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Life Story #45
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My awakening has happened like a traumatic bolt from the blue since my near fatal car crash in September 2000 with a major trigger event in mid-2003. My story is not some idealised transition, and some will not agree with my methods but I have somehow survived and it is what it is. It has been a shocking roller-coaster ride involving psychoactives (ayahuacsa/5-Meo-DMT), huge marriage and family rows, 100% certifiable paranormal events, alien encounters, multiple NDEs, discovering nitrous oxide as a meditation aid for lucid projection, and ultimately Higher Self connection.

I was born in 1961 (Aquarian), and have been married for 19 years with two teenage children. I am currently CFO of a private energy company.

PART 1 – GROWING UP

My early years and education

My parents emigrated and moved to London in the 50s, where I was born and have always lived. They are staunch Catholics and put me through the same system. They worked hard in the catering business but as they hardly spoke any English, this meant that as far as school was concerned I was on my own. At around age 4 to 5 I recall vaguely that I had been beaten or abused by a lady child minder that my parents used to leave me with whilst they both went to work. When I eventually had the courage to tell my parents they immediately rescued me from that daily terror ordeal.

My first school from ages 5 to11 was a fairly “rough” state run school (we had no money for private schooling), but I managed to stick up for myself and excelled intellectually and at sport. I recall there was a boy in the class who dabbled in witchcraft. I was intrigued enough to look at a library book on the subject but took it no further. However, the library visit did open my eyes to other subjects such as astral projection and lucid dreaming in my later teen years. Although I went through all the catholic rituals I never really questioned anything, but wasn’t particularly devoted either.

Because my grades were exceptional (especially in mathematics) for this type of school I was able to step up the educational ladder in my second school from age 12 to 18. During my teens I was somewhat of a loner because I did not follow the crowd, but I never had the courage or desire to be a leader, more an independent clever do-er. I lost my virginity to my maths teacher’s daughter around age 18….quite symmetrical looking back at it ! I never took drugs. (hard or soft). I tried smoking for a while (about 2 per day) but gave this up after a few years because they were giving me bad coughs. I drank alcohol socially but was only rarely to be found in the pub. I focussed on science and maths which I found I had a natural aptitude for. I sort of looked down on the creative subjects like art, music and drama as “easy” (how naïve and immature I was). I was talented in art but had to give up the subject because of timetable limitations. So I ended up moving on to one of the top UK universities where I graduated in 1982 and did a Masters degree for one further year, mainly because it was difficult to find a job because of the ongoing recession at the time.

Work and marriage

At age 22 I was offered a job by a French-American oilfield services company as a graduate field engineer testing exploration oil wells. I worled for 3 years in West Africa more or less full time (Nigeria, Congo, Angola, Gabon, South Africa). This was not a career, it was all about making as much money as quickly as possible. In three years I had saved more than most people would in a lifetime. I had survived a very high stress job in very dangerous territories. I had been working in countries wrecked by civil war, got caught in a military coup in Nigeria, had machine guns pointed at my back by edgy Nigerian soldiers, and avoided catching a multitude of nasty diseases. I was quite stressed out by the end and at age 26 I quit and came back to London not sure what I was going to do. I met my wife to be (also London born of similar immigrant parents who originated from the same region…we were also born in the same London hospital). We married in 1988.

Back in 1986 I had decided to move into finance as a trainee chartered accountant with one of the international accounting practices…my take home pay was less than10% of what I had been used to but I didn’t care. [Quite coincidentally one of the first assignments I was sent on was to work as an office assistant for 3 months out in Luxembourg on the liquidation of Banco Ambrosiano because of my fluency in French and Italian…..it was only years later that I would more fully understand the significance of “P2”, Licio Gelli, Cardinal Marcinkus etc. I can recall name after name on the wanted list…but who cares anymore]. I qualified as the equivalent of a US CPA in 1990. I was in the system in the audit department going with the flow ie. not really going anywhere for the next 5 years. In 1995 I asked for and was granted a move to the corporate finance department. This went well at first, but it also had the negative effect of making me very money focussed again.

I had two children by this stage. The home life was even more complicated because my mother-in-law was also living in our home after her husband died of a heart attack several years prior. My wife was a great mother, but she never really confided in me…I felt she was more married to her mother, her family and her family business.

