"   

Couple who says they're non-smokers get smoking bill from hotel [09/07/10] "The woman suffers from severe asthma, so the couple say there's no possibility anyone smoked in the room while they were there. But Hyatt officials say they have photo evidence of smoking, but they refuse to release that evidence. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]"  

Alleged speeder claims trying to dry car [09/07/10] "Police in Illinois said a man pulled over for speeding told an officer he was trying to dry off his car after getting it washed. [...]"  

"Jehovah’s Witnesses Mad That Atheists Won’t Keep Their Views to Themselves" [09/07/10] Note:  That's rich, considering the JW's are major proselytizers who can't keep their beliefs to themselves. Obviously the JW's are psychologically projecting their own mental schema ... they have 'belief' .. they can't understand someone who doesn't 'believe' ... so they call it a 'view', but treat it like a 'belief'. Very confused people, and dumber than a stone. 

Sequentials At Large: Jackie Evancho  [09/06/10] "This year's wunderkind, singing prodigy Jackie Evancho, didn't wilt under the pressure of the semifinals — and proved she is no YouTube freshman fluke. Along with Fighting Gravity, Evancho looks like the act to beat this season, with a throaty voice that sounds like an adult's, even though she is just a cute kid. She has been this season's Susan Boyle (the "Talent" gold standard for a superstar act): a viral performer that can rack up millions of views online.  [...]"  Note:  "You're like an angel from another planet."  Huey Long, America's Got Talent judge, to the little sequential opera singer after she sang beautifully on the television show. Little does he know ... she has had many lives to perfect singing.

ELO cellist killed by bale of hay [09/06/10] "Early ELO member Mike Edwards is killed in a freak road accident involving a bale of hay in Devon. [...]"    

Australian comic Jim Jefferies On Religion, and the Horrible Blasphemy Panda [09/05/10]  [9:51]   

Accused wife beheader citing spouse abuse [09/04/10] "Attorneys for a television executive charged with stabbing and beheading his wife can introduce evidence of "battered spouse syndrome," a New York judge ruled. [...]"  

"Man blames dream on wife's murder" [09/04/10] "A former Chicago high school basketball star convicted of murdering his wife says he killed her after dreaming she was having sex with four of his old friends. [...]"  Note:  First of all, you can see that journalism at UPI has taken a dive, because the story title makes no sense when paired with the description ... the guy blamed the murder on the fact that he had the dream -- he didn't blame the dream on the murder. It should have said "Man blames wife's murder on dream". The other thing is that they don't even question this guys 'magical thinking' which somehow says that "a dream can justify a murder when you're awake". 

Battle With Mental Illness: "Creation Museum Evolving" [09/04/10] "Ken Ham, the Australian-born creator of the Creation Museum, looks around the throng of about a thousand guests on a hot, August morning and notes that "for a Tuesday, this is not a bad crowd."  In fact, more than three years after it opened in this remote corner of Kentucky, the 70,000-square-foot "walk through the bible," consisting of animatronic displays, video features, theaters and restaurants has evolved into a thriving enterprise. "We have consistently surpassed our own forecasts for attendance," said Mark Looy, a co-founder of the museum and spokesman for the center. Last month (August), the Creation Museum counted more than 1.2 million guests since it opened in 2007, he added. While Ham and Looy expected attendance to be high for the first year because of the curiosity factor -- there were about 500,000 guests in the museum's first year -- no one predicted the continuing growth in attendance. [...]"  Note:  A delusional sequential extravaganza for the naive and dull-witted.

Man Who Hit Power Line Atop Moving House Loses [09/04/10] "A Texas power company is not liable for the injuries suffered by a man who hit a power line while riding on top of a moving house. Nicholas Traxler was working for Burkhart House Moving Co. when he hit a power line and fell off the top of the house. [...]"   

Attorney Objects to Bizarre Seminar for Guys [09/03/10] "An attorney says he was forced to quit his job after a law firm docked his pay because he refused to go to a seminar where he feared he would be "stripped naked, not allowed to leave, be required to discuss details of his sex life, handle a wooden dildo, and potentially allow other men to touch his genitals." The lawyer claims his supervising attorney told him that the New Warrior Training seminar would help him "have closer, stronger, and better relationships with men." [...]"  

 UK: Helicopter Used To Nab Twig Collector [09/03/10] "Gareth Pope, 41, spent Bank Holiday Monday collecting twigs with his wife and two children. But an over-zealous forest warden spotted him at Chinnor Hill Nature Reserve in Oxon, and confronted him before dialing 999. Dispatchers scrambled a £500-an-hour police helicopter from RAF Benson, Oxon. [...]"  Note:  I have actually been to RAF Benson on a couple of occasions, between 1980 and 1984. It's a co-located operating base for US forces. I helped write the original plans and logistics.

Man put paint thinner, windshield wiper fluid in dad's drinks [09/03/10] "The 54-year-old man allegedly started lacing his father's drinks after being told he was cut out of the will. Some sharp-eyed bartenders noticed the guy slipping fluid in his dad's drinks and called police. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]"  

Man jailed after hitting neighbor with broom, taking lawn trimmer [09/03/10] "The 50-year-old man asked his neighbor to stop using his lawn trimmer. The guy wouldn't so out came the broom -- and the the police. (TampaBay.com) [...]"  

Homeless man calls 911 to request a hug and some hot chocolate [09/03/10] "Police in Oregon said a homeless man broke into a fenced-in hot tub and -- after about 10 hours in the water -- called 911 to ask for a hug and hot chocolate. [...]"   

 MT: "Text meant for pot dealer misdirected to sheriff" [09/04/10] "The text message said: “Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?”  Sheriff Leo Dutton initially thought someone was playing a joke on him, but quickly realized it was a real request for a drug exchange. “I’m thinking, ‘Hey this is odd,’ ” Dutton said. “I was looking around to see if there was someone outside my window playing a prank.” He played along as if it were legitimate. “How much we talking?” Dutton replied to the teen. [...]"  " Note: The whole incident is so pathetically amusing ... only in Montana, I guess.

Stephen Hawking Has Revelation: "creation was godless, inevitable" [09/02/10] "In his new book, the famed physicist dismisses the notion, sometimes peddled by scientists, that a deity was involved with the big bang: “Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. ... It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the universe going.” Citing the 1992 discovery of a planet orbiting a star other than our Sun, he said: “That makes the coincidences of our planetary conditions - the single Sun, the lucky combination of Earth-Sun distance and solar mass - far less remarkable, and far less compelling as evidence that the Earth was carefully designed just to please us human beings.” He adds: “Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. “Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist. [...]"  Note:  What he doesn't know is that Higher Selves of individuals are the creators, and they also create large scale situational dynamics, like the orchestration of life on a planet such as Earth, but Stephen is a sequential, who, running out of logical options, opts for 'mysterious spontaneity that was created or abetted by no one'', preferring to return the state of knowledge back to the 14th century, or earlier.

"The Flight From Hell" [09/02/10] "A passenger claims she was "terrified" during an emergency landing that was forced because the American Airlines pilot ignored "multiple warnings" about critical gear, and tried to fly from Seattle to New York on battery power, which lasts for only 30 minutes. [...]"     

Man survives 39-story NYC suicide jump [09/01/10] "  A New York man says his son will recover after a 39-story fall from a Manhattan high-rise that left him badly injured but alive. Thomas Magill, 22, underwent surgery for two broken legs Tuesday night after landing feet-first on the roof of a parked Dodge belonging to a construction worker from Jersey. "He's stable now," Magill's dad, Thomas Magill Sr., told reporters. "We can only hope he'll be OK." The incident, an apparent suicide try, had folks on West End Avenue on the Upper West Side buzzing as a bevy of witnesses told reporters how Magill was crying about his injured leg and the blue sneakers he wore that went flying off impact. "He came down feet-first at like 100 miles per hour" witness Andrew Petrocelli, told the New York Daily News. "That's a miracle if I've ever seen one. He should be a goner."[...]"  Note:  Now, there's a Higher Self intervention.

Man sued for drunkenly losing $1.35 million painting [09/01/10] "The artwork's co-owner says the guy is "a complete fumbling idiot. He's just a complete asshole." He says he lost the painting after drinking at a New York hotel. (New York Daily News) [...]"   

Italy: Thief's 'wrong' (turn) lands him in jail [09/01/10] "A purse-snatcher's escape went awry Tuesday when he ducked into a building only to realize it was a police station, bemused police officials said.  The alleged thief, described as a young Romanian, apparently thought he was running into a post office where he may have intended to blend into the crowd, the Italian news agency ANSA reported. Instead, he looked up to see himself among police officers. The man's victims showed up shortly after and the man was arrested. "It was like something out of 'I Soliti Ignoti,'" an onlooker told ANSA, referring to the 1958 Italian comedy starring Marcello Mastroianni in the story of a band of small-time crooks who try to burgle a government-owned pawn shop. [...]"  

City to pay McDonald's $312,000 because new bridge blocks sign [09/01/10] "Poor McDonald's! A recently constructed pedestrian footbridge has hurt its business because drivers can't see its sign. The fast-food chain sued and will collect over $300,000. (Wisconsin State Journal) [...]"   Note:  They had their chance to object IF an impact statement and public hearing existed relative to the construction.  

Woman attacks ATM for 20 minutes and still doesn't get cash [09/01/10] "Surveillance video showed a woman attacking an ATM machine with a claw hammer at Publix in the 1500 block of North Federal Highway, police said. The incident happened about 3:30 a.m. on July 26, police said. In the video, the woman spends about 20 minutes trying to break into the machine, causing $8,000 in damages but failing to extract any cash, police said. (TCoastTalk.com) [...]" 

Widower Sues Hospice for 'Sin Virus' Letter [09/01/10] "A widower sued Hospice Care of Southwest Michigan, claiming an employee sent his terminally ill wife a letter saying that she "would spend her eternity in hell if she didn't get rid of the 'sin virus' that had caused her illness." He claims that the letter was followed by a "harassing and outrageous" visit from a hospice director. [...]"  

Boss Made Her a Sex Slave, Homeland Security Worker Says [09/01/10] "A woman claims her boss in the Department of Homeland Security made her "a sex slave," and the agency reduced her hours and forced her to resign when she complained about it. She demands reinstatement, lost pay and damages, in Federal Court. [...]"  

Teen sues after agreeing to be shocked for a Mountain Dew [09/01/10] "The student ended up being shocked so severely that his heart stopped. The lawsuit says , the electrical trades class teacher encouraged the boy to shock himself, even offering a Mountain Dew in exchange for doing so. New Hampshire Union Leader) [...]"    

Failed cigarette toss destroys car [09/01/10] "Police in New Jersey said a woman's car was engulfed in flames when she tried and failed to flick a still-burning cigarette out her window. [...]"  

Georgia man dies after goat attack [09/01/10] "An 88-year-old Georgia man has died a week after a goat attacked and chased him outside his home for almost an hour, authorities said. [...]"   

Man injured in spider chase explosion [09/01/10] "British emergency responders said a man suffered severe burns when an aerosol can he was attempting to use against a spider ignited and exploded. [...]"   

Self-described CIA assassin dies in gun accident [08/31/10] "Roland W. Haas, a senior intelligence officer in the US Army Reserve who claimed in a 2007 memoir that he was a CIA assassin, died over the weekend when he accidentally shot himself, police in the US state of Georgia said. [...]"  Note:  Live by the sword ...

Magician jailed after pursuing girl, 12, he met at birthday party [08/31/10] "Shane Wright performed magic tricks at a 13-year-old girl's birthday party last summer, and gave his phone number to most of the girls present and also asked for the 12-year-old's number. He then pursued her. (Santa Cruz Sentinel) [...]"    

Men escape decapitation under truck [08/31/10] "Police in South Dakota said two men are lucky to be alive after driving under a stalled semi and flatbed in a pickup truck. [...]"  

Would-be burglar is stuck in restaurant grease vent for six hours [08/31/10] "He was found wearing socks on his hands to avoid leaving fingerprints. (TheState.com) [...]"   Related: Doctor's body found in chimney after homeowners smell bad odor [08/31/10] "Detectives initially investigated the woman's death as suspicious, but police said Monday that all the evidence indicates she voluntarily went to the roof, removed the chimney cap and slid down the flue feet first. (Bakersfield.com) [...]"   

Stolen laptop contains (stupid) man's 'dreams' [08/30/10] "John Boldt is asking the thief who stole his laptop to return his years of research for his master's degree. A Calgary man is desperate to get his stolen laptop, with years of work on it, back.  It was stolen from the trunk of his car while he went for a run in Edworthy Park Wednesday night.  John Boldt is pleading for the return of his hard drive, which contains research and notes for the thesis he was writing for his master's degree in history. He only had three chapters left to write before his paper was complete.  Unless he gets it back, Boldt will have to abandon his dream and quit at the University of Calgary. "It's so many years of my life just thrown away," he says. Some clothes, cash and credit cards were also stolen. Boldt doesn't care if he gets any of that back, he just wants his computer and hopes the thief does the right thing. "The computer can be replaced. It's what's on it that can't. Even if they want to save everything on a hard drive and give me that, that's fantastic," he adds. Police say they're sympathetic to Boldt's plight, but he says determined thieves will find what they're after. Boldt says if he doesn't get the data back, he won't be able to return to the U of C when classes start next week. He's offering a cash reward for the return of the laptop, or even just the hard drive.  [...]"  Note:  Who goes for a masters degree, writing on a computer for years and doesn't EVER know enough about computers, or have enough reason and logic to make a backup of data so important that you think your whole 'life' and career depend on it?  He isn't a master of shit. Now he can push broom provided for him by his destiny.

Fungi 'massacre' in Italy claims victims [08/30/10] "Mushroom hunting season in Italy is proving fatal for some, with 18 dead, mostly in accidental falls, in 10 days, officials said. [...]"  

 UK: Snorkellers take to the bogs for annual event [08/29/10] "Organisers of the World Bog Snorkelling Championships at Llanwrtyd Wells, Powys, are expecting to confirm a new world record time. [...]"   Note:  Wales.

Paraglider killed in 150ft fall [08/29/10] "An investigation is under way after a paraglider died when he fell 150ft, close to cliffs near Plymouth in Devon. [...]"  Note:  Bam! Neptune in Aries ... 

Father and son hit by propeller [08/28/10] "A father and son from Stoke-on-Trent are seriously injured after being thrown from their boat off the coast of Cornwall and run over twice by the outboard motor. [...]"  

Nails removed from 'abused' maid [08/28/10] "Doctors remove 13 nails and five needles from a Sri Lankan housemaid who said her employer in Saudi Arabia hammered them into her body. [...]"  

“We’re about to crash,” passengers told in error [08/27/10] "British Airways apologized to passengers after an emergency message warning they were about to crash into the sea was played by mistake. About 275 passengers were on the London Heathrow to Hong Kong flight on Tuesday evening when the automated message went out. The plane was flying over the North Sea at the time. Cabin crew quickly realized the error and moved to reassure the terrified passengers. "We all thought we were going to die," Michelle Lord, 32, of Preston, northern England, told The Sun newspaper. Another passenger was reported saying: "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash." [...]"  Note: You haven't seen anything yet. 

Flyover blamed for mass chicken deaths [08/27/10] "A French farmer is demanding compensation for 4,800 chickens apparently killed by fright when two jet fighters flew overhead. [...]"   

Florida man does $2,182 damage to ATM that ate his card [08/27/10] "He first attacked it with scissors, then resorted to his fists. This was his fifth arrest. (Tampa Bay.com) [...]"   

Man struck, killed by train while looking for legendary ghost train [08/27/10] "He was with 12 amateur ghost hunters were on a train trestle, hoping to see a ghost train that crashed on Aug. 27, 1891. (WSOCTV.com) [...]"   

Cops: Driver was watching sex video while using toy on herself [08/27/10] "The 36-year-old woman was charged with "driving with inappropriate alertness" and having illegal tinted windows. The arresting officer says: "It's very unusual. This is a first for me." (Cincinnati Enquirer || The Smoking Gun) [...]"   

Drunk Fireman Torched Her Home and Two Others, Woman Says [08/27/10] "A woman claims a drunk fireman set her house on fire in the middle of the night to prove to his fellow firemen that he could fight "real" fires. Susan Ehrlich claims it was not the first time Mystic Fire District firefighter William Celtruda set a house on fire, and that another home he torched "was occupied by the owner and his two young children." [...]"  

Jury: Billionaire paid enough child support [08/27/10] "A Los Angeles jury Thursday decided billionaire Donald Bren does not have to pay extra child support for his adult children, who were seeking $400,000 a month. [...]"  Note: gasp .... 

Nightmarish Hospital Visit Capped by Beating, Accident Victim Says [08/26/10] "A man who was hurt in a car crash but was misidentified as a cancer patient claims security guards at Prince George’s Hospital beat him up when he tried to leave the hospital to avoid chest surgery he didn’t need – “to have a potentially cancerous mass removed from his chest.” He adds that one guard repeatedly called him “bitch” as he roughed him up.  Joseph Wheeler says a June 23 car accident put him in the hospital, which is owned by Dimensions Health Corporation. When he woke up hungry on June 24 and asked a nurse for food, she told him he couldn't eat because he was scheduled for surgery, Wheeler claims in Prince George's County Court. Wheeler says the nurse checked his identification bracelet and told him the surgery was "to have a potentially cancerous mass removed from his chest." Wheeler says his ID bracelet "contained a name that was different from Mr. Wheeler's, appeared to be that of a woman, and had a birth date that was 13 years prior to his own [...]"  Note: A case worth reading ... a HUGE clusterfuck.

Man to spend time in jail after throwing remote at son with ADD [08/26/10] "The story notes that the father has a tattoo on his neck featuring a dotted line and the words "Cut Here." That'll be tempting for his fellow inmates. (Pittsburgh Tribune-Review) [...]"   

"Backpack from trash sparks bomb scare" [08/26/10] "Police in Pittsburgh said a bomb scare was set off by a harmless backpack left behind by a homeless man who pulled it from the trash. [...]"   Note: The bomb scare was set off by the police department , not by the backpack. People have left things around for eons ... it's the 'security state' mindset that's the problem. Justify expenditure of time and funds on specific paradigms, etc .... that are imposed on everyone, involuntarily.

Teen concocts story about death threats to get sex from girl [08/26/10] "The 18-year-old man told the girl if she didn't have sex with him, drug dealers might hurt them and her family. He's been charged. (Grand Forks Herald) [...]"  

Woman found dead on wedding day [08/26/10] "A 51-year-old woman who was murdered in her home in Belfast was found on the day she was due to get married, police reveal. [...]"   

Burglars left behind sex tape [08/25/10] "Police in Washington state said they identified a pair of sex tape-making burglars when the couple left behind their camera. Investigators said a neighbor collecting mail for an Elma homeowner who was away stumbled upon the naked couple having sex on the floor of the house Monday, KXRO-AM, Aberdeen, Wash., reported Wednesday. Grays Harbor County sheriff's Chief Deputy Dave Pimentel said the couple left behind their clothes and camera when they fled. He said deputies identified the couple from the sex tape footage. Police said a 39-year-old woman, whose name was not released, was arrested and charged with burglary. An arrest warrant was issued for a 31-year-old man. [...]"  

Worker shot computer server [08/25/10] "Police in Salt Lake City said they arrested a mortgage company employee alleged to have drunkenly opened fire on his company's computer server. [...]"  

Man fights Web addiction in bathroom [08/25/10] "A New York comedian said he is spending five days barricaded in his bathroom to kick his addiction to the Internet. [...]"    Video clip included. 

Parody: "Time Magazine: Now for Adults" [08/25/10]  Video clip [0:00]  "The Onion mocks Time’s glossy infographics and inane weekly updates on Geezus and depression with this biting parody. [...]"  Note: Turn volume down to low before clicking.

Accused pornographer "bakes the most wonderful pies" [08/25/10] "When people are interviewed about their neighbors who've been arrested, they often talked about how they rarely socialized, or "just seemed nice." But the neighbor of a lawyer accused of hanky-panky with a teen girl says: "He bakes the most wonderful pies I have ever tasted in my life." (TBD.com) [...]"     

Family's photo at state capitol shows man stealing their bag [08/25/10] "The father showed police the picture and they recognized the thief as a Capitol grounds regular. The officers "were amazing," says John Myers. "They located the guy. He was still carrying the bag." (Wisconsin State Journal) [...]" 

Bullet found in Polish man's head [08/25/10] "A Polish man living in Germany spends five years with a bullet in his head after forgetting he was shot because he was drunk. [...]"   

Truck crushes house, kills at least 3 [08/24/10] "A fully loaded gravel truck veered off a California highway Tuesday and crushed a Santa Barbara house, killing a man, woman and child, officials said. The cause of the collision was under investigation, but logs posted on the California Highway Patrol Web site, indicate the truck's brakes may have failed, the Times said.[...]"  Note:  An examination of the astrological charts of everyone killed in this incident will reveal this in their path.

'No man-made fix' for rising seas [08/24/10] "Even the most extreme geoengineering approaches will not stop sea levels from rising due to climate change, a study suggests. [...]"  Note:  If you can't lower the water, raise the bridge ... what an idiot - of course 'man' can't lower the ocean levels ... build on higher ground, dummy. Stupid sequentials.

Driver Somehow Survives 'Disintegrating' Crash [08/24/10] [1:24] "A 19-year-old driving south on Interstate 675 on Monday morning near the Indian Ripple Road exit crashed his car into an overpass, breaking the car into pieces and shutting down traffic for 5 hours. The 19-year-old driver was in critical condition. A police cruiser's dashboard camera captured Monday morning's stunning crash on Interstate 675 near Dayton. The video shows a 1985 Pontiac Firebird passing by in the median, striking a culvert and then flying through the air. The car slams into the overpass, turning into a shower of parts. The State Highway Patrol says driver Brennan Eden was ejected onto a highway shoulder. Troopers say he was alert and conscious afterward. Investigators are trying to determine how fast the car was going. [...]"  Note:  Higher self intervention ... although for what reason, I couldn't imagine.

UK: Man Commits Suicide While Sleepwalking [08/24/10] "And this isn't the first time that's happened, doctors say. Tobias Wong had no apparent reason to commit suicide. He had a rising career as a designer and conceptual artist, and was in a stable, loving relationship. “We were always thinking about our future,” says boyfriend Tim Dubitsky. “We wanted kids. We wanted to find a house.” Instead, the 35-year-old hanged himself—and Dubitsky is convinced he did it while sleepwalking, he tells the Daily Telegraph. Wong was among the roughly 4% of adults who suffer from parasomnias, or sleepwalking. Dubitsky would sometimes awake to find him fleeing non-existent intruders, or sobbing to himself. Parasomniacs are “awake enough to perform very complex behaviors,” says one specialist. But if Wong's prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain where awareness resides—isn’t engaged, “it’s technically not suicide. It’s an accident.” This isn’t a unique case, either; a Gloucestershire sleepwalker hanged himself in 2001, and many more wander into traffic, hit their heads, or experience unconscious misfortunes. [...]"  

No bail for son who allegedly burned dad [08/24/10] "A judge refused bail Tuesday for a Florida man accused of killing his father by throwing gasoline at him and setting him on fire with a lighter. [...]"  

Fake bomb in police chief's old house prompts evacuation in Maine [08/24/10] "Police in Maine say a suspicious device that sparked the evacuation of nearby homes after being found in a house once owned by a police chief was a fake bomb. [...]"  

Man had 55,000 euros in his pants [08/24/10] "A man caught entering the UK with 55,000 euros stuffed down his pants has the cash confiscated because he cannot account for it. [...]"  

FL: Woman, 72, accidentally shot by husband during "robbery drill" [08/24/10] "I've heard of fire drills, but robbery drills? That's new to me. The woman, who has been married 54 years to the guy who shot her, is expected to recover. (ClickOrlando.com) [...]"  

UK:  Crash man was 'driving starship' [08/24/10] "A "psychotic" driver being pursued by police crashed into the back of a car at 60mph killing the married couple inside, a court hears. [...]"    