Although I was well-off in the material sense (and my wife was also independently wealthy) there was a big hole on my life. Where was my spirituality? I seemed to have lost my way, my purpose. I think my HS had seen that I had got stuck and was about to give me a big wake-up call….

The Car Crash

It was Sunday morning, 3 September 2000. I remember waking up to drive to, and check on, my parent’s house which was empty whilst they were on holiday. The next thing I remember was waking up in hospital. I had apparently lost control of my car, spinning, hitting a wall and a tree. There was no-one else involved and no-else was hurt. The car was a total write-off, but at least all the multiple air-bags worked beautifully. I was totally unscathed except for the head injury. The force of the side impact had forced my head violently against the side window at the point of the right temporal lobe. On arriving in hospital unconscious I was immediately given an MRI scan, and they noticed a moderate amount of internal bleeding in the brain at the point of impact (a small brain haemorrhage). Fortunately the bleeding corrected itself during my two week stay in hospital. I had pins and needles down my right side for over a year and some initial memory issues but was otherwise OK.

What this incident did do, however, was make me think about my life and what was important to me. Coincidently I was offered a job as CFO by my brother’s boss. I had been wanting to de-stress my life and get out of the corporate finance rat race, so I before the end of 2000 I had accepted and moved on. This was one of those fork in the road events. I was now working normal hours and my weekends were free – I felt liberated. I had instantly re-ordered my priorities and although I didn’t know it I was about to go on a new roller coaster experiential learning spree…

11 September 2001

I watched the events of 911 unfold live on TV in stunned silence and amazement. At the time I still believed the propaganda machine – I was still not seeing through the smokescreen. I even ordered four gas masks (just in case) after the anthrax outbreaks. This whole event sent me on a quest for my own direct mystical experience….

Spiritual Quest

I suppose the “proper way” to have done this would have been through meditation (I would come back to that eventually) but for whatever reason I began researching the internet for herbal or chemical compounds that could alter consciousness, as if I needed to reconnect quickly. I came across the website www.erowid.org www.bluelight.nl which had a large database of information and personal experiences. .

After about six months of research I was ready for the big one….

PART 2 - EVOLUTION

Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)

I had come across this substance in my reading as being the pinnacle of experiences. It was also the primary active component in the now famous ayahuasca brew of shamans. I had also read the many warnings about the potential side effects. I bought Dr Rick Strassman’s book “DMT: The Spirit Molecule”. I learned that DMT was produced naturally in the body in the pineal gland which is centred between the brain hemispheres. Dr Strassman believes that DMT is produced in massive quantities at the point of death (I’ll get to the death thing later). I had been sitting on an unopened packet of 5-MeoDMT (an available legal analog) for some 3 months partly because it was a substance that needed to be vapourised and partly because it just didn’t seem that important at the time. By the summer of 2003 I remembered I had this packet, I was ready and circumstances were clear, so I went for it….the next 3 minutes was to be the most extraordinary turning point in my life…

I felt I was violently thrown down a wormhole, followed by massive expansion of consciousness as if I was one with the solar system, the galaxy, the multiverse, Source. There was no space-time or aliens or elves..everything just was, and it was blissful. I never quite re-experienced the same level of cosmic experience again (I suppose its like first time sex)…in a sense there was no need to, since a door had been opened.

Phosphenes

A few days later I was doing some chores and was about to switch on the plasma screen when an animated movie starting playing of its on accord. Everything was switched off. This is impossible I thought. The title of the film was “phosphenes”..what’s a phosphene I thought ? The film was like an educational flowchart so I started writing down the screen messages. There was no sound. I was unsure whether this was playing out in just my mind or would have been visible to others. The episode lasted about 5 minutes.

Then whilst things were still fresh in my mind I did a google search on phosphenes and after some 20 minutes I just stopped in amazement when I clicked on the link to this site: http://www.britfilms.com/britishfilms/catalogue/browse/?id=D9CC70591b06f1DE96yXjJ7E048C …here was an exact screenshot from what I had just seen.

It turned out to be a 10 minute animated movie produced by a Mr Jes Benstock for a UK film festival in 2003. At the time the film was not available to buy and was not on the net either. In the last year it has been put on the net. It can now be watched fro free at http://www.monitoranimation.de/dltv/phosphenehigh.html

At the time I wrote to the producer and he freely gave a copy of his film on DVD. He suggested I look into the work of Rupert Sheldrake and the concept of morphic resonance. I had somehow tapped into a higher level of awareness and connected with this documentary. I felt massively encouraged that I was onto something big…whatever happened now I had proof of something that was not possible according to the rules of traditional physics and it had happened to me (I was about to re-learn about modern day quantum physics through Lynne MacTaggart’s book “The Field”). What was ironic and paradoxical was that it was likely to been my own phosphenes that had had allowed me to perceive my vision about phosphenes

DMT – The Aftermath

I then experimented with trace amounts of DMT whilst watching movies on DVD on my plasma screen TV, and also got to experience the booster effects of nitrous oxide (laughing gas or N20) and to a lesser extent amyl nitrate. I noticed how my consciousness was merged into the movies and how I could feel and live each one. I did this for a while and it was I admit quite addictive. It was like each movie was an added life experience for my memory bank. Certain vivid experiences came from:

- Stigmata (Gospel of Thomas …who needs an institution between themselves and the God we all are?)
- Dune (Lots here including the idea that DMT was the equivalent of the water of life, and N20 the spice)
- Mission to Mars (alien genetic seeding and manipulation of humanity, alien presence especially beneath the oceans and on the far side of the moon and on mars, extraction of advanced humans)
- The Passion of Christ (emotional, but wait a minute “self salvation” is the way…I never asked anyone to die for my “transgressions”…everyone has to work it out for themselves otherwise what’s the point of the experience ?)
- Secret Party (group sex…compound orgasm – indescribable, you have to feel it)
- Carandiru (true story – prison massacre in Mexico…in the closing scenes as the young boy evades death my HS gave me total protection)

It was like I was wanting to experience the effects of immersion into media available in The Library on Monroe’s Level 27 in physicality…I seem to have a special affinity for that place. Since then films like The Matrix, Dark City, The Truman Show, Huckabees, Waking Life, Donnie Darko and The Island have become symbolic to many of the illusionary reality game show we appear to live in.

At this point I was without fear, I felt no guilt and no shame. I remember saying to people in a very manner of fact tone that something Cosmic was going to happen soon – I would now put that in the 2012 category, though I had never heard of that date or the Mayan calendar at the time.

I had also shifted to a very liberal attitude to sex (gay, bi, straight..who cares?). There is a very powerful sex-loop that one needs to overcome at some point in order to survive the spiritworld, otherwise you are easy fodder….many women fail here because they cannot face the seemingly “un-natural” things that people do without judgement. My wife could not believe I could even entertain thinking about any form of sex directly or indirectly with another man…that really shocked her, a massive power loss. It was interesting and uncanny how I could get inside the female psyche, as if I could tell what she was thinking just by the look in her eyes or her posture. I would say to her how God was Us, how I loved all humanity (even the so-called bad guys) and not just the traditional nuclear family, that we were not our bodies but Immortal Spirit. She never got it at first, and laughed in my face…all she wanted me to do was to rank my love for her and our children versus everyone else in existence. That’s not the point, they are different, I would say.

Before I had any chance of getting addicted to any stuff, and is if on cue, my wife and her mother arrived home suddenly one day to discover me doing my thing. She went ballistic, it was like World War III. I was totally calm and surrendered my remaining DMT for safekeeping by an independent relative (and have never had it again since). Funnily enough 3 weeks later the US FDA banned sales of research chemicals, effectively banning sales of pure refined DMT. Is it also a coincidence that the highest concentration of naturally occurring DMT in plants is to be found in the Brazilian rainforest, which is being systematically destroyed by corporate greed?

My wife and her family didn’t know how to handle me. We had some blazing rows, but at least we were talking openly for a change. She lost it several times hitting me. I could understand her reaction but I never hit back. Looking back, my wife was like my anchor for when I got too close to the edge. It did mean, however, that I had very few personal freedoms…I was monitored at home, my mail was searched, my cupboards surreptitiously raided, my phone bills scanned. I ended up doing a deal of sorts with my wife and her mother….”just let me do my spiritual research and I would not take anything illegal”. Nowadays, she sees the hostile corporate environment I work in, and maybe admires me for that at least.