LA:Woman gets 10 days in jail for wearing low-riding pants to court [08/24/10] "They revealed her underwear "and a bit more." (New Orleans Times-Picayune) [...]"     

 UK: Girl, 10, mugged for 68p in purse [08/24/10] "A 10-year-old girl is mugged for 68p as she walked to the shop to buy some sweets near her home in Wirral. [...]"   

Shopper gets ticket for telling deli clerk he likes 'large breasts' [08/24/10] "The 61-year-old man swears he was referring to the chicken part. Still, he's been banned from the supermarket for a year. (Westword.com) [...]"  Note: That's so petty, and so sequential ... no harm was done to anyone except the old man. Stupid business, cutting their own income, too, just to be mean. 

Bride-to-be arrested for drunk-driving just hours before wedding [08/24/10] "She was coming home from her bachelorette party. The 31-year-old woman was released to a taxi so she could get to her wedding. (Seattle Times) [...]"  Note:  Yup ... 31 ... those are the years for that sort of thing.

Onion: "Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs" [08/24/10]    Video clip [2:07]

FL: Arm-wrestling loser tries to plow down people with pick-up truck [08/23/10] "The 25-year-old man also put the barrel of a rifle against the forehead of his opponent, say witnesses. (TCPalm.com) [...]"  

Woman, 65, tells would-be gas station robber to get lost [08/23/10] "I am a natural red head and I did what my instinct told me to," says the woman. (Lorain Morning News) [...]"  Note:  Indeed.

Al Fayed had 'cursed' Harrods' royal warrants burned [08/23/10] "Former Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed has revealed he ordered the store's royal warrants to be destroyed in 2000. He said the endorsements, from the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales and the late Queen Mother, were a "curse" on the store. The billionaire also called for a "fitting" public memorial to Diana, Princess of Wales, and his son Dodi, who died in a Paris car crash in 1997. Mr Al Fayed made the comments in a letter to the Sunday Telegraph. The Egyptian-born tycoon sold the Knightsbridge department store for £1.5bn to the Qatari royal family in May. [...]"  

Woman Slips Into Uncovered Manhole, Drowns In Illinois [08/22/10] "A 23-year-old woman has drowned after getting trapped in an uncovered manhole during heavy rain in Illinois. Springfield police say Leanna Pokora and two passengers were riding in a car Friday night and got stuck under an overpass where the road had flooded.  All three got out of the car to start pushing, and the Pokora slipped into a manhole and underwater. She was submerged for about four minutes before the man and a police officer were able to free her. Police Lt. Jim Henry says the woman died at the scene. The State Journal-Register reports that Pokora, who lived in Springfield, drove past a single barricade. [...]" 

Loco Mama: The Glamour Girl of Z-TV [08/22/10] [1:49] Related: Loco Mama Medicine Woman [4:40] Note:  Very amusing.

WI: Iraq war vet kills pregnant wife, daughter, self [08/19/10] "April Oles-Magdzas was due to give birth to her second daughter Wednesday, a little more than a year after she and her Iraq war veteran husband became new parents. But when Oles-Magdzas' mother showed up that day at the couple's home in Superior, she found the entire family dead of an apparent murder-suicide. Superior police said Thursday that Matthew Magdzas, a 23-year-old Wisconsin National Guard soldier who earned a combat badge in the Iraq war, shot and killed his pregnant wife, their 13-month-old daughter Lila, and their three dogs before turning the gun on himself. [...]"  

CA: Plastic Surgeon Crashes Vehicle and Dies Moments After Twitter Session About Dog [08/19/10] "Police in California are investigating if famed plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan’s death on Monday in a car crash in Malibu was the result of distracted driving from texting and tweeting at the wheel. … Ryan died while driving the Pacific Coast Highway when his Jeep Wrangler went off the road,  [...]"  Note: Too much multi-tasking can get be a means to an end. Does the end justify the means? If someone is dying to 'tweet', well, there you are.

FL: Church vows to defy ban on burning Korans [08/19/10] "A small church vows to burn copies of the Koran on Sept. 11 despite a ban from Gainesville's fire department. [...]"  Note:  Morons, and raised by wolves, all of them. The latest 'volley' in their immature belief-system 'wars' in order to try and preserve their latest 'immortality strategy', in an attempt to ward off the 'death anxiety' of the body as society continues to implode. Dumb as a stone.

Woman risks her life to help bear choking on a dog's bone [08/19/10] "She told her fiance: 'Honey, I gotta do it, man. I cannot let this bear die in my yard." Patricia Torres, 47, put on some leather gloves and went to work. "I just shoved my hand in her mouth until I could feel an object, which I grabbed and yanked out. I could tell it was my dog's bone when I got it closer. Thank God I didn't break any of her teeth." (Lakeland Times) [...]"  Note: Now, that takes courage, focus, and a path where you don't get eaten. 

MA: School administrator forced to quit after calling locals "snobby" [08/19/10] "She posted her remarks on Facebook -- and just after she had received a $4,000 raise, boosting her salary to about $92,000. (Boston Globe) [...]"    

Rampaging bull wounds 40 in Spain [08/19/10] "A bull leaps out of the arena at a Spanish bullring and rampages through the crowd, injuring 40 people. [...]"  

Twenty-Four Years in Prison, but Innocent [08/19/10] "A man who spent 24 years in prison for a murder he did not commit has sued St. Louis and its Police Department for their shoddy work in investigating his case. Darryl Burton was convicted of shooting Donald Ball to death on June 4, 1984, based on the evidence presented by St. Louis police officers. He was cleared and released in 2008. [...]"   

Man fined after assaulting woman in express lane with 37 items [08/19/10] "The Piggly Wiggly shopper called the woman fat and ugly. She called 911, and the guy who raised a stink about too many items in the express lane was fined $429. This was the man's second such incident investigated by the same officer in two years. (WISN.com) [...]" 

Bride hurt in 30ft honeymoon fall [08/19/10] "A London woman fractures her spine after falling 30ft from a balcony while on honeymoon in Corfu [...]"  

Women threaten to tell landlord's wife about sex-for-rent deal [08/19/10] "The two have been charged with a felony threat to extort money. One woman straddled the guy and the other woman came into the room and snatched the man's clothes and cellphone. It went downhill from there. (Washington Post) [...]"   

Cops seize $1M in fake watches, perfume [08/19/10] "New York police seized more than $1 million in fake perfume and watches and arrested nine people in a raid after a batch of real brand-name watches vanished. [...]" Note: Well, then they're not worth "$1 million", are they? They're worthless. Just like these cops, who feel the need to boost their sense of  self-worth and justify their jobs. The headline should have read: Cops seize fake watches, perfume or Cops stumble on scheme ...

TX: U.S. Marshal: "Mexican Drug traffickers rely on Tweety Bird , Saints to keep police away" [08/17/10] " ... The undercover officer walked cautiously through the home, searching for drugs. He’d grudgingly agreed to search the house, owned by a heroin-dealing witch. But now things were getting spooky. At the end of a hallway, the narcotics detective found a pitch-black room filled with flickering candles and statues. He tried the light switch. It didn’t work. So he moved closer, toward a table covered with candles. That was when he noticed the voodoo dolls, labeled with scraps of paper and stuck with tiny pins. “And I pick up a voodoo doll – maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did – and on the piece of paper was my partner's name,” said the former detective, Robert R. Almonte, now the U.S. Marshal for Texas’ Western District. He showed the doll to his partner, who turned white. “Then I picked up another voodoo doll and that’s when it really struck me. Because my name was on that voodoo doll.” Today, Almonte supervises about 195 deputy marshals across western Texas. But he hasn’t forgotten executing that search warrant during the 1980s, which sparked a lifelong interest in the religious beliefs of criminals, especially Mexican drug traffickers. ... Criminals also buy into more laughable schemes, including candles which allegedly warn off police. If the ward-off-police candle fails, there’s also a good-luck-in-court candle. “Even if they get arrested, do they say ‘Well, I guess this prayer stuff didn’t work, I’m not going to do it anymore,’” Almonte said. “No! Now they’re praying harder so that their case gets dismissed.”  Traffickers also rely on good-luck charms, such as Scarface posters and pictures of Tweety, the yellow bird from Looney Tunes. Apparently traffickers find comfort in the idea that although Sylvester chases Tweety, he never catches the wily bird, Almonte said. [...]"    Related: Edinburg: Deputies find 42 pounds of cocaine [08/17/10] "Hidalgo County sheriff’s deputies arrested two men allegedly found with cocaine on Sunday. Investigators received a tip that a black Chevrolet Tahoe would be transporting the drugs Sunday afternoon in Edinburg, deputies said in a statement.  Deputies attempted to arrest Juan Manuel Morales, who was driving the Tahoe, on undisclosed traffic violations. Gabriel Cedillo was a passenger in the vehicle. The drug dog sniffed the SUV and 42 pounds of cocaine were found inside. Because of the weight of the drugs, each man could spend up to life in prison and face up to a $100,000 fine upon conviction. [...]" | Gunman fires at Texas police station "Police in McKinney, Texas, say a man with an assault rifle was killed Tuesday after allegedly firing shots at a police station. [...]"  Note: Dumber than a stone, all of them.  

 UK: Warning over 'tombstoning' danger [08/17/10] "... The trend for tombstoning - jumping off cliffs or other high points into water - has claimed lives around the UK. [...]"  

Court says shopping mall can't "regulate what shoppers talk about" [08/16/10] "The mall owners didn't want strangers talking to each other if they weren't talking about the mall, according to this story. The court says that's going too far. (Sacramento Bee) [...]"  Note: Talk about combining the concept of 'supervised external deference' with 'paranoid control freaks' ... 

UK: 'In despair over debt': Couple found dead as their young sons played had lost their jobs and their home [08/15/10] "A couple found dead as their two young sons played nearby were plagued with money worries and had lost their family home after being made redundant. Barry Harrison, 47, is believed to have strangled wife Amanda, 34, before hanging himself at their seaside flat. It has emerged that the devastated couple had lost their £100,000 property after losing their jobs at a recession-hit car manufacturing plant. Neighbours said Mr Harrison had become depressed after losing his job, putting a strain on the couple’s marriage. [...]"  Note: Interesting comments at the end of the article.

Woman claims she was groped by Donald Duck, wants $200,000 [08/15/10] "The lawsuit filed by April Magolon, 27, says: "Donald Duck proceeded to grab [Magolon's] breast and molest her and then made gestures making a joke indicating he had done something wrong," the lawsuit states." (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"   

Blind man sues hot dog restaurant over run-in with tree [08/13/10] "The 36-year-old man's lawsuit says "the tree was allowed to grow in such a way that it was impossible for Mr. Reynolds to detect its presence by use of his cane" and that because the tree was "rooted in the ground far to one side of the sidewalk and [had grown] diagonally across the sidewalk," it had become a "clear hazard." (Salt Lake Tribune) [...]"   

Benedictine Monks Decry Cartel on Caskets [08/13/10] "A Benedictine monastery says the Louisiana Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors has threatened its monks with criminal charges, fines and up to 180 days in jail unless they stop selling wooden caskets, because state law bars the sale of funeral items without a license. The monks say "there is no rational relationship between the sale of handmade wooden caskets and a government requirement that a monastery become a funeral home." [...]"   

Man Claims Beer-Loving Cop Shot Him [08/13/10] "A sheriff's deputy with a history of racism and conduct unbecoming an officer drank "5 or 6 beers" before going to a undercover drug sting and then shot the suspect in the stomach without provocation, the injured man claims in Federal Court. [...]"   

Couple claim real estate agent used their home for sexcapades [08/13/10] "The realty firm spent more than $7,000 to clean the home and replace sullied furniture, sheets, towels, the couple's robes and her negligee. But the family says they were repulsed by the intrusion and can't stay there anymore. "It feels like we have been violated in every sense of the word," says the hubby. (Minneapolis Star Tribune) [...]" 

Cocaine found in woman's bank deposit [08/13/10] "Connecticut authorities said a woman was arrested after she accidentally included a small bag of cocaine with her bank deposit. [...]"   

Girl, 14, forced into prostitution by family to pay living expenses [08/13/10] "The girl's mother, 33, and grandmother, 55, were arrested at a motel for compelling prostitution. [...]"  

Police surround man's home after hearing about his Facebook post [08/12/10] "The guy wrote on his Facebook page that he has a loaded gun and would shoot anyone who came to his door. His sister called police. (Eau Claire Leader-Telegram) [...]"  Note: His sister, probably a meddling sequential, deliberately aided and abetted the provocation of mayhem. With a sister like that, the man didn't need enemies ... 

Jail time for new father nurse fondler [08/12/10] "A Utah man was sentenced to six months in jail for fondling the breasts of a nurse wheeling his pregnant girlfriend to a hospital delivery room, officials say. [...]"     

Man fakes seizures to get out of paying restaurant bills [08/12/10] "The 43-year-old man did this for three months before getting caught. A rap sheet shows he's been arrested for theft or other crimes 89 times. (Baltimore Sun) [...]"  Note:  Too dumb to realize all his fines and troubles far exceed the things he sought to escape.

Just-released video shows woman going ballistic over McNuggets [08/12/10] "Melodi Dushane, 24, became enraged when a worker at the McDonald's told her that Chicken McNuggets weren't on the breakfast menu, and couldn't be served. She then threw a bottle at the drive-thru window. (Toledo Blade) [...]"  Note:  Another person raised by wolves. 

Man planned to divorce his first wife, but 'time just slipped away' [08/12/10] "hat's what he told investigators after his second wife discovered the first one on Facebook. He's pleaded guilty to bigamy. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]" 

Man threatens nurse for laughing at plan to name kid John Gotti [08/12/10] "She thought he was joking, but he wasn't. "I'm going to put a cord around your neck, strangle you until you die, throw you in a ditch, and no one will ever know who did it," he allegedly told her. (Everett Herald) [...]"   

Cop charged with drunken fatal crash [08/12/10] "An Indianapolis police officer was charged Wednesday with being drunk when he plowed a squad car into two motorcycles, killing one man. [...] 

Man Says Sheriff's Officers Hid Evidence to Protect Deputy After a Fatal Accident [08/12/10] "A man claims that officials in Lake County conspired to maliciously prosecute him for a fatal boating accident that actually was caused by a sheriff's deputy who was "under the influence of intoxicating liquor at the time of the collision." [...] 

Four squad cars chase go-cart through downtown St. Paul [08/12/10] "Speeds hit 20 mph! A stun gun was used to halt the go-cart driver. (St. Paul Pioneer Press) [...]"   

Couple Claim They Were Given a Toe to Bury [08/12/10] "A couple who held a burial service for their 5-month-old fetus say they were shocked when a doctor called them 2 hours after the ceremony and told them they had not buried their fetus, but a big toe. "The big toe was exhumed from the gravesite and it was discovered that the plastic container did contain a big toe and not the remains of the five-month old fetus," the couple claim in Harris County Court. [...]"    

Store bans disabled vet after service dog takes dump in aisle [08/12/10] "The evicted veteran says: "My dog pooped on the floor and I cleaned it up right away. I've worked in supermarkets before, and I've seen old people and kids make messes on the floor and nobody ever threatened to have them arrested." (Middletown Press) [...]"  Note: Sequential response by the store owner.

Mom: School bus crashed after driver leaned out to vomit [08/12/10] "The mother says in her lawsuit that the driver opened the door of the bus "in an attempt to lean over so he could barf" and fell out and onto the road, while the bus carrying school children continued without a driver and crashed into a ditch. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  

Eye-Roll: 'Queen Loses Crown Over Change in Hair Color" [08/11/10] "Fifteen-year-old beauty pageant winner, Olivia O'Neil from New Zealand, was told that she would never amount to anything and was told to give back her title and crown. She was stripped of her title when pageant director, Barbara Osbourne, saw the girl on Facebook and noticed that the teenager had died her hair to its original brown color from the blonde that it had been when she won the pageant. The teenager from New Zealand refused to hand over her crown. [...]" Note: How do you spell sequential female cat fight.? 

Retired NYPD cops probed for 'faking' mental illness to get benefits [08/10/10] "Up to 24 retired NYPD cops, some already getting tax-free disability pensions, are being investigated for allegedly feigning mental illness to add Social Security benefits to their juicy incomes -- even as they declared themselves sane enough to pack a pistol, The Post has learned. The insane mixed messages have set off a corruption probe at 1 Police Plaza and prompted the feds to target the retirees, as well as their lawyers and psychiatrists, sources said. [...]"   

Flight attendant goes bonkers after passenger won't apologize [08/10/10] "The 38-year-old male flight attendant allegedly spewed obscenities over the JetBlue plane's PA system, then activated and slid down a emergency chute with two beers before disappearing into a JFK terminal. (Wall Street Journal) [...]"    

Man arrested after fooling around with mannequin on park bench [08/10/10] "The 61-year-old guy told a cop that he was "just trying to have a little fun." Police say he was sitting on a park bench with an armless mannequin on his lap, holding it with one hand and pleasuring himself with the other. (WSAZ.com) [...]" 

UK: Man and woman found 'dead' in flat [08/10/10] "A man and woman, thought to be a married couple in their 30s, are found in a flat on the Isle of Wight. [...]"   

UK: Police chase boy 'killed' by train [08/10/10] "A teenager is killed by a train in north London moments after fleeing a car being chased by police. [...]"   

Burglar claims leaving 'thank you note' [08/09/10] "Police said a burglar who returned to the same Florida home he was convicted of stealing from three years ago told officers he was leaving a "thank you note."  The Sarasota Police Department said officers responded to the home Tuesday night after an alarm was triggered and found Gerald Maxwell, 39, inside with a stack of jewelry he had apparently gathered and a crack pipe, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported Monday. "I was going back in there to leave a thank you note because I'm the guy who burglarized this place last year. I just got out of jail," police quoted Maxwell as saying at the time of his arrest. [...]"  

Feds Say SoCal Couple Kidnapped and 'Deported' a Filipina Woman [08/09/10] "A married couple from Hemet kidnapped and "deported" a Filipina woman who they claimed was in the United States illegally, federal prosecutors say. According to the grand jury indictment, Gregory Denny and his wife handcuffed and kidnapped the woman from her home and took her to a Border Patrol station, where Greg Denny falsely claimed to be a U.S. Marshal. When the Border Patrol refused to arrest her, the Dennys took her to the San Diego Airport, where Greg Denny, still impersonating a U.S. Marshal, "informed Transportation Security Administration personnel that he was escorting a prisoner to a flight," the indictment states. [...]"   

Sauna bath 'competitor' cooked to perfection [08/07/10] "A finalist in Finland's World Sauna Championships has died after submitting himself to temperatures of more than 200 degrees F, organizers said. [...]"  Note:  That will do it, aside from a little butter to ease the finalist from the cabinet. PICTURES INCLUDED  What an INSANE kind of competition .... where the winner dies.

Dead man gets ticket for parking too long in two-hour zone [08/08/10] "The officer assumed the man was a sound sleeper and put a $42 parking violation on the car's windshield. (Seattle Times) [...]"     

Dispute between mime and Elvis impersonator heads to court [08/08/10] "A human statue claims that the Elvis impersonator -- wanting her sidewalk space -- "snuck up on me while I was working and grabbed my rear end." Their dispute had landed in federal court. (Boston Globe) [...]"   

Restaurant worker fined for terrorism dig [08/07/10] "A worker at a Chicago-area Subway restaurant was fined $75 for asking a Pakistani customer if he was a terrorist, a municipal prosecutor said. Arjunsinh Sindha, 64, was found guilty Thursday of a misdemeanor by a Lake County judge, the Lake County News-Sun reported. Zohaib Khan, of Waukegan, a Pakistani national living legally in the United States, said he had his encounter with Sindha at the Subway in North Chicago on May 5, a few days after a Pakistani-born man attempted a car bombing in New York. Khan said Sindha, after taking his order, approached him and said: "I heard you guys were recruiting more terrorists in New York. Are you one of them?" "I feel very good that justice is served and the judicial system responded. There is no excuse for racial remarks," Khan said after Thursday's verdict. [...]"  Note: Has to be a dull-witted sequential or a minion.

Turk accused of beating wife 'was dancing' [08/07/10] "A man accused of beating his wife tells a New Zealand court they were performing a traditional dance, not fighting. [...]"   

Former POW survived atomic bomb [08/07/10] "A Scottish soldier who was only 11 miles away from the center of Nagasaki when an atomic bomb was dropped on the Japanese city says the bomb saved his life. [...]"   

Pregnant woman tries to rob Taco John's to get drug money [08/06/10] "The drunk 38-year-old woman told the clerk: "I want a soft shell and this is a stickup. Give me all your money." She then tugged on the handle of a hammer in her pocket but couldn't work it free. The cashier pressed the restaurant's panic button and called 911 as the woman fled. (LaCrosse Tribune) [...]"  

Woman kicked off plane after reporting booze on pilot's breath [08/06/10] "Delta says "because the passenger continued to express concern even after the pilot was cleared that it would be best to re-accommodate her on another flight." The woman has hired an attorney. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) [...]"  

Sheriff busts breast-baring teens, guy who took photos of them [08/06/10] "The sheriff was driving around when two 15-year-old girls exposed their breasts at him. The cop also spotted a man snap a photo of the naked teens. All three were arrested. (HeraldTribune.com) [...]"  

British Tourist, Plunges Off Hotel Balcony While Sleepwalking [08/05/10] "A 28-year-old British tourist sleepwalked off of his Majorca hotel balcony, falling 35 feet, according to the Telegraph. Aled Thomas Davies suffered severe head and facial injuries and broke his leg when he fell three stories off of the balcony of the Lago Garden Hotel Apartments in Port d'Alcudia sometime during the night on Tuesday. His girlfriend alerted authorities around 8:30 am on Wednesday. She told investigators that he regularly sleepwalks. He was transferred to a hospital in Palma, where he will undergo surgery. Majorca's Civil Guard opened an investigation. A police spokesman told the Telegraph: Majorca's Civil Guard opened an investigation. A police spokesman told the Telegraph: "We are looking into the possibility that he fell accidentally from the balcony during a sleep walking episode."

Dick pleads guilty to exposing himself to woman near school [08/04/10] "This isn't the first time that Jerry Fitzgerald Dick has been in trouble with the law. (Greensboro News-Record) [...]"   

Girl emerges from coma after 100-foot fall [08/04/10] "Police in Lake Denton, Wis., said they were considering operator error in a theme park ride accident that left a Florida girl comatose for four days. [...]"  

Cooks Accuse Olive Oil Industry of Cheating on Extra Virgin Quality [08/04/10] "The olive oil industry charges a "hefty premium" for extra virgin olive oil that fails to meet international and U.S. standards, several California chefs, home cooks and restaurateurs claim in Superior Court. Samples from a June study "had defective flavors, such as rancid, fusty and musty," according to the cooks, who include David Martin from Bravo's "Top Chef." [...]"  

Court Revives Man's Case Against Police Chief [08/04/10] "The 8th Circuit has reinstated a business owner's lawsuit against a police chief who allegedly blocked the entrance to his body shop during a traffic stop and arrested the owner for asking him to move. [...]"   

Man, 72, punches 73-year-old wife for not making dinner correctly [08/04/10] "If she hasn't gotten it down by now, forget about it mister! A deputy says the husband "told me all [the wife] wants to do is fight with him and accuse him of stupid things." (TampaBay.com) [...]"  Note: Stupid things, like being married wasn't one of them. 

Cop Kills Boy on Bicycle [08/04/10] [3:02]  " Late one night in October, a 17-year-old on a bike was chased by a police officer in a cruiser. When the boy refused to stop, the officer aimed his Taser out the driver’s window and fired. The boy fell off the bike and the cruiser ran over him, killing him. [...]"    

"Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex" [08/04/10] Note: This is so funny .... geeze ... sigh. 