She insisted I see a psychiatrist with her…no problem for me, it was more for her support really. The psychiatrist and I had a really good chat about spirituality (she liked Buddhism). She showed me her aura photo so I showed her mine..after which she privately recommended me to a psychic who works with some well known celebrities (but that’s a whole other story)

Through the internet I was able to share my experiences with a few people on the same wavelength. I was also able (with M5 help) to get out of the “Messiah mode”.
I learnt that the best way to help others is to help oneself (an attitude of positive selfishness as a friend of mine called it).

At that time it was as if I had to absorb as much information as quickly as possible whilst awake during that physical lifetime/timeline.
I started reading books for the first time in twenty years and went on a DVD buying spree orgy…I have a library of some 400 films now. I was also inspired by the likes of Adyashanti, Lynne McTaggart, Mike Dooley and David Icke.

The i-pod

In late 2003 when I came across something called an i-pod I had the urge to buy one. In fact I bought three so the children had one each. My wife thought I was nuts buying all these (seemingly) expensive gadgets. Little did she know how i-pods and video i-pods would help the masses realise their self potential and make use of “dead time” (such as commuting)…they also take peoples’ attention from the mainstream media and instead allow people to choose their own emotional input. They are fast becoming a mainstay of education and also a convenient sensory input for enlightenment (eg spoken word and binaural beats – hemisync/holosync). I have converted my favourite DVDs to my I-pod. I can see how i-pods could be used to remember people by feeling their emotional state through the contents of their i-pod.

Religion

It was as if I had just woken up (a hard disk re-boot) and I had to quickly figure out what religion was really about for me. I did a crash DVD course in Christianity, Islam, Sufism, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism. By the end of that lot I had come to the view that they all had the same objective….unity with Source. If anything I found the eastern methodologies more accurate. But they all suffered from one fatal flaw in that they deified advanced individuals to the exclusion of others, and they had a tendency to put institutions between each person and their HS. Whilst I let everyone else have their own belief system, I classified myself as “beyond religion”. As they say “look within”. A later thought….Why not swap your crucifix for a Q-Link?

If one looked at the mainstream religious structures more suspiciously then one could see how they had all taken over and twisted the sayings of individuals for the purposes of power and control. Also, the innocent looking rituals like Sunday mass could be interpreted as subconscious brainwashing or simply a form of “mind control”. People repeat words in a trance-like state, often not even aware of what they are saying or the power of their words and their thought. There are many honest servants in the religions and many parents with good intentions, and it is probably OK to give children some initial grounding, but they are blind to the fact that they have no right to program their belief systems into the minds of the innocent as if they had some God given authority. They talk about the power of faith, without realising that it’s the faith in one’s own power that’s important, and not blind faith in some convoluted stories….let everyone work it out for themselves I say. Knowledge is power, and knowledge and experience demolish fear.

There was one more aspect I had to cover….

Kabbalah

During my DMT phase I had one episode of seeing an empty throne room with Hebrew letters tumbling down from it. I had no idea want this was all about, but when I learnt that the London Kabbalah centre was just round the corner from my office I thought I’d sign up for a course and see what it was all about. It was 2004 and kabbalah was also getting a lot of media attention.

At first I was quite taken by the philosophy…eg. Universal Light Source, loss of ego, parallel universes, astrology, think big, the eyes are the window to the Soul (that struck a chord). I could give them credit for the tree of life structure, but what I did not particularly like was the historical baggage that went with the current philosophy.

They explained how their red string on the “left” wrist provided protection against negative influences of others. Well the funny thing was that that before the course started I already wore two string bracelets, one red, one blended blue/yellow, and these were on my “right” wrist. I did not change this. In a private session the teacher asked why I used the right wrist…I don’t need protection from strings as I have my own Divine protection I told him in a very matter of fact way (he knew my background). So there I was like a black sheep, the only one in the whole kabbalah school with a red string on the “wrong wrist”.