Early Graves singer killed in Oregon crash [08/04/10] "The lead singer for the death-metal band Early Graves was killed when the driver of the group's van fell asleep and crashed the vehicle in Oregon, police said. Justin H. Garcia, 24, was driving the van, carrying nine members of the California bands Early Graves and The Funeral Pyre, when he nodded off and lost control of it on Interstate 5 in Central Point early Monday. Early Graves vocalist Makh "Matikeef" P. Daniels, 28, was ejected from a rear cargo area and killed, the report said. Garcia, a guitarist for The Funeral Pyre, and passenger Tyler S. Jensen, 21, the guitarist for Early Graves, were treated by Rogue Valley Medical Center for non-life threatening injuries, the TV station said. [...]"    

Store clerk threatens to shoot man over bathroom use request [08/04/10] "Mahmoud Ahmed Alsharif, 47, went ballistic at Super Gas USA when a man asked to fill his water bottle in the bathroom. "I'm going to shoot you in the head!" said Alsharif, who then grabbed a silver baseball bat and followed the man and his two companions out of the store. (Minneapolis Star Tribune) [...]"  

Man gets probation for killing parrot that interrupted NASCAR race [08/04/10] "The 67-year-old man shot his family's 20-year-old African gray parrot to death with a pellet gun last year after the bird distracted him with its squawks as he watched a NASCAR race on TV. (Asbury Park Press) [...]"    

"Mystery compound may hold the key to cures" [08/03/10] "One of the world's most advanced microscopic scanners is being used to study bacteria taken from mud samples recovered from the deepest place on Earth — the Mariana Trench — in the search for new drug discoveries. The research project involves scientists at IBM Research in Zurich and Aberdeen University, who say their findings could pave the way for the creation of life-saving drugs by harnessing the potential of marine organisms. Aberdeen University's Marine Biodiscovery Centre was established to explore the use of ocean resources in treating diseases from cancer to bacterial infections. Since last year its researchers have been investigating a bacterium taken from a mud sample from the trench, almost seven miles below the surface of the Pacific. The pressure- tolerant bacterium, Dermacoccus abyssi, produced a mystery chemical compound that has now been identified using a scanning technique developed by IBM Research in Switzerland. Professor Marcel Jaspars, director of the discovery centre, said the collaboration could open new possibilities in drug discovery and treatments. [...]"  Note: Why relate the story of a 'mystery' compound at all, if the relevance of it to anything specific is not discussed? How stupid. So, this is apparently a PR stunt for the universities and marine center. Could it be the long-suppressed cure for "SCD" (sequential cognitive disorder) which creates such an air of planet-wide stupidity? 

UK:  "Remains of St John the Baptist 'found'" [08/03/10] "Bone fragments of St John the Baptist appear to have been found on Sveti Ivan Island near Bulgaria's southern Black Sea. He is considered one of the most important figures in christianity. Further tests are still to be carried out on the fragments, which were discovered late last month." Note:  Somehow, they don't know that we know they're buffoons and losers, have no 'common sense', logic, or reason, and can't function. Small island. Small gene pool.

Butt Shaker Wins Workers' Comp Appeal [08/02/10] "A water district employee who said "hello" to a co-worker by shaking his butt might be entitled to workers' compensation benefits after the co-worker accidentally hit him with a truck trying to return the unusual greeting, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled. [...]"  

Men offered wood blocks as laptops [08/02/10] "Authorities in Mississippi said they arrested two men who were allegedly trying to sell blocks of wood disguised as laptop computers. [...]"  Note:  Got wood?

Robber called Wendy's to complain [08/02/10] "Atlanta police said a robber who was not satisfied with his $586 take in a Wendy's robbery called the restaurant twice to complain about the amount. [...]"     

Man arrested for using air horn to protest neighbor's "hippie tunes" [08/02/10] "Carl Herold, 62, said he was tired of constantly calling police to complain about the "hippie tunes" coming from across the street, so he got an air horn and "I just started blasting it." He was arrested. WCFCourier.com) [...]"   

Police: Drunk woman called 911 for a date [08/02/10] "Police in Ohio arrested a woman accused of drunkenly dialing 911 and telling dispatchers she was looking for a date. [...]"   

Cop steals marijuana off dead victim [08/02/10] "Cop steals marijuana off dead victim of car accident, gets caught WRCBtv July 19, 2010 A Cleveland Officer has been dismissed for mishandling evidence. Roger Smith admitted he lied to police after keeping marijuana that was found in the pocket of Dustin Ledford, the victim of the fatal crash on APD-40 last weekend.  [...]" 

County justice of the peace arrested for jailing kids with unpaid 'truancy' fines [08/02/10] "An Hidalgo County Judge finds herself on the other side of the bench after being indicted. Judge Mary Alice Palacios is accused of sending kids to jail for months at a time, because they couldn't pay their truancy fine. [...]"   

Man beaten by 14-year-old boy for listening to rap music [08/01/10] "The boy, who police say may have known the 22-year-old man, told the guy to stop listening to the rap music, "because he was white," and that, "white people shouldn't listen to rap music," says a police spokeswoman. The teen then struck the rap fan. (Florida Today) [...]"    

Cheeseburger stuffed in car's gas tank causes $1,000 damage [08/01/10] "A 30-year-old woman took her car into the shop after noticing it wasn't running right. A mechanic found the burger, along with a pickle. (Charlotte Observer) [...]"   

Man in stolen car tries to trade drugs for McDonald's burgers [07/30/10] "The drive-thru deal never went down and the guy was arrested. (TampaBay.com) [...]"   

George Carlin - Religion is bullshit [07/30/10] [10:13]  Note: See more at the Carlin link above.

Man sent to jail after going on fiberglass cows vandalism spree [07/29/10] "The guy's foot was broken when one of the 150-pound cows fell on him. || Related: Vermont city deputizes "cow posse." (Associated Press) [...]"  Related:  Vermont city deputizes "cow posse"  

Cops gun down rampaging pregnant cow at California State Fair [07/29/10] Sadly, neither the cow nor her calf survived the shooting. (Sacramento Bee)" [...]"  

Girl who spiked mom's juice with Lysol is 'sweet' when on her meds [07/29/10] "I'm mentally devastated that my daughter would try to hurt me like that," says the mother. I don't want her in jail ... she needs hospitalization." The 17-year-old girl "is a totally different person" when she's off her meds, notes the mom. (Fosters.com) [...]"  

Boy falls 28 stories to death in Calgary [07/28/10] "A 10-year-old boy plummeted 28 stories from a Calgary, Alberta, apartment high-rise balcony to his death Tuesday, authorities said. Police investigators said it appeared the fall was accidental, the Calgary Herald reported. Duty inspector Steve Ellefson told the newspaper the boy was last seen reading on the balcony, but no one saw him during the moments before he was spotting falling. [...]"   

Man Injured by Suicide Jumper Can't Sue Hotel [07/28/10] "A cable technician who was hit by a falling suicide victim cannot collect damages from the New Orleans hotel from which the victim jumped, a Louisiana appeals court ruled. [...]"   

PA: Man with fake breasts, clown pants arrested for robbing bank [07/27/10] "He was covered in red dye that exploded all over him when he tried to open the money he took from the bank. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) [...]"  Note: Betcha this guy has one hell of an astrological chart. 

Woman 2, thugs 0 after home invasion [07/26/10] "She was doing as police recommend in robberies – comply with a robber's demands. But her Lady Smith & Wesson .38 special, which she carries by permit, was hidden in her purse – and the purse was being held by one of the attackers. Then the situation, suddenly, got much, much worse: One of the robbers demanded that she take off her clothes. [...]"    

'Sleepy' iguana awakens, frightens woman [07/26/10] "A woman carrying a sleepy 5-foot iguana she found while walking home in Stockholm, Sweden, panicked when it woke up, officials said. [...]"    

Pooping pigeons interrupt Mo. rock concert [07/25/10] "The call of nature overcame the call to rock at a St. Louis concert venue when the Kings of Leon were forced offstage by a barrage of pigeon poop. [...]"   

St. Louis 'torture chamber' discovered [07/24/10] "An abandoned St. Louis warehouse was turned into a human slaughterhouse where a homeless man was killed, dismembered and set on fire, police say. [...]"  Note:  In a country where the "SAW" series has been voted the best horror series .... why is this no surprise? Psychopathic stuff.

Driver involved in fatal crash while painting nails gets 18 months [07/24/10] "The 49-year-old woman, who was painting her nails when she struck and killed a motorcyclist, was sentenced to 18 months of periodic imprisonment. (She's allowed to be out and about during the day.) Prosecutors wanted a prison sentence. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"   

Man decked out in Darth Vader mask robs NY bank [07/23/10] "A man donning a Darth Vader mask at a New York bank has entered the dark side. Police say the man entered a Chase bank branch on Long Island on Thursday, displayed a gun and demanded money. A surveillance camera caught the "Star Wars" character wearing a blue cape and camouflage pants. The bandit escaped from the Setauket bank with an undetermined amount of cash. The robbery comes about a week after another bank robber, dubbed the "bouquet bandit," held up a Manhattan bank. Authorities say Edward Pemberton used a flower bouquet to conceal a note demanding cash during a $440 bank heist July 15. They say he used a potted plant as a similar prop in a holdup at another bank earlier this month. [...]"  

Smart phone, really dumb thief [07/23/10] "Police in San Francisco said a mugger was arrested after stealing an iPhone while it was being used to demonstrate new GPS tracking software. [...]"   

Edmonton artists 'shocked' that victims' murals, with gory pictures, are removed from art piece by UN  [07/22/10] "Two Edmonton artists are shocked that part of their internationally renowned work, The Gun Sculpture, was subject to censorship at a United Nations exhibition in Vienna this summer after pressure from the Chinese delegation. The 4.5-tonne sculpture, welded together from deactivated guns, landmines and ammunition, has been shown in many countries, including at UN headquarters in New York in 2001, and has never run into problems, said artist Sandra Bromley, who built the sculpture with Wallis Kendal. Besides the weapons, the exhibit includes panels with photographs of more than 100 victims of violence from dozens of countries, including two images of Tibetan nuns. All the photographs were removed in an act of "blunt censorship," said Bromley. That happened after the Chinese objected to exhibit organizers and other UN departments at the UN's Vienna International Centre. China invaded Tibet in 1950, and has suppressed several uprisings in the Himalayan country. The two parts of the exhibit must be displayed together to "maintain the integrity of the art", said Bromley, noting that the 114 photos have been displayed at every stop. Text with each image is displayed separately. "We were absolutely shocked," said Bromley. "This was done without any consultation or permission."   Note: They were removing the gory pictures, not censoring the stupid 'sculpture'. It looks like a Borg cube from Star Trek. Resistance is futile. They're dumb as shit. See Invisible Holocaust: Mountains of Dead Children and “the World’s Greatest Democracy” for so much more that the conceptually-challenged world body seems to 'allow' .... but no pictures ... they want it perceptually sterile to ease their conscience, perhaps, while everyone on the planet sees them for the duplicitous buffoons they are. 

I am NOT blind,’ Pastor Warren tweets after pruning accident [07/22/10] "Warren was pruning a firestick plant in his yard on Monday when got some sap on his hands, wiped his brow and "immediately experienced excruciating pain in both eyes," according to his publicist A. Larry Ross. His wife, Kay, called 911 and an emergency squad rushed him to Mission Hospital in Mission Viejo, Calif., where he stayed overnight before his release on Tuesday. Warren tweeted, "Thank you for your prayers for my eyes. Another doctor visit this PM. May God use this pain for his glory. Rom. 8:28"  Earlier, Warren said in his Tweet: "My eyes were severely burned by a toxic poison. Hospitalized Mon. Excruciating pain. Now home. Pray my sight loss is restored" [...]"  Note: No, he's not blind, but .... it's 'eyes wide shut' for him. Blind leading the blind, manifest.

Man fires at party guests for making fun of his vodka selection [07/22/10] "The guy brought a bottle of Nuvo, a sparkling vodka that other guests said looked like a lipstick cap. That -- and implications that he was gay -- set the guy off. (San Antonio Express-News) [...]"  Note: Well, I guess that means he really is ... otherwise, why all the 'undoing'?   

Illinois man's legs crushed by falling tree [07/22/10] "The legs of an Illinois adult Boy Scout leader were crushed when a 15-inch diameter tree fell on his tent early Thursday morning, officials said. [...]"  