I carried on with the courses but what turned me off completely was when they started talking about soul structures and reincarnation as if they knew it all exactly down to the last full stop!. I had to speak up in the class (all classes are taped)…”Sir, this may be Ok for some people, but I cannot accept your concept of perpetual reincarnation – as far as I’m concerned reincarnation is over…its finished..that’s it”

Once I had finished the courses I decided that this was not for me. Although the teachers had mentioned to me privately that they got a very hostile reception from the traditional hardcore Jews I felt that there was something not quite right in the whole set-up. In particular they failed to mention the negative or darker aspects of kabbalah or the area of spiritual deception which is everywhere..after all, how are we supposed to fully understand and develop and protect ourselves without full disclosure and balance I thanked them for giving me some good spiritual basics and a certain amount of grounding…since at that stage it felt like I was just coming back down to earth. I made some voluntary contributions to what I thought were worthwhile causes as a thank-you, and I also left my teacher with a list of personal recommendations on how they could improve their courses (that was funny..a pleasant but arrogant kid making suggestions against 6,000 years of history! At least I got a thank you).

Matrix 5

It was during my web surfing for discussion about reincarnation and the white-light tunnel trap that I came across a forum where someone had pasted a link to the M5 website. I was intrigued…so I ordered M5 vols I,II and III and later the M5 poster.
As I read Vol I I had goosebumps…the direct style was clear, and the content just “seemed right”.

In particular, once I had been reminded of it the whole concept of simultaneous incarnations was so bleeding obvious I could not understand why no-one had mentioned it before. I thought to myself, well of course since time is not a linear function (to me more like a spiral), so simultaneous incarnation makes logical sense.
The concept of the Game and sequential incarnations just slotted in perfectly.

Auras

Before these experiences it had never even occurred to me to have an aura photo taken. The first one below was taken at a conference called Mind, Body,Spirit in early 2004. I noticed the toroidal shape of the white above the head…my wife mockingly said “Is that your halo?”..now that’s not a bad idea I laughed back. Also, was the vertical line bisecting the torus just a trick of the light? Lots of M5 analogy here.

This second picture was taken in November 2005…the interpreter pointed out the indigo in the heart. (PS. The white scratch marks were made by me by accident).

Although these pictures can change in an instant, regular aura photography could be used like we use body medicals, as a spiritual and emotional check-up. They also do not lie.

Holosync / Hemisync

I came across holosync as if by accident. The concept of using binaural beat soundtracks to lull the brain into alpha, delta or theta brain states seemed brilliant. I went through the holosync course putting the tracks on my I-pod…it allowed me to learn how to quickly meditate like a yogi master in just a few weeks. This stuff really works. During these sessions I started to experience spontaneous astral projection.

The power of Thought, the subconscious mind and subliminals

I watched an interview by Drunvalo Melchizedek where he talked about HS connection, and that before doing that we had to achieve Lower Self connection ie with the subconscious. Once that was achieved HS connection could happen.
I just knew he was right, and so it proved.

My HS gave me an insight that the most important thing in life which we should understand is the “power of our Thoughts”.

Post DMT I had been directed to Antony Robbins “get the edge”, but instead I found Mike Dooley’s Infinite Possibilities series on CD…same principals – excellent empowering material. And besides I got the edge anyway..the “Leading Edge” (that was a funny coincidence).

Vortex Mathematics

I was listening to an interview on the net given by a guy called Marco Rodin about his perceptions on vortex mathematics when at the same time my daughter rushed in and asked me a question which was on a TV quiz…”Daddy how do you make 100 from 6 nines?” I thought a while then said..9x9=81+9+9=99; 9/9=1, 99+1=100

I did not realise at the time but Rodin’s concept was based on the primacy of 9 (not new), but with vectors 3 and 6 and the infinite repeating sequence 1, 2, 4, 8. 7. 5 ie.
1
1x2 = 2
2x2=4
4x2=8
8x2=16=1+6=7
7x2=14=1+4=5
5x2=10=1+0=1
1x2=2
…..etc

What he did with all this was to prove that the whole mathematical sequence in 3D as a TORUS (a doughnut). He says he can make toroidal electromagnectic coils for power generation that are extraordinarily energy efficient. Here was another smart guy, who like Nikola Tesla is ignored by the mainstream because his ideas would shatter the economic status quo. It also occurred to me that the representation of the HS in the M5 graphic could fit a toroidal shape, as would the link to each incarnation.

Photoreading

After having done holosync, the centrepointe marketing people sent me a mailshot about something called “photo-reading”. I quickly did the course and learnt how to absorb information rapidly and directly into the subconscious mind. This was to be a necessary prequel to the next step below (isn’t it strange when things just fall into line in sequence)…

Neutralising the subconscious power of all “holy books” [a great loop-breaker]

It occurred to me that “there are in fact no holy books other than the ones we write for ourselves”. Although there are some valid insights in some parts of these books, there was also much psychological baggage and deception/manipulation in them. l began wondering how I could erase their influence from not just my conscious mind, but my subconscious as well, seeing as I didn’t have the time or inclination to actually read them all. The photo-reading technique had given me the answer. I personalised and speeded up the technique even more by using a handheld red elliptical laser. I photo-read by laser scanning in REVERSE order every page and every word of the following books:

· Kabbalah’s bible – 23 volumes called The Zohar (I ultra-lased it forwards as it’s normally read backwards)
· The Koran; and
· The Bible (finished this on 3 September 2006..3/9/6…on the 6th anniversary of my car accident..hmmm was I getting paranoid about these numbers)

This exercise might sound totally ludicrous, blasphemous, and sacriligeous to many people, but the feeling of liberation and immunity it gave me was unimaginable. I am my own Master. This erasure technique could be used by anyone on any document.

Politics

I used to be right wing…very much anti-bureaucracy and anti-tax. Then I tried the Green Party, but now I see even environmentalism is also being turned into a “war on global warming” so they can tax you some more. Then I started to see through the lies, manipulation and spin and the big brother state. Even my wife has seen the light on this one. The scientific basis for global warming as promulgated by Al Gore (an inconvenient lie) is flawed anyway, but it’s as if the politicians need to have a war on something to justify their existence now that the war on terror seems to have got stuck. They used to say that the biggest industry in the world was tourism….the politicians have given that title to terrorism.

For me politics is now totally devalued – it’s all a load of bollocks. I don’t watch TV news anymore and I don’t read the newspapers. “Democracy is an illusion. Every time you vote you give your power away. Vote for yourself”

When I suggested to my wife she watch the documentary “911 – In plane site” several years ago she just brushed me off as a lunatic. Now she just buries her head in the sand as the momentum for full disclosure builds.

Movie - What the bleep do we know?

I had been primed for this six months before its release…it just seemed so apt to me that a movie would cause such a wave. The combination of science and spirituality was now back in the public eye after having buried for so long. Quantum physics for the masses – about time too.

The Law of Attraction (Movie - The Secret)

I was waiting for this film 3 months before its launch. In my own insights I had seen how it would go global following a crack in the usual media control. It is fast changing peoples’ perceptions on a global scale.

There is, however, a trap in The Secret, and I fell right into it. I had downloaded a short video clip extra for daily I-pod visualisation. This clip really focuses heavily on attracting money. The first time I watched it I saw the money machine turn into a money waterfall. The second time I watched it the guilt thought occurred to me…”but what about all the poor people etc”, then the video I was watching was overrun…a different film took over…as the roman touched the bust instead of it turning to gold it turned to dust, a spirit entity flew across the screen giving me a real dirty stare. At the time it ripped a strip of nerves from my left foot just above the toe line. I was literally hobbling for a week even though there was no outward sign of damage. I now have a “spiritual scar” on my left foot. I don’t know who did this - was it my HS, LS or an external entity, I don’t know but I suspect the latter. In any case it provided a valuable lesson, that one should focus totally on “inner enlightenment first” then all the other things of the world will just fall into place.

It felt like I had at last understood how to smash the “Money loop”.
No–one need live a life of poverty or suffering once they awaken and realise the power within. I treat money like fresh air - you breath it in and breath it out. The thing about money was to let go….its “distribution” is more important than its “accumulation”

The laws and virtues in The Secret are empowering to all peoples everywhere:
· Attraction
· Allowance (= Freedom)
· Forgiveness (no judgement)
· Gratitude
· Humility
· Creation

I had a separate connection with the concept of Forgiveness when I watched the film Solaris, when at the end the women says to Clooney “everything we’ve done is forgiven”. The words just penetrated my soul and I cried for 30 minutes.