"Skull and Bones Member Christopher Buckley Explains: Why You Can't Trust Anyone" [07/22/10] "With ''friends'' here in Washington, D.C., who needs spies next door? ... Thirty or forty times a year I board an airplane and buckle myself in, trusting that the pilot has not spent the night doing shots of Jägermeister or snorting lines of cocaine off the bare breasts of a hooker. And then some years ago came the comical (sort of) story about the pilot who, as the plane lumbered down the taxiway, was heard by the tower singing, "Somewhere over the rainbow." He was bombed. So in the end we're all trusting fools, to one degree or another. Do we have much choice in the matter, at the practical level? [...]"  

MN: Candidate not allowed to use "NOT the whiteman's bitch" slogan [07/22/10] "Ieshuh Griffin says she's going to sue Wisconsin election officials for not putting her slogan under her name on the ballot. "I'm not making a derogatory statement toward an ethnic group. I'm stating what I'm not," Griffin told board members. "It's my constitutional right to freedom of speech." Unlike candidates from the established Democratic and Republican parties, independents are allowed a five-word statement of purpose on the ballot to explain to voters what their candidacy is about. ... Shane Falk, a staff attorney for the Accountability Board, said that the board had the ability to restrict obscene or derogatory candidate statements from the ballot. The board staff ruled that the statement was derogatory and should not be allowed. With one member absent, the board voted 3-2 in favor of reversing that ruling and allowing the wording. Under state law, however, four votes are needed for the board to act. As a result, the staff decision stands, and Griffin will be on the ballot with "independent" by her name and nothing else. Falk noted that Griffin was still free to use the phrase in her campaign literature and any ads she might run. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel) [...]"  Note: Geeze, I guess she must be 'someone else's bitch', then. Minionesque flavor to that. I can't wait to hear about the television ad she might have in mind.

OH: Twisted Worker Takes 'Guys and Dolls' Concept to New Low [07/22/10] "A Hamilton County morgue worker had sex with the corpses of three women who had been brought in for autopsies, the families claim in Federal Court. The families say that Kenneth Douglas, who is in prison, also "drank alcohol and took drugs during working hours and had sexual relations while on the premises with women who visited the staff at night," during his 15 years with the county morgue. [...]"     

FL: Man uses crucifix to break into catholic church's donation box [07/22/10]  Note: It's a ready-made tool for bashing and prying - the catholics leave them laying around all the time. You'd think they'd learn that it's cutting into their 'prophets'.

UK:  Boy, 15, killed in M23 accident [07/22/10] "A 15-year-old boy dies after being hit by several vehicles, including an unmarked police car and an ambulance. [...]"   

Illinois Town Wants To Outlaw Eye-Rolling [07/21/10] "Next time you're in line at the grocery store and you roll your eyes at the person with two carts full of items refusing to leave the 10-items-or-fewer line, you might be in trouble with the law -- at least if you live in Elmhurst, Illinois. Officials of the Chicago suburb are looking into finding a way of putting an end to the practice by legal means. The idiocy stems from a recent city council meeting where an Elmhurst resident was ejected from the room after rolling her eyes in reaction to something that was said by a council member. [...] Members of the Elmhurst city council have asked the City Attorney to look into the creation of a "disturbance and disorderly conduct" violation and to see if eye-rolling could somehow be shoehorned into its definition."  Note: Sequentials in charge ...can't do this ... can't say that ... they wish to co-opt the experience of others ... 

SC: Woman stuffs McDonald's burger down pants to get a free one [07/21/10] "The 39-year-old drunk woman ordered two sandwiches and two small coffees. She stuffed one sandwich down her pants, then claimed she was shorted one. She began demanding another free one sandwich and was arrested for being belligerent. (GoUpState.com) [...]"   

Mexican smuggled 18 monkeys in his clothes [07/21/10] "A man is arrested in Mexico trying to smuggle 18 monkeys into the country by hiding them in a girdle around his waist. [...]"  Note:  I can't imagine trying one monkey.

GA: Atlanta credit union CEO killed by police [07/21/10] "The head of a Georgia credit union, in New Jersey to attend a high school reunion, was shot and killed by a sheriff's deputy in a Newark park, police said.  DeFarra "Dean" Gaymon, 48, died Friday evening at a hospital in Newark, about three hours after he was shot in the chest, The Star-Ledger of Newark reported. Investigators said the sheriff's deputy was in Branch Brook Park responding to a call about people having sex in the park and was attempting to arrest Gaymon.  They said Gaymon "tussled" with the deputy. A law enforcement source told the newspaper that Gaymon's "life must have flashed before his eyes, and he went into a panic." Gaymon, who graduated from Montclair High School in 1980, had been one of the organizers of the 30th reunion, held last Friday at a North Jersey hotel. A graduate of Benedict College in South Carolina, he worked for a New Jersey bank and a South Carolina credit union before becoming president and CEO of Credit Union of Atlanta four years ago. He lived in Suwanee, Ga., with his wife and four children. "Nobody's perfect, but he was the closest thing to perfection," said Joyce Brogdon, a high school friend. "He told me he was going to make VP by 40. He did. He was going be CEO. He was. He had the perfect life. He married his high school sweetheart." The Essex County prosecutor's office is investigating the shooting. [...]"  

 Outer Limits and Sci-Fi Satire

 "The dark parasitic organism permitting telepathic control is transferred from the Bush body to the Obama body .... 
 out one ear and in the other. Bush falls silent .. Obama perks up .... time goes on ..." Oh if it were only that simple ...

 

IL: Chicago salon owner brags about wealth, is kidnapped by jealous client [07/19/10] "A Cicero beauty salon owner who discussed her wealth in front of customers was kidnapped by a jealous client, police say. Blanca Solis, 38, allegedly recruited her husband Marco Cadenas, 35, and three other men into the plot after overhearing Zita Paniagua, 45, describe her family holdings and assets at Salon Impresiones, 4902 West Cermak.  [...]"  Note:  Impressions were certainly made.

IA: Drunk goes ballistic after man refuses to 'hug it out' with him [07/19/10] "Dominique J. Conway, 23, got mad after he tried to hug a man and was pushed away. He responded by punching and denting the hood of a Ford Explorer and slugging the “would-be hug recipient” in the face. (Iowa City Press-Citizen) [...]"   

FL: Gun Owner Stops Men Dressed As FBI Agents Attempting Break Into His Home [07/19/10] [3:16] 

FL: Woman flashes her breasts while being booked for drunk-driving [07/19/10] "The arresting deputy didn’t see it happen, but the nudity was caught on tape. The woman also tried to bite the officer, "but bit herself in the process,” the arrest report reads. (Northwest Florida Daily News) [...]"  Note: An impromptu glandular display will get her nowhere, as she has discovered.

CA: Grieving Widow Says Insurance Agent Stunned Her & Her Family [07/19/10] "A grieving widow claims an insensitive insurance agent stood up before 250 mourners at her husband's funeral and said, "Who would have ever thought 10 years ago, when David and Irene signed up, that Irene would be set for life at such a young age?" Irene Cervantes says the mourners were "uniformly horrified." She sued the agent, Primerica Life Insurance and Citigroup for intentional infliction of emotional distress and other charges. [...]"    

WA: Miss Manners Needed in Aisle 7 [07/19/10] "After a Lowe's customer told an employee she "did not have all day" to wait for him to check the price of an item, he knocked her down and beat her until her husband pulled him off, the unhappy customer says. In her complaint in Thurston County Court, Vicky Means claims that the clerk, Michael Marzano, suffers from disabilities and was not properly supervised. "Defendant Lowes, upon Plaintiff's information and belief, gave defendant Michael Marzano, more responsibility than he was capable of accepting, which led to the assault and battery. He also should not have been expected and directed to interact with customers," the complaint states. Means and her husband seek damages for assault, battery and negligence. [...]"    

CO: Inmates say they witnessed man's death when jailers restrained, shocked him repeatedly [07/19/10] "Marvin Booker just wanted to get his shoes. But deputies at the new Denver jail told him to stop. When Booker, who was being processed on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia, didn't obey, he was held down, hit with electric shocks and then placed facedown in a holding cell, according to two inmates who watched it unfold. Booker never got up. He was pronounced dead later that morning. Marvin Booker was a homeless pastor whose death at the Denver jail is being investigated. [...]"  Note: Booker failed to realize what is immediately obvious to anyone paying attention inside a jail. In the penal system, you MUST defer immediately, under whatever penalty they can dream up. A simple man, he just should have sat down when told to, under the circumstances at 3am, after wandering up to the desk in his socks ... they do not like a 'free individual spirit' existing inside anyone, because they're largely sadistic -- penal institutions, and such, are the only ones who will employ people who are like this -- part of the 6% of the population that are psychopathic, just like some of those inside the very institutions they staff.

MO: Jailer's Daughter Describes Violence [07/19/10] "The former head of the Washington County jail was indicted on federal charges of assaulting inmates and coercing a violent inmate to assault others. The man's daughter, a jail officer, described her father's actions in her own plea agreement. [...]"    

UT: "Diddle Fizz" : Pregnant with Two Uteruses, Two Due Dates [07/19/10] "A Utah woman is pregnant with two babies, but they're not twins. Angie Cromar was born with a rare condition called didelphys, which means she has two uteruses. It didn't pose a problem for her previous pregnancies, and the 34-year-old has given birth to two healthy children before.  But this time, she's conceived in both uteruses. During her first ultrasound exam, Cromar and her doctor discovered that she's carrying two fetuses at different stages of development, one slightly older than the other.  The chances of this happening are estimated to be one in five million. "Probably less than 100, so far, worldwide, have been reported," Terry said. [...]"  Note:  Two minions crammed in there, no doubt. Not enough time for a 'normal length' incarnational experience for a Higher Self. They may just be born when they'' be sent back again ... and they're not coming back as a pair of ficus plants. Not time for that, either.

Nursing home resident, 101, dies when teen's prank goes awry [07/18/10] "An 18-year-old woman tried to startle two guys who were sitting on her car trunk by revving the engine. She accidentally put the car into reverse instead of neutral and hit the accelerator instead of the brake. The car broke through a brick wall into the 101-year-old woman's room. (Argus Leader [...]"   

Man accused of seeking bomb on Craigslist [07/18/10] "A Madison, Wis., man faces criminal charges after he allegedly posted an ad on Craigslist.com seeking someone to build him a bomb, police said. [...]"   

Truck driver crashes due to pork rinds [07/18/10] "Police in Washington state said a FedEx semi-truck driver lost control of his vehicle and crashed into a ditch when he choked on some spicy pork rinds. [...]"   

Man allegedly tried to rob police station [07/17/10] "Police in the Japanese city of Kesennuma said a man armed with a knife was arrested when he attempted to rob a police station. [...]"  

Hooker sets disabled boyfriend on fire for not giving her money [07/17/10] "She allegedly got out the gas can after striking a match near a hair spray can to "spook him" didn't do the job. (Chicago Sun-Times) [...]"  

Women Claim Boss Smelled Their Feet [07/17/10] "Two women who worked at a Massage Envy franchise claim their boss offered them money to smell their feet. One claims that after he "forcefully grabbed" her feet and took off her shoes, he "sniffed them in a lustful manner." The other woman claims franchise owner John Johnson offered her "up to $30,000 per month" and a BMW if she would let him do it. [...]"   

Teenager survives plane crash that kills 4 [07/17/10] "A 13-year-old Israeli boy was the only survivor of a private plane crash in Michigan that killed his grandfather, two sisters and a cousin, officials say. [...]"  