Inspirational thoughts and phrases

“To conquer the illusionary self is the Battle of Armageddon”…Its all about self-enlightenment and self-salvation and everyone has a part to play
“Everyone has to work it out for themselves…to follow their own Golden Path”
“I know nothing….I have no idea”
“Let go of everything you fear to lose” [Yoda, Star Wars III]
“Thoughts become Things” [Mike Dooley]
“All that is hidden will become known”..the subconscious will become conscious
“Look within because God is Us”
“Thought plus emotion = Creation”
“There are no coincidences”
“Teaching others how to think is true education”
“We can be Creators of new realities and new universes”
“Learn to live multi-dimensionally”
“Life is a school for the Soul”

Fully-conscious Higher Self Connection

This was another major recent event. I was in deep nitrous meditation combined with holosync tailored soundtrack. My consciousness was elevated to such a level that there appeared above and around me 4 faces in holographic 3-D. It felt like looking God in the eye and surviving. The scene reminded me of the Queen pop group’s album cover. How ironic given the stories surrounding the reptilian “queen”.
Once one has touched HS one does not hide.

The illusion of death

To put it simply I am absolutely sure I have died 5 or 6 times in this lifetime and yet I’m still here. The historical life review was done once, but then each time I would have a “post-life” roll forward. How would the world develop as a consequence of my life. On two occasions it looked like I was in my HS represented like a mission-control command centre with all these people running round working for me. The roof was like a glass dome with a network of gridlines.

Then I got to the point where I didn’t believe in “death” anymore…instead there were only timelines, and people were trapped into trying to score high according to their belief system. Until they understand how to move beyond the game they will find it hard to experience the true immortality that awaits.

I had one time where I saw how the death cycle was being used to recycle souls like fodder. People were lining up to enter what looked like an airport terminal so they be sucked up, absorbed and sent back around again. I was sat outside watching, saying to myself “I’m not budging, and there is no way I would suicide myself….If you want me you’ll have to come down here and get me” I challenged.

Another time I had the grim reaper appear in front of me. I stood up, looked him in the eye, and feeling like I was going to punch him on the nose and told him to “piss-off” or should I be the reaper’s reaper? He went. I felt shaken, but also exhilarated and immortal. I instinctively raised my right hand high, palm open, fingers stretched as if in salute.

There is no hell or heaven….just what you make of it

Alien encounters

The subject of alien activity (and our captivity) has always fascinated me. I still have magazines from 20 years ago on the subject. I could correlate perfectly with the experiences of David Icke…the fact that he declared he had taken ayahuasca made what he was saying all the more relevant and believable to me. The explanations given in M5 were clear and inspiring. The notion that alien species with all their high-tech gizmos were actually spiritually naïve had hit the nail on the head. They were searching for God but they were looking in the wrong place!

I watched and was impressed by the Disclosure Project and the Secret Space DVD.
I have had personal experiences of multi-dimensional entities. Here are just two cases:

· November 2006: Whilst abroad on a business trip I was sat crossed legged on the bed doing my I-pod meditation thing at 2 am…then my I-pod went crazy and I was surrounded by an awareness of alien presence. The reptilian turned up like Scotty had beamed him in. He was shocked that I was awake, and fully admitted his identity – I knew who he was…he worked in the same company! . He is the most un-natural person I know, he never sweats, and he uses psychology and mind games with people all the time, and he now knows that I know who he is. He then hid behind some sort of silver metallic box (like shielding for his protection). From behind the box these aliens said they were already here through technology and the microchip. They then lay down a smattering of clear plastic cards with integrated circuitry as if they were ID cards as if I should be impressed (I wasn’t). At the same time another bunch of ID cards with a different colour were paced top of the first lot like some sort of inter-galactic poker game. I got the impression the second set were laid by a different species more in my defense but I never saw them
· The entities can also take the shape of inanimate objects such as a red tubular interweaving in a criss-cross pattern. It’s difficult to be sure what’s what anymore.

It occurred to me that at a certain level we are all aliens, and then beyond that we are not really separate at all. If only they would all understand that and display some humility they might make some spiritual progress. Until we are looked upon as equals rather than cattle the alien entities will find it extremely difficult to fully awaken…but that’s their choice of course.

PART 3 – LUCID PROJECTION

I have used the Gateway material from Robert Monroe’s Hemisync products company, but I needed a technique for waking life projection….

So I developed by trial and error a daily meditation practice involving a lungful of nitrous, plus video I-pod binaural subliminal soundtracks or inspirational video, a natural wooden door or glass oval desk to focus on and combined this all with hand gestures (without knowing what they were I was using Mudras). I have become more mentally focussed, perceptive, creative, psychic, and openly honest (sometimes brutally so. To those who would ask I say lose all fear, drop the ego and become mentally “bullet-proof”….become the awakened ego-less God you are.

Using this technique of “fully conscious or lucid astral projection” I have experienced much and tried to keep journals as best I could. Here is an extract listing of some of them, in no particular order:

· We are experiencing life in a “dualistic prison simulation” but which is presented as a game. We are manipulated to try to score high until we see the game for what it is and spiral out;
· We are trapped in this simulation through the wake-sleep cycle;
· We really only exist in the Moment and our previous thoughts are like replica matchstick men that just fall away from us
· I was told there are 12 chakras not 7, and I have felt and seen the chakra vortices…but why do we need chakras anyway, why cant we just be ?
· Mudras (hand gestures of power) are one of the code-breakers out of here
· Wormhole travel on several occasions, including a split wormhole. I saw the fabric of the wormhole wall as working like a pulse, like a particle accelerator.
· The rising spiralling vortex in gold and orange…interesting analogy to “spiralling out of the game”. I saw how spiral enlightenment will replace the linear kabbalistic tree of life structure
· Eavesdropped on inter-HS events…seen things that are way beyond our current perceptions of reality. Been caught by the equivalent of the “HS spiritual police” who then had to apologise profusely when they realised who I was and how I had got to where I was
· Aliens directing an energy beam at the earth’s South Pole…were they tearing the ozone layer ?
· We are all One, and if you have to put a gender on it, we are ultimately masculine
· I’ve seen the female psyche or DNA represented as made of layered and discontinuous tubular sections whereas the male psyche/DNA was a represented by a pure continuous wave. Having said that, women had the opportunity to alter that structure
· Everyone talks about the Divine Feminine..what about the Divine Masculine or the Divine Androgyny for that matter?
· I can recognise my subconscious mind visually, valuable when spiritual deception is everywhere
· Enter the “bliss channel” of your subconscious by combining sound, light and slow salsa-like rhythm and observe the geometric patterns in the minds eye
· The highest level of consciousness is activated through Sound…sound is masculine
· Ideas popping up everywhere…Why not put the Gospel of Thomas to rap music, how about hip-hop Tai Chi, or lucid dreaming specs
· Passed through lower astral levels and received a torrent of verbal abuse from a gang of entities. Their words flew like red bullets. I did not react and just moved on up
· Attracted my own protectors who surround me during my waking hours
· Switching timelines and reversing a timeline

I wonder to myself, is there a deliberate reason why there is no medical assessment of the effects of the anaesthetic gas N2O on consciousness rather than it just being given to women during childbirth? My own suspicion is that it temporarily paralyses the genetic mind blocks programmed into our DNA allowing us to experience higher levels of consciousness vividly and lucidly without filtering.

For what its worth anyone can become a prophet, seer, or holographic visualiser. All you need is a glass oval desk, a video I-pod, a lungful of nitrous, hands placed flat about an inch above the glass, a synchronised brain, and a free flowing subconscious. With training you can turn the glass into a holographic vision board. As you get to higher levels of consciousness you hardly need any nitrous at all…it becomes a natural ability.

CONCLUSION

There is more I could say, but these are the primary events of my life experience.

You may just say that this is all one big drug induced hallucination. Maybe it is, or maybe it’s most others who are living the holographic game show ? I take full responsibility for my life, I try to live a life of allowance, gratitude, appreciation and forgiveness, and I aim not to do or think harm to anyone. Some people call me arrogant….no, in fact I practice regular humility, and it’s the ones who cannot tolerate allowance who are the arrogant ones. I would be willing to submit myself to any controlled test or evaluation to see whether my explorations in consciousness have a scientific basis, but I’m not fussed because its all just a game. Sometimes its best just to let go, laugh and have fun.

I appreciate the opportunity to document these events
With thanks and allowance