Elderly Couple Dies While Trapped In Home Elevator [07/17/10] "When the elevator in their home got stuck between floors, Sherwood and Caroline Wadsworth found themselves trapped with no way to call for help as temperatures rose into the 90s. They finally died from heat exhaustion in the closet-sized lift. .... Autopsies on the elderly couple – he was 90, she was 89 – on Thursday pointed to a tragic end to lives they shared for more than 60 years. It's just tragic," Doering said. "We all know one day we're going to die. This is one of those horrible ones where you're stuck somewhere. [...] "

Man fires shots after thinking he's being attacked by clowns [07/16/10] "Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns. The 40-year-old man, armed with a shotgun, had fired several shots in his mother's home. It also appeared that he fired a shot at his mother and visiting father as they fled from the home in a vehicle, said St. Croix County Sheriff Dennis Hillstead. "Pellets probably hit their windshield," Hillstead said.  Police arrived about 4 a.m. and surrounded the home. The man came to the door at one point and was "yelling at what he could see in the yard, but there was nothing there," Hillstead said. The man went back into the home and fired more rounds, Hillstead said. In total, about 22 shotgun rounds were fired into the walls and ceiling of the home. The man then went to the porch with the shotgun in hand and a bag of ammunition around his neck. He did not respond to police commands, but after the man slipped and fell, deputies were able to take him into custody, Hillstead said. While being taken to a hospital for examination, the man indicated he had taken a hallucinogenic drug. He said he believed that people dressed as clowns were attacking his mother's home and that he had shot and killed a number of them, Hillstead said. He also said he had shot dogs that were attacking him and that his mother had been shot and killed. "He was ... not in touch with reality," Hillstead said. No one was injured in the incident.  The man, who was visiting from Arizona, is being held in a mental facility while he undergoes a psychological evaluation, Hillstead said Tuesday. He has not been charged with a crime, and police have not released his name. (St. Paul Pioneer Press)" 

'Fail-Safe' Parachute Wasn't, Mom Says [07/16/10] "A mother claims a "fail-safe" parachute failed to open, sending her daughter hurtling to her death. The mother seeks damages from Airtec, the German company that made the Expert Cypres 2 device, and from the companies that supplied and sold it. [...]"  

Man, 90, admits hammer killing of wife [07/16/10] "A 90-year-old New York state man has admitted he killed his wife with a hammer, pleading guilty to a reduced charge of first-degree manslaughter. State Supreme Court Justice Russell Buscaglia scheduled sentencing for Sept. 7 and ordered more psychiatric testing. A relative found the body of 89-year-old Virginia Bunz on March 21 in the apartment she and her husband shared in a retirement community. Bunz was also there with wounds suggesting he had tried to take his own life. [...]" 

Man who shot six called ex 'unstable' [07/16/10] "A New Mexico man who shot six people at his ex-girlfriend's office, killing two, called police last year to complain she had assaulted him, police said. [...]"     

Woman gives bogus story to cops after crashing during oral sex [07/15/10] "Sara Blasse, 23, reported she was carjacked at gunpoint and broke her arm after she was thrown from her vehicle, but police say made up that story. The truth: Blasse's SUV crashed while she performed oral sex on the man who was driving it. (Is this her?) (CourierPostOnline.com) [...]"  

One-armed man nicknamed Lefty charged with unarmed robbery [07/15/10] "The 28-year-old man is accused of robbing a 58-year-old man of his wallet. (Mass Live.com) [...]"  

UK:  Doctors To Paralyzed Man: "Blink, And You'll Live" [07/14/10] "A man who was left paralysed and seemingly unable to communicate following a traffic accident was saved from having his life support machine turned off when he managed to blink three times to tell doctors that he did not want to die. Richard Rudd's family had been agonising about turning off life support, his father said, after his son had said he would not want to live in a paralysed state. But his son's remarkable response raises questions about when life should end and about how and when a family can decide if their loved one has suffered enough. [...]"     

Amish couple held up in horse-drawn buggy [07/14/10] "Police said they were searching for four men who tried rob a couple in a horse-drawn buggy at gunpoint, stunning a tranquil Amish community in New York state. [...]"   

Woman Gets 9 Years for Sex With Son She Gave Up [07/14/10] "A Detroit area woman was sentenced to 9 to 30 years in prison for having sex with the 14-year-old son she gave up for adoption as an infant. Aimee L. Sword, 36, tracked down the boy on Facebook and the two soon had sex in a hotel room and area homes. “When she saw this boy, it wasn’t a mother-son relationship, it was a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship,” her attorney told the Detroit Free Press. “Aimee’s searching for a reason why this happened. She can’t understand it. She’s going to get some counseling.” Sword apologized in court. She was married at the time with 5 children. The boy eventually discussed the sex with a counselor, who alerted police. The prosecutor called it a "very tragic case," and said he was "concerned for this young boy and what it may have done to his psyche and his future." [...]"  Note:  Sequentials are predisposed to do this ... there are situations where they remember each other, or they're familiar with each other .... having been together in another life , and this life is just a continuation of that relationship...

UK: Human skull discovered off coast [07/14/10] "A human skull is washed up in Morecambe Bay in Lancashire, where the victims of two tragedies remain missing. [...]"  Note: Well, I guess they found one of them, didn't they? 

Sinister Russian sect used child abuse as 'enlightenment' [07/14/10]  [2:36]  "In a Central Russian city, a group claiming to be a self-improvement foundation is at the center of allegations of performing sex acts which were witnessed by children. The group, dubbed a sect, has been operating for many years and claimed it could help anyone who wanted to develop emotionally and spiritually.  [...]"  

Police: Robber had cane, oxygen tank [07/14/10] "New York police said a geriatric robber with a cane and an oxygen tank fired three shots at a clothing store before fleeing empty handed.  Police sources told the New York Post the man, believed to be in his 70s, announced a stickup at 9 p.m. Friday at high-end clothing store Sarar and fired off a round at a fleeing customer. The man also fired off two rounds at the manager, but none of the bullets hit anyone, the sources said. They said one of the bullets tore through eight suits and came to rest in the jacket pocket of the ninth. "You want one? You want another one?" the sources quoted the man as saying while shooting at the manager. The suspect fled in a black Cadillac, police said. [...]"   

Drunk man bitten by crocodile [07/14/10] "A man ejected from a pub in Australia broke into a zoo and climbed onto the back of a crocodile named Fatso, which bit him on the leg but let him go. [...]"    

Man with prosthetic leg set on fire after losing drinking game [07/13/10] "He was found nude on the side of the highway with his prosthetic leg in flames. He told investigators that since he drank only six beers, the least amount, he agreed to let his friends set him on fire. (Las Cruces Sun-News) [...]"  

Man who plowed SUV into strip club planned to kill his sister [07/13/10] "The man -- who had been evicted after vomiting in the club's VIP section -- told Madison, Wis. police that he was from Racine and had come into town to cut his sister's head off. Police found a knife in his vehicle. (Wisconsin State Journal) [...]"   

FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus [07/12/10] "As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either. Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat. "She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it." If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.  [...]"  Related:  Man ends up in wrong lane, crashes after removing shoes while driving 

Boy, 9, accidentally kills brother, 2 [07/12/10] "The shooting death of a 2-year-old Los Angeles boy by his 9-year-old brother was an accident, police said Sunday. [...]"  Note: Interesting interaction relative to two Higher Selves ... cui bono? The other people in their lives .... 

Man who shot fiancée one day before wedding faces investigation [07/11/10] "He was crying when he told a 911 operator he thought his fiancee was an intruder, but her family is suspicious and says the woman's life savings had disappeared. (Orlando Sentinel) [...]"   

Goalkeeper's lover 'fed to dogs' [07/09/10] "The ex-lover of Brazilian goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes was strangled and her body fed to dogs, police say. [...]"   

'Barefoot Bandit' To Blame For Bahamas Burglaries, Say Police [07/09/10] "The wily resourcefulness of a fugitive teenage thief was on display again Thursday as he eluded an intensifying manhunt on a sparsely populated island in the Bahamas – while earning some grudging respect from locals. Soldiers in camouflage uniforms and police armed with shotguns fanned out with German shepherds as the search for Colton Harris-Moore entered its fifth day on Great Abaco Island, where police believe he has been hiding out since ditching a stolen plane offshore. Authorities suspect the teen dubbed the "Barefoot Bandit" has been hiding in thick groves of trees and emerging at night to break into homes and shops and steal provisions. [...]"   

Bizarre Tale of Cop v. Cop [07/08/10] "A retired police officer claims that his next-door neighbor, also a cop, stalked and threatened him, falsely accused him of being a pedophile, and illegally wiretapped his computer. He claims that the intrusive cop, Monroe County's first deputy trained in computer forensics at Quantico, Va., was convicted of felony eavesdropping and misdemeanor official misconduct. [...]"   

Man holds mom hostage after she refuses to iron his clothes [07/08/10] "Robert Edward Tyrrell Jr., 29, who lives with his parents, pulled out a gun and took his 51-year-old mother's keys and cellphones. He refused to let her leave for at least six hours, investigators said. Tyrrell had told his mother that "ironing is women's work." (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) [...]"  Note: Moron. The prison laundry would be an ironic choice for a job ... because he's 'gonna be somebody's bitch'....

Man steals tractor from construction site to go on beer run [07/08/10] "About 11 p.m. Friday, a deputy pulled over a man driving a Massey Ferguson box blade tractor west on Wisteria Loop. The tractor had been stolen from a roadside construction site, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office report. Deputies said the driver, Heath Cannon, reeked of alcohol. "I'm sorry, I drove the tractor to the RaceTrac to buy a beer," Cannon, 43, told deputies, according to the report. (TampaBay.com) [...]"    

Man robbed after refusing to have sex with woman with bad teeth [07/08/10] "The two talked about a spaghetti dinner and the possibility of having sex, but the guy decided against it after seeing the woman's teeth. She then robbed him. (Gainesville Sun) [...]"   

OH: Woman, 31, poses as 14-year-old boy to get close to teen girl [07/07/10] "Patricia Dye at 4 feet, 11 inches, is smaller than the 5-foot-5 victim. "They were boyfriend-girlfriend. Dye looks just like a boy." Dye has been charged with unlawful sexual conduct with and corruption of a 16-year-old girl. (Dayton Daily News) [...]"    

Chuck E. Cheese Settles Molesting Mascot Suit [07/07/10] "A Missouri woman who claimed a Chuck E. Cheese mascot groped her breast has settled her lawsuit against the operator of the restaurant chain, On Point has learned. more [...]"   

7-year-old steers boat into fatal crash [07/07/10] "A Virginia woman was killed when her 7-year-old son, allowed to operate a 20-foot boat, accidentally steered it under a pier, police said. [...]"   

"Why people think Americans are stupid & arrogant" [07/06/10] [2:09]  Note: A woman from some southern US state grapples with a 3rd grade geography question. I'm sure she's 'nice', but clearly her experiences and awareness of the world fall short of her being qualified to be on that program. She just is as she is. If you went to ANY country and surveyed the population, you would find plenty of people who are ignorant of a lot of things. Since it's always been that way, everywhere, the only actual function of this stuff is "an 'us vs. them' mocking", which is within the spectrum of sequential predispositions. 

Naked drunk misses home by 20 miles [07/06/10] "San Diego police say an "honest mistake" led a drunken partier to get undressed and fall asleep in a condo nearly 20 miles from his own home. "This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home, which is in Mission Valley," Police Lt. Jim Filley told The San Diego Union-Tribune. "We think it was an honest mistake." Mistake or not, the naked interloper was way off target. The condo he was found in Sunday morning was in Pacific Beach, a bar-heavy neighborhood on the other side of Interstate 5 from Mission Valley. The homeowner who discovered the house guest apparently agreed with the conclusion of the investigating officers and declined to press charges. The suspect was allowed to go to his real home to reconstruct the night's events. "He was sober by then, so he got dressed and went on his way," Filley said. [...]" 

Outlook Good for 'Miracle' Two-Headed Calf: Dark Side of Depleted Uranium in the Middle East? [07/05/10] "A farmer in northern Egypt says his cow has given birth to a two-headed calf that he calls a "divine miracle." Sobhy el-Ganzoury said Saturday it took two hours and much pulling to deliver the rare calf. He said the difficult birth weakened the calf's legs. The farmer said the veterinarian informed him that the calf, which was born this week, is now in stable condition and is expected to survive. El-Ganzoury said he intends to keep the animal as a reminder that "God is able to do anything." The calf still can't stand up because of its heavy heads and weak legs, and is being fed her mother's milk with a baby bottle. [...]"  Note: An abomination appreciated by minions only. Chronic indecision in nature. Twins? Yes? No? Yes? No?

"Addictive" McDonald’s McNuggets made with ‘Silly Putty’ chemical [07/05/10] "CNN has revealed that the fast-food chain makes this popular menu item with the chemical preservative tBHQ, tertiary butylhydroquinone, a petroleum-based product. Mcnuggets also contain dimethylpolysiloxane, "an anti-foaming agent" also used in Silly Putty. [...]"  Note:  Explosive results when you get home. If someone was constipated, these will do the trick. 

Satire: Mytron The Fifth, Illuminati Ruler And Secret Overlord Of All Humanity, Dead At 112  [07/05/10] 2,000 MILES BENEATH BAVARIA, GERMANY "Mytron the Fifth, Illuminati ruler and secret mastermind of the entire human race since the year 8449 on the world's true calendar, died yesterday in his subterranean bedchamber. He was 112. Mytron, who assumed clandestine dominion of the planet upon the sudden withering of Hemmonphanes the Ancient, was perhaps best known for engineering more than 200 wars, economic catastrophes, and famines, and for having psychokinetic control over the inner thoughts of every man, woman, and child on earth. "He'll be missed," said a longtime friend and Roman Catholic archbishop who declined to be identified. Mytron is survived by 251 offspring, primarily from his human wives."  

Satire: Physicist Brings In Particle From Home He's Been Meaning To Accelerate  [07/05/10] "Hoping to use his office's high-energy synchrotron particle accelerator for a "real quick" personal project, physicist Neil Lippmann reportedly brought in a proton from home Wednesday that he had been meaning to collide against a fixed nickel target at near light speed. "I know we're not supposed to accelerate personal particles on company equipment, but [Nobel laureate] Leon [Lederman] brings in his own subatomic matter all the time and nobody says anything," Lippmann said. "Plus, I'll do it after five, so it's not even on company time." To assuage any further guilt over the workplace rule infraction, Lippmann promised to clean all the leptons out of the accelerator's ion trap and leave the Van de Graaf generator looking just like new. [...]"  

Satire: "Restoration Of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses " [07/05/10] Video clip [2:37] "Get your fill of patriotic celebratory rituals over the July 4 weekend? Or maybe you’re kind of over it all, which would put you in just the right frame of mind to watch this rather irreverent little musical number conjured up by the the Onion’s twisted humorists. [...]"  

Satire: "Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming" [07/05/10]   Video clip [2:20] 

Satire: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels  [07/05/10] "Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level. Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his "most humble apologies" to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years. "This is absolutely unacceptable," Pope Benedict said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."  "And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood," he continued. "They should know that they're only allowed one small child every other month."  The pope said he was deeply disappointed to learn that the number of children sexually abused by priests was almost 10 times beyond the allowable limit clearly outlined in church doctrine. Admitting for the first time in public that the overindulgent touching of "tender, tender young flesh" had become a full-blown crisis, the Holy Father vowed to implement new reforms to bring the pedophilia rate back down to five children per 1,000 clergy. "The truth is there will always be a little bit of molestation—it's simply unavoidable," Vatican spokesperson Rev. Federico Lombardi said. "But the fact that young boys have gotten much more attractive over the past few decades is no excuse for the blatant defiance of church limits that have been in place for centuries." [...]"    

Satire: Experts Say Breakfast Now Sixth Most Important Meal Of The Day [07/05/10] "A new report from the Food and Drug Administration has found that breakfast, once considered the most important meal of the day, has now slipped to sixth place, below brunch and just above midnight snack. "Significant gains by lunch and dessert badly damaged breakfast's standing in the late 1990s," culinary analyst Myron Jeffries said. "Add to that the blockbuster debut of second-breakfast in 2007 and a renewed interest in leftover-pizza pre-lunch, and breakfast is in a downward spiral it may never recover from. Especially considering the popularity of super-brunch." The makers of Eggo frozen waffles reportedly expressed no concern at the news, as waffle-dinner is still holding strong at No. 3 "    

Satire: Ant Colony Comes To Halt After Death Of Popular Worker  [07/05/10] "The transportation of nourishing bread crumbs came to an abrupt halt Thursday morning when ant colony 000082567KLN00067X collectively paused to remember the life of veteran worker FL77542PM4. Workers HJ997462M and IK002620FC secreted primer pheromones to signal the start of the solemn moment, and Queen XHB004-65B memorialized the event by releasing a scent trail from her engorged abdomen. Known throughout the superorganism for being in constant locomotion, FL77542PM4 had been a member of the colony since he first emerged from his pupal casing, and was considered an expert at nest construction. The service ended when fellow workers marched over his body, tore apart his thorax, and began feeding their fallen compatriot to their young [...]"  

Satire: Eons Of Darwinian Evolution Somehow Produce Mitch [07/05/10] "The process of evolution, through which single-celled organisms slowly developed over billions of years into exponentially more sophisticated forms of life, has inexplicably culminated in local Albuquerque resident Mitch Szabo, leading evolutionary biologists reported Monday. According to baffled sources within the scientific community, the exact same mechanisms responsible for some of nature's most spectacularly ingenious adaptations have apparently also produced a 35-year-old office assistant who has only worn pants that actually fit him a total of five times in his adult life.  "The identical processes that have given us the remarkable camouflage of the stick insect and the magnificent plumage of the bird-of-paradise have, it would seem, also given us a man who cannot scramble an egg," University of Pennsylvania biologist Ann Goldwyn-Ross said. "Despite evolution's emphasis on the inheritance and replication of advantageous traits, a man walks among us today who sweats profusely in any temperature and went to see Anger Management in theaters twice." "Mitch poses a real challenge to the whole notion of survival of the fittest," Goldwyn-Ross added in reference to the biological triumph who has never held a full-time job for longer than seven months. "He's turning evolutionary theory on its head." [...] When approached for comment, Mitch himself shrugged and asked if he'd be getting any money for this interview."  Note:  A full-length piece - very amusing.

Family Calls Camp Counselor Out of Control [07/05/10] "Parents say a summer camp promised but failed to do a background check on a camp counselor, a recovering addict who "developed an obsession" with their 14-year-old son "that ended with harassment and threats of violence." They claim the counselor moved out of state to follow their son, and eventually was "arrested, convicted after pleading guilty to a third degree felony, and ultimately jailed when he violated the terms of his probation." [...]"  

Chimpanzee Gangs Kill for Land [07/05/10] "Chimp-on-chimp attacks could be motivated by chimpanzees' desire to gain new territory from rival chimps. [...]"  Note:  They're chimps.  For those 'humans' who see themselves 'in charge', what's your excuse?

Man allegedly shut baby son in freezer [07/05/10] "A Nevada man was charged with brutalizing his baby son after his girlfriend's daughter said she saw him hit the infant and stick him in the freezer. [...]"   

David L. Buckner Faints on Glen Beck's Show [07/04/10] [0:59] "Another of Beck's lecturers, former Columbia Adjunct Associate Professor of Psychology and Education David L. Buckner, is perhaps best known to the masses for passing out in the middle of a Fox News broadcast. [...]" 

Driver "feels violated" by tinted-window citation, wins court fight [07/02/10] "I felt it was wrong," the 27-year-old man says of the ticket he got for having tinted windows. "You're allowed to defend yourself in this country, and that's what I did." (PennLive.com) [...]"   

'Reality' Show 'Jersey Shore' Called a Criminal Enterprise [07/02/10] "MTV and Viacom have cast members of "Jersey Shore" assault people "to provide a television spectacle" and boost ratings and profits, a woman who says she was victimized by the show claims in a federal RICO complaint. She claims the so-called "reality" TV show receives "profits from a pattern of unlawful activity by filming and broadcasting incidences of criminal assault and battery that have been intentionally provoked by members of the production team and cast of 'Jersey Shore' for entertainment purposes." [...]"   

The 100 Best Movie Insults In Under 10 Minutes  [07/02/10] " [9:59]  " This is one of those videos that really needs no introduction, because the title says it all: The 100 Greatest Movie Insults? Count us in. From Kip in "Napolean Dynamite" ("Your mom goes to college") to Buzz Lightyear in "Toy Story" ("You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity") to Lucky Day in "The Three Amigos" ("You son of a motherless goat!") and everything in between, this video comes in at just under 10 minutes and it's worth every second. [...]"    

AL: Man Claims Cops Went Wild With Taser [07/01/10] "A man claims Sulligent City police officers Tasered him 14 times and beat him with handcuffs and a flashlight in front of his wife and child during a traffic stop, for no particular reason. [...]"  

MD: Mugged at Six Flags, Muslim Kids Say [07/01/10] "Six Flags security guards detained two Muslim kids, threatened them with Mace "and asked them if they believed in god," then assaulted them in the parking lot, the boys and their families claim in Prince George's County Court. [...]"   

LA: Man steals duck from public park to use for home-cooked meal [07/01/10] "Ashmeer Tahir, 38, was arrested after someone saw him remove a muscovie duck from a park. A sheriff's deputy found Tahir at his home with a duck inside a bucket in his van. (New Orleans Times-Picayune) [...]"  

CO: Man dressed as leprechaun annoys customers in store parking lot [07/01/10] "He was jumping in and out from between cars, pretending to shoot at people with his fingers and may have made obscene gestures, as well. (Boulder Daily Camera) [...]"  

Doctor testing drug to ‘prevent’ lesbianism, interest in ‘male careers’ [07/01/10] "Dr. Maria New has a new strategy for treating unborn fetuses: the use of a potentially dangerous steroid aimed at preventing a rare congenital disorder that affects the adrenal gland, potentially consigning the future child to a lifetime regime of drugs. It also prevents "some of the symptoms of [this disorder] in girls, namely ambiguous genitalia. Because the condition causes overproduction of male hormones in the womb, girls who are affected tend to have genitals that look more male than female, though internal sex organs are normal." [...]"   Related: Attempt to 'prevent' homosexuality decried  "A U.S. bioethics professor is protesting the use of an unapproved drug by New York researchers who she says are trying to prevent homosexuality in the womb. A U.S. bioethics professor is protesting the use of an unapproved drug by New York researchers who she says are trying to "prevent homosexuality in the womb." Alice Dreger, professor of clinical medical humanities and bioethics at Northwestern University, says the condition being "treated" is congenital adrenal hyperplasia  (CAH), a serious endocrine disruption that sometimes results in ambiguous genitalia, a university release said Wednesday. Research has shown that females born with CAH have increased rates of tomboyism and lesbianism. Prenatal treatment with a drug called dexamethasone is used by some clinicians to prevent the development of abnormal genitalia. But the New York-based group of clinical researchers whose work is traced by Dreger suggests that prenatal dexamethasone can also be used in this population to prevent the "abnormality" of homosexuality. "This is the first we know in the history of medicine that clinicians are actively trying to prevent homosexuality," Dreger says. Major medical organizations including the American Academy of Pediatrics say this use of prenatal dexamethasone is experimental and not to be treated as standard of care. An investigation led by Dreger showed the chief proponent of this "off-label" use, pediatric endocrinologist Maria New, treated hundreds of women with this experimental drug without proper research ethics oversight, Northwestern University said. [...]"  Note: Talk about stupid people.  

NY: Judge fired, fined for free popcorn [07/01/10] "New York officials said a parking judge was fired and fined $2,500 for accepting free popcorn from a delivery driver whose tickets the judge had waived. [...]"   

Burger King employee pleads guilty to putting painkillers in food [07/01/10] "An earlier story said the guy was allegedly "disgruntled and angry at the business" because he had been suspended. (News4Jax.com) [...]"  Man Finds Pill In Burger King Sandwich  "It's probably safe to say Ernest McHenry didn't order a pill inside his fish sandwich from Burger King, but that's exactly what he got.  "I said, 'Wow.' I was kind of shocked at first and I let everyone know. I said, 'Wow, look at this,'" McHenry said.  McHenry found the blue pill on the bun of the sandwich. Police said it's the painkiller hydrocodone. "Immediately, my attitude about food or hunger, it all disappeared," McHenry said while laughing.  McHenry said he's lucky he discovered the pill before he actually took a bite. He said he went to put salt and pepper on his sandwich when he noticed it. [...]"  Five-year sentence for food tampering  "An employee of a Florida fast-food restaurant who admitted to putting painkillers in customers' food has been sentenced to prison, officials say. [...]"